keyman0007:


bro did you read this at all? or you just schemed through?

how does someone do marriage and immediately go do masters? hw feasible is it?

We hv suggested her going to Lagos Business school, she can get her MBA there. that what i said she blantly refused.

It's possible. I left for my masters 3 months after marriage with an 8 week pregnancy. I had our baby during the one year programme. If she really wants you, she should consider getting married first.

But honestly I think she's rather too young to be serious about marriage.

keyman0007:



I started this talk last year and we had a big fight on it already.

but bros you mean i shd wait 2 years for her?

Introduction still means no sex, kisses.

how is a man of 28 year who is sexually active suppose to hold himself for like 2 years



I stopped seeing other ladies all for her. it is nt as easy as you think it is.

Even being in a distance relationship is painful enough.

I'm beginning to think that girl will be better off without you. You seem to believe that you're doing her a favour by accepting a no-sex relationship whereas, that's the ideal thing until you both get married. Please, leave her to pursue her dreams. On the issue of sex or no sex, I'll advise you get a lady that shares the same belief with you.

Walelavender:
Common this girl is young. Let her pursue the dream of her heart. Getting trapped at that age in marriage limits her capacity to explore. Marriage is a massive commitment. She isnt ready obviously. You are 28, can't you wait till 30? That's the conventional age for men Besides she would have garnered more life experience after her MSc
Make that sacrifice or let her go!

Bro i think i hv waited enough, finished uni when i was 20 did nysc 21, masters 22 and i hv worked for 5 years now, this year i will be 28.

Jadekitana:
Well I think your babe isn't ready for marriage yet, she still wants to explore. @28 I feel u still too young to settle down o, except u very comfortable! Why not wait till 30 or 31, then she's gonna be 25 and done with masters. The rush is too much! Or u scared someone else is gonna take her? Be smart o.

Am nt so comfortable, but i think i earn enough to be able to live well and raise a family plus i have been working for over five years now.

Did I hear u say no sex...u don't kiss n rearly hug.....oboy shine Ur eye and use Ur head...if u ask me...na mugu you be
....

keyman0007:


Am nt so comfortable, but i think i earn enough to be able to live well and raise a family plus i have been working for over five years now.

Then chill, 2 or 3 years wouldn't make you fall out of love if really you guys are so much into yourselves. Obviously she ain't just ready to be caged yet!

you are right, however masters starts in september, i can only start counting down after then which is roughly 2 years

dare2differ:


You keep giving us a one-sided view

You seem to be more concerned about the sex part than what her own personal and professional advancement

Masters is usually a year programme

dare2differ:
keyman0007

Why don't you want her to go for her masters? If she were your wife, would you also refuse her?

What is stopping you from doing the introduction even wedding sef and continue with the rest when she is back?


I don't understand you people o

dont take dis personal: but wen u marry urs u can allow her travel overseas to do master n even to PhD before she come back. Why marry a woman n b living lik a bachelor again? Op if she rili wana to go do her masters abroad, allow her go and look for a lady dt is frm 25yrs n above start sometin serious. This ur 22yrs old girl is nt yet matured for marriage, becos she is still allowing her parents to control her.

keyman0007:


Bro i think i hv waited enough, finished uni when i was 20 did nysc 21, masters 22 and i hv worked for 5 years now, this year i will be 28.

Sincerely I empathize with you. The emotional gap could be very expressive on you. However, meeting a new lady requires getting to know her for a handful of time before hooking up on the altar. So do a comparison. She loves you. True love waits. Don't be in a hurry to settle down with the wrong lady. Desperados are everywhere.

keyman0007:
you are right, however masters starts in september, i can only start counting down after then which is roughly 2 years

How is it 2 years? What course? Which of the unis?#

Either way, it is for the good of both of you.

jabojafa:
dont take dis personal: but wen u marry urs u can allow her travel overseas to do master n even to PhD before she come back. Why marry a woman n b living lik a bachelor again? Op if she rili wana to go do her masters abroad, allow her go and look for a lady dt is frm 25yrs n above start sometin serious. This ur 22yrs old girl is nt yet matured for marriage, becos she is still allowing her parents to control her.

When you marry, lock your wife in the bedroom because you are no longer a bachelor

By the way I don't argue with cave men.

Swerve!

Why do we always like to turn a blind eye to reality? You know the answer deep down in your heart yet you want embrace the lie. Isn't it obvious to you that you are the only one in love and in haste to marry a lady that isn't ready for marriage yet? She hasn't really lived her life to the fullest and experienced life. You can't deny her of that. If you force it, you will surely cry tomorrow. However, if you are so desperate to get married, reach out to ladies that are ready in mind body and soul. When you meet ladies that are ready to settle down you will recognize them. Of course you have intuition to guide you. If you insist on the said lady, the marriage may be on her terms while you have to endure all through. Dem nor dey use money take buy wahala.
Sword is enough.

keyman0007:

Why do ladies like to pretend to be confused, when in the actual sense they know what they are doing, and what they want. It jut so annoying.

So this year i raise the marriage thing with my lady and she is like she wants to go for masters, that i should come see her parents then we do an introduction of some kind and she leaves, I told her a masters in the UK will mean i will wait till December 2017 to get married if she goes to a UK school and maybe 2018 if its a US or canadian school. I told her i am not trying to tie her career down, that why doesnt she go to LBS, since its an MBA she wants to do. I also discussed with my folks who are also desperate and they were like i should forget her she isnt the only lady in the world. what the guarantee if she goes she will not see someone else.

Sha i pulled out of the relationship and began to search again. only for her to come back and say she is sorry, she has reflected about every and that she is ready for marriage. Cos i liked her i dumped all other female admirers i had began to develop relationships with . I told her again about the LBS master and even told her that i am willing to allow her go do her masters oversees after we get married long as her dad will be willing to pay. Or if God blesses me i can sponsor it. She said she is ready for marriage even if i proposed today.


Sha with her change in position i decided to go see her parents in Lagos, the dad was receptive but the mum seem abit tough, wanted to knw what i did for a living and dall that. I then go see her uncle in Abj. I also told my folks she is having a rethink on the masters thing, that soften my parents. I then invited her to my place. She met my parents they really like her. she also met my siblings as well. My father even called her dad self and they seem to have started getting along.

Only for this babe to begin to say she will submit her school application to fulfill all righteousness. Then 2 days back she says i need to go see her folks to make my intentions. Then she is like she thinks she shd go for her masters now and brought the whole introduction story up again. That we should do introduction and then she travels. I told her i think she is trying to trap me, she is trying to trap me, We have been in a relationship for 2 year no kisses, no sex we even rarely hug. i am 28 she is 22. It is either she goes for her masters and then if she is still single when she returns am i also still single then we get married. It is nt heard of, in my culture. She is not even considering doing it in LBS.

We are not talking at the moment.
I am thinking of a way to break this news to my folks. cause they have already started seeing her as my wife.
I have told her i wont move an inch further in the relationship if she cant tell me what indeed her plan her.
it is either she goes overseas or does it in Nigeria and if it is overseas am nt giving any commitment.[/font]

IT just so annoying.

She is 22 n u are 28 yet ur body dey do u gidigidi.I like d babe style sha.cus she no want mek u ruin her fun life.she still young n nt ready to b call mrs lagbaja.dude free d babe mek she go do her tin cme bk.if she is urs.den she is urs.if she aint urs she cnt never b urs.bt if ur body till dey do gidigidi to marry no p u cn go out der n catch anoda fish.ur babe aint ready n scare for her mind nw she never still see mr right.

Well! She is not yet ready for wedding. Yet she is caught in between 2 life time decisions. It's left to you to know what exactly you want! If you can wait then do and reason along with her! And if you can't let go. She is thinking of the prestige of studying abroad and you might not knw probably her parents has made it clear not to sponsor that after marriage.

keyman0007:



How come you say this? i suggested she did an MBA in lagos business school, it is her that is selfish.

if she goes she is actualizing every and hooking me down.

and what's wrong with her hooking you down she's doing it becuase she loves you am sure her parents are insisting she goes abroad you sound like you are in a Christian relationship so I will advice you to let her travel and pursue her dreams so she can be happy wait for her if you can if you can't let her be but don't cry later in future that you missed a good woman and besides even if she goes dere as a married woman she can still cheat and leave you so let her fly dude just keep loving and praying for her no biggy

dare2differ:


When you marry, lock your wife in the bedroom because you are no longer a bachelor

By the way I don't argue with cave men.

Swerve!

silence is golden.

She's yet to decided what her priority is. I can see some third party tossing her left and right. Be warned, this may continue into the marriage.

My candid opinion, she is not ready for marriage and it won't enter her head till 26-27. Do you want to gamble the next 4 years?

(Yes, it's not just the next 2 years of MBA).

keyman0007:


Bro i think i hv waited enough, finished uni when i was 20 did nysc 21, masters 22 and i hv worked for 5 years now, this year i will be 28.

You both seem to have thesame progression, she wants her Masters too ( and a little work experience).
My question remain, are you ready to risk 4 years?

dunsin125:
haha bros......op is 28yrs old na

you read my post so?,,,he has already taken the right decision na by wanting to break up so the babe wnt trap him dwn, hence he wants marriage asap...and i'm assuming if the girl travels overseas for her masters and comes back and meet the dude single, they can still trade tackles, dnt you think?...cos from what i deduce here, the girl has trust issues but the guy is looking @his age instead of him to hustle for an income first, even if it's not much but @least a stable one.

oyetunji12:
Bros let me start bysayin u 4k up ooooo if u @ 28 is followin a 22yrs babe hw old do u xpect ur younga 1ce of 24-25yrs shold follow?........abeg free d babe she still wen enjoy ha career nd youth b4 she cum dey bear 1 MRS title

22yrs is understatement. 22-2=19yrs. What it means is that they started dating @19. She may be a graduate, but her brain (from what he said) is still young for marriage.

AreaFada2:


What is fresh in 21 years old these days?

Some begin doing it at 14. Is 6 or 7 years on the "odometer" fresh?

It's not about fresh or not, it's about chemistry/compatibility.

Lols...6 or 7 miles as odometer on a car is brand new bro.Well you got it right it's about chemistry and compatibility. May God have mercy on this generation.husband scarce die...woman plenty buh no wife material.since I broke up av been searching and never find my taste still they move around me buh having trust issue with dem all.tell the Op to go for the matured ones though

Best advice so far... Pls Op I have been in this position before, although I was the one going for my masters, the girl I was dating for a month then told me that she can't bear the rigors of long distance relationship and we broke it off. I still had like two girls but I didn't end up with any of them. I met my present wife when she was at her final year in med school. She told me I have to wait till she finishes horsemanship... Believe me waiting for a year sounded like eternity but it was through the advice of a big brother that helped me pull through.

I got myself buried with work (construction), went for lawn tennis games and others just to stay focused because deep down I knew she was the one for me. The rest is now history. If I didnt allow her to complete her studies... I would have seen the worst in her because when you are her husband you will wield a certain level of control on her which may affect her studies.

Bottom line... If you really like her, allow her to go. Just don't promise her marriage... Just tell her both of you are just free to mingle. At 28, except you are the first born, you are still young, just take it easy, marriage lasts for a life time. Like in the quote.... A lot of maturity is needed in marriage. Let your girl get that exposure... There are no husbands abroad per se. Lol she will soon realize that.... Cheers

Nb: Make sure she gets the MBA in the UK it just about 11 months

moshino:
@OP

Are you marrying because you're 28, and you and your folks believe that's the 'age' to marry, or are you marrying because you are mentally, emotionally and financially ready? Are you mentally, emotionally and financially ready to handle the dynamics, difficulties and challenges of marriage?

As for the girl in question, I can assure you 100%, she's NOT yet ready for marriage, if you stop her from going for her MBA overseas as she intends doing, she'll blame you everyday of your married life.

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I've been married for 10 years, and I can tell you, its not a joke, ko easy ra ra o! All the novelty and excitement of the idea of being married to this your 'tomato Jos' will wear off in 6-12months, and you'll meet the thing called 'Life, Real Life', and if you're not mentally, emotionally and financially ready, you'll hate your life.

wetin this one dey talk

oyetunji12:
Bros let me start bysayin u 4k up ooooo if u @ 28 is followin a 22yrs babe hw old do u xpect ur younga 1ce of 24-25yrs shold follow?........abeg free d babe she still wen enjoy ha career nd youth b4 she cum dey bear 1 MRS title

wetin this one dey talk

oyetunji12:
Bros let me start bysayin u 4k up ooooo if u @ 28 is followin a 22yrs babe hw old do u xpect ur younga 1ce of 24-25yrs shold follow?........abeg free d babe she still wen enjoy ha career nd youth b4 she cum dey bear 1 MRS title

Most ladies in dat age range still wanna xplore life...guy, look for someone else

You marry her and you still want her folks to pay for her masters abroad...what nerve. You want free ready made wife.

dachaste:

D babe is just 22? My dear d tins running tru d heads of most 22's are crazy.

U sure d gal is ready to be tied down?


Truth is she don wanna loose u yet she's not ready for marriage



Shikena

You hear keyman0007

Truth is, by 25years she will be ready to settle down. 22years is quite young! And she loves you and does not wanna loose you!Aaaaaaaaw

crismark:
it's a pity

ofcoz n so unfortunate

Arsenate:
what do you mean by he and his family are being wicked to her? The young man allowed her to go and do her masters only for her to come back and say she was ready for marriage. Few months later she starts acting up.
She wants masters, good, let her go and get it.
The man wants to get married, she should allow him to get married.
I don't see any act of wickedness here.
You ladies are always emotional

If the tables we're turned, would you say this? If he got a job or opportunity to study abroad and can not afford to marry her now or take her for 6years or more to be with him and she says no, I can get you a job here in naija, though it won't pay as much but our famy will be together. If he came here to cry, will you not say the woman is an enemy of progress? If she can wait till he can bring her why can't the maa wait till she returns. The way he is rushing this marriage sef as if his life depends on it. She is 22 and can afford to stay a few more years pursuing and achieving her goals before marriage. He is not ready for marriage. To marry and she can only go if her dad sponsors her? Then leave her in her dads house let him sponsor her to what ever heights she chooses to reach. It is quite sad I do not know that girl. She is probably too love blind to see the llight hence she returned to beg him. She will meet many good men in future she should move on. Marriage is not a joke.

adozie:
You marry her and you still want her folks to pay for her masters abroad...what nerve. You want free ready made wife.

God bless you. The guy Na still small pikin for mind. That girl should leave him if you ask me.

I would advise u allow her go...if she is urs, nothing will stop u from being together... Let her to avoid being blamed for life

@ crismark abeggie, I got married before my 20th birthday this dec would be making us 6yrs in marriage, so you think from 26yrs is the right yr to marry as a woman?
Op, forget about her she's not ready for marriage she want to build a career first but if you think you can Wait for her so be it. But Wait una never Kiss better Kiss? Lol

Am a lady,its really show that she is not ready 4u per say,her thought is wen she get 2 abroad she can get a better guy,while u are here with empty introduction waiting 4her.pls go n start a new relationship.God help u.