jabojafa:
do u thing it is easy to tell someone you dnt trust abt ur status? If she tells every wooer on their first date then be rest assured she is indirectly publicizing her status.

of course its not smart to say it on the first date,op said they met since 2014,now two years is a long time to keep quiet about something this delicate, to think she allowed him have sex with her..that's highly insensitive.

chiwetel:
of course its not smart to say it on the first date,op said they met since 2014,now two years is a long time to keep quiet about something this delicate, to think she allowed him have sex with her..that's highly insensitive.

For real? I didn't read down before oh. Wait, did they do it with or without?

JoeCutie:

For real? I didn't read down before oh. Wait, did they do it with or without?

hehehehe,lazy reader, better beg me first oooo.

Anyways, he did say they did it with kini,which she initiated.But,then wah if something went wrong.. of course it would be another story.

it is quite typical for an average nigerian to castigate others while many dont know their status. she told u because u proposed to show u are serious. so make more research and preference the merits n consequences to see if u can cope. however malaria kills faster than the dreaded disease.
one big lesson to learn is some secrets u dont know about might wipe off love from your eyes and if u only fell for a pretty powdered face that secret will make u stand up from where u fell into.

On behalf of the Op, I wanna say thank y'all for your contributions. I have really acquire a lot..mesi boqu

chiwetel:
of course its not smart to say it on the first date,op said they met since 2014,now two years is a long time to keep quiet about something this delicate, to think she allowed him have sex with her..that's highly insensitive.

yeah dt is why we are warned to flee fornication

jabojafa:
yeah dt is why we are warned to flee fornication

huh

9jaRonin:


I'm a medical practitioner myself. I can understand the Op's confusion on this matter......such news can be devastating. But I don't think an open forum like Nairaland is the best place to seek advice on this matter. The Op should be talking to a doctor (preferably an ART physician or someone who is well experienced in PMTCT), a marriage counsellor/clergy (his choice) or his fiancée herself (though he might not be feeling up to that right now).

Cases of discordant couples exist, some as a result of very good adherence to ART resulting in undetectable viral loads and thus reducing the risk of transmission. Like I said earlier, this guy needs professional advice on his next move....

Although you can still get some good advice on Nairaland, the chances of getting misinformed by the uninformed are very HIGH in this forum.

You've made a good point though it hasn't changed my opinion. Since marriage hasn't been enacted, better walk away from the complexities of Antiretroviral therapy and expensies. That's she's RVD +ve is already a strain in their relationship and would affect desire for love making.

chiwetel:
huh

why huh? Is it nt written in ur bible that of all the sins, fornicatn is d only sin one sin against God n his own flesh.

This story was of no use posted here. You've already said you asked doctors beforehand who stated the two of you can get married. Why ask for opinions on a forum where majority of users are yet to pass JAMB? If true, opinions here would only confuse you more - stick with what doctors adviced you. Don't make life any harder for yourself.

chiwetel:
hehehehe,lazy reader, better beg me first oooo.

Anyways, he did say they did it with kini,which she initiated.But,then wah if something went wrong.. of course it would be another story.

Ah! You're my sweetheart nau.

That girl is wicked oh. Some people might interpret what she did as being afraid of rejection, but it's also being heartless. Life isn't fair, yes, but you really don't have to drag other people into your mess. If na me, I go kill that babe oh. HIV? Choi! That one's strong oh.

Gasout:
Good evening members in the house. I purposely brought this topic to this section (family) cos I blive i'll have a mature responses and contributions.

I'll try to be brief as possible.
I met this lady 2014 but we started dating November last year. It took her a whole year for her to accept dating me.

But then, she told me that, there is something she will tell any man who desire to marry her bt, depend on the level of seriousness of the man.

Then, I took what she planned telling her hubby to be as nothing serious nt until d relationship began to wax stronger. After being in the relationship for a while, I discovered she posses virtually all d qualities I desire in a lady and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her.

I tried to make her tell me what she has in mind that she plan to tell her hubby to be, she refused. At this stage, our both parents re aware of our relationship and we planned to have our INTRO this June.

I proposed to her last week, she accepted and busted to tears. Initially, I thought it was a tears of joy, nt knowing it was something entirely different from my thought.

I took her home with different feelings within me since she couldn't stop crying. When we got to their house b4 she alighted, she hold my hands and told me me 'she's HIV positive'

I was startled for minutes. She said I should think about it if I still want the relationship.

I have make enquiries from Doctors if both of us can marry and He said yes Bt the am nt still convince. Please, Nairalanders, I need ur sincere advice on this issue...

am gonna be blunt if she really loved u she wld have told u before u proposed..bow am sensing yu wanna go ahead and marry her but i hope it aint out of pity,cos if it is you wil regret the rest of ur life..also if u also have any secret now is the time to confess too,ter that search ur heart deeply and spiritually,if u still love her then medically yu can marry her..

MissMercedes:


She didn't tell you she was HIV positive before you both got serious? Are you kidding me?! There are some things that shouldn't be concealed till it's too late!

Madam, you not being online cns yesterday. How fa? Hope no wahala.

9jaRonin:


I'm a medical practitioner myself. I can understand the Op's confusion on this matter......such news can be devastating. But I don't think an open forum like Nairaland is the best place to seek advice on this matter. The Op should be talking to a doctor (preferably an ART physician or someone who is well experienced in PMTCT), a marriage counsellor/clergy (his choice) or his fiancée herself (though he might not be feeling up to that right now).

Cases of discordant couples exist, some as a result of very good adherence to ART resulting in undetectable viral loads and thus reducing the risk of transmission. Like I said earlier, this guy needs professional advice on his next move....

Although you can still get some good advice on Nairaland, the chances of getting misinformed by the uninformed are very HIGH in this forum.

You've made a good point though it hasn't changed my opinion. Since marriage hasn't been enacted, better walk away from the complexities of Antiretroviral therapy and expensies. That's she's RVD +ve is already a strain in their relationship and would affect desire for love making.

histemple:
For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

Yes she could be.

avicky:

Ewwwwwww.

What are you being queasy about?

Is it the opinion that he can give head or that he can give head to someone living with the virus?

Well I wouldn't expressly advice a spouse not infected to go the length of oral 53x with an infected partner cos the risk is still there, no matter how slim. But hey, if they are both free or both infected, why not?

Learn natural ways to remove all sexually transmitted infectipns and get rid of fibroid without surgery. Getting pregnant or being productive isn't going to be an issue anymore.
Visit to learn more http://tuthealth.easyresearch.org/fsam.html

Do you want to get rid of premature ejaculation, poor libido, low sperm count, erectile dysfunction?
Then visit
http://tuthealth.easyresearch.org/stisam.html

histemple:
For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

very wrong piece of info exchange of fluids is what needs to happen there is no slim or fat chances yu don't have to be a man or woman first yu don't necessarily need to ejaculate during unprotected copulation there is exchange of fluid between the partners and that is all it takes

Gasout:
Good evening members in the house. I purposely brought this topic to this section (family) cos I blive i'll have a mature responses and contributions.

I'll try to be brief as possible.
I met this lady 2014 but we started dating November last year. It took her a whole year for her to accept dating me.

But then, she told me that, there is something she will tell any man who desire to marry her bt, depend on the level of seriousness of the man.

Then, I took what she planned telling her hubby to be as nothing serious nt until d relationship began to wax stronger. After being in the relationship for a while, I discovered she posses virtually all d qualities I desire in a lady and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her.

I tried to make her tell me what she has in mind that she plan to tell her hubby to be, she refused. At this stage, our both parents re aware of our relationship and we planned to have our INTRO this June.

I proposed to her last week, she accepted and busted to tears. Initially, I thought it was a tears of joy, nt knowing it was something entirely different from my thought.

I took her home with different feelings within me since she couldn't stop crying. When we got to their house b4 she alighted, she hold my hands and told me me 'she's HIV positive'

I was startled for minutes. She said I should think about it if I still want the relationship.

I have make enquiries from Doctors if both of us can marry and He said yes Bt the am nt still convince. Please, Nairalanders, I need ur sincere advice on this issue...

did you marry this woman?