yeah my family is here so i don't have to worry about people asking for anything

@poster

Dont be in a haste to judge most of them because majority of those abroad go home to naija and start showing off and spending like money grows on trees here whereas all they do is security work from 7am till 7pm including weekends so if someone goes to naija with all the flashy stuffs which by the way are bought on finance or contract phones people back home are bound to believe its all rosey here.

i tell my friends when i had the opportunity to go that, come forget the way people come back from uk and us and start forming levels and claiming big bois and girls and start oppressing as some of them na KPEKE dem dey do for london and security work and yahoo yahoo.

so the point am driving at is that its the way some people behave when they go home that makes others believes its all rosey here. not knowing that after paying rent, council tax, gas, electricity, water, food, topup, bt bill, not forgetting other sundry expenses like, loans, credit cards as well al those oweing to debt companys nothing is left and the litle left is to be managed

so my people when we go home always be honest with those back home and dont be shy or ashamed to tell them the true situation of things down here. period.

redsky1:

yeah my family is here so i don't have to worry about people asking for anything

Lucky you then

There is this old skool song by Donna Summer[b] ' She works hard for the money'[/b]

This is my principle. I can invest in people like contribute towards setting them up in life. But before I do that I will ascertain that they have acquired the skill. Or send them some items  to sell and share the profit with them.
But never send people feeding money. na na
If not they will play an oliver twist by keep asking for more

Una don forget say dem dey wire money for some people from nija.

FOR SOME REASON I CHANGE MY MOBILE DIGIT TWICE A MONTH,I STILL GET SOME SILLY MAILS,, NA LONG FINK,IS GOOD TO GIVE HAND WHEN YOU ARE SOLVENT ENOUGH NEVER PROMISE PEOPLE BACK HOME.
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

I have lived in the UK,US n then decided 2 come back 2 nigeria where i am doing better career n financial wise. i dont know wat kind of family u ve or wat kind of impression u ve given them but my family was really understandin n never made any demands n joyfully accepted wat i had 2 sent home as gifts.

truth is like others ve said. most Nigerians abroad live false lives n go back home 2 tell false tales wen we know dat 80% of them do menia jobs ranging from watchmen, cleaners, stayin in club toilets,care etc to survive. jobs they will never do back home. i mean NEVER.

also people need 2 understand that 95.5% of those based abroad r livin by credit. morgages etc. if they do they wont look at a house n cars been paid 4 over 30yrs n think people abroad r doing well.

my advice 2 those abroad is u should be able to explain 2 ur family n pals d true situation of things. wen u come home dont just tell d good stories tell of how u ate noddles 4 a week, how u slept in train stations lol. how u work 2 or 3 jobs. how u live in just a room in d big house they saw in ur pic. then n only then u will see a change.

my advice 2 those at home always makin demand. TRAVEL N SEE.

Most of abroad based people are just too stingy. Majority of them have 4gotten that it was by collective and communal effort that they were sent abroad in the first place. Once they settle down they will start to play God, forgeting when they depended on our prayers to excel.

It's natural.

Cos you leaving home was to look for a greener pasture. It is expected by those you left back home to beleive 'things are working'.

It is now in your hands. If things are the same as before you better come back home and nobody will be thinking you're on bed of roses.

oh my goodness,what all dis do u know how dey get dere and what det are dere for

See stingy people as dem dey complain,

This subject is very interesting.So money dont grow on trees abroad?Is not true.May be some of u abroad complaining have not been to the forest where such trees can be found.Just come and see how some of this our brothers abroad spend when they come to Nigeria for holiday.You will be tempted to sale all you have to travel abroad.So things are tough there too.Nawa oh.

chosen04:

Most of abroad based people are just too stingy. Majority of them have 4gotten that it was by collective and communal effort that they were sent abroad in the first place. Once they settle down they will start to play God, forgeting when they depended on our prayers to excel.

so becos they depended on ur prayers to excel they must answer to all ur whims and caprices abi? u forget that people abroad also have obligations that cannot afford to miss, like house rent, car insurance/travel expenses, phone bills, gas bill, tv license, water rate, on top of this they have food and clothings to consider. If they are married child care costs dey there as well, u sit down in naija lazign about expecting your slave to wire money to you for all sorts of things; the necessary stuff i agree to but some of the demands ppl make borders on pure madness, yet when u decline they come up with such daft comments as this.
The irony of life is that once these people come abroad and see things as they are their attitude soon changes,

chosen04:

Most of abroad based people are just too stingy. Majority of them have 4gotten that it was by collective and communal effort that they were sent abroad in the first place. Once they settle down they will start to play God, forgeting when they depended on our prayers to excel.

ah aha a, you really do make me laugh out loud, how do you mean ppl abroad are too stingy and depended on your prayers to excel?, abeg 4get that one who is praying for who, how many of our ppl in Naija can work the way we work here? A friend of mine just arrive recently and i do remember how he used to talk about been very hard working, he became very desperate for work after searcing for 3 months; now he got a job they asked him to do 5 night shifts in a row he rejected it immediately he said he's afraid to die young . Then i remind him how he used to ask us for money and how we use to work hard to send some money to him then,

if you think ppl abroad are stingy pls and I pray God will help you to get a visas MOVE abroad now as soon as possible and come and see for your self

Truth is life in Nigeria is better. I can understand it when those who do not have an experience of both worlds line up at the embassy to seek visas to enable them travel. They get out there and find out that you pay for every bit of utility and generally live in small apartment houses and suffer a level of second class 'citizenship' and in some cases with perpetual fright as to arrests and repatriation. I had long advised myself against even holidaying abroad for a long time to come (except my employer sends me on off-shore training in which case he pays). Having said that, you guys are always creating the impression that things are all rosy out there, when in truth all that works is the infrastructure and this works simply because you are fleeced of your earnings in the name of taxes. Now payment of tax is good, and you benefit from what they use the money for, but that is where it ends. I imagine how difficult it is to ask an average Londoner to spend a £100, an amount that is not enough for me and a pal or two to drink beer on our way out of the Island on a bad traffic day. Truth is quite  a few of the guys out there are doing well, the rest cannot come back because of the shame of having failed. BTW my company has recruited quite a number of these 'prodigal sons and daughters' who have come home in the wake of the recession and we could still employ more (except that the ones we employed are not even adding value self). In all, I for one do not ask people to send me anything ooo, in everyday terms i feel too good for that. And for those of you who are really feeling the pinch, please swallow your pride, climb down your high horse and come back home. THis is 9ja, this is Africa, we never reject our own, we will provide you succour. HARDBODY SAY SO,

I believe the sole problem here is information. Because those that are back home dnt know, they go ahead with what they do know and what they do know come from gists here and there abt those that have/are doing otherwise and showing off; instead of telling the truth.

when you left home for  abroad,their uncles,aunties,brother's and sister's contributed for your travelling papers etc,so it is time to pay back or simply come back.

hardbody:

Truth is life in Nigeria is better. I can understand it when those who do not have an experience of both worlds line up at the embassy to seek visas to enable them travel. They get out there and find out that you pay for every bit of utility and generally live in small apartment houses and suffer a level of second class 'citizenship' and in some cases with perpetual fright as to arrests and repatriation. I had long advised myself against even holidaying abroad for a long time to come (except my employer sends me on off-shore training in which case he pays). Having said that, you guys are always creating the impression that things are all rosy out there, when in truth all that works is the infrastructure and this works simply because you are fleeced of your earnings in the name of taxes. Now payment of tax is good, and you benefit from what they use the money for, but that is where it ends. I imagine how difficult it is to ask an average Londoner to spend a £100, an amount that is not enough for me and a pal or two to drink beer on our way out of the Island on a bad traffic day. Truth is quite  a few of the guys out there are doing well, the rest cannot come back because of the shame of having failed. BTW my company has recruited quite a number of these 'prodigal sons and daughters' who have come home in the wake of the recession and we could still employ more (except that the ones we employed are not even adding value self). In all, I for one do not ask people to send me anything ooo, in everyday terms i feel too good for that. And for those of you who are really feeling the pinch, please swallow your pride, climb down your high horse and come back home. THis is 9ja, this is Africa, we never reject our own, we will provide you succour. HARDBODY SAY SO,

who is fighting arrest abeg stop painting us with the same brush - some of us are legit ok.

no where is better than the other - but when the mentality of Nigerians change things will be better. if our leaders where not so bloody greedy and evil they would leave something in the treasury for basic infrastructure - how can in 2009 people still don't have light and water. na wah o

I dont understand that ooo, I have 24 hours light and water (using my generator and solar panel, and for water i use borehole). I honestly do not need government for me to exist, and same goes for most of my brethren here. Now if you feel so strongly about the leadership of this country, why dont you come back and let us fight to effect the change. Sitting down in a country made sane by another man doesnt provide a solution to your problems. Sad thing is we, alongside other immigrants are beginning to screw up their own economy too. Bros Come back home make we rough am together.

hardbody:

I dont understand that ooo, I have 24 hours light and water (using my generator and solar panel, and for water i use borehole). I honestly do not need government for me to exist, and same goes for most of my brethren here. Now if you feel so strongly about the leadership of this country, why dont you come back and let us fight to effect the change. Sitting down in a country made sane by another man doesnt provide a solution to your problems. Sad thing is we, alongside other immigrants are beginning to screw up their own economy too. Bros Come back home make we rough am together.

how many people have this.

The problem is that Africans wether native or descent are wrongly natured to flamboyance and false lifestyle. It is evident in every facet of our lives. We nip a little success in the bud next we want to throw an elaborate party. We are going overseas we sure must party over it. You return from an overseas trip u call for a get together. You go abroad next you are stuffing up junk food and get bloated, go shoot some photos and send back home so we say u r living large. Why wouldnt these show offs not send the wrong signal to the poverty stricken mind of those at home who think the streets of the western world are paved with gold and precious stones.
Most Nigerians abroad who even 'do well' as we refer to people who have money to flaunt are involved in illegal and illicit transactions ranging from credit card fraud to drug peddling. I have quite a good number of friends schooling and / or working abroad yet i get to wire them funds often from my domiciliary account.
I hope people back home wake up to the reality of the excrutiating pains our brothers go through overseas to eke a living. God be with us all as we move to change our orientations.

^^^^ You are talking jare.

@tonjoan

you said it all, i cant agree more.

The solution is to let those of us home people really know how it is over there. Why won't people make all sorts of demands when you send photos of you standing near flashy cars and buildings and not disputing it when they ask whether those belong to you? Why won't home people harass you when at every opportunity you claim you are living in heaven? Even in NL, we are reminded frequently that our lives here are rotten if we live in Naijaland.

Are the diaspora guys too embarrased to let us really know how is it there? Some of us home girls already know but you out there keep denying anything is wrong with the way you live there. Start coming out with the truth which is that life is also not too easy there even though there is light always.

Stand in front of your New York face-me-I-face-you and take photo and send. Also consider snapping photo in that you Sevilla room (with 12 occupants). Let the squalor really show and the calls may reduce. You are the main cause of your problems. OUT WITH THE TRUTH.

Marymos:

This subject is very interesting.So money dont grow on trees abroad?Is not true[i].May be some of u abroad complaining have not been to the forest where such trees can be found.[/i]Just come and see how some of this our brothers abroad spend when they come to Nigeria for holiday.You will be tempted to sale all you have to travel abroad.So things are tough there too.Nawa oh.

U tell 'em bro!

Honestly though, the issue of coping with financial demands is not exclusive to guys abroad. I daresay it is less on them because some may not like to pay for international call rate to press home their demand. Home based guys get sponged on regular basis and they dont even need to call you. They could just drift into your house unannounced and even if you dont have anything to give, you have to at least pay for the Trans! It could be irritating, I agree but hey! Times are hard on some of our brothers and sisters. The jobs are not even there, so its not like everyone who ask is lazy. Dont give if you cant afford to, but dont be judgemental on those who beg. It is a blessing to be begged and not a beggar.

u lot are so funny - i have told people countless times that if the only people u know that are doing well are into illegal things then find a new group of friends - i am lucky and my family is here so i don't get those calls but i do get the odd person ask for stupid stuff like laptop and ipod and phone.

so of us are doing very well thank you - and yes i always tell people how we pay bills here. at least i will not be scared of my sisters here in uni turning to aristos just to make ends meet or just out of pure greed like a lot of our fine young ladies back home.

for those that send - sorry o. for those that pretend that money grows on trees here - more fool u - but for those hating on those abroad - i pity u

i wan deviate from the topic small. u guys make it sound like living in this developed countries is harder than living in nigeria. una knw say most nigerians dey live under 1$ a day? is it so in your own case? me dey earn N9500/month, thats about $65. is that not ridiculous 4 una end there? so make una no too blame them wen they ask 4 things. its wen they ask 4 outrageous things , or too frequently dat u can talk. but make una no ever tell us say e no easy, cus we know say e easy relative 2 naija. if una pay all una bills finish , its guaranteed that u go enjoy wetin u pay for. insurance, health, power, gas etc. we dey pay nepa bill upon say light no dey(or dem go cut wire wey u cary mony buy, go sell)

the bottom line to all these is honesty and openness! if things are not okay, just spit it out. why live a false live.i went to US and spent three monthe there. i had to come back because i felt i was living far lower than i was in Nigeria. i had to willingly come back. my brother in law lives in the UK and what my wife gets from him in a year is 100 pounds whenever the in laws are coming back. no one makes an extra demand because we all know the the situation of things. as my mother in law will say, if things are difficult in Nigeria, why cant it be in other places.
that one is outside the country doesn't mean live will be definitely rosier. it only means you have better opportunities( to an extent)

Hahahahahaha

Anybody asking me for money is WASTING THEIR TIME!
I'm still a student, even when I finish, they are still WASTING THEIR TIME!
No, before una go start to dey judge me, sey i dey stingy, this and that, listen yooorrrr,
We Nigerians need to be SMART! Why would you spend your hard earned money, n give it to some random distant person (cousin) that will just blow it away??
For me, I am forever indebted to my immediate family, parents, siblings etc. They paved the way for me to come here, they dont even need to ask for anything, as soon as $$ start to dey enter my hand, I will be sending it STEADY TO THEM.
Till date, they HAVE NOT asked for anything from me, and I doubt if they ever will. Now, that is motivation for me to give EVEN MORE!
Talk less of when they ask me, THEN i know that the NEED IT even more, and then thats EVEN MORE MOTIVATION for me to give!
Naija pple, let us be smarted. You think life is easy here? hahahaaha think twice. You know how many of our brothers go dey hustle to come here, and now what are they doing? Cleaning toilets in the subway, cab drivers etc etc, then before they will go back to naija for xmas or something, they will get a LOAN from the bank , and then go and flambouyant in naija like say money dey lol, some people are really not smart. They na back to sufferation when they get here to try and pay it off.

As for me, I will only give you money if you are not bugging me 24/7. If you are, you are just wasting your time. I be naija man too, i sabi how to play you well well.
but if you NEED it, and the money is for something useful, productive and preferably for family, then its a no brainer for me. I will do whatever I can.
PEOPLE BE SMARTER!!!

Naija is a wonderful place, the only thing lacking is security and amentities. TO the guy above that said he has life and water 24/7, not everyone has it, and when u eventually wanna spend ur money, u'll be target for robbers and all. Lose-lose situation.
Here, they will give you money, but they usually take a lot of it back in subtle payments and such. Thats what our naija brodas dont seem to be able to comprehend.

Nezan:

^^^^ You are talking jare.

Thanks

hardbody:

@tonjoan

you said it all, i cant agree more.

I enjoy ur views too

come chop abeg tell them

i think what a lot of our people suffer from is inferiority complex - why else will u be doing cleaning job, security or underground job then take loan to pose for naija once every 2 years. its all about posing fake life, what designers ur wearing what car ur driving.

chei i dey laugh - i don't believe in all that fake life and showing off - when i go to Nigeria highest i will get my nails done - as for dressing or posing what for. I live a comfortable life, i'm content with what i have so why the fake flossing.

if extended family want to hate me cos i don't send them money or expensive gifts that is their own. i work for everything I have so they should to - if they need to be asking me for ipod it means its not for them - afterall we all have to make sacrifices - i'm giving up a short break in the Mediterranean next month for a new laptop. or should i do what some lazy peeps do and ask someone to buy one for me.

Because money grow froom trees there, y are u there if not to hussle?Abeg make una send money come house