princemillla:
ME : Guy, the exam result are out letz go and see
GUY : Mhiz Lara Akinola pls check mine am with my dad can't go out right now..
ME : Aiit.
GUY : if itz bad text "Good morning", if itz really bad text "Good morning to u nd ur dad"
------later----
GUY : hw is it
ME : Good morning to u, ur family and to ur whole village
--------------------------------
Hahahahaha

Cc lalasticlala let's my people laugh small biko

M17CXi:
One day, Heaven suddenly became extremely full, and something had
to be done. So The Lord decided to have St. Peter wait at the gate
and ask everyone how they died. If it was a grisly story they told,
they could go ahead into Heaven. But if not, they had to go to Hell.
The first man walks up and St. Peter tells him what's happening.
"You see, Heaven is quite full today, and we have to ask everyone
how they died. If it sounds good, you can go ahead. But if not,
you go to Hell."
"Ok," the man says. "Well, for awhile I'd been suspecting my wife
of cheating on me. So today I thought I'd leave work early and
catch her. Sure enough, I got to my apartment and she was lying
naked on the bed. I ran all over the apartment searching for the
man but couldn't find him.
Then I remembered that we lived on the 25th floor of an apartment
building, and we have a balcony. And there was the man, hanging
off my balcony. I beat at his hands and he just wouldn't let go,
so I ran and got a hammer and beat his hands until he fell into
the bushes below. I saw he was still alive so I got the
refrigerator and pushed over the edge on top of him. But the
strain of the effort gave me a heart attack and I died.
"Wow!" St. Peter said. "That really is bad! You can go ahead..."
The next man walked up and St. Peter gave his spiel about Heaven
being full and the man would have to tell his story.
"Ok," the second man said. "So I live on the 26th floor of an
apartment building, and everyday I do exercises on my balcony.
Well, today I fell over the edge, but luckily I caught the railing
of the balcony below me."
"Suddenly, this man came running out and started beating at my
hands. He ran back inside and I thought I was safe, but then he
came back out with a hammer and beat my hands again. I finally
fell off, but luckily I landed in the bushes below and they saved
my life. But that wasn't enough for the man because he pushed his
refrigerator over the edge and it landed on me and killed me.
And now I'm here."
"Wow, that's a good one too! You can go ahead..."
The third man walked up and St. Peter again gave his spiel about
Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story of how
he died.
"Ok," the third man said. "I don't know what happened. I was
hiding naked inside this refrigerator..

Lawcurrent:
Some lawyers can lie for Africa sha.
A married lawyer made love to his girlfriend inside his car one day, on getting home, his wife saw the girls pant in the car. She got mad and tore it to pieces screaming; honey! Honey!! What is
this? So u r cheating on me...
.
The lawyer calmly replied; my God honey, you have jst destroyed evidence of a rape case worth millions of naria. She quickly fell on her knees apologizing; honey pls forgive me God wil bring another client.

dreezybines:
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She
got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom
calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called
your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair."
The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey
has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said, "That’s nothing;
mine is already eating bananas."

princemillla:
It was my first tym on a date . I asked her out and she agreed. We went to a nearby park for a chat. I searched in my pocket its only a hundred naira note I got . I knew i had to buy us something. As a man I gats make a plan. I told her to wait for me when I went to buy us drinks.With my hundred naira note. I bought only 1fanta can. I took an empty sprite can and poured water direct from the tap. I went back to my lady .A smile appeared on her face as she said... "Oh my lovely man how could u know that sprite is my favorite..I hate fanta... Hahahaha wettin u for do if na u

princemillla:
ME : Guy, the exam result are out letz go and see
GUY : Mhiz Lara Akinola pls check mine am with my dad can't go out right now..
ME : Aiit.
GUY : if itz bad text "Good morning", if itz really bad text "Good morning to u nd ur dad"
------later----
GUY : hw is it
ME : Good morning to u, ur family and to ur whole village
--------------------------------
Hahahahaha

Cc lalasticlala let's my people laugh small biko

princemillla:
Need for projector in churches

Advice to all churches!
Buy projectors and display lyrics of songs for
members lest they murder songs in such
manner as these :
>Jehovah is Your name (2ce)
19 Warriors, 8 in Battle, Jehovah is Your name


>You are handsome in this place mighty God
>We go de hee, hee your name debade, holiday,holiday (we go dey hail your name day by day all the way)
>Email, email her, email her, Jehovah mail her. Ayinekele gymnastic email her, email her, Jeho email her

Kikikikikikik wahala dey oooo

Dcaliphate:
Android phones can be so annoying. Just received a notification that my Bible app needs an update. For what exactly? Has Adam eaten another Apple?

bamisepeters:
so tosyne2much too is a clown? This the funniest of all...

princemillla:
Need for projector in churches

Advice to all churches!
Buy projectors and display lyrics of songs for
members lest they murder songs in such
manner as these :
>Jehovah is Your name (2ce)
19 Warriors, 8 in Battle, Jehovah is Your name


>You are handsome in this place mighty God
>We go de hee, hee your name debade, holiday,holiday (we go dey hail your name day by day all the way)
>Email, email her, email her, Jehovah mail her. Ayinekele gymnastic email her, email her, Jeho email her

Kikikikikikik wahala dey oooo

tosyne2much:
I could turn you to an extrovert you know?

Weirdman:
To my fellow United fans,I think we should have invested the money used in buying Pogba in MMM ....it would have matured to get Messi by now.......

amhealed:
That Awkward moment...........when you're laughing so hard with your crush.......then a HEAVY CATARRH jump out of your nose....
FADALURD TAKE MY SOUL
There's nothing scarier than using the toilet at your crush's place and it refuses to flush. You'll be starring at your shit like...pls go am begging you in the name of God just go ;
LWKMD

princemillla:
Pay attention

First year University of Ghana medical studentsy were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table.
The Professor, Mwangi started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, "The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body." For example, he inserted his FINGER in the dead body's ANUS & put the finger in his own mouth & TASTED it.
Then he told the students to do what he did. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's ANUS & tasted it. When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they were all Frowning...
Then the professor looked at them & said: "The most important 2nd Quality is "Observation". I inserted my MIDDLE finger but tasted the 2nd finger... Now learn to pay attention!!
"ALL the students fainted!!
.
.
_Happy Sunday_...fellaz
.

allytinted:
A new element has been added to the

PERIODIC TABLE

Name: Girl

Symbol: Gl

Atomic weight: Don't even dare to ask.

Physical properties:

*Boils at any time,

*Melts when handled with love and
care

*Very bitter when mishandled.

Chemical properties:

*Very reactive

*Highly unstable

*Possesses high affinity to gold, platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive items.
Nature:

*Money reducing agent.

*Volatile when left alone.

Occurrence:

Mostly found in front of the mirror.