MRbrownJAY:

i have always known the difference between right or wrong.
you have to look at each individual before looking at it as "right or wrong" and we all know that what may be right for some, can be wrong for others, OR what may be right today, might not be right tomorrow.
its all about doing what YOU believe is right at the time and live with the consequences of that action.

if a partner decides to cheat on me then its because they were weak at that point and i will take it as just that. if i never cheated all my life, someone could still come in my life and cheat on me.
nobody is perfect and therefore if my partner cheats on me then i will have to look at her individually and find out what happened within her that made her do it.
any person that will cheat just because someone did it before is a fool. do it because you want to/you need to but dont do it unwillingly just for spite/revenge.

\
1) So are u saying that to cheat on your partner can be a right thing or a wrong thing?

2) I know that if you dont cheat all your life, someone will come and cheat on you but do you necessarily have to follow what other people does especially on the bad part? Im sorry but I dont agree on this statement. I believe that if you know whats right and u do it even though the rest are not following, its still a big difference there.

3) Ok, I agree with your last statement but I feel that those whom cheats willingly are heartless and selfish. . . Just equivallent to a hard cold murderer!!


Ok, sorry, I got carried away. . . . .

1) [/b]absolutely!! it all depends on who you are with and what kind of relationship you are in.
- to the man who married the girl from his village to please his parent but who is UNHAPPY in his life then cheating is the only way to go, if in the bedroom he doesnt get what he longs for.
- when 2people stay a long period together, if they dont upgrade their bedroom repertoire, they will get tired of each other without falling out of love for each other. then down the line cheating will be the only way [b]if neither of them want to address the problem openly.
- when 2 people are together and the woman is no more sexually attractive to that man (or vice versa) then down the line the man will have only one option but to cheat if neither of them want to address the problem openly
some people cheat because they need something in their lives that they dont get at home but they are not strong enough to let their partner know for fear of hurting/loosing them or just because they know what kind of psycho they are with. it could be right or wrong depending on who you talking to.
what is right for some might not be what is right for other. do what YOU believe is right and live by it do not judge others because of what they BELIEVE in.

2) i dont understand the question but i think what you have to understand is that not all people cheat because they saw someone do it.
some might but other have different reason for cheating, some good, some bad, some "right" some wrong. what you have to do is do what is right for you(at the time), no one else, not even your spouse.

3) you cannot say that. you again have to look at each individual.
- if a man asks his wife for something in the bedroom and she refuses stating that SHE doesnt like it then she is right, but she shouldnt blame her husband if he goes and look for it from someone else. who is the selfish/heartless one in this picture? the wife could be seen as the selfish one who only want to care for her needs and not those of her spouse.
- if a woman marries a man for his money and status then she has to accept that she is just a "property" and therefore that man has all the rights to do what he pleases in this relationship. she might try to upgrade to thewife status but we all know what she really is and would ever be. is he selfish or heartless, i dont think so.
weakness and stupidity are the only 2 MAJOR reason why men cheat. of course some are selfish and heartless but you cannot put them all under that "umbrella"

hey dont worry, we are only sharing ideas, which is ok. remember, i am not saying that this is the ultimate right that everyone has to abide by, i am just trying to let you see how me (a man) looks at it.

MRbrownJAY:

3) you cannot say that. you again have to look at each individual.
- if a man asks his wife for something in the bedroom and she refuses stating that SHE doesnt like it then she is right, but she shouldnt blame her husband if he goes and look for it from someone else. who is the selfish/heartless one in this picture? the wife could be seen as the selfish one who only want to care for her needs and not those of her spouse.

I have come to realise that a man will cheat no matter how much sex you give to him, you can do everything for him but he will still cheat if he wants to. I hear your reasoning but there are men who just do it for the fun of it, they don't need a reason at all. All they need is an opportunity.

sexybabes:

I have come to realise that a man will cheat no matter how much sex you give to him, you can do everything for him but he will still cheat if he wants to. I hear your reasoning but there are men who just do it for the fun of it, they don't need a reason at all. All they need is an opportunity.

oh yeah, dont get me wrong, i am just giving some reason why a man would cheat, as i said previously on this thread:

men (and women) dont cheat because of a particular reason, some do it because they are at a weak point of their life, others because they are upset and want to get back at someone, others because of peer pressure, others because they think they will never get caught and it is available AND MY FAVORITE because they can and want to. in most marriages, people cheating dont do it with someone who is particularly "better"qualitywise  than their spouse but just because its different.

I still hold the strong believe

sexybabes:

I have come to realise that a man will cheat no matter how much sex you give to him, you can do everything for him but he will still cheat if he wants to. I hear your reasoning but there are men who just do it for the fun of it, they don't need a reason at all. All they need is an opportunity.

The most important thing one needs in a relationship is comfort. Now sex is not the ultimate goal of a relationship. but comfort and companionship. and i have seen countless of guys who doesn't pressure their girl about sex. because they are comfortable with their companionship. A girl can give a guy all the sex in this world with the best position she knowns and the guy still goes outside to cheat. while some are in a relationship that they do not have sex and known is bothered on cheating on each other. most women easily get tired of their guy and lose the fire they used in starting the relationship. same thing happens to me. but the ultimate question i ask is that must you cheat because your partner cheats?

chidipupay:

but the ultimate question i ask is that must you cheat because your partner cheats?

definitely not and whoever does that is a slowpoke.
on the other hand if sexual satisfaction is important to you then, after talking to your partner and understanding the problem, you should seek for a solution in a mature way.
some people might just live with it and dont bother about it while others might need/desire/want the satisfaction and therefore look for a solution.
there can be many solutions to this but ultimately one of them is to find someone with whom you can get the sexual satisfaction you require (it doesnt mean that you love your spouse any less), someone that can bring back the passion, the fire that you once had.

MRbrownJAY:

1) [/b]absolutely!! it all depends on who you are with and what kind of relationship you are in.
- to the man who married the girl from his village to please his parent but who is UNHAPPY in his life then cheating is the only way to go, if in the bedroom he doesnt get what he longs for.
- when 2people stay a long period together, if they dont upgrade their bedroom repertoire, they will get tired of each other without falling out of love for each other. then down the line cheating will be the only way [b]if neither of them want to address the problem openly.
- when 2 people are together and the woman is no more sexually attractive to that man (or vice versa) then down the line the man will have only one option but to cheat if neither of them want to address the problem openly
some people cheat because they need something in their lives that they dont get at home but they are not strong enough to let their partner know for fear of hurting/loosing them or just because they know what kind of psycho they are with. it could be right or wrong depending on who you talking to.
what is right for some might not be what is right for other. do what YOU believe is right and live by it do not judge others because of what they BELIEVE in.

2) i dont understand the question but i think what you have to understand is that not all people cheat because they saw someone do it.
some might but other have different reason for cheating, some good, some bad, some "right" some wrong. what you have to do is do what is right for you(at the time), no one else, not even your spouse.

3) you cannot say that. you again have to look at each individual.
- if a man asks his wife for something in the bedroom and she refuses stating that SHE doesnt like it then she is right, but she shouldnt blame her husband if he goes and look for it from someone else. who is the selfish/heartless one in this picture? the wife could be seen as the selfish one who only want to care for her needs and not those of her spouse.
- if a woman marries a man for his money and status then she has to accept that she is just a "property" and therefore that man has all the rights to do what he pleases in this relationship. she might try to upgrade to thewife status but we all know what she really is and would ever be. is he selfish or heartless, i dont think so.
weakness and stupidity are the only 2 MAJOR reason why men cheat. of course some are selfish and heartless but you cannot put them all under that "umbrella"

hey dont worry, we are only sharing ideas, which is ok. remember, i am not saying that this is the ultimate right that everyone has to abide by, i am just trying to let you see how me (a man) looks at it.

Jay, just reading your posts seriously makes me feel that this earth is filled with all sorts of people and the results from that post seemed really bad. . . Guess in life, I nver thought of all these things on how would I be with my partner.

My bf and I have been best friends for 2 years and have been dating for 4 years and come to think of it. U are right about certain things. When you are open to your partner, u are able to know and find out what is both of your mistakes. I use to eat alot and alot without realizing that Im getting fatter nad fatter untill my bf told me to stop and he did not realize that having slightly longer dreadlocks ould makehim look like a gorrila because of his short neck. Things like that. . .

When we first started dating, I told him not to touch me (no sex, no touch, nothing) its because I was trying to get over my past but soon he told me that he was gettingfrustrated cause he was unable to touch me at least. I than tried to learn how to do MouthAction. For some, its bad but what else can I do? SHould I let him go through this for 4 years straight? If I were a mna, I know I wouldn't want that! So its just that I had to at least give him something to slighly clear his frustration. He than told me that although its not sex, but he was g;ad that I was willing to make some move and sacrifices.

He doesnt like sugar but unfortunately my familuy always cooks food containing sugar and he had to just eaqt it once in awhile when we visit my parents.

I guess in a relationship, both had to tolerate, be honest and try to make a change for each others sake. And above all of that, they should be trust.

chidipupay:

I still hold the strong believe
The most important thing one needs in a relationship is comfort. Now sex is not the ultimate goal of a relationship. but comfort and companionship. and i have seen countless of guys who doesn't pressure their girl about sex. because they are comfortable with their companionship. A girl can give a guy all the sex in this world with the best position she knowns and the guy still goes outside to cheat. while some are in a relationship that they do not have sex and known is bothered on cheating on each other. most women easily get tired of their guy and lose the fire they used in starting the relationship. same thing happens to me. but the ultimate question i ask is that must you cheat because your partner cheats?

Militant!!!!!

smetimes i do stumble on my bf's lappy, i just scroll thru his updates on fb jst to check up sme interestin stuffs, and i do that both in presence and absence but goin thru his inbox and sent mgs, i dont do that,