A mum was lucky enough to see her three daughters wed in the same year, so she whispered to each of them “After your weddings, text me your first night experience and don’t forget to text it in a coded way!”
After a week, the first daughter sent ‘NESCAFE’ in an sms 2 her mum while a week later, the second sent ‘BENSON’. Their mum, as a ‘soji woman’ picked up a tin of Nescafe and read from d label “fantastic till d last drop!” She also went to her husband’s pack of Benson cigarettes and found written on it “Extra long, king size!” she thought aloud “not too bad for them at their age”
A few days later, her third daughter’s text comes in, “Arik: Lagos – Kano!”. So Mama calls Arik Air information desk to inquire about their Kano to Lagos flight. She was told, “Its 3 times daily, 7 days a week and the flight duration is 75 minutes to and fro!”
Mama throws herself in the air, lands, slumps and faints shouting…”Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo O! ( this one will kill my daughter!)”

A man entered a mosque carrying a brand new smooth machette and asked “Who is a muslim here?”
The whole mosque went as silent as a grave yard. The man asked again, “How can a full mosque have no muslim?”. No one replied.
The man then grabs the nearby young man and goes out with him and tells him, “son come help me slaughter my goat for I don’t know how to do it”.
After the young man had slaughtered the goat, he tells the man that he doesn’t know how to skin it and that the man would have to go back to the mosque and get someone else to help him on that.The man returns to the mosque with a machete dripping with blood.
When the Imam saw this, he immediately shouts “Praise the Looooooooord! The whole mosque responds,”halleluyaaaah!!!”

Akpos bursts into the house, “Daddy! My CGPA is 4.78!”
The father is amazed and says “This calls for a party.”
The father takes Akpos on a ride around town to shopping malls and Eateries.
He spends all he has including his Month end salary.
The father thought to himself, “At least I celebrated my son’s success even if I’m eventually broke.” When they got home, Akpos shows his result to his Father.
His father looking stunned, angrily snares at his son, “WHAT IS THIS? I thought you said you had a First Class? But what I’m seeing on your result is a Third Class!”
Akpos, who is smiling sheepishly, suddenly shouts, “APRIL FOOL DAD!!!”
Akpos is currently on admission at the Emergency Unit of the General Hospital.

A newly married Nigerian couple brought a female house help from the village to assist in keeping their home tidy, so they would have time for their careers and other more important things.
One day, Oga decided to give his wife a surprise package. He moulded a big heart (to represent love) with the assistance of the house help, a project which took almost the whole day.
Madam came back to meet the house help sleeping and snoring:
MADAM: Will you get up now! Stupid girl! What have you been doing since morning?
HOUSE HELP: Madam welcome. No vex abeg. Me and Oga dey make love since morning. Na just now now we finish he say make I lie down small.
The house help is now on admission at the Lagos Hospital.

A professor drove into a petrol station in his sleek state of the art range rover sports to buy fuel.
Professor: Guy abeg, give me full tank.
Fuel Attendant: Sir, I don’t speak pidgin. I only speak English.
Professor: Ok! Good morning. I currently feel a profound desire to
replenish the propelling of my motorized automobile. Therefore I
cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim.
Fuel Attendant: Oga na play I dey play o, how much fuel you wan?

“There was a robbery at Akpos’ neighbour’s house and he called 199
Next thing he heard was:
Welcome to Nigeria Police Emergency Center, for English press 1, for Igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3, for Hausa press 4,
Akpos pressed 1, and another voice came u..
For car accident press 1,for armed robbery press 2, for Boko Haram please hang up….
He pressed 2, and another voice came up….
If they’re with knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK47 press 3, machine guns press 4, bombs press 5, all of the above press 6…
Akpos checked and saw that the armed robbers were with all of them, so he pressed 6… then a voice came up saying….
“Hmmmm…! My friend, if your brother is a policeman, will you let him go?”

A Preacher said: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”.
And the congregation cried,”Amen!”
“And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river”.
And the congregation cried,”Amen!”
“And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river”.
Again the congregation cried,”Amen!”
The preacher sat down.
Deacon Akpos then stood up and said: “For our closing hymn, let’s turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, ‘We shall drink from that river”.
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!

Ochuko and Akpos were approached by a zoo owner to get lions for his zoo and that he would pay $50,000 for each
lion.
The two men went into the forest in search of lions.
At the end of the day they found nothing and decided to make a camp in the bush.
The next morning Akpos woke up and saw 300 lions surrounding them.
Excited, Akpos shouted: “Ochuko wake up! WE ARE RICH!!!
(What do you think will happen to them)

Akpos escaped from Yaba Psychiatric Hospital. When he got home, he called the Psychiatric Hospital on phone and asked; “Is there any one in Room eight at Ward one?”
The Receptionist on phone replied; “Just a minute sir hold on let me check.”
A while later the Receptionist came back on the phone and said; “There is no one sir.”
Akpos exclaimed; “Wow! Okay my dear.”
The Receptionist said; “But why did you ask sir?.”
Akpos replied; “I want to be sure that I’ve escaped.”

After she woke up, Akpos’ wife told him that: “Honey, I just dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” Akpos said.
That evening, Akpos came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

Akpos the lecturer in Gwagalada, University of Abuja decided to give his students a test.
He asked them to write the answers as he read out the questions.
Instructions says: Canceling answers not allowed)
Akpors the Lecturer: Questi on 1: What’s your favorite food? [10 mrks]
Female students were writing, Pizza, fried rice, Hamburger, ice cream, sharwama and all sorts of Chinese cuisine…..
Lecturer Akpors: Question 2: How do you prepare the food? [50 marks]
Huh!! immediately, the female students started cancelling and changing the foods to, beans, cocoyam, & abacha, bolee and porridge yam, indomine, white rice with no soup!!!

1 Girl: I’m warning you, my Mummy is coming backsoon..
AKPOS: But I’m not doing anything..
Girl: That’s why I’m warning you, Hurry up.

2.CASHIER: This is the 5th movie ticket you’ve bought tonight Sir, Why?..
AKPOS: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it

3.TEACHER: What’s your favorite flower?..
AKPOS: Chrysanthemum.. TEACHER: Spell it..
AKPOS: I was joking ooh. My favorite flower is Rose: R-O-S-E

4.Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Akpos walked straight to
the ugly girl.
Akpos: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Akpos: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Akpos: OK, Go and dance, I want to talk to your friend.

5.Papa Akpos: My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do?
Akpos’ Teacher :- Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell “LION” …
Papa Akpos : Ah Ah…You know say na SMALL pikin……You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like “MOSQUITO”…

6.Akpos : Why are all these people running ? ?
Rukewe: Its a competition, the winner will be given a phone. .
Akpos: What a pity. Why are they are all running if they know that only one person will get the phone.

7. Teacher. . . If You have 5 Naira and U ask ur Dad for another 5 Naira , how much will you have?
Akpos: 5 Naira
Teacher: You don’t know maths
Akpos: You dont know my fada.

8.Senator: Hey, Youngman! I heard that you are the idiot that disvirgined my only Daughter.
Akpos: Oga sori, it won’t happen again. .

9. Joy: Akpos please leave; you cant date me because you are not responsible. .
Akpos: Hahaha, who told you that dat. In my area, when any girl gets pregnant, she says I’m responsible.

10. Father-in-law: Young man, you coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you are chewing gum.
That’s a sign of disrespect!
Akpos: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.
Father-In-Law: You mean u drink & smoke and you are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Akpos: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club.
Father-In-Law: U club too?
Akpos: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing whenI came out of prison.
Father-In-Law:- U’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God!
Akpos: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!,
Father-In-Law:- What!!! U’re a killer
Akpos: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter so I killed him.
Father-In-Law: You are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. U are absolutely the right man for my daughter.

Akpos sits next to a girl on a table in a hotel
Akpos: hello madam?
Lady: what is it?
Akpos: sorry madam , just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch?
Lady: ehee …now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time
Akpos: but madam
Lady: shut up!!!
Akpos takes out his Apple phone and makes call
Akpos: hello John I just settled from Washington D.C can you please tell me what time it is right now so that I set my clock to the local time since it still reads American time? *she listens*
Ok, thank you and today don’t forget to come for the galaxy tablet that you requested * she listens*
Since my girl is still in America bring me a beautiful girl to spend my money with tonight Ok bye
Lady: sir the time is ….
Akpors: shut up !!!!!

There was a girl, Akpos really loved but he never had the guts to tell her. One night, at around 11pm, he summoned some courage and sent her an sms saying,’I love you so much, I wanna date you. Please reply and tell me how u feel.
‘A few seconds later he received a message alert on his phone. He was sooo scared & tensed to open it that night, so he decided not to check the reply until in the morning when he is less tensed.
When he woke up d next day, he said his prayers, did his morning chores, brushed his teeth,ate his breakfast, took his bath, combed his hair, then climbed back to his bed and gently picked up his phone to read the message.
So he started reading…….Dear customer you have insufficient balance to complete your request. kindly recharge your account and try again).

Akpos traveled to Lagos after his WAEC result was out so that his Uncle will help him get admission into the University of Lagos to study medicine and become a medical doctor….
The following conversation happened between them:
Akpos: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into the university these days except you are well connected…
Uncle: That’s true…
Akpors: Since you are connected, I came to ask you if you can help me get admission into the university after my JAMB….
Uncle: That’s true… am connected and I will help u….
Akpors: Thank you Uncle….
Uncle: You welcome…so how is your result, is it WAEC or NECO and how many credits did you get?
Akpors: Uncle, it’s WAEC, I had only two credits in agric and Yoruba language but I failed the rest…
Uncle: Well, that’s not bad… you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really but native doctor (babalawo)…
You will use your credit in agric in collecting herbs from the forest, and Yoruba language for incantations…

Akpos and Musa were caught in a Northern african country, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer. They were arrested and taken to the Sheik’s palace for questioning and judgment.
Akpos lied that Musa smuggled and forced him to drink the beer! Both were initially given a death sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the Sheik decided they should be released after some lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, “It’s my first wife’s birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you 2 wishes before your whipping, but you cannot wish not to be whipped!”
Akpos thought for a second then said: “Please tie two pillows to my back before whipping.” And my second wish is that you flog me only 20 strokes of the whip. He was whipped, and luckily for him, the pillows helped to make the pain of the whip lesser.
Musa saw this; thought for a second, then said: “Thank you, most royal and merciful highness for the wishes. My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available.”, Akpos laughed and thought Musa was a fool…
The Sheik replied with a puzzled look on his face,” and your second wish?”
Musa replied “Tie Akpors to my back!”

1. You buy some cheap underwear at a Bend- Down- Select under market& on facebook you write:”I love Gucci underwears” *God is watching you*
2. You’re a married man with 2 kids & on facebook you always claim to be single *God is watching you*
3. You’re 21 yrs old & you’re dating a man of 59 yrs, your updates say “can’t wait to see my baby.” Is that your baby or your ancestor? *God is watching you*
4. You’re are drinking ice water & you update “I’m drinking Johnny Walker on the rocks” *God is watching you*
5. You’re in the house Listening to a radio but you update “watching superman man of steel at the cinemas” *God is watching you*
6. You sell retail biscuit, airtime n chewing gums or in an grocery SHOP & u update “had a long day in the office” *God is watching you*
7. You are waiting for a mat/taxi & u update “stuck in traffic thank God for the air conditioner in ma car” *God is watching you*
8. You are using some fake Chinese phone and you update ur status “My laptop is slow” *God is watching you*
9. You are in some fake slum n u update your status “near New York” *God is watching you*
10. Your real name is Bizibu/Kekimirenzyo or some funny names and on facebook u call yourself Mcute Pretty Bootylicious Fly *God is watching you* Gud Afternoon Palz!!!

Akpos opened his eyes after a surgical operation and breathed “Thank God it’s over”.
A man on the other side of his bed said, “don’t be so sure, they left an injection in my belly and had to open it again”.
Another patient added, “same with me but mine was a pack of cotton wool”.
Almost immediately, the doctor who did the operation stormed in and asked, “Has anyone seen my watch?”
Akpos fainted.

Akpos’ boss called him on a Saturday morning and asked him to come to work, Akpos replied “I would love to but I’m in traffic”
His boss then asked “When can you get here?”
Akpos replied “On Monday

Akpos and Girl in Restaurant
GIRL: I hate my boyfriend!
AKPOS: Why?
GIRL: He is so cheap he cant even buy me a simple dinner, are all boys like that?
AKPOS: Of course not, I’m not like that.
GIRL: I’m going to break up with him.
AKPOS: Ok but know I’m available.
[Girl stands to leave]
AKPOS: Wait, where are you going?
GIRL: To break up with my boyfriend of course.
AKPOS: You can’t leave.
GIRL: Why?
AKPOS: Who is going to pay for the lunch we just had?

*AVOID SLEEPING IN CHURCH!!*

I was sleeping in the church when the usher woke me up.
Immediately, I heard the pastor saying, "Please stand up"
I stood up without knowing the reason and people were clapping!!

*PASTOR*:- "Thank you Jesus!!! Any other person who will give us another one million naira for our church project?"

*I Fainted*

preciousuweh:
CAN THIS EVER HAPPE!!!!!
GIRL: Hi handsome.
BOY: Mcheeew (rolling his eyes)
GIRL: C’mon I mean no harm dude. Just spare me a few minutes of your time.
BOY: say what you have to and leave immediately.
GIRL: okay I have been watching you pass here everyday and i feel
attracted to you.
BOY: only that? GIRL: I think you are hydrogen cause whenever I see you my heart beats with a pop sound.
BOY: (blushing) aaaww stop the flattery.
GIRL: I’m damn serious. Can’t you see that am not sobber and am staggering? That simply proves that am drunk in love with you.
BOY: (smiling) go straight to The point, can’t you see am busy? drawing patterns on The ground
using his feet)
GIRL:wow your smile is like Al Quaeda terrorists cause it has just
captured The territory of my
heart.Please give me a chance to invest in your heart business and you will see The profits through
my love for you.
BOY:You girls are just the same. You Just want to use me then dump me heartlessly.
GIRL: OMG! Dats so inhuman. I
want to show you true love that can never even be witnessed in the Soap Operas.
BOY: Kkk let me think
about it then I will reply you later.
GIRL: Okay handsome, take as
much time as you want. Whatever your decision is, I will respect IT but please say Yes.
MY QUESTION: Will there
ever be a beautiful time like this?
where girls will do the ‘toasting’ and we The boys
do the ‘blushing’ or is it just a wishful dreaming

Wishful dreaming dear, Wishful dreaming

preciousuweh:
You lavish 300k in a club and give a prostitute 15k. But you give your girlfriend 1k after washing your clothes and cleaning the house for you then you say you're testing her to find out if she is after your money.
Brother, the thunder that will fire you will be like Drug prescription; 3 in the morning, 3 in the afternoon and 3 at night.
Sho lo ya wehrey nii

Hahahaha .
Hypocrisy.

1. Na for old age ashawo dey know the value of
pikin.
2. Woman wey never see problem.. Na im dey still
hold breast run.
3. Woman wey dey find pikin no dey wear pant
sleep.
4. Rat wey follow lizard enter rain, na later é go
hear am.
5. Na for afternoon dem dey find black goat.
6. Weather hot!! É No mean say fowl go lay
boiled egg.
7. EYE WEY DEY CRY DEY SEE ROAD.
8. Pikin wey him mama back cross water, wey
say him matched fish, wetin him mama go match.?
9. Small pikin wey dem carry for back no know
say the journey far.
10. Person wey don faint before no be
stranger to death.
11. Person wey chop belle full, no know wetin
hungry man dey see.
12. No be as woman dey close eye enjoy sex she
dey enjoy labour pains.
13. Yansh no get teeth but e dey cut shit.
14. Lizard wey fall from tall iroko tree, if nobody
hail am!! é go hail himself
15. IF GIRL TAKE HUSBAND DO BOYFRIEND, SHE
GO TAKE BOYFRIEND DO HUSBAND.
16. Cockroach wey jam fowl, jam bad luck.
17. Na cricket tell him children say, No matter
how ground strong, Them no go sleep outside.
18. Pikin wey say him mama no fine dey use style
call him papa blind man.
19. No be eye wey dem take chop eba dem take
dey share meat.
20. Person wey use Elephant set trap, na him
know wetin he wan Catch.
21. When Breeze Blow Fowl Yash Go Open.
22. STUDENT WEY READ NA HIM SERIOUS, BUT
STUDENT WEY PASS NA HIM KNOW BOOK.
23. Dem no dey tell tortoise say race don start.
24. Dem no dey tell blind man say salt no dey for
food.
25. Before you see monkey, monkey don see you.
26. Thief wey jump fence enter house
where owner dey wait for am, no go jump again.
27. If pikin say he sabi die, him papa sef go tell
am say him sabi bury.
28. Na wetin dey sweet for goat mouth, Na im
dey kill am.
29. If e be like say everybody dey craze" na you
dey craze.
30. Meat wey you dey forbid, no use your teeth
cut am.
31. My thing and our thing no be the same oh.
32. Na happiness dey make prick stand.
33. Na as goat stand for market dem dey price
am.
34. Craze no hard to form, na the trekking be
wahala.
35. Its a small world!! No mean say you fit trek
from Naija go London.
36. No matter how hot your temper be, e no fit
boil beans.
37. Chicken wey run from Borno go Ibadan go
still end up inside pot of soup.
38. Today’s newspaper na tomorrow Suya wrap.
39. Akara and moi moi get the same parent, na
wetin dem pass through make dem different.
40. Na when mosquito land for man tentacles end go no say there is a way to settle wahala without violence

A psychiatrist wanted to know how many of his
patients have been cured of madness, so he
assembled them in a classroom and drew a big car
on the board.
He then told the class that if anyone could push the car on the board, that person would
receive a gift of N20,000 and would be free to go
home.
On hearing this, they all rushed to the board to
push the car except one young Man Benjamin who
remained on his seat. He sat at the back smiling. The psychiatrist with joy
and excitement on his face
seeing that somebody has been cured of madness
went to him and asked, "You, why
didn’t you join your mates to push the car"?
He replied "don't mind those mad people, they are just fooling themselves . . . Hahaha, they don't know
that the car key is in my pocket.
Wahala dey ooo!

9 Ways to Know That Witches and Wizards are Using Your Picture to Fan Themselves...
1. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you forgot the course you studied at a job interview.
2. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you fail Jamb 5 times.
3. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you are a lady and you are "Team-no-sex-before-marriage", only to find out that your husband is impotent on your wedding night.
4. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you tune down the volume of your television just because you want to read a text message.
5. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you slap a man on the road for stepping on you only to find out later that he's a soldier.
6. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you are a graduate and a secondary school boy snatches your babe.
7. The witches and wizard in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you travel all the way from Lagos to Zamfara for the sole purpose of having s*x, only to be involved in a road accident at Lagos-Ibadan Expressway.
8. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you boast to a lady that you are a profession in bed, only to climax after one minute.
9. The witches and wizards in your village are using your picture to fan themselves if you are graduate and your mom still helps to woo a lady on your behalf.

papa sam discovered that his son had just checked his WAEC result
.
papa sam: how was your result?
.
sam: dad, you know david nah, the guy that use to take first in the class
.
papa sam: enhe, i know him
.
sam: he failed his own
.
papa sam: so, what about yours?
.
sam: shey you know ikechukwu, the senior prefect and chioma and tolulope the book wizard?
.
papa sam: yes, what about them?
.
sam: they all failed.
.
papa sam: den what about yours?
.
sam: ahh dad, if all those people failed, i am not a witch na, i also failed.

Kolo mental case!!
Doctor: - "what is this?"
Mad Man: - "this is the book i wrote. Total 500 pages."
Doctor- "you wrote 500 pages.!!! What did you write??"
Mad man: "1st page I wrote 1 king rode on a horse &went towards the jungle. And on the last page I wrote the king reached the jungle."
Doctor- So what did you write in the rest of the 498 pages? "
Mad Man:- "I wrote; tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik ti tigdik tigdik... "(the sound of the horse running)
Doctor- "who will read your story?" .
Mad Man: "I'll put on WhatsApp. My mad friends will surely read just like u hv done.

In case you don't know me, here's fact about
me...
1.REAL NAME : Micheal "Revolution" Cooker
2.NICKNAME : Xavier
3.SEX : MALE
4.NATIONALITY : NIGERIAN
6.HOBBIES: Collecting teeth from live lions;
catching bullets with bare hands; jogging up and down mount Everest.
7.MY RECORDS: Fought with a dinosaur and broke its neck, skinned a crocodile alive, held breathe under water for 2months, 3weeks, 6hours,5mins and 45seconds. Hence, traveled around the world in a Day
8.GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS: Went to heaven to charge my phone, fluent in 10,598 languages, first man to land on the sun.
9.SILLIEST THING I'VE DONE: swimming in
Tsunami and driving towards a tornado.
10.EMBARRASSING MOMENT: Couldn't kill 100 bears with a single punch, though 99 died and the last one is now an slowpoke.
11. PROUDEST MOMENTS: Firstly, when a cobra died after biting me.
12.HARDEST MOMENT: Jumped out of an airplane and landed safely on a football pitch.
13.SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I don't like bragging or lying.

A man and his wife quarrelled. After the
fight, the wife went into the bedroom. A few
minutes later, the husband also trooped into
the bedroom only to find the wife busy
packing her suitcase! He asked "You are
packing! Where are you going?" She
answered "To my mother"
The man paused for a while and also got his
big brown pure leather suitcase & started
packing his clothes. The angry wife stared at
him and said "You are packing! Where are
you going?" He replied "Oh yeah! I"m going
to my mother!"
The wife replied, "To your mother!! And
what about the 6 children?! Who is going to
look after them?" The man replied, "You are
going to your mother! I'm going to my
mother. The 6 children should also go to
their mother!!

A man was in a public transport wanted to see the reaction of others.
So he took his phone, dialed a number, placed the phone to his ear and said in a low tone: "Baby, I can't come to you today because I'm in the same public transport with your husband. I'll call you later okay? I love you!"
All the men in that bus demanded, "Excuse me mister man, I want to see the number you just called?
As I am writing to you, it's hot and heated in the bus even the driver wants to know the last number the man just dialed!