Possessive boyfriends are deadly. They can be deadly to themselves, the partner involved and as such the relationship is a ticking time bomb. Possessiveness in a relationship is tied to some psychological factors and most possessive relationships are like a master-slave relationship.

About three years ago, there was this guy who was dating a certain girl but the relationship was a possessive/controlling one. The guy controlled who she could talk to, who she could greet, what she could wear and so on. He always wanted her in his sight. It got so bad that this girl and the guy were walking down the street one day, they met a friend of mine. The girl had to make a signal to my friend to walk past them as if they didn’t know each other. At night, this girl would call my friend to lament she was fed up of the relationship. One day, she told him she was quitting the relationship. She did it face-to-face. That is what adults do. She then left his house that day. The guy, obviously distraught, started flooding her phone with text messages which she ignored. At this time, she was updating my friend with full details.

However, two text messages stood out. The first text indicated that he was going to commit suicide. She ignored it too. Later the second one came in which indicated that he was in pains and dying. With doubts and yet not leaving anything to chance, she rushed to his house only to find him bleeding and gushing out whitish stuff from his mouth. He had drunk the popular pesticide Sniper. She shouted for help and the neighbours came in to find his dying body. They pinned the incidence on her. This is the reason many people don’t help accident victims in Nigeria. Well, back to the story, she advocated for her innocence meanwhile he was being rushed to the hospital. The guy’s family came around and said if the guy dies, they would hold her responsible.

On the third day, he died. The family of the deceased made the arrest but in the process, she made a call to my friend, the narrator of this story. He met her at the police station and they starting discussing the cause of events to the police. The Nigerian police, as usual, don’t really care so much. They didn’t bother to make further enquiries since grieving family members had made an arrest, then they must be right. It was a lot of trouble getting around the case but the girl had told my friend she received a message from the deceased which he (my friend) had warned her not to delete. It was this time that the message was useful. She explained to the police that she had received a text from the deceased. They demanded to see it. In short, that was how the case was dropped. Presently, she still trying to pick up the pieces of her life because such experience is a traumatizing one.

This is a classic example of how a possessive/controlling relationship could end. What a tragedy! Many people are in these types of relationships. I don’t have a scientific data but I feel ladies are more victims of these types of relationship as men tend to be the controlling ones. How do you manage a break from a controlling/possessive relationship?

A revered policeman once said “you’re your first line of defence”. Your first line of defence in this type of relationship is that you make reliable people aware of the state of the relationship. I said “reliable”. It is not enough to have people told, it is when you inform reliable people. People who could comfort and stand by you through thick and thin. From the story, imagine if my friend had not been reliable or had not stepped up to support her, I’m sure she would be in jail by now—in Nigeria, it doesn’t take much time for that to happen. Also make sure your own family members know about the relationship. NEVER keep a controlling/possessive secret. When its tragedy happens, the police won’t care.
By the time you start noticing some tendencies of maniac controlling, start archiving messages, emails and record conversions during an argument. DO NOT DELETE ANY. If the lady had deleted those messages she received in the last moments probably due to anger, she would be behind bars. Keep a cool head at this time. On any day of an argument, keep record. If need be keep a diary with dates and locations.

Lastly, I believe most controlling relationships do involve being physical sometimes, report to the police. You decide not to make an arrest but let them be aware of what you are going through. Most importantly, quit the relationship early.
There may be no foolproof approach to managing a possessive relationship but I’m sure some of the above tips will help.

Saucepan: https://nifemiolu..com.ng/2016/05/how-to-safely-breakup-with.html

Who go read all this wan ....make I enter yaba...

OP, from what I know, paragraphs haven't hurt anyone before, maybe you should try them, will make your article easier to read.

Abeg talk to her

sweetcocoa:
OP, from what I know, paragraphs haven't hurt anyone before, maybe you should try them, will make your article easier to read.

sweetcocoa:
OP, from what I know, paragraphs haven't hurt anyone before, maybe you should try them, will make your article easier to read.

Paragraphs are there but if you mean block paragraphs, I'd do that.

What a message for those that can take their time to read it,the good and recent example is the case of Lekan who killed his wife.

Op is definitely right....

I have been in one too, and sometimes it's hard to run, he even threatened to kill himself and I was scared. Finally finally, when I went home, with encouragement from nairalanders, friends and sister, I broke up with him and I thank God I did it at home, far away from him, who knows he would have stabbed or slapped me
Just today on Facebook, he is celebrating his new chick. Life goes on oh

I celebrate my freedom and I personally will leave any restraining relationship, even if it means I will be single till I die

Being in a possessive relationship is extremely dangerous. When the signs start presenting itself, I believe the affected partner should fight it head on. Do not settle for it and do not give into the other partner. It's either they adjust and accept to love you freely or they don't. And once they dont, you should quit it and move on as fast as you can. Like a poster above me said, life will surely go on.

mysticgal:
I have been in one too, and sometimes it's hard to run, he even threatened to kill himself and I was scared. Finally finally, when I went home, with encouragement from nairalanders, friends and sister, I broke up with him and I thank God I did it at home, far away from him, who knows he would have stabbed or slapped me
Just today on Facebook, he is celebrating his new chick. Life goes on oh

I celebrate my freedom and I personally will leave any restraining relationship, even if it means I will be single till I die

Really happy for you...

NifemiOlu:


Really happy for you...

Thank you sweetie

A close friend of mine has been in such a relationship and the experience was gruesome mehn! The dude was mentally unstable and resorted to blackmailing and stalking her when the relationship ended. The case was more worrisome cos they were both coursemates so avoiding each other was almost impossible. The HOD had to step in @ the end when the guy was getting out of hand.

Ladies should actually be careful, its not cute to have a guy emotionally attached to you and possessive of you, even the Bible says things should be done with moderation

Excerpts from my past.. a possessive relationship

One evening in 2011 we were together at about 8.30pm when a senior friend who visited my church whenever he had a job in Lagos called. With excitement I responded to the call and catched up on old times as we rarely talk on phone (I had known this guy since 2002).

After the call.. my ex-boyfriend's rage was like a roaring Lion. "How will you have such long conversation at this time of the night and I should believe that nothing is going on bla bla bla.. henceforth you should turn off your phone at 8pm because this relationship will be over any day I smell foul play".... (the e-diot, he was the one who cheated eventually)

It was hard to swallow.. I remembered I didn't utter a challenge, I just went home after sometime of silence. Subconsciously, I began turning off my phone early before I sleep and this habit is with me till today.

A couple of years down the line, the guy who's call he wasn't comfortable with has become my elder sister's husband Oh life!

He would hug a million girls from Ekosodin gate to faculty while his face will be filled with rage if I stop to say hello to a male friend.

... this is just a few of the many instances of possessiveness. The day I understood that I was too good for him and he hid the fear of losing me under the guise of possessiveness I took a walk; after 2years of putting up with craps. A slow, steady but firm walk out of the sham called a relationship. I consider a possessive man to be the weakest of men full of insecurity.

Ladies, trust me it's really easy.. love is a state of mind. You stop loving a person the day you make up your mind to irrespective of the number of years of the relationship. You'd be fine and be happy you did. There are great guys out there with liberal minds who are not intimidated.

He felt I had no right to break up but NYSC distance made it easier. He stalked me for years after the relationship even reach nairaland and went fetish about it but God pass am

It won't get better, he won't change. Possessiveness, jealousy, anger, autocracy and domestic violence can't be separated. You'll eventually have a taste of them all.

Walk out while you're still sane.

I rem 2 of my toasters strangling me or do I say almost
Shouting I am obsessed with your body
If I don't have it
I won't ever let another

Na so I report to close friends of theirs
Iranu

Omapemi tori moni mise

mysticgal:
I have been in one too, and sometimes it's hard to run, he even threatened to kill himself and I was scared. Finally finally, when I went home, with encouragement from nairalanders, friends and sister, I broke up with him and I thank God I did it at home, far away from him, who knows he would have stabbed or slapped me
Just today on Facebook, he is celebrating his new chick. Life goes on oh

I celebrate my freedom and I personally will leave any restraining relationship, even if it means I will be single till I die

uhm... I hope you aren't stalking him on Facebook though.

Lolz

it's obvious the guy was mentally unstable..

the mumu played "Romeo", even when the girl showed him that she couldn't be his Juliet..

R.I.P.H R.I.P.P(Rest In Perfect Hell Peace)

Lol...more like how to safely eject a flash drive from a PC

Like Modiba, I'm finally back from NL jail

mysticgal:
I have been in one too, and sometimes it's hard to run, he even threatened to kill himself and I was scared. Finally finally, when I went home, with encouragement from nairalanders, friends and sister, I broke up with him and I thank God I did it at home, far away from him, who knows he would have stabbed or slapped me
Just today on Facebook, he is celebrating his new chick. Life goes on oh

I celebrate my freedom and I personally will leave any restraining relationship, even if it means I will be single till I die

Common do away with that mindset "you'll be single till u die". Pray to God for a Godly and down to earth Man who's ready to love u passionately and never being so so so controlling as d OP rightly sighted and hope you've stopped being friend with him on fb too lol. Wish you d very best dear

Swear its killing

i hate it with my life body nd soul

There is no joy nothing its pain sorrow heart ache no care

Its evil devilish demonic no sympathy

The love is all lies why hurt d ones u claim u love its a lie

All bou dis relationship is painful very very painful

I hate it

Never been in one, but I've had close calls.

mysticgal:
I have been in one too, and sometimes it's hard to run, he even threatened to kill himself and I was scared. Finally finally, when I went home, with encouragement from nairalanders, friends and sister, I broke up with him and I thank God I did it at home, far away from him, who knows he would have stabbed or slapped me
Just today on Facebook, he is celebrating his new chick. Life goes on oh

I celebrate my freedom and I personally will leave any restraining relationship, even if it means I will be single till I die

Ehyah, sorry I hope u meet your king soon

why not possessive Girlfriend

Scary set of people