intom:

GUYS,
IT DEPENDS ON THE KIND OF WIFE YOU HAVE.IF YOU TRUST HER,THERE IS NO PROBLEM IN THAT.IF YOU DONT, LOOK FOR ANOTHER WIFE,BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT LOVE ANOTHER  MAN TO 'HIT' YOUR AND YOU STILL MARRY  HER.

Forget trust, woman will always be woman, it is only God a man should trust. prevention is better than cure.

tkb417:

poor man

ure nt hapi they are helpin your wife, when she becomes pregnant, u want her to jump molues shey?

go and buy a car solo makinde and stop making noise

So he should go and steal money to buy a car for his wife. I wonder how some people think sef

Oloks:

Is either you don't trust her or u feel very in-secured in the relationship.

Mind you, if she wants to cheat on u, she can do it anytime, she doesn't need to g far to do that,

Sort yourself out not your wife.

If she cheats at his back is better

Why is everybody stressing TRUST. Is trust the issue here. No matter how your wife trusts you, you think she will be happy you going for lunch with a girl everytime. We are only able to behave ourself if we remove ourselves from things that would tempt us.

@Poster. This is not about trust, its about not putting her in a position that will make her tempted to fall for the colleague. Am sure if Samson was not spending time with Delilah he would not have given her the information he knew she wanted to use to destroy him.

Like ppl are suggesting try and get her a car and if you cannot, let her use public transport for now. am sure she won't the only one. Don't put her through unneccessary temptation.

theye said it all. some women ,especially the ones in the cities love fun and opportunities to cheat. i hope they dont get fond of each other and maybe,they may start with romantic gestures. u know the rest

@poster

when we were kids am sure some of us have accepted lifts from our neighbours going to work or their children going to the same school with us.

in regards to your wife getting lifts. i dont see anything bad in it after all the said man in question is her collegue. if you are not comfortable what you can do is strike up a relationship with the man in question i mean try and be friends with him. so at least yhat can ease your mind a bit and if you cant do it then you have to get your wife a small car to be pushing around thats if you cant afford a toks or new one. at least there are good clean naija used car that wont cost you much.

i used to accept lift from a female collegues at work when she used to work in my office but i am a very disciplined man and those evil thoughts will not cross my mind. and i know the same goes for my woman.sometimes i offer to contribute to the petrol money when she stops at the filling station to buy fuel.

  dont stress urself over nothing bearing in mind travelling on public transport in naija in the morning is always stressful and people always rush for bus.

would you prefer you wife queing at 7up busstop on a rainy day, hot weather waiting for bus while a collegue who might have an honest intention gives her a free lift to work every morning ?

but whichever way the devils is always lurking round the corner looking for who to devour. so dont let your wife always make it a habit of doing it everyday. if you have a car take her to work yourself or morestill arrange a taxi to drop her off and pick her back up after worl.

Is she coming home later than normal?
what's the big deal cos i seriously don't understand how you'd be married to someone but not trust them. The neighbour is definitely saving your ass some real bucks and not forgetting about the enormous stress your wife would have to go through if taking public transport everyday.
Car sharing should be a policy implemented in lagos to curb excessive traffic jams.

@Poster,

Has she giving you any reason to suspect her. Do you really know who you are married to? It is possible that the man [if he is not upright] may try to do some other thing, but if your wife is a reliable woman, she will back out and discontinue the follow.Or alternatively, discuss it with her and find another option.

Everybody is shouting TRUST,TRUST,TRUST.Is that the issue here.Atimes we do try to maintain what we are not.Question!.Why do some born again men or women fall?,are they not trustworthy?.Why are some men and women just becuase they found themselves alone in a lonely place say a room with only two of them,before you know it,it will become a story?,why is it that some married man/women that you claim they have the spirit of God in them and you can trust them,but all of a sudden you heard a different story?.Have you ever heard of a story of an opposite sex that come to preach to you the word of God in a lonely room,and before you know it, no wonder they will send both male and female to come for such work because Satan can strike you and something unbelievable will happen between them?.Now will you tell me that all these people are NOT TRUSTWORTHY or DONT have the spirit of God in them?.Please stop shouting Trust,trust,trust, for its not a matter of trust.What of some married men and women that are working in same place and are into office romance?,why does it happen?,can you believe if they tell you that your wife or husband do have romance in the office with his/her colleague.Dont you trust her/him?.Lets talk with sense of maturity for Satan is a wicked master.Anything can happen.Poster,pls think twice!!

well get her a car if you can afford it or if you have one alrdy give it to her and you can take the commercial bus to work period

Deputizing or praising a Psycho is tantamount to an enslaved Pshyco's sycophant. Wake up from yout inertia dude 190 is not a biggie but a small dude with a small change, that is why he is flaunting his fake Swagger,copy that? Big boy don't boast of materials, their materials talk for them, that's wassup Don't think car is part of materials,alright, skyscraper,investment, wardrobe that can buy 10 Japanese cars(190's 08 Camry) are real materials, that's wassup. Nairalanders, you copy that?

~ure the real noise maker
~i dont know 190 nor seen any 'swagger'
~this thread is not about material things and ill advise u stop throwing red herrings
~ur command and use of words are scintillating- from all indications and ur post above, ure the toady one in here

stick to topic and dont bore us with silly rants

i hope that put to rest all ur 'tales by midday'

cheerio mr jmmy choo

If u don't trust your wife enough to enjoy free ride from her colleague, then go ahead and put her in pudah and keep her at home. That you stop her from riding with her colleague or you buy her a car (+ driver, I believe u know how difficult it is  to drive in Lagos courtesy trafffic)  does not  stop anything if she would be unfaithful to her marriage.

For your peace of mind and the good of your marriage, bury your suspicion, otherwise you will begin to conjure untoward 'things' where none exist.

So he should go and steal money to buy a car for his wife. I wonder how some people think sef

appeal to higher reasoning and stop throwing conjectures or equivocations as the case may be with ya.

if uve got no solid points, be quiet.

we all cant be brilliant

u feel me mr dundee utd

From my own school of thot i do not see anything wrong in that considering the hardship people face in terms of transportation.
If the man is not comfy with the arrangement, he should either get one of these done
1. Get her a car
2. Make her self employed

buy your wife a car. simple

i don't even know what the issue is

if a man is giving her a ride then he will be worried

if a woman is giving her a ride he will be worried (after all it will not take a woman long to "advise" another woman to get her husband to buy her a car)

just get a car - doesn't need to be 2010 model

trust is not the basic thing hia. closness can always lead to somthing deeper. women are easily carried away by comforta nd closness. try and get ur wife a car or give her ride to her place of work or better still, let her be joing public transport nothing bad in public transport.

if you have the money buy her a car. if not, its hard but let her understand somethings and its really hard than what we are just writing here,its a matter of trust and if really the woman wants to be loyal/ same for the driver - man

This is getting Looney, when you got married, you married out of trust and love, now because someone is dropping and picking your wife up your acting like an unsecured Looney! Tell me would it be better if the person was a female colleague? Look someone who is going to play ball would play ball whether you drop and pick her up your self! You feeling this way shows that you don’t trust her in the beginning. Some said buy her a car, so what would you do if the role becomes reverse (she picking him up) at least he helped her so why can’t she help him. Look if you love her and trust her let her be, because if she’s going to cheat on you, even if you buy her a limousine she would still play away! Simple people need to wise up, I don’t know how people think, both my female managers one drives Porsche Cayman and one drives an 09 Volkswagen Beetle convertible, they drops me along the way, I don’t automatically think that I have won a lottery ticket. People are shallow in their thinking. About 10 years ago my friend bought a BMW 320i convertible for his girlfriend, gave her the keys on Friday and on Sunday she attended a party accompanied by another bloke thinking that people wont see her, the news got back to us guy so fast, we couldn’t believe it…….

omar22:

This is getting Looney, when you got married, you married out of trust and love, now because someone is dropping and picking your wife up your acting like an unsecured Looney! Tell me would it be better if the person was a female colleague? Look someone who is going to play ball would play ball whether you drop and pick her up your self! You feeling this way shows that you don’t trust her in the beginning. Some said buy her a car, so what would you do if the role becomes reverse (she picking him up) at least he helped her so why can’t she help him. Look if you love her and trust her let her be, because if she’s going to cheat on you, even if you buy her a limousine she would still play away! Simple people need to wise up, I don’t know how people think, both my managers one drives Porsche Cayman and one drives an 09 Volkswagen Beetle convertible, they drops me along the way, I don’t automatically think that I have won a lottery ticket. People are shallow in their thinking. About 10 years ago my friend bought a BMW 320i convertible for his girlfriend, gave her the keys on Friday and on Sunday she attended a party accompanied by another bloke thinking that people wont see her, the news got back to us guy so fast, we couldn’t believe it…….

thank u

Buy her a car, get her a driver, drop her off the office, put a high-tech monitoring device on her, blah blah blah.

You cannot stop a woman whose mind is made up to cheat on you.

Whilst she enjoys the comfort of riding to work in her colleagues car; You should "pray without ceasing"

a male giving a married female coleague of his a ride is no big deal.and shouldn't be a cause for alarm;if,i repeat only if the intention and motives are right.then it's cool!!

There is nothing bad in that. You people should stop behaving like early men.
what are you going to say about husbands who get rides from female colleagues?

as far as you are sincere and trustworthy then you have nothing to worry about.

I'm Supposing, you wouldn't run to nairaland seeking advice if you could afford to buy her a car now? In anycase, i share your feelings my brother. I must be very honest with you, from experience, i know that such gestures would usually make them closer and boost their intimacy. I think you should take the generality of the advice given here. It is expected that you trust her, if not  you wouldn't marry her. While i agree that you dont unnecessarily create room for temptation by allowing it, i think it will be unfair to her to subject her to the pains of going by public transport when she can easily join a colleague to the office. Like someone said, try and strike up some kinda friendship with the guy, atleast it might be hitting at his conscience if he's playing games with your wife, and consequently put a stop to it if at all something like that had been going on. Moreso, if she really wants to be shagging the guy, not joining him to work would not stop it. Above all, try to let your wife know how you feel about the arrangement, she may even decide on her own to stop following the guy if that will make you happy or come up with an alternative arrangement you will be comfy with.

Please try not to allow your mind run riot about your wife most times, hence you'd die of jealousy and mind you, she may not even mourn you for up to 6 months before some smart guys will start srewing her again. You need to learn to let things be attimes,

it could have happen the other way round too. my sweetie gave some bloke a lift the other day and midway into the journey he was trying to hookup with her to shag her!

Let me say I did something similar to this in 2007. I helped take a female colleague - who had no car at the time, home, almost everyday from work. My house is nearby. Let me add that the ''everyday'' thing was our undoing. My wife started complaining. - especially when I get home late. Wife was on maternity leave. Her hubby, I was later told, also complained that it was getting too much.

In the end, I got my fingers burnt - the fingers of both hands. LOL.

She has a car now. And her hubby picks and drops her off everyday, or so I think.

1. Talk to your wife about hw U feel. Thats what a trusting relationship is all about: open and honest communication
2. Discuss hw U both can handle the situation: a. wife stops taking ride b. hubby buys car for wife c. wife takes ride once in while d. hubby buys okada and takes wife to work
3. Pray (that is if U pray at all to any god or anything) about the situation in 2 above and be committed together to make it work.
4. Show her more love. Give her mind-blowing, terrific love-making sessions so that she thinks less of any other man, not to mention a bozo who is trying to get into her skirt in the name of 'ride to work'.
5. Repeat step 5 as often as you can.
6. If the rides must of necessity continue, join in one of them yourself and feel the atmosphere , that'll probably lessen your worry. Dote all over yor wife while in the ride: hw wonderful and loving she is. Dont sound like an inferiority-complex-ridden bloke while doing this.
7. If all of the above dont work, come back to Nairlaland.

a female school mate of mine is married and living close to my house and we work in the same company,one day she dropped me off to the office and since then I always stay away from her route to the office,a woman with short skirt driving very early in the morning in cold weather is enough opportunity for any silly thing to start.
@poster please talk to your wife,it is wrong,positively wrong to expose your wife's privacy,but let me use this forum to advice  our young men,if you do not know,touching another's wife is a great abomination even unto heaven

Trust? Yes, trust your wife! As your wife you should be able to know the type of temptation she can really resist. I can tell you giving women lift especially when their husbands got no car can sweep them of their feet and they will begin to get attached to a collegue in the office and before you know it somethin don dey happen there. All these people wey dey talk say make the man buy car for her if he is not comfortable with someone giving her wife a lift, u guys dont get it, I am sure even some of you no even get car self, lol Make una leave matter, small small things like this dey confuse some women ooh!

To tempt and lure a woman to do what she doesnt even intend to do especially when she is in marriage is easy especially when it has to do with material things the husband doesnt happen to have like in this case. Right now in my company there is a married woman in this case now who has succeeded in turning the brain of a male collegue around with some of these fantacies like making lunch from the house for him, picking and dropping him off from work, and I tell you this closeness has made the man forget his own family wife and children and is concentrating in making and keeping this office collegue company. This man's wife do come her fight tire, for where?, the woman collegue no send,

Some closeness can realy spark off some emotions and passion in people. Such thing like what the poster talked about have really wrecked many homes. At poster I will want you to keeep trusting your wife, see no evil and hear no evil.

FROM FREE RIDE
TO FREE SEX

PROTECT YA THINGY

Hehehe God bless the insecure man that will rather i jump molue everyday rather than get a lift from a colleague.
Poster you have only two options if you cherish the peace in your home, buy a car for her or live with it.

As a Science student then,i was made to understand that positive and negative forces attracts,or simply put,elctrostatic force of attraction takes place between forces of different charges(+ve and -ve charges) just as i withnessed in Ionic or Electrovalent bonding.My people,one thing is clear,closeness between objects of differents make(man and woman etc)brings out unexpected intimacy which can lead to anything.It may not be the fault of any of them,becuase it werent in their mind,but becuase of lonely regular closeness and talk,it can bring romantic intimacy between opposite sex.Believe it or not,it is real!!.For i am talking from statistical data and experience and not guess work.Women are easily lured into this trap because they believe in intimacy which makes them to feel that they are getting much love attention from such man,more than even their husband.Also,its not everything they discuss in office that they can discuss when they are coming to work.It gives them much opportunity for any secret talk than in the office.If you like believe it or not,i am still talking from experience.Have u ever invited a girl in ur house or a a private place where only you and she were there,and u were just discussing with her and all of a sudden,something happen( you know what i mean),and after the incident both you and the girl will start having guilty conscience on what u both did,because you dont know how it happened as it wasnt in your mind?.It is easier to AVOID temptation than fighting it!!!.

Hey, if you can get a car for your wife it will be better. But if you can not affort one let her go will commercial car "she knew you before you got married". Unneccessary nearliness may lead to anything. Becareful