chrisbaby24:
Ok....make he do...INSERT IN...make he dey play...if he wan shoot out.....make he INSERT OUT...!!!!

Funny you, from my personal experience, the wife does not need him to use CD again since she has done family planning. She's well protected 'cos the doctor must have given her the best one which is good for her. So let her play on #bumper2bumper and #back2back

MirandaPrestly:



As a person who has been through three difficult pregnancies and three Caesarean sections, I understand why a woman would say "no more babies" and actually do something about it.
However, I think she should take a step further by studying her cycle for six months. That should be enough time to give her a good idea of how her body works. During her safe period, the CD isn't necessary. When she is unsafe, her husband should use it. It's only for a few days anyway. Like someone rightly said, no method is 100% effective. She isn't entirely wrong for wanting to be safe, but compromise is necessary in marriage. There has to be a middle ground somewhere, to reduce friction in the relationship.

This is more like it!

I salute you, you are an intelligent woman. This response is very balanced and mature not like the emotional rubbish piled up there by Tufanja.

Respect.

chrisbaby24:
Ok....make he do...INSERT IN...make he dey play...if he wan shoot out.....make he INSERT OUT...!!!!

and Nigeria keep increasing with d little drop DAT drop in DAT womb.

asalimpo:
can't a vasectomy fix this? (besides y is she scared of having anoda child. One last babe. It maynt be as bad as she thinks. You never know which one will save/change the world)

Vasectomy is the best idea....with it the man can wipe in and out freely.

and if with d vasec...and by chance d woman still gets impreg, she can always do a D and C.

What's d point of giving birth to so many kids you cant adequately take care of.....the man might claim he's financially buoyant at a certain period. but then he might never predict the future....that stable job might not be there in the next ten years, that investment at the stock exchange might crash to rock bottom....the bread giver ( who in most cases, is the man) might kick the bucket whilst the children are still washing their bellies first....


uncontrolled breeding is a disaster.

Saylawchar:



Funny you, from my personal experience, the wife does not need him to use CD again since she has done family planning. She's well protected 'cos the doctor must have given her the best one which is good for her. So let her play on #bumper2bumper and #back2back

I guess she is just very scared and needs to reassure herself wt him using a CD. I belief she wld av been educated abt the family planning methods including the natural methods, b4 making an informed choice, but I dnt understand why she still wants him to use CD, she is d only one tht knws her reasons

Tufanja:


It would be nice if we can refrain from judgements about other women.

The lady is actually acting very wise. I have been an intern at prenatal consultations, we got different women who used different types of contraceptives and became pregnant anyway (despite of the implant, contraceptive pills, intra-uterine devices). Last january only I got at least 3 cases! None of these methods is giving a 100% coverage. The security of the method is in practice often even lower than many of the statistics use to show (especially those funded by the producers). That is why it should be general knowledge that if you want the maximum level of security you use the "double dutch-method", which means the combination of two methods, mostly a condom with a form of female contraceptive. The lady in this case has shown she is intelligent and well-informed. Thumbs up.

More drastic solutions are male or female sterilization. If the husband is complaining, he can show leadership and let himself be helped by a surgeon instead of putting the fertility burden at the female side only.

So because it failed in other women then it must fail in her on case. So if you're in her situation you will insist that your husband should be using condoms? really? If you don't know know it now that having unprotected sex helps in solidifying a relationship. Once couples start having sex with condoms, there is a big tendency that there will be problems in the relationship. The only time it's permissible for couples to use condom is if any of the partner has an STD

Why does headship not involve taking the lead in controlling the number of children a couple has. If you leave it all to the woman, then you should be willing to do whatever she feels is best.

Tufanja, I applaud you for your vast display of common sense, especially in the vast sea of nonsense that is some misguided/misinformed NLers.

And to whoever said vasectomy was permanent. Dude, you are very very wrong, it's a reversible process. So please re-educate yourself.

pentag0nal:


I agree with you. This is a cool Christian bro who has no one else but his wife. This woman asked for family planning, the man took her to the hospital, paid the bill and got the family planning done only for the woman to demand that he must also always use condom as additional protection against pregnancy.

How do you expect a married young man to be sentenced to a lifetime of condoms with his own wife?

op, are you sure it's not your case we are trying to solve here? They way you handle the issue is more alarming than the true story itself.


Anyway, the woman is only asking the man to taste okro soup so as to differentiate between ogbono and ewedu. I can't for once imagine condom with my wedded wife, tufiakwa

pentag0nal:


I agree with you. This is a cool Christian bro who has no one else but his wife. This woman asked for family planning, the man took her to the hospital, paid the bill and got the family planning done only for the woman to demand that he must also always use condom as additional protection against pregnancy.

How do you expect a married young man to be sentenced to a lifetime of condoms with his own wife?

op, are you sure it's not your case we are trying to solve here? They way you handle the issue is more alarming than the true story itself.


Anyway, the woman is only asking the man to taste okro soup so as to differentiate between ogbono and ewedu. I can't for once imagine condom with my wedded wife, tufiakwa

Even condom fails woefully atimes.

To avoid stories that touch, let her go and get her fallopian tubes tied. That is a sure permanent solution of family planning since she is done with having kids.

pentag0nal:


So the man can no longer sleep with his one and only wife without a condom? Is that not a life of misery? When girlfriends even allow their boyfriends to do it raw not to talk of somebody's wife?

The MAN did Not pay the bride price thats why he allows the woman to take decision am Not using Condom owk lets follow ur menstral circle

pentag0nal:
I know a couple that have three children. They don't want another child and the wife insisted they adopt a family planning method. They have gone to the hospital and the family planning has been done but even after that, the wife has insisted that the man must use condom anytime they want to have sex.

The man is very unhappy about this and becoming frustrated.

What you think guys, ladies?

Note that there is no case or suspicion of infidelity here, the woman is so afraid of getting pregnant again.

abeg free the woman . woman dey outside ... which 1 be all this stress

saintandsinnerz:

So because it failed in other women then it must fail in her on case. So if you're in her situation you will insist that your husband should be using condoms? really? If you don't know know it now that having unprotected sex helps in solidifying a relationship. Once couples start having sex with condoms, there is a big tendency that there will be problems in the relationship. The only time it's permissible for couples to use condom is if any of the partner has an STD

well said

I want to believe that the woman's fear is uncalled for. She shouldn't have done the procedure on herself then and rather insists on the husband using Condoms, then I will agree. Why punish or sentence your husband to that misery of condom for rest of his life when U have the protection done, even if it fails or not 100% safe. I also wonder how a wife will appreciate love making with a husband that way. That idea is abnormal and kills the essence of marriage. Vasectomy is good as suggested but it's not reversible as the women's procedure and prone to cancers in later life as stated by medical research. I even think this woman will still insist on the man to wear a condom if he has a vasectomy done on himself for the fears she keep having. The likes of Tufanja, though knowledgeable are a bit emotional about the subject and may not understand the practical nature of matrimony yet.
Now with what is in place, the couple can add safety/rythm method but skin to skin, unsafe/withdrawal or spermicide or use CD method as supports to her not getting pregnant but then they both enjoy freedom within these periods with the agreement of both shifting grounds to accommodate each other.
She also ought to know that the skin to skin is for her perfect feel and enjoyment except she's just hypocritical about love making or she has something yet to say or hiding. Doesn't CD burst at times, so what kind of guarantee is she asking for, abeg.

menabae:
if the woman knws and can calculate her ovulation period then she av no thing to fear about,bt if she doesn't knw anything abt her ovulation abeg let her stick to her condom,becos family planning is not 100% reliable fact,and it does work on some women effectively while some fails,I'm saying this becos I witness a similar case that happened to one couple some years back,they agreed to have family planning but along the line. Injection or pills watever method she took didn't work unknowingly for her she took in,while she still believes she is on family planning ,untill the belle don reach six month before she knew wtf?the husband couldn't believed his ear so he denied the pregnancy and the wife,he said he was not the once responsible ,so he rejected the baby and the mother till date....so I will advice her to go for condom to avoid story that touches....

Wey DNA test

pentag0nal:
I know a couple that have three children. They don't want another child and the wife insisted they adopt a family planning method. They have gone to the hospital and the family planning has been done but even after that, the wife has insisted that the man must use condom anytime they want to have sex.

The man is very unhappy about this and becoming frustrated.

What you think guys, ladies?

Note that there is no case or suspicion of infidelity here, the woman is so afraid of getting pregnant again.

OP, if l hear say u re not d man in d story/its not ur own story u re talking about. Otherwise y would u carry other couple's matter on ur head, or is d two of u marrying d woman @ d same time?

Tell us u re d one lets know hw to help u.

Tufanja:


This comment exactly illustrates why I wonder why Nigerian women are crazy about marriage. This is not a marriage but a prison. With as guard an immature man who thinks he can play husband.

If you frustrate a man, he can act like a not grown up child and respond in any possible way without even considering that he might be the cause of the frustration. But if you frustrate a woman...she should just shut up. #losersmentality

I spot some streaks feminism tendencies here. lol

menabae:
The wife is just being cautious,family planning method is not good fr every woman's body,so is bound to fail to some extent, I think the condom is better...... my opinion thou

Cd isnt good abeg. How can a husband not feel d flesh of his wife. Flesh 2 flesg is d sweetest. If she's my wife i wont take dat bullshit grm her.

pentag0nal:


The wife is well educated and she knows that. according to her, she does not want to take any chances of getting pregnant again so the man must settle for condom forever.

She is illiterate.

Smh.

Make the man give his own ultimatum.

@Tufanja, I support you hundred per cent. The problem of unwanted child can also destroy peace of family. Let the husband go for vasectomy if he dislike CD.

pentag0nal:


While I understand your points, is this enough justification for a woman to sentence her husband to a lifetime of condoms?

are you sure you are not the man? What other explanation do you need? He should get a vasectomy, is that too much to ask? Will he carry the pregnancy if the contraceptive fail? Haba! Why so selfish? The woman has done a contraceptive that is not fail-prove, now she needs a backup; is that too much to ask? Oh.. because she didn't demand a vasectomy. So, only the woman should sacrifice? What is wrong in using a condom anyway? Smh!

eyinjuege:


The man should get a vasectomy. Faster, easier to perform and more effective.

thank you.

abbey621:
I see this as a non issue. The best way to put all doubts to rest is for the woman to have her tubes tied. Since she's the one afraid of getting pregnant and she already had 3 children it shouldn't be a big deal. She can even go behind the husband to get this done and there would be no tension. Ultimately Nigerian women must realize if you frustrate your husband over trivial issues, he's going to take those frustration out on something or someone else, more often than not it's going to result in him having extra-marital affairs and by then it's too late to compromise!

see how you slyly forgot to suggest a VASECTOMY for the man. You try

chrisbaby24:
Ok....make he do...INSERT IN...make he dey play...if he wan shoot out.....make he INSERT OUT...!!!!

"insert out " RIP English language teachers. SMFH

MsGlobalwonder:
see how you slyly forgot to suggest a VASECTOMY for the man. You try

If the man was the one complaining or afraid of getting his wife pregnant and he's not contented with the various birth control techniques available, I would have suggested a vasectomy for him, the complainer should be the one willing to try anything

Tufanja:


It would be nice if we can refrain from judgements about other women.

The lady is actually acting very wise. I have been an intern at prenatal consultations, we got different women who used different types of contraceptives and became pregnant anyway (despite of the implant, contraceptive pills, intra-uterine devices). Last january only I got at least 3 cases! None of these methods is giving a 100% coverage. The security of the method is in practice often even lower than many of the statistics use to show (especially those funded by the producers). That is why it should be general knowledge that if you want the maximum level of security you use the "double dutch-method", which means the combination of two methods, mostly a condom with a form of female contraceptive. The lady in this case has shown she is intelligent and well-informed. Thumbs up.

More drastic solutions are male or female sterilization. If the husband is complaining, he can show leadership and let himself be helped by a surgeon instead of putting the fertility burden at the female side only.

On the contrary, she isn't very well informed.
The luteal phase of the menstrual cycle is generally safe for all women. Within 24 hours of ovulation, the egg is already dead. That woman cannot get pregnant till some days after the next menses. For an average 28 day-cycle, it means the woman has at least 13 days post ovulation in which there is zero chance of conception, before the next menses. Why can't she give her husband these 13 days, while she insists on condoms on the other days?

pentag0nal:


You need to study more. You are talking of pills what about injections, implants and IUD?

Google is there for you...

I'm guessing you're not married. Forget about what google or any doctor says, all those methods are bound to fail at a certain point. Condom is still the safest.

abbey621:


If the man was the one complaining or afraid of getting his wife pregnant and he's not contented with the various birth control techniques available, I would have suggested a vasectomy for him, the complainer should be the one willing to try anything

does a man get pregnant or complication during child birth? Marriage is a union where issues are shared and solved like one. For God's sake, this woman may have had terrible pregnancies and her life may be on the line if she dares get pregnant again. Nit everyone can stand an abortion. Contraceptive is not 100% and she has gotten one, what is wrong in a man using something as simple as a condom. Condom is a form of contraceptive too and some couple use it. If he can't use a condom, he should do a vasectomy, it is reversible. So, she should use double dose of contraceptive on herself alone or risk her life by getting pregnant because she used just one contraceptive? This woman is not refusing her husband sex, she just wants a little sacrifice and you people are screaming your lungs. It's just pathetic. You guyz are the kind of men women pray against. You know nothing about marriage and sacrifices. *sigh

The solution is simple - kindly ho and buy a carton of POSTINO 2 and take 2 pills after each intercourse den u wldnt get pregnant. But be ready to accept the side effect..thank u

Gosh, can't just believe many comments here, op, if u enter labour ward 3 times, if u are unlucky to av obstructed labour resulting in emergency CS, d next time u hear "preg" , dem no go finish d "nancy" before u run for ur dear life,
For those talking abt family planning, u na never hear woman on IUCD who got pregnant and delivered both IUCD and baby together, no family planning is 100% abeg, let's be educated. Wats d big deal in condom, if d man loves his wife, let him sacrifice it na, at least she has done one family planning, let d husband do his own too "EQUATION BALANCED"

Hmm

pentag0nal:


So the man can no longer sleep with his one and only wife without a condom? Is that not a life of misery? When girlfriends even allow their boyfriends to do it raw not to talk of somebody's wife?

Then he should go take it raw . His wife wants him using a sheath Kilode