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Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations - Travel (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by moonraker(m): 5:33am On Apr 19, 2017
tobiasbeecher:

Then if you're being overwhelmed by all these bills, I wonder what you're still doing over there? Why can't you bring your azz back to Nigeria?
For christ sake, the girl said the uncle is doing well and was helped somehow by her father, so why can't she be disappointed with such uncle when she knows he has the capacity to help out? You mustn't be a millionaire or make all the money abroad before you can help.


The bolded got me laughing. is that even a real question? Have you seen what is happening in Nigeria?
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Nobody: 8:09am On Apr 19, 2017
moonraker:
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but YOU cant force your uncle to help you

if he doesnt want to. Its all on him. Does that make him selfish?? Nope

Maybe you should stop looking at the situation from one perspective. Which is yours..

Do you know how he survives?

Do you even have an idea of the kind of bills he has to pay on a monthly bases?

Young lady, Europe isnt Nigeria. get that into your head.

I am not exactly sure what he faces but let me give you an idea of what it entails to live in the Asian region.


Health insurance

City Insurance

Housing Insurance

Social Insurance

Tv license


Then we come down to personal expenses


Water, electricity, gas, Internet (Fiber and Mobile) , Mobile phone, Rent, Petrol for car

By the time your done with all that, what do you think is left?? Yah, exactly!

Those who really want to help will do so without complaining forget about those bills don't give excuses on his behalf

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Abudu2000(m): 8:21am On Apr 19, 2017
it is true but some preffer to help their blood relation only, my cousin is there and the guy's is really doing stuff for his brother eric, as in eric has no job but he changes cars every 3months, the guy was the first person in nigeria i saw an iphone 7plus with.....so it all varies though, even some no dey do for their own blood self,

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Lexusgs430: 8:31am On Apr 19, 2017
Justice96:


Those who really want to help will do so without complaining forget about those bills don't give excuses on his behalf


Have you considered the fact that some have nothing left to help with ? Possibly unemployed and collecting state handouts? Possibly in prison ? Possibly still an illegal immigrant and not fully sorted themselves out yet ? Possibly very depressed and receiving treatment for depression ? And a host of other reasons, why helping is not possible ?
And why is that he/she has to render help ? Why can't the relations expecting help, also render help ?

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by toluine56(m): 9:23am On Apr 19, 2017
Justice96:


Those who really want to help will do so without complaining forget about those bills don't give excuses on his behalf
Best and most reasonable comment so far.

What's the exchange rate of dollar to naira?

#10000 now sef is about $35 and that's me being moderate. Now if you staying abroad doing the most menial job and can't help ur people back home even with as little as #35 even if its once in a year, then forget it its either you're selfish, greedy or you don't just care about others. I have a relation abroad (not blood o) and she sends little cash once every year. I still grumble about the amount, but deep down I still appreciate it cos I know it ain't easy. This is someone with four kids and also schooling herslf. Call a spade a spade, there's absolutely no excuse for not helping no matter how little once you're abroad and I'm basing my argument on the exchange rate.

5 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Lexusgs430: 11:05am On Apr 19, 2017
toluine56:

Best and most reasonable comment so far.

What's the exchange rate of dollar to naira?

#10000 now sef is about $35 and that's me being moderate. Now if you staying abroad doing the most menial job and can't help ur people back home even with as little as #35 even if its once in a year, then forget it its either you're selfish, greedy or you don't just care about others. I have a relation abroad (not blood o) and she sends little cash once every year. I still grumble about the amount, but deep down I still appreciate it cos I know it ain't easy. This is someone with four kids and also schooling herslf. Call a spade a spade, there's absolutely no excuse for not helping no matter how little once you're abroad and I'm basing my argument on the exchange rate.

What about if they are unemployed ? Don't you think the relations expecting funds, should also consider sending their unemployed relative some funds ?
Do they convert the $ in America, before it is spent ?
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by toluine56(m): 11:19am On Apr 19, 2017
Lexusgs430:


What about if they are unemployed ? Don't you think the relations expecting funds, should also consider sending their unemployed relative some funds ?
Do they convert the $ in America, before it is spent ?
If you've been in the US, Canada for a year plus and you're unemployed, its either you're lazy, or just using it as a faucet to be selfish. My friend that just got to Ca less than a year ago does cleaning jobs and he still sends little stipends to his younger sis in Naija every two months though little.

If the family over here in Naija is well to do, then there'll be no need to help them in the first place. Now if someone travels out, completes his education and is unable to do something worthwhile either abroad or back home here with his/her foreign degree, that's a typical failure without apologies. I know there are exceptions, but 70% of them live comfortably at the end of it all.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Lexusgs430: 11:40am On Apr 19, 2017
toluine56:

If you've been in the US, Canada for a year plus and you're unemployed, its either you're lazy, or just using it as a faucet to be selfish. My friend that just got to Ca less than a year ago does cleaning jobs and he still sends little stipends to his younger sis in Naija every two months though little.

If the family over here in Naija is well to do, then there'll be no need to help them in the first place. Now if someone travels out, completes his education and is unable to do something worthwhile either abroad or back home here with his/her foreign degree, that's a typical failure without apologies. I know there are exceptions, but 70% of them live comfortably at the end of it all.

What if the person in question is illegal, and not able to get a job on the blackmarket ? Things are not always as rosy for all, like people always assume.......
I agree with you that 70% of them might live comfortable, but how do you know that the remaining 30% in question are not those that their relations are expecting from and not receiving ?

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by toluine56(m): 12:22pm On Apr 19, 2017
Lexusgs430:


What if the person in question is illegal, and not able to get a job on the blackmarket ? Things are not always as rosy for all, like people always assume.......
I agree with you that 70% of them might live comfortable, but how do you know that the remaining 30% in question are not those that their relations are expecting from and not receiving ?
Well, I'm not in support of illegals and it doesn't even make sense to expect gratification from illegals, at least not in the first few years they're trying to settle down.

It doesn't have to be rosy before you can help. There are jobs everywhere even for illegals in the US. You can always assist with the little you have. The truth is that if they can help, you'll surely know. We aren't stupid. If your uncle or relative for Naija here is well to do, shey you no go know?

That being said, I'm an advocate of 'everyone is responsible for his/her misfortunes or success', but that doesn't erase the fact that most relatives abroad don't wanna help is back home. I've seen the good and the bad. Probably you've nt experienced it before so you can't understand.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Lexusgs430: 12:39pm On Apr 19, 2017
toluine56:

Well, I'm not in support of illegals and it doesn't even make sense to expect gratification from illegals, at least not in the first few years they're trying to settle down.

It doesn't have to be rosy before you can help. There are jobs everywhere even for illegals in the US. You can always assist with the little you have. The truth is that if they can help, you'll surely know. We aren't stupid. If your uncle or relative for Naija here is well to do, shey you no go know?

That being said, I'm an advocate of 'everyone is responsible for his/her misfortunes or success', but that doesn't erase the fact that most relatives abroad don't wanna help is back home. I've seen the good and the bad. Probably you've nt experienced it before so you can't understand.

I laugh really hard.....
Your perception is true, but the person refusing to render help (if able to), would almost definitely have a reason or 2.
Do I expect help and gratifications from people, No. But if it's giving out of free will, it would definitely be more appreciated, than having to compel or making it a mandatory duty or responsibility.....

3 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Saintsquare(m): 1:25pm On Apr 19, 2017
tobiasbeecher:

Then if you're being overwhelmed by all these bills, I wonder what you're still doing over there? Why can't you bring your azz back to Nigeria?
For christ sake, the girl said the uncle is doing well and was helped somehow by her father, so why can't she be disappointed with such uncle when she knows he has the capacity to help out? You mustn't be a millionaire or make all the money abroad before you can help.
I owe u 3 bottles of Gulder lol ...

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Johnnyessence(m): 2:50pm On Apr 19, 2017
londoner:


And how will you get an international passport?
by applying in the nigeria immigration service. You can apply in your state or in any immigration office of your choice.
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Johnnyessence(m): 3:00pm On Apr 19, 2017
Abudu2000:
it is true but some preffer to help their blood relation only, my cousin is there and the guy's is really doing stuff for his brother eric, as in eric has no job but he changes cars every 3months, the guy was the first person in nigeria i saw an iphone 7plus with.....so it all varies though, even some no dey do for their own blood self,
hmmm oga oo no jobs but they blow the money anyhow. God dey shaaa.
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Johnnyessence(m): 3:04pm On Apr 19, 2017
Saintsquare:
When all those yeye uncle wan carry girlfriend and her family enter money go dey that time,op sha take am easy...
abi ooo. They just don't feel like helping niii.
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Johnnyessence(m): 3:07pm On Apr 19, 2017
londoner:


So you could get a hold on 8,000 Euro and you could not instead think of using that amount to set up a viable business in Africa? A certificate is not a job in itself and is a cost before it ever is a pathway to a well paying job or career. How long do you think you will work before you even save 8000 Euros outside of your cost of living?

Maybe God is trying to tell you something. Maybe your 'blessing' is right there in Nigeria so your attempts to run from it are blocked each time.

Have you thought about the possibility?
abeg read the op reply again. She said she didn't have that kind of money in her account. She has tried it second time but no statement of account to show for it to the school she applied to.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Johnnyessence(m): 3:10pm On Apr 19, 2017
tobiasbeecher:

Then if you're being overwhelmed by all these bills, I wonder what you're still doing over there? Why can't you bring your azz back to Nigeria?
For christ sake, the girl said the uncle is doing well and was helped somehow by her father, so why can't she be disappointed with such uncle when she knows he has the capacity to help out? You mustn't be a millionaire or make all the money abroad before you can help.
God will bless you bountifully jare. If the uncle want to help he will help. Likewise if he didn't want to render any help he won't do it.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Johnnyessence(m): 3:12pm On Apr 19, 2017
tobiasbeecher:

So all these rants are just for you to tell her to go and ask politicians for money? Abeg swerve, we know your type
abi oooo. That's life for you oooo. Lalasticla and Mynd abeg move it to front page. We need more helper for the op.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by 19naia(m): 3:16pm On Apr 19, 2017
tobiasbeecher:

So all these rants are just for you to tell her to go and ask politicians for money? Abeg swerve, we know your type

If you are not the one giving her money, what is your business knocking me about not giving her

Abeg, go and give her your money, or are you the type we know so well?

Put your own money on the table and then i will hear your rant.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Saintsquare(m): 3:22pm On Apr 19, 2017
Johnnyessence:
abi ooo. They just don't feel like helping niii.
they are just heartless seriously, at least he should clear the air that he can't help instead of avoiding her,we know there type Na....if anything happens now and he needs spiritual help that's when they realizes they have families in Africa.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Johnnyessence(m): 3:53pm On Apr 19, 2017
Saintsquare:
they are just heartless seriously, at least he should clear the air that he can't help instead of avoiding her,we know there type Na....if anything happens now and he needs spiritual help that's when they realizes they have families in Africa.
hmmm. Infact you aren't far from the truth. I strongly believe the white can't do such a thing. It is this african mentality that's drawing us back. What's there for him to help the op. Well all is well. I pray the helper will locate her.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Nobody: 5:13pm On Apr 19, 2017
Lexusgs430:
[/b]

Have you considered the fact that some have nothing left to help with ? Possibly unemployed and collecting state handouts? Possibly in prison ? Possibly still an illegal immigrant and not fully sorted themselves out yet ? Possibly very depressed and receiving treatment for depression ? And a host of other reasons, why helping is not possible ?
And why is that he/she has to render help ? Why can't the relations expecting help, also render help ?


Then come back home. You see despite all the above mentioned they will keep on showing off on social media snapping pics at the elfel tower, London Bridge and others and your people back home will think all is well not knowing you don't even have somewhere to dust your feet at night how much more rest your head. Comeback home and stop giving us lavish excuses unless you are in prison

What do you mean by depression and get treatment for depression? Depression is not a disease my dear but if not handle properly it could lead to death because it's a situation whereby there is very little of economic activity which causes alot of unemployment and poverty in that case you will be sad and feel you cannot enjoy anything because your situation is so difficult and unpleasant.... However this too is not an excuse when you have a lot of people looking up to you and you complaining of depression

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Lexusgs430: 5:47pm On Apr 19, 2017
Justice96:



Then come back home. You see despite all the above mentioned they will keep on showing off on social media snapping pics at the elfel tower, London Bridge and others and your people back home will think all is well not knowing you don't even have somewhere to dust your feet at night how much more rest your head. Comeback home and stop giving us lavish excuses unless you are in prison

What do you mean by depression and get treatment for depression? Depression is not a disease my dear but if not handle properly it could lead to death because it's a situation whereby there is very little of economic activity which causes alot of unemployment and poverty in that case you will be sad and feel you cannot enjoy anything because your situation is so difficult and unpleasant.... However this too is not an excuse when you have a lot of people looking up to you and you complaining of depression

Be like say pesin do you long tin. LOL
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Lexusgs430: 5:49pm On Apr 19, 2017
Justice96:



Then come back home. You see despite all the above mentioned they will keep on showing off on social media snapping pics at the elfel tower, London Bridge and others and your people back home will think all is well not knowing you don't even have somewhere to dust your feet at night how much more rest your head. Comeback home and stop giving us lavish excuses unless you are in prison

What do you mean by depression and get treatment for depression? Depression is not a disease my dear but if not handle properly it could lead to death because it's a situation whereby there is very little of economic activity which causes alot of unemployment and poverty in that case you will be sad and feel you cannot enjoy anything because your situation is so difficult and unpleasant.... However this too is not an excuse when you have a lot of people looking up to you and you complaining of depression

This your justice96 judgements, you no dey measure am before you dish am out.... ...
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by londoner: 7:53pm On Apr 19, 2017
tobiasbeecher:

Then if you're being overwhelmed by all these bills, I wonder what you're still doing over there? Why can't you bring your azz back to Nigeria?
For christ sake, the girl said the uncle is doing well and was helped somehow by her father, so why can't she be disappointed with such uncle when she knows he has the capacity to help out? You mustn't be a millionaire or make all the money abroad before you can help.

If he adds another person and his bills it may then overwhelm him. Maybe he has struck the right balance between what he is paid and his lifestyle. The term 'doing well' means nothing. You take it to mean he has extra to give her (which most Nigerians imagine to be the case for people abroad) which is not necessarily true in most cases.

If he is doing that where he lives why would he go back to Nigeria? Maybe he has accepted that system and what it means to live there.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by londoner: 8:02pm On Apr 19, 2017
Johnnyessence:
hmmm. Infact you aren't far from the truth. I strongly believe the white can't do such a thing. It is this african mentality that's drawing us back. What's there for him to help the op. Well all is well. I pray the helper will locate her.

You obviously have never lived around White people and their extended family.One thing non African families don't do like Nigerians sadly seem to do often is seek to use, dupe and leech off each other. It is that lack of family feeling towards those abroad that makes us avoid you.

How many times has the op ever picked up the phone to call and see if this man is okay, or how things are going?

Many ONLY ever contact people abroad to ask for money most times or to prepare for coming call where they will ask for funds AGAIN. People get sick of it especially when all around them abroad they see families that function properly and not as a bowl of leeches.

It is to the point that people have stopped informing their family and friends about their trips to Nigeria.

7 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by londoner: 8:13pm On Apr 19, 2017
Johnnyessence:
by applying in the nigeria immigration service. You can apply in your state or in any immigration office of your choice.

Nigerian immigration can only issue a Nigerian/ ECOWAS passport.
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by londoner: 8:20pm On Apr 19, 2017
Johnnyessence:
abeg read the op reply again. She said she didn't have that kind of money in her account. She has tried it second time but no statement of account to show for it to the school she applied to.

Then the op should cut her coat according to her size. People are trooping to Ghana and South Africa to study. She should apply there.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by Nobody: 9:46pm On Apr 19, 2017
Lexusgs430:


Be like say pesin do you long tin. LOL

LOL Bros na the matter be that
Person like u dey abroad u nor fit epp
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by ccollins(m): 10:00pm On Apr 19, 2017
Justice96:
My sister in Europe help us alot... She has built a house for my parents and established stores for my sisters as well and she's presently planning to take me to Europe, we are almost done with the paper. It varies
did Your parents help her out before
Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by moonraker(m): 10:50pm On Apr 19, 2017
londoner:


If he adds another person and his bills it may then overwhelm him. Maybe he has struck the right balance between what he is paid and his lifestyle. The term 'doing well' means nothing. You take it to mean he has extra to give her (which most Nigerians imagine to be the case for people abroad) which is not necessarily true in most cases.

If he is doing that where he lives why would he go back to Nigeria? Maybe he has accepted that system and what it means to live there.


Thank you... The amount of bullshit on this thread is alarming..

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by moonraker(m): 10:54pm On Apr 19, 2017
londoner:


You obviously have never lived around White people and their extended family.One thing non African families don't do like Nigerians sadly seem to do often is seek to use, dupe and leech off each other. It is that lack of family feeling towards those abroad that makes us avoid you.

How many times has the op ever picked up the phone to call and see if this man is okay, or how things are going?

Many ONLY ever contact people abroad to ask for money most times or to prepare for coming call where they will ask for funds AGAIN. People get sick of it especially when all around them abroad they see families that function properly and not as a bowl of leeches.

It is to the point that people have stopped informing their family and friends about their trips to Nigeria.


Good points made. They say : it is the person that puts on the shoe, that knows where it hurts him the most.

Based on the responses so far, you can tell that most of them have never lived outside of Nigeria and well i think it safe to say that they are merely talking out of their ass.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Living Abroad Rarely Help Their Relations by lymelyte(m): 11:10pm On Apr 19, 2017
fergieboy:
Hahahah see this one.. What of me where my own father is in Canada for so many years and doing very fine.. Abandoned us here and married a white women .. Did I die? No
you nor go kill me..lol grin

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