OnaRegina:


It isnt just about what I desire though. Relationships are a two-way thing, aren't they? If a man will be stingy, he shouldn't come to my house expecting me to give him any food, abeg.

here is a again a very failed way to look at life... this is who YOU are, and he shouldnt try to change you. as long as you know that he aint into such meaningful gifts handing, thats all that matters. BE YOU, and accept him for HIM. opposites do attract sometimes.

many women have tried changing their men, and have unfortunately failed. dont waste your time trying the same mistake.

OnaRegina:
When my boyfriend and I go out, I make sure to sometimes pay and don't leave him to pay all the time. I think I pay a lot of the time actually. He earns more than me. However, recently, we went out with some friends and when he tried to pay with his card, there was an issue with the POS machine so I had to pay for him and myself. He mentioned that he would give me the cash later for both of us. When we drove to the ATM later, he took out the complete amount (covering both our bills that I had paid). I noticed that he initially counted out the full amount but later only gave me the money he owed for just his own bill. He had told me in front of our friends that he would repay me the amount for both our bills and besides when he attempted to pay using POS at the restaurant, it was for both our bills. So I dont know why he did that.

Also, in the 9 months we've been together, he has never bought me a gift (not even on my birthday or valentines) and at Christmas, he gave me a book he'd just finished reading as my present. To be fair, I didnt give him anything for christmas but I did give him something for his birthday.

When I travelled, I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing as he didnt want to feel obliged to return the kindness. I found that odd. I wasnt trying to buy him something so he could return the favour. Nevertheless, I bought him a small gift anyway.

I spoke to him about it and told him that while I'm not expecting expensive gifts, giving in a relationship is nice. I suggested chocolates or flowers and he said he didnt know etc.

Are my expectations high (based on the brief background I've just given) or is this sounding like a stingy guy to you? I feel a bit resentful but want to be reasonable about the whole thing.

Thanks for your sensible comments/advice.

Don't listen to all those small girls making noise up there.

He might be the saving type. You need to honestly make this observation before jumping into conclusions. Does he spend a lot on himself? Does he buy new clothes often, use the latest smartphone, go clubbing, dine at fancy restaurants, go to the cinema regs etc? Listen, some guys have been through a lot in the past (i.e. serious brokeness) and develop fear of being broke even after making lots of money: Peniaphobia. If a guy is unwilling to enjoy his own money, don't expect anything from him.

OR...
he might be acting on bad relationships in the past. Imagine if he was used and dumped for his money, he probably wouldn't feel comfortable blowing cash on you.

Just enjoy the good things about him...except you're in the relationship for the goodies in which case he's not your type. No guy is perfect, the next guy you dump him for might be generous but unfaithful. It's up to you to decide what you can tolerate and what you can't.

I don't think he likes u dat much to consider spending on u like that.

Its like he doesn't want to invest in something dat has no future.

How long have u guys been together?

OP just try and 4get ur wallet, ATM card and money at home when next u go out with him. plz try and eat excess on dat date. den lets see what he ll do.

OnaRegina:



The first case is the truth.

Anyway, it is not about expecting a guy to proove his love through money, thats not what I'm about. However, if he just never happens give, thats a little odd. Even with your platonic friends, I'm sure you give from time to time however little.

However, when someone starts screaming "if you love me u will give" into ur ear, thats gross emotional manipulation and greed, and its the case almost everywhere

uwa1:
OP just try and 4get ur wallet, ATM card and money at home when next u go out with him. plz try and eat excess on dat date. den lets see what he ll do.

Lol, I should totally do that!

Giving in a relationship should be a two way thing..That your bf doesn't believe in it. Sit him down and talk to him..Tell him you expect little gifts and nice stuffs from him occasionally, as a token to show he cares and can provide for u.Watch his actions afterwards, if the stinginess persists,talk to your legs and move!Na those kain guys u go marry,e go be like say u marry yourself!

Vickyydera:
A man that truly loves you will do anything to please you, he will even spend a fortune on you.
I will advise you to stop spending on him, stop showing him you have money or pay his bills cos if you do he will be reluctant to buy you gifts and take care of your financial needs.

Remind me again, does your father do anything to please you .
Even God who loves you infinity will not do every thing you ask of Him in prayer

She mentioned that he NEVER bought her anything , that's not so good , even if it's something little to show care .
My dear sister I suggest you speak to your legs . you lld be drained on the long run if it's not reciprocal .

daddyrich:


I disagree with you completely. she needs a genuine advise not this...

buying gifts and meeting a woman's financial needs in a relationship is not all there is to prove true. love itself is priceless. though her boyfriend behavior is somehow worrisome but you need to find out why.

I have witnessed a practical case where a guy was showering the girlfriend with gifts and fancy outings in fancy places but he stopped immediately after wedding.

Next... are you sure this guy truly loves you or he's just tolerating you. if yes is answer, then I suggest you give him sometimes. he might be struggling with a past experiences which might have forced him to become too careful.

Besides buying you gifts how can you evaluate his love for you?

I really don't think you need any other reply besides this.




Some people are just like that naturally or due to bad experience with you ladies(I hail)



Like this brother said, how else do you rate his love for you besides the spending things.



If he's good in other ways I see no reason why you should worry