FakoMaybach1:
The pit bull is trained to go after anything that falls from the tree and bites their balls which will weaken the animal down so I can put him in the truck." The man says "Okay, I see what the ladder and the pit bull are for but what is the shotgun for?" The animal control employee says, "Oh, that's for you. In case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla, nwanne shoot the dog."

This really cracked me off

Strictly for laughs.

Two friends were walking home and a lady happened to be blowing a kiss to one of them from the window of a storey building.
Their conversation went as follows:

Ahmed: Omo e be like say na me that babe dey blow kiss

UCHE: Guy leave that one jare, no mind am
(then the lady signaled to him to come)

Ahmed: Omo the babe dey call me sha

UCHE: Ogbeni, no go

Ahmed: why you go tell me make I no go? Fine babe like that dey call me, you say make I no go

UCHE: Guy abeg no go, no go (feeling pity)

(Ahmed ignored him and went over to the lady, she went to meet him and they both went upstairs. Suddenly as they were about to have fun, they heard a car honking.

Lady: (on opening the window) ha! That's my husband.

Ahmed: Yeh! Mo gbe ooo.

Lady: Don't worry, just pretend like you're the laundry man and iron these cloths (pointing at a heap of cloths).
Ahmed spent the whole day ironing clothes because the husband never left home again that day.
The next day he went over to his friend's place.

Ahmed: Omo, shey you know say na cloth I iron throughout yesterday.

UCHE: Shebi I tell you make you no go? All that cloth wey you iron so, na me WASH THEM

YourWife:


Hope u puked... I can't imagine

hey kai , 4wat na , infact I demand to see the faces of those beauties in ur Dp




They've got nice assets












So they have to be declared

































pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase I'd like to see their faces

amhealed:
That Awkward moment...........when you're laughing so hard with your crush.......then a HEAVY CATARRH jump out of your nose....
FADALURD TAKE MY SOUL
There's nothing scarier than using the toilet at your crush's place and it refuses to flush. You'll be starring at your shit like...pls go am begging you in the name of God just go ;
LWKMD

This piece just kept me laughing and I think it's the funniest on this thread. Thumb up bro how I wish I can dash you a thousand likes.

Interesting