Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time - Jokes Etc (6)

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Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time - Jokes Etc (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Crixina(f): 2:16am On Oct 24, 2016

M17CXi:
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last
instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even
a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to
lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in
the nude.

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?", calls out one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a male voice from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other, shrug, and deciding that no
harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open
the door.
"Nice tits, sister," says the man, "Where do you want these blinds?

Good pun just like the skip a day post.

2 Likes

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Livefreeordieha(m): 5:18am On Oct 24, 2016

[Can you imagine, I saw my neighbour fighting his friend.. when I heard what happened, I was shocked, people can be very annoying sha... How would you borrow somebody shirt and then slim fit it? author=princemillla post=50443645]
WEDDING INVITATION
Dear Friends, fans and lovers, Finally the long awaited day is here with us! I invite you and your family to my wedding that will take place on 5th November, 2016 at Oladimeji street , behind Mokland hotel, Idiroko road, toll gate Ogun state The big and
special day begins at 10am. Your presence will be our joy and will be highly appreciated. See you there. Please broadcast as received. I also don't know who sent it to me............. cheesy

[/quote]

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Livefreeordieha(m): 5:19am On Oct 24, 2016

princemillla:
Education is the key!

When we were growing up they used to tell us that education is the key to success, now we have that key only to find out that
the government has changed the padlock. Smh

Can you imagine, I saw my neighbour fighting his friend.. when I heard what happened, I was shocked, people can be very annoying sha... How would you borrow somebody shirt and then slim fit it?

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by princemillla(m): 6:48am On Oct 24, 2016

suzan404:
,Your dad is dark ,
Your mum is dark,
They gave birth to a dark child 㰊OK now You turned 20 years and you became fair 㰮
Sista WHY?
Is your dad's sperm a Chameleon or u are a Chameleon,,

Hahahahaha someone change the sperm ni

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Hez143(m): 6:56am On Oct 24, 2016

suzan404:
,Your dad is dark ,
Your mum is dark,
They gave birth to a dark child 㰊OK now You turned 20 years and you became fair 㰮
Sista WHY?
Is your dad's sperm a Chameleon or u are a Chameleon,,

That's called adaptation for survival!! Lol

1 Like

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Nobody: 7:53am On Oct 24, 2016

emmabest2000:
Man U fans.....

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Nobody: 7:59am On Oct 24, 2016

An old woman was walking down the street with her little grand daughter. As little children do, the little girl started running faster than her grandma could keep up. So the woman started callin her "degree, degree! Degree come back here right now". I was so shocked at the weird name that I had to walk up to the woman and ask her why her grand daughter is called degree. Her answer was "well I sent my daughter to the university and this is the certificate she came back with"
grin

4 Likes

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by klarke(m): 8:40am On Oct 24, 2016

princemillla:
The full meaning of (I AM FINISHED)

When you lock the door to kill a snake and NEPA just take the light

You are done!

I'll use touch na

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by GreatManBee: 8:51am On Oct 24, 2016

princemillla:
Pay attention

First year University of Ghana medical studentsy were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table.
The Professor, Mwangi started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, "The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body." For example, he inserted his FINGER in the dead body's ANUS & put the finger in his own mouth & TASTED it.
Then he told the students to do what he did. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's ANUS & tasted it. When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they were all Frowning...
Then the professor looked at them & said: "The most important 2nd Quality is "Observation". I inserted my MIDDLE finger but tasted the 2nd finger... Now learn to pay attention!!
"ALL the students fainted!!
.
.
_Happy Sunday_...fellaz
.

1 Like

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by GreatManBee: 8:51am On Oct 24, 2016

princemillla:
Last befor I vommooozeee go my dreamland....

Kitchen items
Teacher: mention 3 things dat can befound in d kitchen...
Ojo: pot
Teacher: good!
Amina: stove
Teacher: awesome!
Akpos: Aisha
Teacher: y Aisha?
Akpos: coz she belongs 2 d kitchen
Teacher: ar u sick?
Akpos: ask our president

Have a blessed day fellaz

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by allytinted: 9:28am On Oct 24, 2016

How to greet a Manchester United fan

just say: Ekú ojó méta.

and he will answer: Ojó kan pèlù

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by princemillla(m): 10:14am On Oct 24, 2016

klarke:

I'll use touch na

Oyo is ur case

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by humblemikel(f): 10:49am On Oct 24, 2016

princemillla:
Education is the key!

When we were growing up they used to tell us that education is the key to success, now we have that key only to find out that
the government has changed the padlock. Smh

mine mine mine!!!, i almost fell off my chair.
this is one hit of a boom joke.
thanks for making my day.

1 Like

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by CertifiedFreak(m): 11:08am On Oct 24, 2016

harlayoh:

Eyah.. He should have bought sprite and and fetch water into the second plastic..

Never knew that Einstein.

2 Likes

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by bobochem: 12:39pm On Oct 24, 2016

princemillla:

WEDDING INVITATION
Dear Friends, fans and lovers, Finally the long awaited day is here with us! I invite you and your family to my wedding that will take place on 5th November, 2016 at Oladimeji street , behind Mokland hotel, Idiroko road, toll gate Ogun state The big and
special day begins at 10am. Your presence will be our joy and will be highly appreciated. See you there. Please broadcast as received. I also don't know who sent it to me.............

I remember lastweek wen my broda was duin naming ceremony a lot of people attended d ceremony - d number of uninvited people was higher than d invited people

1 Like

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by princemillla(m): 1:04pm On Oct 24, 2016

humblemikel:

mine mine mine!!!, i almost fell off my chair.
this is one hit of a boom joke.
thanks for making my day.

Pls don't fall ooooo... Make oga no come arrest me o

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Reeberry: 2:45pm On Oct 24, 2016

Dcaliphate:
Android phones can be so annoying. Just received a notification that my Bible app needs an update. For what exactly? Has Adam eaten another Apple?

You should have put a link to that thread you got it from. undecided

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Dcaliphate(m): 3:00pm On Oct 24, 2016

Reeberry:
You should have put a link to that thread you got it from.

Yea, like a reference in APA style like every other poster did.... undecided

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Reeberry: 4:19pm On Oct 24, 2016

Dcaliphate:

Yea, like a reference in APA style like every other poster did....

Not EVERY other poster. You got yours through Nairaland. undecided

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by TheFreeOne: 5:54pm On Oct 24, 2016

Recession is just a word? but don't forget to train your child in the art of eating cos it's biblical too. grin

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by avicky(f): 6:15pm On Oct 24, 2016

tosyne2much:
The thread actually made my evening too. BTW, so I nobody it follow girl play again abi?

why should you? Girl na toy? Abi dem no buy toy for you when you dey small

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by tosyne2much(m): 6:37pm On Oct 24, 2016

avicky:

why should you? Girl na toy? Abi dem no buy toy for you when you dey small

You no fit compare the kind toy wey dem buy for me as a kid with this kind toy nah tongue

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by avicky(f): 6:47pm On Oct 24, 2016

tosyne2much:
You no fit compare the kind toy wey dem buy for me as a kid with this kind toy nah

you don't mean it.

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by tosyne2much(m): 11:04pm On Oct 24, 2016

avicky:

you don't mean it.

Look at you... Smh tongue

How ur teaching job now?

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by jennifer22(f): 11:30pm On Oct 24, 2016

Omg abeg make una sorry for me ohhh say laugh won kill me

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Dcaliphate(m): 7:22am On Oct 25, 2016

Reeberry:
Not EVERY other poster. You got yours through Nairaland.

Nigga get a life.

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Vaxt(m): 8:37am On Oct 25, 2016

So funny

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Reeberry: 10:06am On Oct 25, 2016

Dcaliphate:

Nigga get a life.

I have a life already, it's you who need to get a life nigga.

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by FakoMaybach1: 11:33am On Oct 25, 2016

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!"
A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam."
The pastor buys a couple of fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish.
The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish.
Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish.
He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.

A man walks out on his front porch one day and sees a gorilla in the tree on his front lawn. He calls animal control and about an hour later a man shows up with a ladder, a pit bull, and a shotgun. The animal control employee tells the man, "I'm here to get the gorilla out of your tree.
I'm going to use this ladder to climb up the tree and shake the branch the gorilla is on to knock him to the ground. The pit bull is trained to go after anything that falls from the tree and bites their balls which will weaken the animal down so I can put him in the truck." The man says "Okay, I see what the ladder and the pit bull are for but what is the shotgun for?" The animal control employee says, "Oh, that's for you. In case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla, nwanne shoot the dog."

3 Likes

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by Mcoldsoja(m): 1:31pm On Oct 25, 2016

suzan404:
,Your dad is dark ,
Your mum is dark,
They gave birth to a dark child 㰊OK now You turned 20 years and you became fair 㰮
Sista WHY?
Is your dad's sperm a Chameleon or u are a Chameleon,,

Na evolutionary metamorphosis.

Re: Some Jokes To Keep You Healthy In This Recession Time by avicky(f): 3:43pm On Oct 25, 2016

tosyne2much:
Look at you... Smh

How ur teaching job now?

Fine oh. Dieu merci.

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