kech:

LOL! You no well. Are you looking for someone to chop your money?

Nope, I know what I want! I need a savvy babe who's also got a tender heart and would know how to treat a guy am guessing u're all these rolled into one! .

Whitelexi, have u any advice for ur bro? Me am getting womanliness whipped even b4 meeting her (kech) ooooh!

Dark1:

Whitelexi, have u any advice for your bro? Me am getting womanliness whipped even b4 meeting her (kech) ooooh!

Dats how it starts bro. . .

server34:

Thanks Y'all for your input. @ kech, u be winsh? u just got the whole scenario right. I think its time to confess, there's more to the story.

I decided to take another chance and let her visit again for 1 week. But this time, she paid her fares, cos she could already sense that I was suspecting games. She came and the same thing happened - cold attitude, forced sex, used me as her driver to go shopping and do stuff, but visited male friends on her own. There's this particular guy I suspect that even comes to visit her, and they sit in his car outside my gate for hours. I made up my mind THAT WAS IT! She went back to the US and I couldn't get my mind off her. The way she talks, the way she smiles, even the way she makes me hate her for toying with my emotions, all this makes me love her even more! I see her face everytime I close my eyes. Av met several girls after her, and I cant help mentioning her when am with other girls. I go to bars to get drunk, pick up girls from the club and sleep with em. I never used to do these things, now I do all of em in an attempt to get her off my mind. BUT NO. . .  SHE'S LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD THATS STUCK ON REPLAY.

Ok now, she's finally moved back to Nigeria and resides in Lagos, I'm in Abuja. And she keeps calling and sending me sms that she wants me now more than ever. Av refused to answer her calls or reply her messages. Pleasee. . . . Am I on the right track to get her off my mind? Or am I just  running away from my "TRUE LOVE"? cos av neva felt this way abt any girl in my life b4.

you don kolo, run for your life!!!!!!!

Dark1:

Nope, I know what I want! I need a savvy babe who's also got a tender heart and would know how to treat a guy am guessing u're all these rolled into one! .

Whitelexi, have u any advice for your bro? Me am getting womanliness whipped even b4 meeting her (kech) ooooh!

Dude, I'm still yet to experience that condition where a man becomes a boy, so i'm afraid, we're on the level on this one

whitelexi:

Dude, I'm still yet to experience that condition where a man becomes a boy, so i'm afraid, we're on the level on this one

From what I've heard it is appointed unto man to undergo that phase once in a lifetym and the older u get the more dangerous it becomes. . . do the math!

Btw, where's my [b]ke[/b]t[b]ch[/b]up

funny thing about women is that she might actually like u,

u have been used and dumped,and u call that luv,am a lady,but pls wake up.

No2Atheism:

To be frank and truthful . . .I myself I am also guilty of the same . . .

@ poster, maybe the girl was disappointed with your look at the airport. I reckon it takes a certain  type of person to see thru profiles,and to project their own personality.

kpolli:

funny thing about women is that she might actually like u,

So true

But the greed is the dark side, thats when she wants it all, the guys, cars, attention, care, money, looks, freedom, space, fun, comfort, etc  In most cases, u wont find all those in one person

EDIT:

Missy B:

             

EDIT:

Nope it does not mean what I think you think . . .


What i mean is that i am guilty of extreme flirting with other ladies . . . even when i know i should not be flirting when I am already giving a lady the signals.

This is the first time i will see a guy bn played on emotionally.
@ poster
This lady is using u as a spare part in case there is problem with the other guy.She has seen u as a money bag so stop spending ur money on her.Maybe the other guy cant afford what u do for her.Please open ur eyes and look out for another love be4 u destroy ur life.U hv started going to club to drink ,pick up girls and sleep with them all becos a mere girl is playing on ur emotion/feeling.
Wake up!!!!! u r a man.What will u do if she finally  breaks ur heart?U will stop going to work or what?
Am a lady and i wont suppory a lady for doing that.And dont blame her also cos that is the kinda life she is living their so if u cant cope with it,just leave in peace be4 she destrys ur life.
You cant tell me there are no better and more girls that ur gf.I can bet it that there are some things u hv not found out abt her now that will blow ur head off if whn u discover.
She is wayward and not decent enuf to be taken as wife material ,my dear Lover Boy.

@missyB

EDIT:

I am a very blunt person. I am blunt with people as I am blunt with myself.

Hence even me self i dey fear my own bluntness at times  . . . but to be frank, from experience, my bluntness is good and useful in most cases (such as this). 

Hence as far as I am concerned . . .

- Flirting with another lady when you are not supposed to is equivalent to cheating . . .
- In my own book, you do not have to sleep with another lady before i consider it to be cheating . . . hence when i say I am guilty of the same , I am not saying that I am sleeping around NEITHER am I saying that I did exactly what the lady did.

Nope I am only saying that:

I AM ALSO GUILTY OF STALLING AND ALSO TRYING TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN.

The truth is that the very act of trying to keep your options open is technically cheating . . . if we want to be frank with ourselves . . .


-------------------------------

In my book,

- When a lady flirts with another guy even though she has already commenced a semblance of convo with another guy . . . that is technically a form of cheating.
- The same applies to a guy . . .

So in reality . . . the idea of saying you have  backup  is cheating pure and simple.

the idea of saying you have  backup  is cheating pure and simple.

Cheating = Cheating
[Cheating]x2 = Cheating
Therefore, [Cheating]xn = Cheating

Therefore, having more than one back-up = same crime as having only one back-up

No2Atheism:

- Flirting with another lady when you are not supposed to is equivalent to cheating . . .

It boils down to Your personal definition ''Flirting''.
It can be harmless fun, when both parties understand the rules.
Flirting is potential cheating only when there's emotional intent behind it.
So, until one or both parties begin(s) to add emotions and cross the line,
It's not cheating.
[s]Feel free to flirt wiff me . . . .I understand the rules. [/s]

No2Atheism:

- In my own book, you do not have to sleep with another lady before i consider it to be cheating . . .

I concur!!!
In addition, Flirting sometimes leads to (Is not) emotional cheating.

No2Atheism:

hence when i say I am guilty of the same , I am not saying that I am sleeping around. I am not saying that I did exactly what the lady did.

Actually, I didn't even read any meaning to Your post.
The 'shock smiley' was an attempt to flirt with You.
Now that I actually got Your reply . . . . I'm satisfied.

No2Atheism:

So in reality . . . the idea of saying you have  backup  is cheating pure and simple.

Yes, I agree.

whitelexi:

Cheating = Cheating
[Cheating]x2 = Cheating
Therefore, [Cheating]xn = Cheating

Therefore, having more than one back-up = same crime as having only one back-up

Am pleased we agree on this . . .  . . . DARTH LEXI . . . 

Hence why I am blunt enough to crucify myself . . . since as far as I am concerned, once a man starts giving a lady the signals . . . it then amounts to cheating if the same man starts flirting with other ladies . . .

Thanks y'all . . . I must say av learnt a lot already.

LOL
Thats the problem with you guys. Because the babe dey USA thats why you think you fell in love. You never jam. lol

Ok, seriously, forget her and forget whatever you think you guys might have. Once there is no chemistry there is nothing you can work out here. If you guys have a chance of being together, the chemistry will have to be there, ok.

The fact is that you're simply used.

NB:
This isn't Ujujoan, it's tof-enof
lol

Ujujoan:

LOL
Thats the problem with you guys. Because the babe dey USA thats why you think you fell in love. You never jam. lol 

Duh! And dat means? I laugh at u with my fingers for u think with your fingers. Thats the problem with you girls with tiny brains. Because a guy writes from Abuja doesn't mean he hasn't lived in the USA before. And the girl staying in the USA is no reason for my falling in luv with her.

Ujujoan:

Ok, seriously, forget her and forget whatever you think you guys might have. Once there is no chemistry there is nothing you can work out here. If you guys have a chance of being together, the chemistry will have to be there, ok.

The fact is that you're simply used. 

NB:
This isn't Ujujoan, it's tof-enof
lol

Ok seriously, thanks for your advice. I appreciate!

Would you still feel used if you didn't have to pay for her first trip, be her dedicated driver on the second visit?
Talk to the girl about how you feel and your fears for the relationship. Don't throw money or your time at her and see if she changes.
If she doesn't then it def means she's with you for one thing or the other so u gotta get stepping

A

PLEASE FORGET HER. SHE IS JUST USING YOU. [color=#990000][/color]

You are being used.By the time you know what is happening it is too late. My people say that "ogbu oge nwere
plan". Be wise.

Most men are like that, you always go for beauty, without looking out for the good qualities that the lady has.Marriage is a long life relationship remember.A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.

"atuoro omara, omara, atuolu ofeke, ofenye isi na ohia"

@poster
To my understanding i shall tell you and 4rm experience i will tell you!
You see LOVE is undefinable, the person whom you LOVE mint not LOVE you and the person who LOVE'S you,you mint not LOVE her.

I suggest that you try and get to her place invite her for a discussion in any close eatery at her place or place. Chat her and let her be carried away with laughter.Then you brieng her down to a serious moment, tell her how you av been feeling the first time you met her online,tell her how you felt when she first came naija to see you(she promise a week and spent just 5 days). Tell her what you actually want her for(girl friends stoff or real love?).

Then xpress your self emotionally by holding her hands,bring her more closer to you and even playing with her hands and hair(lovely way), let your words touch her heart and mind not just her body.
Then if she doesn't come to your line of beleif life goes on my brother
tori emi o le ku fu obirin oooooooo.

@OP

Seems you've got enough advice from posters. Count your losses and learn from this experience. People have been through worse and were able to get through. Focus on the positives (if any) and find a new girlfriend!

wat goes around comes around maybe u ve done that in the past(dumped, jilted a lady b4)

be wise bro

The only thing I have gained from this topic is the new slang facebooking.

Keep on facebooking until you meet your true love.

Interesting