As a man, disclosing your salary to your wife is like telling the vulture where the meat is. I'm not saying women are vultures o but they do come close. . .well. . most of them!

my husband thinks he can play on my intelligence.whn we got married and i asked him how much he earned he said above 200 thousand.he wasnt specific about the exact amount.when i started working he stylishly asked how much i earned and i also stylishly said above 100thousand.he makes me laugh at times wit his response to some serious questions.maybe cause he is a lawyer so he feels he is smart.

oln:

my husband thinks he can play on my intelligence.whn we got married and i asked him how much he earned he said above 200 thousand.he wasnt specific abt the exact amount.whn i statred working he stylishly asked how much i earned and i also stylishly said above 100thousand.he makes me laugh attimes wit his response to sme serious questns.maybe cause he is a lawyer so he feels he is smart.

I laugh in Chinco stylee

MUZBO:

As a man, disclosing your salary to your wife is like telling the vulture where the meat is. I'm not saying women are vultures o but they do come close. . .well. . most of them!

I some how agree with this statement.

lastpage:

@theblessed
Ma Shista, no be fight now, unungo?
See grammar, see Police, see lawyer, see judge, see appeal!  

Anyway, thats how you feel, and its your right to feel as you like!

BTW, l want to make a general observation:

When a man loves his wife and is ready to do anything for her, hold her bags, open doors for her, sweep, cook and wash for her,do her biddings and both are generally happy with each other, e.t.c, some third-party person, MEN especially would refer to the man as "stupid, Woman-wrapper, weak man, mugun or that Juju is working on his brain   and all sorts of dissings like that!

The other side of the coin is when a woman loves her man and does not question his authority nor challenge his place in the household, she generally will do what pleases him, some third-party persons, especially women will call her "village-wife, child-wife, mumu, bush-woman, uneducated, uncivilized, unenlightened, dormant, dumb, unexposed, unambitious, e.t.c"!

Could it be that some have taken it to be their right to "set the rules" on how a husband and wife must relate and anything other than that is viewed negatively? Why cant people just mind their business and let husband and wife decide what is best for them instead of trying to influence one against the other?
And if per-chance, this same spouse should change to the opposite, some other groups will start the name-calling!

Feel free to comment on this, man or woman, take your side

@xstdreason
The whole house is waiting for d salacious, juicy details please!
Ameebooo!

Lastpage

[b]Yes, I believe in democracy and freedom of speech.  'Say what you like even though it can hurt some ears that hears it'  And you see, I am not a Saint and have never claimed to be but one thing is sure, I get furious when I see what I consider EVIL.  

It's true, we all may have embarked on labelling such women but you forgot in this case, that labelling goes both ways.  If we perceived her as you just said, "village-wife, child-wife, mumu, bush-woman, uneducated, uncivilized, unenlightened, dormant, dumb, unexposed, unambitious, e.t.c so do these women perceive us who have the guts to challenge men that treat us this way.  These women forgot that the little rights we all have today e.g. the right to vote, to work and earn a living independent of our husbands are given to them by strong and influential women of the past who fought for the rights we enjoy and take for granted today - see, Afganistan women today and ask them what they think  Yes, these may be happy with things in their household as it is now but when things are derailed and she find herself homeless, husband lost his job or run off with another women then the chicken nyash will be seen, won't it?  That's when they would need help/support and information from enlightened women around them to enable them manage their sudden change of situation.  As far as I'm concerned, that's the hypocrisy I found in such women that makes me want to jeer and tell them, 'I TOLD YOU SO'.  

Hey, we mustn't get distracted from the main issue here, please!  The issue is 'Is it wrong for a man or women' in relationship to behave this way?  You see, I assume most people here married their husbands/wives for love and affection and if others went into it for other reasons - it's between them and God!  I'm glad majority here with a sense of fairness and fear of God in them overtly said it's damn 'Wrong' and that's where I stand.  In a trusting, happy and peaceful relationship, there should be no secrecy.  If a woman does not bother about what her husband earns, why should he bother about hiding it?  Lying to your wife, some people seems to approve but wait till she lies to you by tell you one day that, the the BELLY she is carrying is not yours but your brothers or someone else then you will realise that lies and secrecy is EVIL and SATANIC which aims at nothing but DESTRUCTION.  And for those who continue to lie in their relationships, I say good luck with your lies and secrecy, you'd be caught one day hence, your destruction![/b]

MUZBO:

As a man, disclosing your salary to your wife is like telling the vulture where the meat is. I'm not saying women are vultures o but they do come close. . .well. . most of them!

so much truth in this, but its depends on the type of spouse u have, not all wives gv a damn to what the husband earns, so far heis providing the basic neeeds

and in my own case, i tell am less

Theblessed:

Based on your comment above, I disagree with you.  I know your live in the Uk and based on this fact, this issue is so easy.  It seems to me your wife does not know her rights and probably, does not know how to find out.  I suggest she write your Boss and HR Department requesting full and complete information about your salary. If they fail to provide that, she should go through her solicitors and you all will sh-t.  You know, there are lots of things she could cite for the NEED TO KNOW then, you will realise you are dealing with a clever woman and never again play this childish game.  I don't blame you guys for doing this to women, I blame it on the MUGGU women who don't know their left and right and would not ask for help to open their eyes.  I am really angry with them because they keep letting us down, all the time.

Sister if any woman takes that step then she should be ready for any unseen and probably irreconcilable consequences.  Full disclosure of salary does not necessarily translates to full usage in the right directions.  There are different model of marriages and both parties have to sit and plan a workable model that satisfies both party. one mans meat is another's mans poison. There is no general rule about salary and marriage. Our mothers of yesterday did not ask our fathers all these questions. I wonder what the world is turning to in relation to the African culture.

[s]As a christian The bible says the man is the head of the house ( though both of them are equal), So in matters like this where there is no clear rule. The woman should abide and trust the final judgment of the man. [/s]

_{ouch  i thought the post was in the religion section.}

After all those men killing their wives who are nurses in the USA practiced full disclosure.

When a woman earns her salary she should bring it home kneel down before her husband
or prostrate before him and give him her salary then the man will rub her back and said

thou humble, sweet and melody wife take this pocket money then I will handle the rest. no be so? ochi ato gbuo lam

^^^U no be better person!

Sure, I can!

hackney:

Only my boss knows how much i earn.
Not telling your wife is not an indication of trust issues.
It's just a need to have a level of privacy.

After all, why would she even need to know about every single penny?
All she needs to know is when you inform her that either you can afford something or not.
As long as the family is thriving financially, i dont see the need for all the details.
But then that's just me. . . . . .  

I feel u man. Knowing would not increase hers?

Privacy please

With all pleasure i will do that any time and any day . It makes live easier for me. This is to forestall an occassion where my wife will collect fifty thousand naira wrapper whereas my take home pay is twenty thousand naira. Besides, since both of us are one by virtue of the sacrament of matrimony, we ought to be privy of each other's account. Let me as well add that any marriage shrouded in secrecy is bound for the rock.

You have to think carefully about who wears the pants in your household. Has she turned you into the female instead of the male? Part of been a man of the house is providing for your family with adequate input from your wife. Do you have visions for the future or just accepting your fate as sealed by God. When you show good common sense with money,then salary issues should not be fully discussed. If she earns more than you, you have my sincere goodluck on how long you stay married and what role you play.

Be carefull how you surrender that salary info because next will come the distribution method. Women by nature want to be in charge and guys by nature think they are in charge.

As long as you are "husband and wife" not "man and woman" it is fine.

ofcourse, couples should not hide anything from themselves. it starts problems and affects trust

Black_Revo:

Sister if any woman takes that step then she should be ready for any unseen and probably irreconcilable consequences.  Full disclosure of salary does not necessarily translates to full usage in the right directions.  There are different model of marriages and both parties have to sit and plan a workable model that satisfies both party. one mans meat is another's mans poison. There is no general rule about salary and marriage. Our mothers of yesterday did not ask our fathers all these questions. I wonder what the world is turning to in relation to the African culture.

[s]As a christian The bible says the man is the head of the house ( though both of them are equal), So in matters like this where there is no clear rule. The woman should abide and trust the final judgment of the man. [/s]

_{ouch  i thought the post was in the religion section.}

After all those men killing their wives who are nurses in the USA practiced full disclosure.

Thank you o!

Theblessed:

Based on your comment above, I disagree with you.  I know your live in the Uk and based on this fact, this issue is so easy.  It seems to me your wife does not know her rights and probably, does not know how to find out.  I suggest she write your Boss and HR Department requesting full and complete information about your salary. If they fail to provide that, she should go through her solicitors and you all will sh-t.  You know, there are lots of things she could cite for the NEED TO KNOW then, you will realise you are dealing with a clever woman and never again play this childish game.  I don't blame you guys for doing this to women, I blame it on the MUGGU women who don't know their left and right and would not ask for help to open their eyes.  I am really angry with them because they keep letting us down, all the time.

If you are my wife and you ever have the guts to ever do this, you will see FIRE!

There is absolutely no way you will see a minute of happiness in that household til the minute I kick you out (And I would ensure you don't see much of it after you are out). You would wonder the curse someone placed on you or, if there is a god, that allowed you to get a man like me.

Tears would be coming out from not only your eyes but also your ears by the time I finish.

This is the kind of trouble I love because I know how to deal with it.

rubi:

When a woman earns her salary she should bring it home kneel down before her husband
or prostrate before him and give him her salary then the man will rub her back and said

thou humble, sweet and melody wife take this pocket money then I will handle the rest. no be so? ochi ato gbuo lam

Chei, you are well brought up o! You should be giving classes to women.

i cant disclose,my salary with my hubby,bt i can do all i can 2 make our marriage work,and supporting him fully.if he has economic melt like nigerians are now,i wl support him wt al i av.

Marriage is based on trust. The 2 have come together to be 1 and so there should be no secrets except of course, in the case of playing away matches once in a while . That's men for you. As for income, most men can hardly hide that from their wife unless the woman doesn't care to find out.

I tell my gf how much i make,,,,right from the time i was on pocket money.what's there to hide anyway?
We just have to focus on the big picture except both of you stumbled into the studio out of curiosity.

There are no fast rules to this,

What may be favorable in one circumstance may be adverse in another. Full disclosure has led to Bliss or Pain in some cases.

As humans we need to apply the innate gift of discernment in our social relationships,

Every marriage requires a constant pulse check to determine what best applies,

Yes "Trust" may be everything, but the "Betrayal of Trust" is a gaping reality in human relationships.

Full or partial disclosure, the choice is yours.

I wonder for the women that people are marrying , if you can not share your income with your wife .

i understand not giving full access so there is some control on spending but seriously if you can not trust your wife to know your income why do you trust her to feed you and your children, she can kill you and take all that money you have been hiding under the mattress

i think married pple can say much better stuff here, cos am still single. I will keep mute, but for your babes to tell u her salary??Miss call,  I don't hide my salary cos its still small so that she wont ask for what i cant afford!!but had it been its much more, i might be tempted to hide a(some) digits

NL will turn me to a witch one day, only me laughing like a baby when she sight her xmas cloth!

Pittbaby:

I wonder for the women that people are marrying , if you can not share your income with your wife .

i understand not giving full access so there is some control on spending but seriously if you can not trust your wife to know your income why do you trust her to feed you and your children, she can kill you and take all that money you have been hiding under the mattress

na wa oh.
I think this is something for the women to note that, the men in their lives is afraid oh

I believe that once you are married, you become one in everything including sharing each other's income. A spouse should not keep any secrets from his/her spouse including how much they make, A married couple should have joint accounts because you are one and no one should be greedy,

egyptian84:

I believe that once you are married, you become one in everything including sharing each other's income. A spouse should not keep any secrets from his/her spouse including how much they make, A married couple [size=18pt]should have joint accounts[/size] because you are one and no one should be greedy,

Cheiiiiiiiiiiiii

Sagamite:

Thank you o!

If you are my wife and you ever have the guts to ever do this, you will see FIRE!

There is absolutely no way you will see a minute of happiness in that household til the minute I kick you out (And I would ensure you don't see much of it after you are out). You would wonder the curse someone placed on you or, if there is a god, that allowed you to get a man like me.

Tears would be coming out from not only your eyes but also your ears by the time I finish.

This is the kind of trouble I love because I know how to deal with it.

Chei, you are well brought up o! You should be giving classes to women.

[b]You should thank your star for the lame woman in your life.  As you said, should I be your wife (thank God I'm not, you would have been gone long time ago because, there's no way I will put up with this kind of sh-t one second!), by the time I wake up for you, YOU WON'T HAVE LEGS TO STAND - not by MIGHT nor the VIOLENT way you are proposing but PURE INTELLIGENCE.  But why would an intelligent woman ever consider an unintelligent man for a husband I wonder You see, a SQUARE SHAPE and a ROUND SHAPE can never ever fit, can they  Based on the Bible, 'those who make them, look like them' - you marry your kind.  There's no 'hell' in the world I would touch you with a BADGE POLE as an acquaintance let alone, a boyfriend and then that big thing called LIFE PARTNER when the risk is obvious - DECEIT AND LIES, Naaaaaaaaa!!! No, way!   

Your THREAT OF VIOLENCE to subdue your opponents for ascertaining their rights is the hallmark of ILLITERATES  and only suggests what little intelligence there is UPSTAIRS and the answer is zoocoooh! JUNGLE MAN,  in your head, by killing somebody you must have achieved something, eh?  Remember, you are not the only one with access to guns or knives etc these days, ok!  So, we mustn't go there.  Let me WARN YOU, never ever threaten people with violence because, as you think you know some thing, there's always someone out there that KNOWS BETTER.  BE WARNED else, you might be stopped before you could even CRAWL!!! 

I suppose before you contemplate this threat, you must have thought a MERE WOMAN I can squeeze with my big toe.  Boy, I have NEWS for you - there are different kinds of women.  We may all have been built the same way but we certainly don't LOOK, THINK, FEEL and ACT the same way, ok!  There are women born with the heart and determination of a man, you better not forget this.  So, never you under-estimate the POWER OF A WOMAN - I mean what a determined woman can do, WATCH YOUR BACK when you make such threats you could be made to WEE and POOH in your pants. 

It seems to me, you've been threatening small woman your end/surrounding areas and getting away with it.  Though, I wouldn't behave like you however, if shove comes to push, I will certainly challenge the ar-e off you and your kind and bring you all down to earth in order to ensure you respect women, when next you come across women, you'd be the first to eloquently acknowledge there is a difference - EMPTY BARREL![/b]

Theblessed:

[b]You should thank your star for the lame woman in your life.  As you said, should I be your wife (thank God I'm not, you would have been gone long time ago because, there's no way I will put up with this kind of sh-t one second!), by the time I wake up for you, YOU WON'T HAVE LEGS TO STAND - not by MIGHT nor the VIOLENT way you are proposing but PURE INTELLIGENCE.  But why would an intelligent woman ever consider an unintelligent man for a husband I wonder You see, a SQUARE SHAPE and a ROUND SHAPE can never ever fit, can they  Based on the Bible, 'those who make them, look like them' - you marry your kind.  There's no 'hell' in the world I would touch you with a BADGE POLE as an acquaintance let alone, a boyfriend and then that big thing called LIFE PARTNER when the risk is obvious - DECEIT AND LIES, Naaaaaaaaa!!! No, way!   

Your THREAT OF VIOLENCE to subdue your opponents for ascertaining their rights is the hallmark of ILLITERATES  and only suggests what little intelligence there is UPSTAIRS and the answer is zoocoooh! JUNGLE MAN,  in your head, by killing somebody you must have achieved something, eh?  Remember, you are not the only one with access to guns or knives etc these days, ok!  So, we mustn't go there.  Let me WARN YOU, never ever threaten people with violence because, as you think you know some thing, there's always someone out there that KNOWS BETTER.  BE WARNED else, you might be stopped before you could even CRAWL!!! 

I suppose before you contemplate this threat, you must have thought a MERE WOMAN I can squeeze with my big toe.  Boy, I have NEWS for you - there are different kinds of women.  We may all have been built the same way but we certainly don't LOOK, THINK, FEEL and ACT the same way, ok!  There are women born with the heart and determination of a man, you better not forget this.  So, never you under-estimate the POWER OF A WOMAN - I mean what a determined woman can do, WATCH YOUR BACK when you make such threats you could be made to WEE and POOH in your pants. 

It seems to me, you've been threatening small woman your end/surrounding areas and getting away with it.  Though, I wouldn't behave like you however, if shove comes to push, I will certainly challenge the ar-e off you and your kind and bring you all down to earth in order to ensure you respect women, when next you come across women, you'd be the first to eloquently acknowledge there is a difference - EMPTY BARREL![/b]

Who threatened you with violence? Or where did you see the threat of violence? And YOU are talking about intelligence? YOU?

You lack the intelligence to differentiate between what you want and what is your right that is why you struggle with men in relationships and hence the stupid hatred for males that your posts are pregnant with.

You can continue mourning all your life but I can guarantee you you well never get a man that would stay with you because you are obviously not balanced. There are thousands of better women out there why stay with someone like you?

Is it a big deal?

if it is not a woman that has fear of God,it is not good

wolexanda:

if it is not a woman that has fear of God,it is not good

If she is not trustworthy enuf, why marry her then?

No qualms, I could do it,(it would be working together at the end of the day) the only time I prolly wouldn't is if I felt a lil embarrassed that my salary was quite. . . . . errrrrr . . . . crap.

Joint accounts. . . . . .hmmmmm nah am ok thanks. . . .maybe a 'family' joint account to save for holidays and rainy days etc.

On the other hand, whatever is my husband's is mine and whatever is mine, is errr, well and truly mine.