princemillla:
ME : Guy, the exam result are out letz go and see
GUY : Mhiz Lara Akinola pls check mine am with my dad can't go out right now..
ME : Aiit.
GUY : if itz bad text "Good morning", if itz really bad text "Good morning to u nd ur dad"
------later----
GUY : hw is it
ME : Good morning to u, ur family and to ur whole village
--------------------------------
Hahahahaha

Cc lalasticlala let's my people laugh small biko

princemillla:
Pay attention

First year University of Ghana medical studentsy were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table.
The Professor, Mwangi started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, "The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body." For example, he inserted his FINGER in the dead body's ANUS & put the finger in his own mouth & TASTED it.
Then he told the students to do what he did. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's ANUS & tasted it. When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they were all Frowning...
Then the professor looked at them & said: "The most important 2nd Quality is "Observation". I inserted my MIDDLE finger but tasted the 2nd finger... Now learn to pay attention!!
"ALL the students fainted!!
.
.
_Happy Sunday_...fellaz
.

Dcaliphate:
Android phones can be so annoying. Just received a notification that my Bible app needs an update. For what exactly? Has Adam eaten another Apple?

princemillla:
Need for projector in churches

Advice to all churches!
Buy projectors and display lyrics of songs for
members lest they murder songs in such
manner as these :
>Jehovah is Your name (2ce)
19 Warriors, 8 in Battle, Jehovah is Your name


>You are handsome in this place mighty God
>We go de hee, hee your name debade, holiday,holiday (we go dey hail your name day by day all the way)
>Email, email her, email her, Jehovah mail her. Ayinekele gymnastic email her, email her, Jeho email her

Kikikikikikik wahala dey oooo

princemillla:
The full meaning of (I AM FINISHED)

When you lock the door to kill a snake and NEPA just take the light

You are done!

emmabest2000:
Man U fans.....

timoteus:
JUST IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS CONVERSATION:

Several men were in the changing room of Ikoyi Golf Club in Lagos.

Then a mobile phone on a bench rang and a man engaged the hands free speaker-function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stopped to listen.

MAN: "Hello.

WOMAN: Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?

MAN: Yes.

WOMAN: What’s wrong with your voice darling?

MAN: Nothing really, just tired!

WOMAN: Ok. I am at the Shoprite shopping mall inside wranglers and found this beautiful Versace leather coat. It's only =N=119,000. Is it OK if I buy it?

MAN: Sure,…go ahead if you like it that much.

WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2016 model and it's unbelievable. Should I order it for my 35th birthday? Pleeeese?

MAN: How much?

WOMAN: N38 million.

MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking N148.5m. Remember Its at Victoria Garden City, the house is so beautiful!

MAN: Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of =N=148,000,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 500 thousand. It really is a pretty good price.

WOMAN: OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!

MAN: Bye! I love you, too.

The man hung up. The other men in the changing room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape...

He smiles and asks: "Does anyone know the owner of this phone?"

princemillla:
Pay attention

First year University of Ghana medical studentsy were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table.
The Professor, Mwangi started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, "The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body." For example, he inserted his FINGER in the dead body's ANUS & put the finger in his own mouth & TASTED it.
Then he told the students to do what he did. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's ANUS & tasted it. When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they were all Frowning...
Then the professor looked at them & said: "The most important 2nd Quality is "Observation". I inserted my MIDDLE finger but tasted the 2nd finger... Now learn to pay attention!!
"ALL the students fainted!!
.
.
_Happy Sunday_...fellaz
.

soberdrunk:
This is a true life story but i just want to share and laugh it off----- I came back home after a long day and my craving for a puff was off the roof so i walked down the road to the 'aboki kiosk', i asked the aboki for a packet of 'Dorchester' and he replied "walahi Dorchester i nor dey only Benson", i asked for a single stick and he replied "Oga nah dat man way siddon for bench for corner take the last stick". Any true smoker knows that when that menthol craving hits, you cannot help but cure it and i was too tired to drive out again plus it was late in the night so i walked up to the guy on the bench and asked if i could share with him and he agreed. As i put the cigarette in my mouth i felt the saliva in the filter but it was too late as i already dragged it and the craving was too strong so i continued, suddenly a car turned into the street and the bright lights from the lit up the whole street so i decided to even look at the kind gentleman that shared his stick with me, the first thing i noticed was the "thick" very dirty dreadlocks, then i noticed the church banner he wrapped around his body and then it hit me that i just shared a saliva soaked cigarette with a "MAD MAN".

princemillla:
Education is the key!


When we were growing up they used to tell us that education is the key to success, now we have that key only to find out that
the government has changed the padlock. Smh

princemillla:
Education is the key!


When we were growing up they used to tell us that education is the key to success, now we have that key only to find out that
the government has changed the padlock. Smh

timoteus:
JUST IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS CONVERSATION:

Several men were in the changing room of Ikoyi Golf Club in Lagos.

Then a mobile phone on a bench rang and a man engaged the hands free speaker-function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stopped to listen.

MAN: "Hello.

WOMAN: Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?

MAN: Yes.

WOMAN: What’s wrong with your voice darling?

MAN: Nothing really, just tired!

WOMAN: Ok. I am at the Shoprite shopping mall inside wranglers and found this beautiful Versace leather coat. It's only =N=119,000. Is it OK if I buy it?

MAN: Sure,…go ahead if you like it that much.

WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2016 model and it's unbelievable. Should I order it for my 35th birthday? Pleeeese?

MAN: How much?

WOMAN: N38 million.

MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking N148.5m. Remember Its at Victoria Garden City, the house is so beautiful!

MAN: Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of =N=148,000,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 500 thousand. It really is a pretty good price.

WOMAN: OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!

MAN: Bye! I love you, too.

The man hung up. The other men in the changing room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape...

He smiles and asks: "Does anyone know the owner of this phone?"

princemillla:
A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. ..............
Moral : Accompany ur wife.....
The story continues....The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card..........
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.
Story continues....Wife took out her husbands credit card from purse and swiped. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.
Moral: Don't underestimate the power of a WIFE..
Still continues...After swiping, the machine indicated 'ENTER OTP SENT TO YOUR MOBILE'..
Moral: When Man tends to lose, machine is smart enough to save him!
Still continues....When she turned back with depression, her mobile ringed showing forwarded SMS "your OTP is......"Finally she bought her items & returned back happily.
Moral: not all men are bad. Good men always put their families first at all times.