Lolia246:
Well for me,i think your girlfriend loves you

No, she doesn't...Please go back and read the post very well.

She's just a smart lady who recognizes that he his a good guy!

Simple and short !

keyman0007:


bro planning a marriage takes a while, counselling alone in our church is 6 months.

I have said it before i dont mind her going after we get married as long as her father is willing to sponsor her.

stop trying to explain to him/her, you don't owe anyone that and understanding is quite difficult for the dumb... your babe clearly is not ready to settle, she is leaving the shores of the country for crying out loud, she will meet a lot of suitors there so I think she is being political here, maybe she has seen some qualities she will like in a husband in you so she wants you in check in case she doesn't meet a better option there, my advice is to do whatever you think is right for you now cause your girl is clearly thinking about what is good for her.

moshino:
@OP

Are you marrying because you're 28, and you and your folks believe that's the 'age' to marry, or are you marrying because you are mentally, emotionally and financially ready? Are you mentally, emotionally and financially ready to handle the dynamics, difficulties and challenges of marriage?

As for the girl in question, I can assure you 100%, she's NOT yet ready for marriage, if you stop her from going for her MBA overseas as she intends doing, she'll blame you everyday of your married life.

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I've been married for 10 years, and I can tell you, its not a joke, ko easy ra ra o! All the novelty and excitement of the idea of being married to this your 'tomato Jos' will wear off in 6-12months, and you'll meet the thing called 'Life, Real Life', and if you're not mentally, emotionally and financially ready, you'll hate your life.

They dont understand when we say "emotionally and financially READY". They think its a joke. My friend that married and went to honeymoon in two countries was "blessed" win twins. Now, his hair is like a rasta. I think he is losing his mind. You go buy petrol and diesel tire to keep house cool for babies. Come buy SMA Gold and cartons of pampers, handle DTSV and electric bills and pay salaries of nannies and cleaners, then enter real game of families...LOL, no be joke.

moshino:
@OP

Are you marrying because you're 28, and you and your folks believe that's the 'age' to marry, or are you marrying because you are mentally, emotionally and financially ready? Are you mentally, emotionally and financially ready to handle the dynamics, difficulties and challenges of marriage?

As for the girl in question, I can assure you 100%, she's NOT yet ready for marriage, if you stop her from going for her MBA overseas as she intends doing, she'll blame you everyday of your married life.

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I've been married for 10 years, and I can tell you, its not a joke, ko easy ra ra o! All the novelty and excitement of the idea of being married to this your 'tomato Jos' will wear off in 6-12months, and you'll meet the thing called 'Life, Real Life', and if you're not mentally, emotionally
and financially ready, you'll hate your life.

This is d best response so far, the reason why marriages don't last more than a year this age is not far from this.
OP, either way u will be d loser, so I just u let her go and look for a more matured lady. Chikena

All this men...after bleeping 25..26...27...28...years old lady times without number.they wI'll now decide to go for fresh young ones...for marriage.God is watching all if you.22 is not ready for marriage bro...go and look for 25 or 26 even 27. Or your age mate.they are ready for u nownow.

Don't know how people develop feelings as if its it has an ON/OFF mode. Well am surprised she is not happy about marriage. The 21,22,23,24 gals around me are dieing to get married.

keyman0007:


bro planning a marriage takes a while, counselling alone in our church is 6 months.

I have said it before i dont mind her going after we get married as long as her father is willing to sponsor her.

Bro, my take is why don't you call this as a meeting especially with her parents also involve your parents too. My view is that she is career concious and doesn't want to lose you. But what if after the commitment she goes out there and misbehaves and you have no choice to manage her. It's either she chooses her marriage or career. You need both parents advices.

Dear OP, that girl is still a babe that wants to flex small. Besides, isn't 22 a bit too young? Not that I've not seen nor heard of ladies getting married at such age but later, the story is "he didn't even allow me enjoy my singlehood" and from what you wrote about her, sorry to say this, she isn't mature enuf to go into marriage. Let her be!


And, she is not your fiancee yet, just a girlfriend.

Sometimes I wonder if common sense is so elusive. You come online and see the most stupid people trying to tell others how stupid they are and willing to continue in stupidity.

@28 and 22, marriage.mtchewwww

u be xtian brother sha, 2 years no kiss..ehehehehehehhe. ...hope d gal no dy sharperly do the thing somewhere else sha.

jopretty:
Dear OP, that girl is still a babe that wants to flex small. Besides, isn't 22 a bit too young? Not that I've not seen nor heard of ladies getting married at such age but later, the story is "he didn't even allow me enjoy my singlehood" and from what you wrote about her, sorry to say this, she isn't mature enuf to go into marriage. Let her be!


And, she is not your fiancee yet, just a girlfriend.

she is not even his girl, he's living in fool's paradise.

dare2differ:


He doesn't want her to leave after marriage

I don't understand him.

Are you married? Have you lived away from your wife for a year or two before?

Do you know how many people go abroad to study and then decide to get work experience first AND eventually decide not to come back at all?

After some years in the West, this kind of indecisive girl will change her mind again.

She would probably start dictating to the guy: come abroad or forget the marriage.

if they would already have a child before she goes, it would be a different thing.

Move on dude. Let her sort her education out first.

nonstan:

D way una de take gv complete answers to topics in nairaland these days is annoying...try answer small so other people fit follow u answer...stop given summary to things abeg... Mk others contribute

Lols. Advice taken

Atlantian:


They dont understand when we say "emotionally and financially READY". The think its a joke. My friend that married and went to honeymoon in two countries was "blessed" win twins. Now, his hair is like a rasta. I think he is losing his mind. You go buy petrol and diesel tire to keep house cool for babies. Come buy SMA Gold and cartons of Napkin, handle DTSV and electric bills and pay salaries of nannies and cleaners, then enter real game of families...LOL, no be joke.

Loool Let me tell u a short story. A friend of bro left a gal when she was pestering him for marriage. The guy said he is not emotionally equipped for marriage even if there is money they still need to be tread softly. The babe got married to a guy few months later. Exactly a year later the babe has turned to 'adelebo' raise to power 1. My point is age and money is not a criteria for marriage.

smileysmiley:
stop trying to explain to him/her, you don't owe anyone that and understanding is quite difficult for the dumb... your babe clearly is not ready to settle, she is leaving the shores of the country for crying out loud, she will meet a lot of suitors there so I think she is being political here, maybe she has seen some qualities she will like in a husband in you so she wants you in check in case she doesn't meet a better option there, my advice is to do whatever you think is right for you now cause your girl is clearly thinking about what is good for her.

I laugh at the statement made bold..my sister, it's not always so o especially for African immigrants unless you wanna become a baby mamma...guys abroad are not smiling at all!

OP, the girl is just 22 for crying out loud. If she wants to do her masters, by all means allow her.

Break off the relationship for both your own good because if you marry like this, both of you will not be happy.

She is still young sef, so she shouldn't be in a hurry to marry. Marriage changes things and she might resent you if her career is put on hold as a result of getting married.

Some men would wait, some wouldnt mind getting married and letting her go abroad for her studies but as this is not what she wants then, you said it yourself. If both of you are single after she is done, fine then.

She can't have her cake and eat it too, she should choose between the marriage and the masters.

Besides OP, are you really, double sure you are also ready for marriage? You are only twenty eight.

You are just a dunce. Leave the girl alone! She has future ambition and you don't. But wait, you never taste the thing?

keyman0007:

Why do ladies like to pretend to be confused, when in the actual sense they know what they are doing, and what they want. It jut so annoying.

So this year i raise the marriage thing with my lady and she is like she wants to go for masters, that i should come see her parents then we do an introduction of some kind and she leaves, I told her a masters in the UK will mean i will wait till December 2017 to get married if she goes to a UK school and maybe 2018 if its a US or canadian school. I told her i am not trying to tie her career down, that why doesnt she go to LBS, since its an MBA she wants to do. I also discussed with my folks who are also desperate and they were like i should forget her she isnt the only lady in the world. what the guarantee if she goes she will not see someone else.

Sha i pulled out of the relationship and began to search again. only for her to come back and say she is sorry, she has reflected about every and that she is ready for marriage. Cos i liked her i dumped all other female admirers i had began to develop relationships with . I told her again about the LBS master and even told her that i am willing to allow her go do her masters oversees after we get married long as her dad will be willing to pay. Or if God blesses me i can sponsor it. She said she is ready for marriage even if i proposed today.


Sha with her change in position i decided to go see her parents in Lagos, the dad was receptive but the mum seem abit tough, wanted to knw what i did for a living and dall that. I then go see her uncle in Abj. I also told my folks she is having a rethink on the masters thing, that soften my parents. I then invited her to my place. She met my parents they really like her. she also met my siblings as well. My father even called her dad self and they seem to have started getting along.

Only for this babe to begin to say she will submit her school application to fulfill all righteousness. Then 2 days back she says i need to go see her folks to make my intentions. Then she is like she thinks she shd go for her masters now and brought the whole introduction story up again. That we should do introduction and then she travels. I told her i think she is trying to trap me, she is trying to trap me, We have been in a relationship for 2 year no kisses, no sex we even rarely hug. i am 28 she is 22. It is either she goes for her masters and then if she is still single when she returns am i also still single then we get married. It is nt heard of, in my culture. She is not even considering doing it in LBS.

We are not talking at the moment.
I am thinking of a way to break this news to my folks. cause they have already started seeing her as my wife.
I have told her i wont move an inch further in the relationship if she cant tell me what indeed her plan her.
it is either she goes overseas or does it in Nigeria and if it is overseas am nt giving any commitment.[/font]

IT just so annoying.

keyman0007:


bro did you read this at all? or you just schemed through?

how does someone do marriage and immediately go do masters? hw feasible is it?

We hv suggested her going to Lagos Business school, she can get her MBA there. that what i said she blantly refused.

I don't seem to get the bold part. Why must she go to Lagos Business School if she has a school of her choice? Are you marrying for yourself or your family as I do not understand why your folks will decide what you should do if she chooses to go to school now. I think not putting this in the right perspective could be a cause of concern to her and those she confides in as what it might mean to some is that you are not yet ready since you are still been controlled by your family.
My advice is that you both need to sit down and talk things out. You might have to let her understand you are not against her furthering her education and you will have to drop the idea of Lagos Business School as well. Let her see reasons with you that you believe this is the time for you both to get married and she can then go to school some time in the future. You might want to school her on the fact that many top business schools prefer people who have some work experience as that helps with relating the class to the business world. This I believe is a good reason to pursue her MBA later in the future.
Lastly, when the time come for her to go to school, please be very supportive as she can get frustrated if you choose to deny her of her dream and that can make you a miserable person in marriage.

Taryur3:
All this men...after bleeping 25..26...27...28...years old lady times without number.they wI'll now decide to go for fresh young ones...for marriage.God is watching all if you.22 is not ready for marriage bro...go and look for 25 or 26 even 27. Or your age mate.they are ready for u nownow.

What is fresh in 21 years old these days?

Some begin doing it at 14. Is 6 or 7 years on the "odometer" fresh?

It's not about fresh or not, it's about chemistry/compatibility.

OP that bae wants you as her spare tyre so that if her main tyre get bursted she can always fix you in. At 22? Hmmmmm

moshino:
@OP

Are you marrying because you're 28, and you and your folks believe that's the 'age' to marry, or are you marrying because you are mentally, emotionally and financially ready? Are you mentally, emotionally and financially ready to handle the dynamics, difficulties and challenges of marriage?

As for the girl in question, I can assure you 100%, she's NOT yet ready for marriage, if you stop her from going for her MBA overseas as she intends doing, she'll blame you everyday of your married life.

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I've been married for 10 years, and I can tell you, its not a joke, ko easy ra ra o! All the novelty and excitement of the idea of being married to this your 'tomato Jos' will wear off in 6-12months, and you'll meet the thing called 'Life, Real Life', and if you're not mentally, emotionally and financially ready, you'll hate your life.

Oga, I mean no disrespect but since the op said he is ready why did we have to put age to the test. Nobody I repeat, nobody even you can say he has a perfect marriage. Marriage I believe is a responsiblity you have to take it. You are married for 10years and still you don't feel you need to encourage an upcoming to do so. In other words are you trying to say you feel like quitting your romantic blessed marriage. Encouragement is what I expect from people like you. Marriage is likened to our universities now, each day you face new challenge but as a goal getter you scale through, you buy hand outs, make photocopies, pay rents, sort some course if need be. After all this will you tell an undergraduate never to try going to school.

I rest my case.

Blackops:

Loool Let me tell u a short story. A friend of bro left a gal when she was pestering him for marriage. The guy said he is not emotionally equipped for marriage even if there is money they still need to be tread softly. The babe got married to a guy few months later. Exactly a year later the babe has turned to 'adelebo' raise to power 1. My point is age and money is not a criteria for marriage.

I have come to the conclusion that many of the men getting married, thought its all sex and romance. They dont know that when the shit hits the ceiling, dicks dont rise...LOL

Nigayoyo:


I laugh at the statement made bold..my sister, it's not always so o especially for African immigrants unless you wanna become a baby mamma...guys abroad are not smiling at all!

but it is quite clear that the girl in question thinks so, she is keeping the ground open in case of in casities

Atlantian:


They dont understand when we say "emotionally and financially READY". They think its a joke. My friend that married and went to honeymoon in two countries was "blessed" win twins. Now, his hair is like a rasta. I think he is losing his mind. You go buy petrol and diesel tire to keep house cool for babies. Come buy SMA Gold and cartons of pampams, handle DTSV and electric bills and pay salaries of nannies and cleaners, then enter real game of families...LOL, no be joke.

Lol ... your head dey there comrade!

Guy i was in the same exact situation. Mine was she wanted to go and study medicine in ukraine after her first degree.
what did i do . I dumped her ASS. U see 22 yr olds have not seen anything in life. They are still in daddy give me, mummy give me. Their brain still dey jump with ideas flowing through them on per second billing. I doubt if that your girl has even gone 4 NYSC.
Part with her on good terms., wish her well cos i doubt if she can stay away for 2 years without meeting other suitors. Look for ladies 24 to 27 who don know say life no be moi- moi.
On my story 1. She didnt go to ukraine again. 2. She entered for medicine in ESUT 3. She got married became pregnant while studying medcine had to drop.

AreaFada2:

Are you married? Have you lived away from your wife for a year or two before?

Do you know how many people go abroad to study and then decide to get work experience first AND eventually decided not to come back at all?

After some years in the West, this kind of indecisive girl will change her mind again.

She would probably start dictating to the guy: come abroad or forget the marriage.

if they would already have a child before she goes, it would be a different thing.

Move on dude. Let her sort her education out first.

If they got married, she would come back

I meet married and newly weds almost every time, so what are you talking about?


I don't think she is indecisive. I think she doesn't want to lose him. She is trying to balance both!
besides this should serve a lesson to guys that go for young girls

This babe fit stress u when Una don marry o! Her back and forth attitude is an issue of great concen! In summary move on my guy!

Atlantian:
I have come to the conclusion that many of the men getting married, thoughts its all sex and romance. They dont know that when the shit hits the ceiling, dicks dont rise...LOL

Most times when I visit my married sisters... (and I have 4 of them) a sort of shivering runs through me when I see there husband get bamboozled by demands. Am always like So help us God. *sighs

gohzieh:



Oga, I mean no disrespect but since the op said he is ready why did we have to put age to the test. Nobody I repeat, nobody even you can say he has a perfect marriage. Marriage I believe is a responsiblity you have to take it. You are married for 10years and still you don't feel you need to encourage an upcoming to do so. In other words are you trying to say you feel like quitting your romantic blessed marriage. Encouragement is what I expect from people like you. Marriage is likened to our universities now, each day you face new challenge but as a goal getter you scale through, you buy hand outs, make photocopies, pay rents, sort some course if need be. After all this will you tell an undergraduate never to try going to school.

I rest my case.

You obviously did not fully comprehend what the OP wrote, and my response. Enjoy your day!

* testing microphone 1,2,1,2*

Op the girl is confused and doesn't know what she wants.you better move on




*drops mic*



Plays justin beiber and Sean Kingston music

Shawty is a minie minie Manimo lover-3x
Please don't waste my time-3x
Please make up your mind-3x


You need to listen to that song op

No girl is worth dying for bro just leave her alone and hook another afterall there are many of them out there looking for such opportunity.

moshino:


You obviously did not fully comprehend what the OP wrote, and my response. Enjoy your day!

Ofcourse I did my oga. But I think in a way you were discouraging him maybe cos he is 28 years that's why I felt concerned too