My friend, try and playback moments you have had with this girl... Though she has already shown she is insensitive to see her father like dat and be okay with it dat alone will cause u lot of pain if you offend her but let us assume you will never offend her.. .. She must have shown you her inability to be thoughtful and patient, submission self she would have been pretending... Try and take a deep dive in thinking about things she has done that you are afraid of, if it outweighs the good traits... STEP 1: I will say remove your sandals first... Next try and have an investigative conversation with her pretending you just want to know more about her mother make her feel so relaxed talking about her, if she feels so attached to her to the extent she wants to replicate her, my friend STEP 2: RUN!!! .. don't eat anything from her or the mother o...be warned

iwadobo:


Best comment so far. He should call her and tell her why he is quiting . He should advise her to change her ways so that this kind of break up won't happen to her in the future. That advice will go a long way to restructuring the family . After such discussion, the guy should try as much as possible not to have any contact with the girl, because he could be charmed and that will be disastrous.

Cc histemple

You people are just laying the grounds for that man's murder. As soon as they find out he was the stumbling block and the reason she lost her man, he's a goner.

I really don't think the man deserves whatever treatment his family is meting out to him. If they couldn't bear what he did to them in the past, they shud av just left him. Ur fiancée's mother could have left the marriage. It's better to say my parents are separated, than to stay with him and punish him. I don't like it when humans play God. Sammily, that lady's mum is very diabolical, marry her at ur own risk.

Lightening:


Telling her the reason might not be a good idea. She may just get back home and team with the mother and snuff life out of the poor father for driving a suitor away. I have observed that such unforgiving women blames everybody but themselves for their woes.

My point exactly.
Op should just quietly vanish. Sooner or later when other men run like that she'll figure things out by herself.



But wait o. If the poor man dies and she gets another suitor, that one won't get the chance this Op got to see what they r really like. He will now marry her and think he has a helpmate... Choi

baby124:

Look, no man can mistreat me and my children and even find my address when he is desperate ok? Her mother even tried giving him shelter. So after he must have abandoned them for ashawo and the mother did anything to raise her kids, she should now accept the cursed being into her life to keep eating her food and living from her sweat so he can resume carrying ashawo. Such things can never even happen in my home because my husband after messing up knows he cannot come back to tell me any story.

Don't change your ways, continue... The one wey go meet you for front de wait you? Small mistake you say? You call abandoning your family for another woman a small mistake Why did he go back to who he treated badly? Are his girlfriends all dead?

Some of you talk of conscience but do things to other's you cannot take. This man is reaping the fruits of his wickedness and you are talking to me about someone's conscience being dead? Is it not your conscience that is dead? For you to call such a big issue a mistake? Women should fear you! Leave your name, date of birth, photo and address so women can run from you!

E no go beta for the man we go do me or my daughters this kind thing. Thunder, lightening, brimstone! Sangoooo!!!

You speak with so much bitterness in your heart. Could it be...................?

When you want to marry a woman, know her mother.

smileysmiley:
op if I start to list the things popsy did to us when we were growing up ehn, you'll know that your father-in-law to be is just learning work, I don't want to go too far but I would like to let you know that he attempted to murder us, it was a family thing and every member of his family attacked us whenever they felt like it... left to me alone, I would have loved to deal with them now but mumsy is a very wise woman, she taught us that the best punishment to one's enemy is success... sorry to say but your fiancee and her mum are evil women, they've probably used black magic on the man sef.... you need to see how everyone including my father's family come out to welcome us anytime we visit, like we are royalty, we are done with schooling and we have our various success stories so everybody wants to come close.... popsy is very ashamed of himself now and he can't stay in the same place we are in, he always flee.... his brother was talking about a reconciliation the other day, now they are ready to beg....mumsy was able to achieve all these by being nice to them irrespective of what they did, it will make them feel more sorry and ashamed of themselves but treating them like trash will make them feel vindicated, like they are paying for their sins.... I don't hate my father, I just dislike what he did to us and no matter what happens, I can never treat him like trash so you had better run for your life my dear cause she couldn't even respect you enough to treat her father nicely in front of you

Quite touching!!! Hug your Mum for me when next you meet her. She deserves to be respected

@sammily..

Bro, I will be doing you bad if I ask you to still consider that family..

This was what my Boss personal guard failed to check before marrying his wife, the mother in law nd his wife ve done everything to relegate him to a house boy as they did to father in-law.

Since 1998, they wedded, they ve not both stayed in a room for a month, the wife prefers living with the mum in their family house, this was a game plan so that this friend of mine will move into the family house too.

Each time he visit, his supposedly wife cooks, dishes her food nd goes into her mother's room to eat leaving him out.

My brother, better run while it's early..

baby124:

Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has them. How many women will forgive such an act? You ask him to run? But let me tell you, 90% of women will do worse. The man is obviously a shameless man to come back to a place where he has desecrated. Any man with honor will never go back to a wife he mistreated. Forgiveness you say? Let me tell you now that most people may forgive, but will never forget. So factor that into all the rubbish you do, thinking people will always forgive and forget your bad behavior. Being an adult comes with responsibility and not messing up purposely and hoping people will accept you back with open arms.
You ask that be be treated with respect in front of a visitor? Did he ever treat the mother with respect? You say I am judging by one side of the story, but you asked the OP to run based on one side of the story too?! After discussing my point you say it has no basis. Wtf are you on about? You are confusing yourself.

You said it already "no right thinking man with honor will come back to the place he desecrated" so if the man actually did what the daughter accused him of, then he wouldn't have returned to his wife and be subjected to a mere houseboy. He would rather go farm in the village. So it's not about one sided story. The girl and her mum are the monsters here.

Seriuosly .... You still need advice....run and keep running and if need be fly if you can, habah..

What I will say is simply Oga run!!!!

I just learnt a big lesson from this story, one should be bold a enough to meet the family of whoever he/she is dating/courting, that way he/she gets to know a lot about the person he/she intends to marry.

ChappyChase:
House Boy 2 Loading...................

Thank God he even knows now reverse might have be the case.

Young man run as fast as ur legs could carry u. It takes alot to relegate a man. Its either the mum is strong or diabolic. Never u honour the second invitation. It hurts to quite a relationship after much scarifies but its hell to live with pain u saw the signs but ignored. Discuss this with ur dad or mum b4 further steps.

Truth is,when. U get. Married,her mumwill be her personal adviser,judging from wat is happening in her family now u can tell what it would be like when u get married to her cus tomorrow E FIT BE U OOO...
My advice: RUN!!!

mrdino:
I just learnt a big lesson from this story, one should be bold a enough to meet the family of whoever he/she is dating/courting, that way he/she gets to know a lot about the person he/she intends to marry.

Exactly o it is very important to know the kind of Family one is getting into before marriage....

YOUR FIANCEE AND HER MUM IS A WITCH NO FATHER DESERVES SUCH TREATMENT!!!

Flee!!!

jesussaves22:
Pls dont rush into that marriage now untill you have investigated things for yourself.

What else need to be investigated? Run!

o boy ruuuuuuuuun as long ur leg can take u. abeg

general111:
Op just use usain bolt style..i didnt say u shud run oh...

So na which him go come use nao? Ben Johnson style?..

general111:
Op just use usain bolt style..i didnt say u shud run oh...

So na which style him go come use now? Ben Johnson style?..

Godmother:
OP,

You've been to that house just once and even though you saw a lot, most times things are not always as they seem. I won't support your fiancee and her mom's attitude but at the same time I wouldn't advice you to take hasty decisions. Take out time to investigate the situation some more. Spend more time with the family and subtly dig for information before drawing your conclusions.

I won't investigate anything. This is one of those very few occasions one need to take an hasty decision. Delay in his decision making dangerous.
No one deserve to be treated this way

AuroraB:
Chai @houseboy . You got a point Bia, how many times you come quote me at a go

Sorry spanbot

5minsmadness:

My point exactly.
Op should just quietly vanish. Sooner or later when other men run like that she'll figure things out by herself.



But wait o. If the poor man dies and she gets another suitor, that one won't get the chance this Op got to see what they r really like. He will now marry her and think he has a helpmate... Choi

God bless you for this observation. The woman must have tried to kill the man but didn't succeed, that might be why they turned him into a slowpoke instead. And if you look closely, you will realize that the woman is probably responsible for her husband's financial predicament and present state.
I have seen a particular case where a woman secretly bought a parcel of land while her husband was struggling to roof a house he was building for his family. The man felt betrayed when he found out later and in anger, decided to openly keep a side chick as a revenge. Unfortunately, that was his greatest undoing as he was poisoned by his wife. It became an open secret that the woman killed her husband.
Years later, suitors came calling for her daughters and the woman presented the appearance of a meek widow. But after marriage, she starting controlling her children's marriages including those of her sons. So far, out of 5 marriages of her children, 4 have crashed while the 5th is being seriously threatened due to undue interferences and subtle controlling by the woman.
Op, God has been so kind to you. If you don't make the right conclusions from that man's situation, you will have yourself to blame in the future.

If you no longer believe in your fiancée you can leave her. There is no point judging she and her mom as terrible people yet trying to marry them it makes no sense as long as you have concluded in your heart that they are monsters then you have no business being there I only hope you tell her what caused your turn around.

From the way you described the man's action it seems to me that he relegated himself to the houseboy position why is he falling on the ground and thanking you for money? is the daughter to be responsible for raising her Dad to be a well behaved Father or the other way round. If he has lost all sense of manliness and dignity should the daughter turn herself to a healer or therapist to save him from himself?. I hope you learnt from what you saw because the lessons go two ways while she and her mom should have had the sense of decency to treat the man ok since they accepted him back men should also learn to be good husbands and Fathers so they don't end up as houseboys in their old age when strength is gone may be this is the reason you ever met her to learn this lesson and share the story with the rest of the world so thank you for sharing.

andromida:
If you no longer believe in your fiancée you can leave her. There is no point judging she and her mom as terrible people yet trying to marry them it makes no sense as long as you have concluded in your heart that they are monsters then you have no business being there I only hope you tell her what caused your turn around.

From the way you described the man's action it seems to me that he relegated himself to the houseboy position why is he falling on the ground and thanking you for money? is the daughter to be responsible for raising her Dad to be a well behaved Father or the other way round. If he has lost all sense of manliness and dignity should the daughter turn herself to a healer or therapist to save him from himself?. I hope you learnt from what you saw because the lessons go two ways while she and her mom should have had the sense of decency to treat the man ok since they accepted him back men should also learn to be good husbands and Fathers so they don't end up as houseboys in their old age when strength is gone may be this is the reason you ever met her to learn this lesson and share the story with the rest of the world so thank you for sharing.

Lol. Gbam. From this thread I see a lot of men are deluded about what they are and what they think they should be able to get away with. I guess they expect the mother to give her money to the father. Besides who is supposed to buy fuel for the house He is reading meaning into everything. Or is it because the mother did not give the money to the man in the background

Lol. Some people are crazy sha, you want to treat people terribly and demand that they treat you well because you are a spe*rm pourer. Where will that happen in this universe.

There was a story that a close friend told me about her family. That when the mother was having the 3 of them, she was not working. The father will bring all manner of girlfriends home, have sex with them in the parents bedroom and have her mother serve them food. He will beat the mother if she refuses. The mother now is a top staff somewhere while the father lost that job and he has been struggling to survive. All the girlfriends have dust their slippers and run. All this happened in her presence as she was the eldest. That girl is very messed up till today. Now if her father that messed them up comes back, imagine what they will do to the foolish man.

hmmm... this is a serious case though. no man deserves such treatment no matter his offence, afterall my dad didn't train me in school it was mom who bore d burden alone but dats not enough reason to be mean to my father. infact we all shud adore our fathers cos there are some peeps without fathers today but they still survived nd relay their songs of victories. @op if u ain't comfortable with d way ur supposed FIL is bn treated, just tell your fiancee in clear terms that you can't go on with her stating your reasons and fears because first impression matters alot nd she has failed in that aspect with the way she treated her own father in your presence. a mother and a daughter who could be soo mean to treat d man of the house like trash is capable of murder. thread cautiously and do what is right, just remember that it could be you in that man's position tomorrow

Kgdavid:


This piece is well written and meticulously edited. The story is strange and lacks salient facts. You took the time to upload a picture to add visual appeal.

I suspect that you, Mr. Op, are a writer testing your skills on the readily available sample.

Nice job though.

Its not story, this things happens often to some families that lack the fear of God. I know like two families that does this in my area. So its not African Magic or story, i always believe its a movie until i witness it myself. I went to visit my friend in their house and in my presence she sent a man to go and get me some drinks for me, when the man left i asked who he was and i was surprised when she said her Dad. I couldn't take the drink because i don't want any curse on my head.
The second family, one of their daughter want to get married so i went to the house to get aso-ebi very early in the morning. So i sat down to check the clothes, in my presence the mother shouted at their father and said in yoruba haven't you gone to grind the beans i want to use for moi-moi, the man panic and started running to grind the beans. I couldn't believe my eyes. Its not always natural, some women uses some spiritual forces to do this and Almighty God will make their sons suffer this too in the hand of a strange woman. You will surely reap what you sow.

8months and u av nt cared discuss family... BECAREFUL!

Honestly.....this is a clear case of juju at work. The man needs serious prayers from a fire brand pastor.

my dearest friend ......please run for your dear life....

no let sand sand enter your eye oooo!
our people say that whatever cane was used for the first wife (in this case husband) will be kept for the second.

Moreover, your wife to be is not a born again, so be prepared to be in bondage just like her father because her mother will definitely make sure you are kept in check just like her hubby turned houseboy.....
to be fore warned is to be fore armed

baby124:

Lol. Gbam. From this thread I see a lot of men are deluded about what they are and what they think they should be able to get away with. I guess they expect the mother to give her money to the father. Besides who is supposed to buy fuel for the house He is reading meaning into everything. Or is it because the mother did not give the money to the man in the background

Lol. Some people are crazy sha, you want to treat people terribly and demand that they treat you well because you are a spe*rm pourer. Where will that happen in this universe.

There was a story that a close friend told me about her family. That when the mother was having the 3 of them, she was not working. The father will bring all manner of girlfriends home, have sex with them in the parents bedroom and have her mother serve them food. He will beat the mother if she refuses. The mother now is a top staff somewhere while the father lost that job and he has been struggling to survive. All the girlfriends have dust their slippers and run. All this happened in her presence as she was the eldest. That girl is very messed up till today. Now if her father that messed them up comes back, imagine what they will do to the foolish man.

You know its very easy to judge and criticize people when you've not had their experiences. How else is the girl to turn out except as she is since its her parents she was learning from a runaway/broken down Daddy and a mom who was just trying to put one foot in front of the other during her formative years. If he can't he should free her.