true say, all in the past now. dumped back in '09!! but points on, gaggi, thanks

Hi,

I definitely believe you can get over him, you just need to stop thinking about him when considering other guys, you need to go back to the basics and think about what you want in your perfect guy, you haven't really mentioned anyhting about this guy that makes him indispensible (sp?) so I believe you can find another nice guy. Don't lose hope and stop competing with him, if you two don't end up together - which you say is highly likely - then you will both end up with (hopefully) other loving spouses.

Who cares if he gets married first, focus on you, maybe worrying about him is what has got you going into your relationships with the wrong mentality anyway.

Try doing you from now on, and accept that you will think about him, we all think about people who've made an impact in our lives, it's just he is a bigger deal because you don't want to think about him.

@topup,

You are correct. I have made this peace with myself. I have accepted that he'll cross my mind sometimes until he completely goes off. God has been of great comfort. I prayed about it and even when i do think about him, i don't feel like i lost anything. I have found peace. I miss my husband already. I know i'm going to be a blessing to him and can't wait to at least meet him. Whoever he is, he's one lucky man!

Thanks you all.

the question should be how do i get him back

^^^^^^

Its funny but i don't want him anymore, I want a breath of really fresh air,

Hi girl. I totally feel ur sitn coz i can say i'm goin thru d exact same thing.
wat everyone's said here is true, however, u n i both know it ain't dat simple.
In my case, i've diagnosed the guy to be a commitment-phobe.

Even afta i relocated to anoda city, thoughts of him kept flowing. Its like ur under a spell rite? Goin out n socialising, shopping, etc helps but only for the few hrs ur'e at it.
once u step bck indoors, d cycle continues,

But i know its only Time (gave myself 5 months) dat'll do it. n of course, our lovin father upstairs. will admit i made a few mistakes along the way, so i'm living with d sitn. And so shud u, coz u've gotta prepare urself for ur future husband.
Hit me up on ssumpta@yahoo.com. in case u wanna talk some more. ciao

@poster,

You need to move on and forget him. If the love was for real, you guys would have sorted your relationship rather than playing the cat and mouse game. I believe your problem is that you were involved with someone with whom you were comfortable, which is understandable, and the reason you think about him is because you have not met someone else to fill the void in your heart.

Try to involve yourself with social activities and date so that to your mind will be occupied, for thinking about him all the time may interfere with your quest to find to love. Further, he is probably not thinking about you as much as you think of him, and he may ignore you completely if and when he finds someone he loves. Move on baby girl.

thanks, all true, for me, love is on the way and i can sense it's very near.

@ssumpta, thanks, you will do well by just praying that God takes this guy off your mind, Else, ordinarily before the heat really came on, i used to make myself forget him for sometime but just like a spell, he always came back. Now, i'm confident last year's moments were the last time.

i have moved on and there is no looking back, not on this matter.

.

^^^^^^^ great poetry!!!


all true, taken on board. thanks!

.

^^^^^^^

i know. it's true, the grace of God always counts in all processes.

ezdozit:
He and I dated almost 10years ago, Yes, unbelievable, We broke up, I started seeing someone else and he wanted me back but I stuck with the at-the-time guy. When that relationship didn't work, i tried getting back with the first (lets call him 'x') but he was in a relationship, and then i started to see someone and he wanted me back,

So you all see, it was like an unpleasant game of hide and seek, we wanting each other when we were already seeing someone else.

after that (about three years ago), we hung out together and i, at this time, had started practicing celibacy and respecting my body and anyone who respects my choice. x and i saw a numbers of times but no sexual intimacy took place leaving us tense,

Now, the problem is whenever i try to date anyone, i size the guy to 'x' and now, i have ended up single and worry that i will be too heart broken when i hear that he is getting married, i don't know if he is dating anyone but he is well into that age of settling down so i guess it could be anytime.

i know and have come to realise that we cant have any other other kind of relationship asides being just friends but that is so difficult for me even though i am trying my best.

i always really liked him and he knows, he likes me too but i dont know what was amiss in the past. and just chose to ignore the reality, i want to get him off my thoughts totally, but dont want to rush into a relationship like i did in the past just to get over him.

sometimes, i forget all about him for days, even weeks then thoughts of him just manage to creep in from nowhere, i have been praying to God to deliver me from this mess as i recognise it is a big problem.

please for anyone who has been in this situation or anything like it or anyone and everyone who can advice, please write on, criticisms are welcome too.

these matters of the heart isnt at all for the faint-hearted oo,


thanks.

both of you are meant for eachother,but you shouldnt had dumped him in the first place.

ezdozit:


^^^^^^^ web of frustration , i am not confused cuz i know what i want to do but want to know of other fresh and ideas as those i have tried arent working.

what manner of people do you date?...absurd isn`t it?

ezdozit:
@ lord reed.

it just ended. even i can not pin-point a reason.

good things never last, do they?

"it just ended" how?
you dumped him for another dude but ashamed to admit it...now you want him back...shame on u!

firedancer:
it is a very difficult situation as a matter of fact am in this kinda situation too and to make matters worse am addicted to this particular ex, what av been doing is to avoid all sorts of physical contacts,deleted his numbers,made a list of what i hate about him and all he has done to wrong me nd trustme whenever i refer back to my "black list" i just start un-liking him, make friends with a new set of guys with different mindset from your ex' and socialize more it helps don allow yourself to get so lonely nd bored that way you might end up thinking abt him put yourself into your work or your social life just get busy and in no time u ll forget him, let him run after you if he is interested in you
good luck

you are dickmatized