simple bro, she might want to test ur love......., can u do me a favour, take her out of that vicinity, go to another place, approach a doctor to carry out another test , make sure u monitor her she doesnt ave any contact wif the hospital or lab to be used, then let see the result, bt if truely she hsa dat, I pray God to lead u, .....good moning...

DeeTus:
Fake doctor!!!

For the record, the guy is right.

ellacute45:
What if you go for another test three months later and suprise suprise you are hiv positive?? You would blame her right? For not telling you from the onset... You better call off the engagement.You even had unprotected SEX with her and she still kept mute about it

Hmmm

Obiwannn:

Hmmm

ogaa

xtzBestie:
For me I 4 run 440m.. I can't advice you to go and marry HIV+ but remember if you marry her you,your wife and your children will be HIV+ even your grand or great grand children's.... that one no be love foo...

It's not a must to comment.....

Proverbs 17:28 A fool is assumed to be wise if he keeps QUIET and thought Intelligent if he holds his tongue.....

You just typed thrash

chiwetel:
This is overwhelming.. it would have saved you both a lot of stress if she opened up earlier, at least it would have really helped you prepared well emotionally and spiritually for the task ahead.
we are all humans, it's easier for anyone to say"love conquers all"and similar hogwash like that,love is never enough sometimes, you don't want to take a decision you would regret in the long run,and then depression and hatred sets in.
Remember, this is a life changing decision and trust me its not even yours to make.This is the point you bury yourself in prayer to God or whatever you believe in.They say everything happens for a reason and the universe has it all planned out,trust God to reveal to you whatever reason this is happening to you, he would give you the grace to come out of this fix in one piece.
for now... its your cross.

do u thing it is easy to tell someone you dnt trust abt ur status? If she tells every wooer on their first date then be rest assured she is indirectly publicizing her status.

ellacute45:
ogaa

But I'm also thinking critically about it. Can I marry a hiv + person?

afroditte:
na una dey carry around and cause all the stigma attached to HIV carrying people.

They are people like you and me, they live longer than even healthy people. Ask Magic Johnson.

It can be managed, they go on to have families. Pls educate yourself. HIV is not a death sentence.

Oh! Please take several seats back, telling me to educate myself bla bla bla.

Between you and I who seems like they need an education? We are talking about someone who carefully led the OP on for two years and you are talking about stigmatisation, my friend get your head out your a$$ and reason like someone with a brain.

Obiwannn:

But I'm also thinking critically about it. Can I marry a hiv + person?

why would you?? Can't even try it no matter the circumstances

ellacute45:
why would you?? Can't even try it no matter the circumstances

Well there are certainly more to it than meets the eye. The OP's story just brought me back down to earth.. Really Really feel for him.

6fit:
If u hav been having unprotected sex, sorry just acept yur new status and marry her else, run faster than yur shadow..........NL pls note dis guy oh, he may b a mobile HIV carrier

Hahahahahaha... Which 1 be mobile HIV carrier
Una no go kill person for here...

My dearie, HIV no be death sentence oooo, Infact there are dozens of infection and diseases that are worse than it....

The issue about HIV is just the negative mentality about it, the stigmatization..... Not actually the disease....
The management of HIV is cheaper than the management of High blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, kidney problems, heart disease, I hope you knw
abacavir + zidovudine + lamivudine, tenofovir are Anti retrovial therapy and the are HIGHLY subsidized,


Ps....I'm not advising anybody to start engaging in risky behaviors that may lead to HIV ooo.....
No be me send u oooo.....
HIV is an infection and Infections are BAD are the body QED

Yes, mit a doctor make enquiries is possible your immunity is resistant to d virus is nt all human HIV can infect.

you better waka

Obiwannn:

Well there are certainly more to it than meets the eye. The OP's story just brought me back down to earth.. Really Really feel for him.

OK then ... Didn't feel any sorry for him!!!

UjSizzle:
Here's my take:

In a relationship everyone has a deal breaker. If you have undisclosed material information-- and I mean information about yourself that will significantly affect the other person's decision to be (or not) with you that has been deliberately withheld even when it's obvious that all signs point towards a certain end (eg marriage), then you are a liar and the worst kind of deceiver out there.
It's simple. If your reason for holding back is as a result of your fear of losing said person, then you are a bigger liar.
Even with the possibility of this being a 'test', it's still an inconsiderate way of testing a man's loyalty.


That said, if the OP isn't interested in going ahead with the marriage, he is fully justified to call it off.

Good one

Gasout:
Yes! What's wrong with

See you better leave that woman alone as she doesn't love you, she only wants someone who can accept her with her status, therefore she led you on this far, told you at a point she knows is hard to turn back and then shed crocodile tears as icing on the cake.

HIV stigma or not, you don't keep that info from your partner, someone you are sexually involved with(its a crime in sane countries) plus someone who loves you, would care about your health and this lady obviously doesn't.

I can bet that all those said qualities you talked about, is her pretending to get you to propose, you better use your head and stop being stupid, thinking it's love.

Mskrisx:
Chaiiiii



Hmmmm what can I say oooo

But op are u sure?
Have u been sleeping with her? Unprotected?

Hmmm

***Modified ***
My dear,love conquers all it hides multitude of sin.
What of if she didn't tell you? and insisted you penetration raw? What would u have done if u became positive too?

Bros, it's one thing to meet a woman, it another difficult I mean very difficult thing to meet one who's ready to tell you all.
I ain't a doctor, but I know there is a way u both could go about it.
Also never you forget... The Balm of Gilead, he whose spoken words, turns captivity to joy. My dear op, take that case to him. Cuz I know and I tell u when every efforts his own can never, will never fail.

Goodluck to u and ur woman... May God Keep you both together. Amen

as e be say na woman get de virus tel me why love no go conquer it all?

ellacute45:
OK then ... Didn't feel any sorry for him!!!

haba y na

Obiwannn:
haba y na

I don't know either the story get as e be

Chai! Well, I believe the comments here are enough for the op to make his decision.

ojialo:
:odid u use ur tongue to clean her london gate?

Meehn it's now HIV test result or no London gate cleaning

Gasout:
Good evening members in the house. I purposely brought this topic to this section (family) cos I blive i'll have a mature responses and contributions.

I'll try to be brief as possible.
I met this lady 2014 but we started dating November last year. It took her a whole year for her to accept dating me.

But then, she told me that, there is something she will tell any man who desire to marry her bt, depend on the level of seriousness of the man.

Then, I took what she planned telling her hubby to be as nothing serious nt until d relationship began to wax stronger. After being in the relationship for a while, I discovered she posses virtually all d qualities I desire in a lady and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her.

I tried to make her tell me what she has in mind that she plan to tell her hubby to be, she refused. At this stage, our both parents re aware of our relationship and we planned to have our INTRO this June.

I proposed to her last week, she accepted and busted to tears. Initially, I thought it was a tears of joy, nt knowing it was something entirely different from my thought.

I took her home with different feelings within me since she couldn't stop crying. When we got to their house b4 she alighted, she hold my hands and told me me 'she's HIV positive'

I was startled for minutes. She said I should think about it if I still want the relationship.

I have make enquiries from Doctors if both of us can marry and He said yes Bt the am nt still convince. Please, Nairalanders, I need ur sincere advice on this issue...

Chai !!! Chaii !!! Bros I feel for you,chaiiiiiii !!!!! But the did is already done, so just go on and marry her if you love her but oh! I doubt if you'll ever be able to forget even after you've forgiven her, its hard, very hard but you have no choice dear, go on and marry and pls do everything you can to stay happy with her, wish you good luck, cheers.

Subom1:
you have been watching way too many Nollywood movies

Lwkmd

femzysticks:



do you Believe in Jesus?

he can heal any disease

The question here should be, "does the lady believe in Jesus?" Cos if she does, she would have told the truth long before now, and she won't even have sex with the guy protected or unprotected. Wait, people think Jesus is a magician eh; I tire o

Olabestonic001:


So, its about her self-worth, self-esteem and all about her. What about the marriage about to be built on gross manipulation? What about deceit and such.
Let's just state it here; she's manipulative and only ensured she boxed to a corner before showing her case. If op marry that girl, they'll have a lot of pains that all of us here will pity them on.
True love is pure. Any time someone tries to use deceit or manipulation in marriage, I always advice the other part to RUN! I've seen people marry people with terminal diseases, but the spouse always knew way ahead. A woman that can do that to the op will not hesitate to kill him on the day she wishes to.

She hasn't in anyway manipulated the situation. What if she told him after wedding?
Do you know what it takes for someone to confess that they have Hiv?
She is a very selfless person.
Just because she has Hiv, doesn't mean she can't have friends and live a normal life. You are only stigmatizing her for her Hiv status.
Would you do same to someone with cancer?
Be very sensitive and think deep.
At the beginning of the relationship, she technically informed him that she will at a stage reveal an important information. She has to first know how serious the young man is before giving out the information which is very personal. You are judging her on the simple ground that anyone with Hiv must have been infected through sexual contact, sometimes it's not.

Adikam:
as e be say na woman get de virus tel me why love no go conquer it all?

my brother no mind women, when them shit for man head them go say "LOVE CAN CONQUER ALL" but if na a man make small mistake na that time you hear everybody go de call for him head, woman go use man clean yansh in the name of love when them no even believe in, them wan rule man by all cost, say gender equality abi institutionalized female chauvinism.

@Gasout, is this the same girl you talked about in one of your threads about needing a relationship coach to advise you? If she is the one, the signs were there, you were carried away by love(not your fault though).

Remember she didnt give you a concrete reason for breaking up with her ex and she hinted you about "something" she will tell anyone she is "serious" with. You should have pressed her further to find out that "something".

histemple:


I didn't say they can't contract the virus through s3x, what I said was that chances for female to male transmission is SLIMMER than male to female. In s3x, the female is the receptor while the male is the depositor.
The virus is infectious and not contagious. It can't be transmitted via physical contact. It is mostly via blood.

Besides, s3x is just one of the many possibilities of contracting the virus, and that explains why we have a lot of virgin carriers of the dreaded virus.

U are correct...I had similar experience in June 2015...she is a colleague and friend...though, I'm married but she's a single lady...we worked at the same section in d office and she used to always be around me at a gathering after daily work...we were so close to some levels...there was a time that she fell sick for like a week and regained her strength...while she accused me of not checking on her...that day SOMETHING led to SOMETHING...she came to meet at a bar in an hotel which is our usual place...as we were about leaving d bar, there was a heavy down pour...she was seriously cold that attracts d attention of everyone...everyone now advised that I should get her a room in d hotel as d outside was cold, to relax for a while before d rain stops...I took her in, and she was freezing as if she needs a warmer...I covered her wt d heavy blanket, yet she was gnashing teeth...she asked me to come and stop her from shaking...I entered there wt her trying to hug and keep her calm, but didn't help d matter...I then try to do body contact by removing my top in order to warm her...immediately, she asked me to remove all her clothes...I was then I removed my trousers..we clawed for like 15min..I couldn't resist it anymore as I made a move, which she was unable to resist vehemently...but showing kind of reluctancy at d same time having d urge...finally, we did d DEE-DON-DEE...but was very fast and snappy because she's wet already...
six months after, I mean Dec 2015, she was confirmed HIV...she called me to go for the test, that her boyfriend whom they had unprotected sex together for good four(4) months, has been tested negative...I then went for d test Feb 2016, thank God that I'm NEGATIVE...I did d test again this month. glory be to God...she has been tested and confirmed positive at different government hospitals. I pity d poor gal.

micxwell:


The question here should be, "does the lady believe in Jesus?" Cos if she does, she would have told the truth long before now, and she won't even have sex with the guy protected or unprotected. Wait, people think Jesus is a magician eh; I tire o

yeah....

James 5:15, and the prayer of the righteous shall heal the sick
tho they had pre-marital sex

but we serve a God who dosnt see our yesterday but our heart

if only they believe and trust in him and live right

they could get their answer



I love your view

If this ur Fiancee should love u that much as u claim she shouldnt have allowed u had unprotected sex with her because she fully knw the danger over such an act. Is entirely ur decision to make. My only advice for u is this..''Start searching for a black goat wen there is time cos u cant find it wen is dark''

Op, The situation you are in is not as easy as many people may think.
First of all, If I have to put myself in your shoes, I will probably work away. Let me give you 2 solid reason to walk away even though I have considered other options.

HIV/AIDS is not a child's play and cannot be overlooked!
TWO REASONS TO WORK AWAY FROM THE RELATIONSHIP.

1. SHe kept a serious health issue away from you for a "very long time " made u commited to the relationship. For her to be taking ARVD , I believe she must have been counselled and she fully knows what she was doing.

2. Having known what she is carrying , she had a protected sexual intercourse without "your full consent of her HIV status".
I also believe shes no kid and she knows that in the "act" of having a protected condoms could fail (it cld get torn, or u could decide to take it of u yo have it raw while in the act).
Brov, You life is in your hand., make the right decision !

Thank God you know now before you marry her.
If you go on marry her love might not be able to hold the home because of what you already carrying in your mind.
Think of the kids in future your love for them!
I know of someone that is passing the same now, his own he did't know before until child comes in.
Thank God test shows the guy still negative. Think Guy don't let love blind you. Thank God you know now!!!