My favorite was one day like that when I was at a bar and one dude was criticizing a catholic priest, or something, because the guy was honoring the tradition of his forefathers on a tv show. The man and his wife opened a kind of museum in somewhere in the east.

And I said, "is it not better he honors our instead of the one introduced to us by our colonial slave masters?" which led to a discussion on religion and all that.

Then he asked, "do you read a lot", to which I replied, "yes". And he cautioned me saying,"stop that because ignorance is bliss".

*Dead silence*



As an atheist, what is the funniest defense a Christian or theist has put up against their beliefs here on nairaland or offline?

cc: johnydon22, plaetton, benzics, jonbellion, mrmrmister, sonofluc1fer kevoh opefulLandlord CAPSLOCKED, HardMirror Dekatron UncleSnr donnffd CltrAltDelicious Shollyps, dalaman Teempakguy Seun menesheh and all other unbelievers of ancient fairy tales

hahn:
My favorite was one day like that when I was at a bar and one dude was criticizing a catholic priest, or something, because the guy was honoring the tradition of his forefathers on a tv show. The man and his wife opened a kind of museum in somewhere in the east.

And I said, "is it not better he honors our instead of the one introduced to us by our colonial slave masters?" which led to a discussion on religion and all that.

Then he asked, "do you read a lot", to which I replied, "yes". And he cautioned me saying,"stop that because ignorance is bliss".

*Dead silence*



As an atheist, what is the funniest defense a Christian or theist has put up against their beliefs here on nairaland or offline?

cc: johnydon22, plaetton, benzics, jonbellion, mrmrmister, sonofluc1fer kevoh opefulLandlord CAPSLOCKED, HardMirror Dekatron UncleSnr donnffd CltrAltDelicious Shollyps, dalaman Teempakguy Seun menesheh and all other unbelievers of ancient fairy tales

Typical one I get is

" lets just live our lives but when we die we will know who is right and by that time it will be late"

Christians saying stupid things to defend their faith is commonplace for me.

Following, lets see who will loss the looming argument that will come soon

KingEbukasBlog:
I've never seen a Christian lose an argument , but I've seen so many atheists lose arguments

Lol. Bubu, don't worry president1 will prove you wrong on January 21st

hahn:


Lol. Bubu, don't worry president1 will prove you wrong on January 21st

That is not an argument . So I'm not sure how he'd lose .

But everyone should take a look one of Hahn's superior arguments against Christians

hahn:


Please who can tell us the size of Jehovah's dick since it is a male?

I mean , what the heck is this ? The obvious answer is that God is being depicted as a male because of Its anthropomorphic characteristics not that It is actually a male .

remember that I asked you to give your opinion about anthropomorphism right here

https://www.nairaland.com/3504236/xenophanes-criticism-anthropomorphism-vs-triune

So whose fault atheists like hahn lose arguments terribly and continually ?

You wonder how one can lose an argument when questions like this are being thrown at Christians and are described by atheists as "superior arguments" . You just wonder .

Have had many make funny remarks which I call defense mechanism. They as follows:

* God does not have your time yet? Am like WTF?

* A girl said this, "You might be thinking you smart but you f oolish in the sight of God". I just resort to laughing.

* My mum often says this " God has a plan for you and I have a vision that you would be a well known pastor tomorrow" Am like okay, until tomorrow.

* You so ignorant. Me I be like yep, I admit am ignorant but not delusional.

* A Jehovah witness guy after arguing with him and his partner once told me, "Am just being a smart A ss". Am like come again sir', he repeated it. I just laughed and said the purpose of you coming to me has being defeated the moment you said that.

* A catholic guy once vouch for animals that they talk and have a language of their own just like human. Am like No, they use basic instinct and communicate sounds for signal, this guy nor gree oooooo.

* I was walking and a women was sharing handbill, I told her, No I don't take this, have outgrown religion, she kept saying no, no , no, no,no repeatedly.

Many of which I can't even remember lol

KingEbukasBlog:


That is not an argument . So I'm not sure how he'd lose .

But everyone should take a look one of Hahn's superior arguments against Christians



I mean , what the heck is this ? The obvious answer is that God is being depicted as a male because of Its anthropomorphic characteristics not that It is actually a male .

remember that I asked you to give your opinion about anthropomorphism right here

https://www.nairaland.com/3504236/xenophanes-criticism-anthropomorphism-vs-triune

So whose fault atheists like hahn lose arguments terribly and continually ?

You wonder how one can lose an argument when questions like this are being thrown at Christians and are described by atheists as "superior arguments" . You just wonder .

And you failed to put up anas09's Jesus Christ like response

Anas09:

See what you will do first. You are home for the Xmas right? Called your Dad into his room. Tell him to open his dick for you to see. Take a measurement of the length and width of it. When you do this, come back here, post it here for me to see, then i can tell you the size of God's dick.

https://www.nairaland.com/3543595/did-god-command-genocide-bible/32#52403660

and

Yahweh is my father, and, you asked me to tell you the size of my Father's Johnson, i in turn asked you to first do the same, here you are screaming insults.

How was i going to tell you Yahweh's size if i do not ask him to uncover Himself before me? Am a girl for that matter. hahn, it shd be easier for you being a man and all.

Do it, then i will uncover my father for you.

You have no idea the magnitude of Insult you just hault out now.

If i wasn't a Christian and you tell me this, i'd ve told you what you won't forget for the entire 2017.

If you uncover your parents unclothedness, keep it to yourself.

https://www.nairaland.com/3543595/did-god-command-genocide-bible/33#52406660

Besides, asking for the size of the dick of an imaginary friend is not as bad as threatening "unbelievers" with the imaginary hell or the wrath of your imaginary god

hahn:


Besides, asking for the size of the dick of an imaginary friend is not as bad as threatening "unbelievers" with the imaginary hell or the wrath of your imaginary god

If calling God imaginary makes you sleep well at night , mi bro I can't let you have insomnia ooo ,,,

KingEbukasBlog:


If calling God imaginary makes you sleep well at night , mi bro I can't let you have insomnia ooo ,,,

Christians never lose arguments. We just leave you to your own delusion and face ours.

Kaycee7:
Christians never lose arguments. We just leave you to your own delusion and face ours.

Lol

Wanna argue about the talking snake?

hahn:


Lol

Wanna argue about the talking snake?

At least for this google argument of talkin snake,
I know it has been defeated countless times.

That one is sure

felixomor:


At least for this google argument of talkin snake,
I know it has been defeated countless times.

That one is sure

You mean you proved that snakes can talk?

Care to share the link?

hahn:


You mean your proved that snakes can talk?

Care to share the link?

There is no big deal in talking. Parrots still talk to this day.
And after the episode, of Eden, God cursed and cut the communication between serpent and man.

Besides bible said "spoke"
People like U changed it to "talk"
Even "speaking" can be done in any language including sign language.

I hope u r not too young, to understand this tho.

felixomor:


There is no big deal in talking. Parrots still talk to this day.
And after the episode, of Eden, God cursed and cut the communication between serpent and man.

Besides bible said "spoke"
People like U changed it to "talk"
Even "speaking" can be done in any language including sign language.

I hope u r not too young, to understand this tho.

So, "spoke" in this context means what exactly? You mean communicate? A whole conversion of deceit?

So, I was having a conversation with a christian friend two days ago and he said " evolution is just a theory therefore it can be discarded!" I was like Some christians are just fucking dumb!

Am like "God commanded the killing of the amalekites including children"
The Christian is like "U have to understand the context"

randomperson:
Am like "God commanded the killing of the amalekites including children"
The Christian is like "U have to understand the context"

Apologist: god ordered the killing of the infants to give them salvation, they'll all enter heaven

Me: so why don't we just give birth to babies and kill them immediately? we'll by so doing depopulate hell and populate heaven

Apologist: you don't have the right to take a life

Me: I'm not talking "right" here, I'm talking strictly salvation; what if someone had killed me at birth? I wouldn't become an atheist and hellbound like I am now

Apologist: you'll suffer the wrath of god if you kill infants

Me: i can sacrifice my salvation, even killing just 4 infants shows its mathematically worth it; me=hell, four infants=heaven, don't you think hell would be less populated by this simple trick if every adult sacrifices his/her salvation while giving killing four children each and helping them to heaven?

Apologist: you don't have the right to take a life

Me: I'm not talking right here, I'm talking results!, if it sounds stupid but it works, it ain't stupid

Apologist: are you saying we evolved from monkeys?

Me:

hahn:


Lol

Wanna argue about the talking snake?

What about the talking snake?

A fool says in his heart there's no god
What an irony

KingEbukasBlog:
I've never seen a Christian lose an argument , but I've seen so many atheists lose arguments

this is my all-time worst defense from a theist coming from king Ebuka himself.

theists/Christians breaking thier records of defensive errors and setting worse ones

I throw salute! !!!

hahn:
My favorite was one day like that when I was at a bar and one dude was criticizing a catholic priest, or something, because the guy was honoring the tradition of his forefathers on a tv show. The man and his wife opened a kind of museum in somewhere in the east.

And I said, "is it not better he honors our instead of the one introduced to us by our colonial slave masters?" which led to a discussion on religion and all that.

Then he asked, "do you read a lot", to which I replied, "yes". And he cautioned me saying,"stop that because ignorance is bliss".

*Dead silence*



As an atheist, what is the funniest defense a Christian or theist has put up against their beliefs here on nairaland or offline?

cc: johnydon22, plaetton, benzics, jonbellion, mrmrmister, sonofluc1fer kevoh opefulLandlord CAPSLOCKED, HardMirror Dekatron UncleSnr donnffd CltrAltDelicious Shollyps, dalaman Teempakguy Seun menesheh and all other unbelievers of ancient fairy tales

Can't believe I almost missed this thread.
Here's a list of stupid crap I've heard

1.) When you die you'll find out: after asking fro proof

2.) Pray to God to give you wisdom to understand his word: when I asked why God permitted rape, slavery and genocide.

3.) God has a right to kill: when I brought up God sponsored genocide and infanticide

4.) God did it: How kangaroo and penguins got to Noah's ark. The guy actually stated God created a land bridge from Antarctic to middle east, and also said the food got larger as it entered the animal's mouth and also all their sizes where reduced as the entered the ark and that's why it fitted them all.
The guy was pulling sh*t from his ass. That's why I hate arguing with theist

5.) How do you think you came about

6.) Who created the earth

7.) If you die where will you go to

8.) Man wrote the bible, God had no hand in it: this is by far the funniest and shows just how ignorant theist can be.I started by showing the guy where God condoned rape, slavery, genocide and he was stomped he later came back and said Man wrote the bible and God had nothing to do with it, I was like then how do you know GOD since all the stories are in the bible and he again pointed to the bible, my brain was on overload, what's worse is that he then went on to say, that man hasn't ever crossed the sky and I asked what about rockets.
It was a terrible experience

He reminds me of kingebukasblog and his star trek fantasy of Jesus.

Theism is tolerated insanity

Watch William Lane Craig debates with atheists, it's hilarious atheists always gets smashed and humiliated by the guy, even popular atheists blogs admit this : http://commonsenseatheism.com/?p=392

Why do you think Richard dawkins be running from debating him

Richirich713:
Watch William Lane Craig debates with atheists, it's hilarious atheists always gets smashed and humiliated by the guy, even popular atheists blogs admit this : http://commonsenseatheism.com/?p=392

I haven't really watched any theist vs atheist debates but when I was a Christian I watched some Christians vs Muslim debates and there was this particular Islamic cleric who always smashed the Christians including the pastors.... So...

randomperson:

I haven't really watched any theist vs atheist debates but when I was a Christian I watched some Christians vs Muslim debates and there was this particular Islamic cleric who always smashed the Christians including the pastors.... So...

Then I recommend David wood debates for you, he smashes both muslims and atheist, although he mostly debates muslims.

Richirich713:
Watch William Lane Craig debates with atheists, it's hilarious atheists always gets smashed and humiliated by the guy, even popular atheists blogs admit this : http://commonsenseatheism.com/?p=392

Why do you think Richard dawkins be running from debating him

Dawkins has already given his reasons for not debating him and those reasons make sense!

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/oct/20/richard-dawkins-william-lane-craig

WLC distances himself from any question aimed at his god

and oh! YouTube has many lost debates of WLC, I remember him debating a topic with an atheist whose job is that topic, he was smashed and his lack of knowledge was laid bare

WLCs arguments sound good and convincing if you're a Christian already, if you're not it sounds stupid

Richirich713:


Then I recommend David wood debates for you, he smashes both muslims and atheist, although he mostly debates muslims.

David Wood? that joke of an apologist?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zO5lGJx8JU8


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6BxHdKT7lw&itct=CA8QpDAYACITCIjj9sqWqNECFTAlfgodhJkNsDIGcmVsbWZ1SM_K8OOJo5n3zAE%3D&gl=US&client=mv-google&hl=en

Kaycee7:
What about the talking snake?

Can snakes talk?

Atheists are the real Masters of this art..

Pastafarian:


Dawkins has already given his reasons for not debating him and those reasons make sense!

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/oct/20/richard-dawkins-william-lane-craig

Lame excuse, dawkins believes the isrealites were just dancing to their DNA. Craig could have use the same excuse to dawkins belief in subjective morality where raping a baby or loving a child is just a matter of option, where Nelson Mandela is actions are in no way morally superior than Jeffrey Dahmer's.

Pastafarian:

WLC distances himself from any question aimed at his god

Not true, he has had entire debates on the resurrection of Christ.

Pastafarian:

and oh! YouTube has many lost debates of WLC, I remember him debating a topic with an atheist whose job is that topic, he was smashed and his lack of knowledge was laid bare

Not true, he has won most of his debates, usually crushing and humiliating his opponents. Only a very few could at least give him a good debate.

Pastafarian:

WLCs arguments sound good and convincing if you're a Christian already, if you're not it sounds stupid

Christians are not the only ones that use those arguments, muslims, jews and deists also use some of those arguments.

Richirich713:


Lame excuse, dawkins believes the isrealites were just dancing to their DNA. Craig could have use the same excuse to dawkins belief in subjective morality where raping a baby or loving a child is just a matter of option, where Nelson Mandela is actions are in no way morally superior than Jeffrey Dahmer's.

very lame attempt at invalidating a valid excuse, read the link! I'm pretty sure you didnt

Not true, he has had entire debates on the resurrection of Christ.

I'm talking old testament!

Not true, he has won most of his debates, usually crushing and humiliating his opponents. Only a very few could at least give him a good debate.

lol, Dawkins won most of his debates And only a very few could give him a good debate

why not check YouTube? don't be scared

Christians are not the only ones that use those arguments, muslims, jews and deists also use some of those arguments.

give examples of such arguments they use