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Red Ashes - Literature (120) - Nairaland

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The Ashes Of Love / Analysing Dialogue In Red Ashes By Chumzypinky / Hearts In Ashes (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Red Ashes by KinzyeWriter(m): 11:51pm On Mar 16, 2017
Booked
Re: Red Ashes by Pizzarooo(m): 3:29pm On Mar 17, 2017
Chumzypinky:
wait, is this the Pizzaro from coolval?
Yes ma... Itz me Pizzaro o
Re: Red Ashes by berhdo: 12:47am On Mar 19, 2017
Wot a useless story. Must it ends dt way
Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 7:22am On Mar 19, 2017
berhdo:
Wot a useless story. Must it ends dt way
so sorry it ended this way
Re: Red Ashes by yim(f): 1:15am On Mar 20, 2017
I hate tragedies, I wonder why he had to die. I wanted happily ever after cry. The story was nice.that Nene child angry no training
Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 6:52am On Mar 20, 2017
yim:
I hate tragedies, I wonder why he had to die. I wanted happily ever after cry. The story was nice.that Nene child angry no training
i hated tragedies too. And this is the first tym i'm writing a tragedic story. I dont even read tragedic stories. But check my new one "Tradition", it isnt tragedic. God bless you in and out dearie
Re: Red Ashes by ogunesan(m): 5:49pm On Mar 25, 2017
Am not surprise nor sad that the story ended in a tragedy way. That life, everything can not just be sweet there have to be unexpected event that won't go down well with us. .....Thanks for d wonderful story ma.
Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 8:26pm On Mar 25, 2017
ogunesan:
Am not surprise nor sad that the story ended in a tragedy way. That life, everything can not just be sweet there have to be unexpected event that won't go down well with us. .....Thanks for d wonderful story ma.
uwlc dear
Re: Red Ashes by EmpresFIDEL(f): 11:02am On Mar 26, 2017
the saddest story I av ever read.... I was expecting a happy ending..
Re: Red Ashes by susiivy(f): 11:14pm On Mar 26, 2017
@chumzypinky you are a great writer keep it up
Re: Red Ashes by humeeh(f): 12:57am On Mar 27, 2017
oh my my my!!
why I read this story??
actually that was because TheBlessedMan mentioned u as his wifey who injected him the potion of awesome-personified sweet story...
and I'm like oya lemme check the real pelzin work gangan!!
mehn!chumzypinky hope I got that right,been reading this story since 11am Sunday and I'm just through now,got me so glued to my phone I couldn't even chat with anyone on other medias today!!
God continue to overbless you with many many creative imaginations
you really balanced everything so well except the ending nani,amma sucker for happy endings too
and to all of those funny commenters!!Ogaaa u guys alone were superb!!
Chumzypinky!!More power!!Gbosa!!!
Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 8:40am On Mar 27, 2017
humeeh:
oh my my my!!
why I read this story??
actually that was because TheBlessedMan mentioned u as his wifey who injected him the potion of awesome-personified sweet story...
and I'm like oya lemme check the real pelzin work gangan!!
mehn!chumzypinky hope I got that right,been reading this story since 11am Sunday and I'm just through now,got me so glued to my phone I couldn't even chat with anyone on other medias today!!
God continue to overbless you with many many creative imaginations
you really balanced everything so well except the ending nani,amma sucker for happy endings too
and to all of those funny commenters!!Ogaaa u guys alone were superb!!
Chumzypinky!!More power!!Gbosa!!!
oh thanks dear. Oya ball in my other thread "Tradition" I promise to make this one a happy ending. Just because of you *winks*
Re: Red Ashes by humeeh(f): 8:43am On Mar 27, 2017
Chumzypinky:

oh thanks dear. Oya ball in my other thread "Tradition" I promise to make this one a happy ending. Just because of you *winks*
awwwnn!!thanks a lot ma!!ayam racing there now now!!
Re: Red Ashes by EpBerezi(m): 11:26am On Mar 28, 2017
This story got me glued to my phone for days now. Thank you for the story. Wasn't expecting any less. And its true. We live in a wicked world. Thank you. Can't wait to read more of your work.
Re: Red Ashes by dammypat(f): 7:45pm On Mar 29, 2017
Weldone ma! More inspiration from above,more ink to your pen and more grease to your elbow
Re: Red Ashes by Temmy3444: 9:32am On Mar 30, 2017
Bt i think mabel saw nene b4 she loss her memory, y z dat after she gain r she con remember............ I reali pity nene.... Wat a miserable ending...
Re: Red Ashes by do4luv14(m): 12:50am On Mar 31, 2017
Three people, , firstly,

CHUKS, for drugging and raping his wife bestie, and running away, stil had the gut to push his wife so hard day she commit suicide,
secondly, he shud hav stay clear, i mean completely clear of NENE,

next is

MABEL , she should not have shouted it in the church, it shud av been a private tin, so as nt to make heard. Openly, also she was the cause of her memory lose herself,
Re: Red Ashes by bhunmie20(f): 2:52pm On Mar 31, 2017
nice story I must say,
u made me join nairaland(dis story)
buh I ve 3 questions bothering me o
1st ow did Nene get d gun she used o
in sum1's comment I saw sumtin lyk Mr samy being d godfather of sum1 nd u said we were going 2 knw more abt him buh I dint c anything lyk dat in d story
lastly m rili surprised d way Myra turned out 2 be d master planner of manipulating d DNA result,bcus u dint tell us d connection btw ha nd any1 in d hospital,neither did u state anything lyk d doctor giving any 1 in d hospital anything dat had 2 do wit d test.Anyways d story z fantastic kip it up

1 Like

Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 8:19pm On Mar 31, 2017
bhunmie20:
nice story I must say,
u made me join nairaland(dis story)
buh I ve 3 questions bothering me o
1st ow did Nene get d gun she used o
in sum1's comment I saw sumtin lyk Mr samy being d godfather of sum1 nd u said we were going 2 knw more abt him buh I dint c anything lyk dat in d story
lastly m rili surprised d way Myra turned out 2 be d master planner of manipulating d DNA result,bcus u dint tell us d connection btw ha nd any1 in d hospital,neither did u state anything lyk d doctor giving any 1 in d hospital anything dat had 2 do wit d test.Anyways d story z fantastic kip it up
my dear, dats y evritin is called fiction na
Re: Red Ashes by bencarson007(m): 8:13pm On Apr 03, 2017
Chumzypinky:

my dear, dats y evritin is called fiction na
. Well I read this story from start to finish in like 3 days non stop. Even when NEPA and fone no gree me, I carry modem enter system take read wetin you write... Simple description that fits you ... Chumzypinky - An accomplised writer with class unmatched... My regards to oga and kiddies... Please paste ur number here... Ur next subscription is on me... I await it ma. #Respects
Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 8:40pm On Apr 03, 2017
bencarson007:
. Well I read this story from start to finish in like 3 days non stop. Even when NEPA and fone no gree me, I carry modem enter system take read wetin you write... Simple description that fits you ... Chumzypinky - An accomplised writer with class unmatched... My regards to oga and kiddies... Please paste ur number here... Ur next subscription is on me... I await it ma. #Respects
hahahaha
09059607087
Re: Red Ashes by nifemilizD: 11:22pm On Apr 04, 2017
[quote author=Chumzypinky post=51781420]Dedicated to Twaci and Xaviercasmir


JOLADE.



'that girl is such a stupid girl!' i said 'just take a look at what she did to your face! You shouldnt have left like that, i should have taught her a lesson she would never forget, how dare she....'




He turned off the ignition and came down before i finished talking. I was wondering why he stopped the car in the middle of nowhere.



He came over to my side of the car and opened it 'get out' he said.



I was confused 'get out of where?'



'get out of the car, right now!' He wasnt joking. He really meant it. And the Nathan i knew could do something like that and even worse.




'Nathan please...' i pleaded still sitting in the car 'please, what have i done?'



'get out'



'Nathan please, i'm sorry if i talked too much, i promise to remain silent till you take me home' i pleaded with my hands together 'i'm very sorry, i didnt mean to....'




I screamed as he dragged me out of the car and pushed me to the floor.



He went over to his side, entered the car, threw my expensive purse out of the window and sped away raising dust behind.



'Nathan!! Nathan!!! No! Come back please...' i screamed but his car was nowhere in sight.


I started panting.


It was dark, lonely and quiet. There was no car around, it wasnt a surprise as the time should be around 2am.



I got more scared when i realised the guy had dropped me right in front of a cementry!


I practically screamed my lungs out when i saw the signpost. Then i started to cry.


What kind of a life was this? What kind of a relationship was this? What kind of love was this?



I remembered my cellphone and i searched my purse for it but i couldnt find it.


And then i remembered i had plugged it in his car with the cord. And he had forgotten to hand it over ask well.



Tears dropped from my eyes. Could this day get any more worse? I imagined ghosts dressed in white coming out of the cementry with their fangs and they came closer to me. Closer and closer they came until....




I screamed and took to my heels. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. But as much as i tried to run, it felt as if i remained on one spot.




But i kept on screaming and running till i was out of breath. Then i sat on the floor, folded my legs and cried.


I cried and cried.



'oh my! It seems there's a damsel in distress' i heard a voice say from behind me.



I quickly jumped up in fright.



But it was too late as i was already surrounded by three guys.



I felt a hard blow at the back of my head. Suddenly i began to see six of them. My sight became blurry and i was dizzy.



I felt the world spin around me till i fell to the floor. Then there was blackout.



TBC[/quote
serves her right, that is wat u get falling in love with bad guy.

1 Like

Re: Red Ashes by Oly23(f): 6:43pm On Apr 08, 2017
Wow loved this story!! And funny enough my favourite character was Kainene, I don't know why people were saying she is too harsh this and that to me that's horseshit!! If she wasn't like that Nathan would have also treated her like Jolade!! I sooo much hate Mr Chuka If I see someone like him real God so help me not to commit murder! angry angry!!! But I didn't like the way the story ended embarassed embarassed cry cry!! So tragic!! Why did Nathan have to die Why did the bullet not just hit Mr Chuks the sly devil??
Re: Red Ashes by pinkeeprincess(f): 2:21am On Apr 25, 2017
I can't Bliv I stayed glued to my fone tru out d day n nyt just to finish ds beautiful story n den I ended up crying...cant Bliv nene n Nathan's luv ended just Lyk dat after d whole struggle to b togeda...
more grace to ur elbow mam, u r Rili gifted,i duff my hat..
Re: Red Ashes by hottadiva(f): 11:48am On Apr 28, 2017
very disjointed. too unrealistic
Re: Red Ashes by SaintNemesis(f): 3:32pm On Apr 28, 2017
Chummzypinky, I must commend you for your brilliant use of dialogue to tell a beautiful story. I can rightly say you are the Nairaland Queen of dialogue. Its the dialogue technique you employed that kept me glued till the end.. But all the same I have to say I was dissapointed with your finishing, it lacked the finesse
That you used throughout the story, I'm not saying this cause it ended in tragic way not at all.
Maria was a character introduced later in the story turned out to be the major antagonist, her character was never defined no famly, no history besides wanting Nathan for herself. You even gave her superhuman powers of being able to know a DNA test was to be performed, how and where it was going to be done as well as the abilty to manipulate the result without having a link to the hospital or lab.
Jolade would have even been a more apt character for the manipulation of the DNA or even Jolade's mum...not Maria who had no very strong established motive for vengence.

I want to believe your muse wasn't with you when you wrote the later part of the story cause it was a lazy end to a very beautiful story.
Or perhaps you were tired and just wanted to end anyhow.
I am saying all these because I know. You can do much better, you are a very talented story teller. GOD has gifted you with a beautiful talent that can take you places.
Advice: Flow with the tides. Whenever, you don't feel the usual flow of joy when you create your story, take a break from it and get back the joy then continue. Stay Blessed and keep soaring high.....Much love.
Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 10:00am On Apr 29, 2017
SaintNemesis:
Chummzypinky, I must commend you for your brilliant use of dialogue to tell a beautiful story. I can rightly say you are the Nairaland Queen of dialogue. Its the dialogue technique you employed that kept me glued till the end.. But all the same I have to say I was dissapointed with your finishing, it lacked the finesse
That you used throughout the story, I'm not saying this cause it ended in tragic way not at all.
Maria was a character introduced later in the story turned out to be the major antagonist, her character was never defined no famly, no history besides wanting Nathan for herself. You even gave her superhuman powers of being able to know a DNA test was to be performed, how and where it was going to be done as well as the abilty to manipulate the result without having a link to the hospital or lab.
Jolade would have even been a more apt character for the manipulation of the DNA or even Jolade's mum...not Maria who had no very strong established motive for vengence.

I want to believe your muse wasn't with you when you wrote the later part of the story cause it was a lazy end to a very beautiful story.
Or perhaps you were tired and just wanted to end anyhow.
I am saying all these because I know. You can do much better, you are a very talented story teller. GOD has gifted you with a beautiful talent that can take you places.
Advice: Flow with the tides. Whenever, you don't feel the usual flow of joy when you create your story, take a break from it and get back the joy then continue. Stay Blessed and keep soaring high.....Much love.
oh thanks dear. Its true what u said. I got tired of the story and wanted to end it anyhow. But it wont happen again
Re: Red Ashes by eaziguyman(m): 5:32am On Jun 08, 2017
What a story. Buh nathan don't have to die nah
Re: Red Ashes by motic2(f): 2:45am On Jun 09, 2017
chummzypinky weldone!! maybe I'm short of words but i have to say something because this story is 101% interesting filled with suspense but how I managed to stay glued to my fone all day till this time when I know i have to be up as early as 4:30am infact i don't know
well have been following your story up # tradition # but red ashes made me speechless#michealjacksonvoice#
Your source of inspiration for all this good works will never dry and more inks to your pen
back to the question before i get too emotional

As for me Nene is the cause of Nathan's tragedy she was just too stubborn and rigid
Re: Red Ashes by Chumzypinky(f): 7:10pm On Jun 09, 2017
motic2:
chummzypinky weldone!! maybe I'm short of words but i have to say something because this story is 101% interesting filled with suspense but how I managed to stay glued to my fone all day till this time when I know i have to be up as early as 4:30am infact i don't know
well have been following your story up # tradition # but red ashes made me speechless#michealjacksonvoice#
Your source of inspiration for all this good works will never dry and more inks to your pen
back to the question before i get too emotional

As for me Nene is the cause of Nathan's tragedy she was just too stubborn and rigid

thanks dear. God bless u

1 Like

Re: Red Ashes by sanbells(f): 1:39pm On Jun 11, 2017
Very wonderful story. I almost cried after reading it.
Re: Red Ashes by sanbells(f): 1:40pm On Jun 11, 2017
Chumzypinky:

thanks dear. God bless u
You're a great writer keep it up #crying.... Your story made me cry

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