Mirandah:

This melted my heart.

women seem to have this entitlement mentality that it's the duty of a man to Feed, clothe, provide and takecare of them. I don't get where all these stems from? maybe years of Mental slavery from the part of patriarchs

moonraker:


The bolded. I am curious. is it in a married setting or a relationship??

But check this out for size, the woman you described in your statement, where was she when that made man was hustling under the sun and

rain to become what he is?? Do you know what that made man had to go through before he became made??

The way Nigerian women think these days

Prevho:
First, dating a broke guy is your own perogative but at least, date one with potentials and big dreams.
“If you want to eat frog, eat the one with eggs”.

Second, if you cannot stay, do not stay. Some broke guys are very analytical, they know when you are not for real and when chips are down, they drop you like a bag of potatoes.

Now this is coming on the back of Kondomatic comment on this thread: https://www.nairaland.com/3944387/staying-him-when-he-broke
I feel it is imperative we trash this once and for all. I keep hearing ladies talking about how a guy they stood with when he was broke ditched them when he made it.

No logical and smart man will ever leave a lady who stood with him in this life, especially during his trying period.
The problem we have here though is in how you interpret the word “STAND”.

Most girls think standing with a broke guy means not asking him for money, giving him sex as he wants, cooking for me perpetually, not nagging and generally docile.

Most girls are actually STANDING without any verbal and active efort and they watch the guy do all the heavy lifiting, now when it is time to reap they say they were with you, REAAAAALLLLYYY!

The real idea here is the value of your worth in his eyes and how he rates you, there is a way you place yourself and you just become a time machine to him and he rides till he can get a better one.

You don’t pamper such guy or what other challenge is there for him to see (when in the real sense, you should be the challenge), instead you need to change your role.

So what does STANDING” with a broke guy means…

Most of the girls who claim guys leave them are mostly docile and when they act, they make it seem like they are doing you a great favor, broke guys can smell that from afar.

It simply refers to the level of influence you had in his life to achieving or actualizing his future ambition or getting better in life.
Are you the cornerstone or the pavement stone?


How much of your imprint and name will be mentioned when he tells that story?

ASK YOURSELF: If that guy was a company, what percentage will be your own share?

In this context, things like food, sex and even little financial push does not really count, there is a lot that matters more
The following are some of what you should aim to be and he also has to see you in the same light:

You have to become his -
Motivator everyday
Catalyst for success
A reason to be a success etc.

You may not help him financially, but once he can tie you in with his grass to grace story, my sister, you are going nowhere!
Some guys can be ruled out though, but it is only a negligible percentage.

Disclaimer: This is my own opinion

lalasticlala

AnonyNymous:

I don't understand. What is wrong with the high maintenance woman working for her own money and maintaining herself, BY HERSELF? Doesn't she have a brain? Two hands? An education? Haven't women fought for equal rights everywhere? Aren't women allowed to do everything men can do? Don't you brag about 'anything men can do we can do better' So why should she still be selecting men who are financially buoyant to do things for her? What is she good for, then? Sex? Making babies? And then you ask why men objectify women. If you have no value apart form shitting kids from your vagina then you will be seen as nothing more than a tool. A machine to use and enjoy when she's young and beautiful and when she's older with sagging breasts, cheat on her with a younger, fresher girl sexual object. If you love a man, you love a man, and his financial status should not even be in the question. If you want money you can earn it yourself, don't you think? Making a statement like you did just makes the goal of 'feminism' one sided. That is, to give all benefits that used to be exclusively for men to women, without women having to do the same. Its a bit hypocritical, don't you think?

AnonyNymous:

Yes, its mental slavery, I agree. Society has oppressed women for a long time. But now that we are more 'enlightened' people only want to aokve the 'female oppression' without addressing the 'male oppression'.

Women fought for women's rights- for the good parts. They want to go to school, vote, take leadership positions, and I agree with that I love that! Empower women!

But here's where I have a problem. They don't want the responsibility that comes with it. Having access to all of those no longer gives you the RIGHT to depend on a man. You can't eat your car and have it back. Men are forced into the military in some countries during tines of war, for example. If you asked the women if they would like to be forced in the military as well (because, you know, equal rights) they'd disagree. But the thing is we are not even asking for that. All we say is that if men and women have access to the same rights now then men and women should have equal responsibility for managing their own lives.

Thus is why I think feminism is bullshit and I am a string supporter of egalitarianism. Men and women are equal but different. They should have complimentary rights but complimentary responsibility we as well.

Seanjay:




Bros i de feel you jare..... it a pity that thread like this i always see them late...

cc: AMARABAE cc: BENITA27

WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE GUYS THAT NEED TO BE RICH BEFORE THEY CAN DATE OR BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?

ARE YOU SAYING THE MALE FOLKS ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT ARE BROKE OR CAN BE BROKE?

SO FEMALE FOLKS CANT BE BROKE OR ARE NOT BROKE?

WHY ARENT YOU OPENING THREAD FOR YOUR FEMALE FOLKS ALSO TO BE RICH AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENT BEFORE DATING OR GOING INTO ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIP

IF TRULY LADIES ARE NOT GOLD DIGGERS OR ALWAYS AFTER THE MONEY THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO GET MONEY FIRST BEFORE I CAN DATE THEM THEN?

THIS IS THE REASON WHY RICH GUYS DONT HAVE RESPECT FOR THEIR SPOUSES OR GF CAUSE THEY BELIEVE IF THEY DONT HAVE THE MONEY THEY WONT DATE THEM NOT TO TALK OF STAYING...

I THINK IT TIME YOU THINK YOUVE ADVICE THE MALE FOLKS ENOUGH AND FOCUS ON YOUR FEMALE FOLKS ALSO TO MAKE MONEY AND BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT BEFORE GOING INTO RELATIONSHIPS OR DATING SO THAT THE GUY CAN HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THEM ALSO....


I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE ALL THANKS..... JOHNSON

Amarabae:
A LETTER TO THE BROKE GUYS.
.
-
Greetings all!
I will like to briefly to thank all who wished me a Happy Birthday yesterday.
Thank you my Darlings. *kisses*
-
Back to my main subject, THE BROKE GUYS.
I have noticed that one of the most frustrating moments in a man's life is when he is broke!
This era of financial scarcity always leave many men with feeling of emptiness,
No wonder the sighting of that word "BROKE" always touches the nerve in many guys, no wonder the insults, bullying and aggressiveness they exhibit as a response to any thread that is dedicated to such a dreaded word.
-
NOW Broke Guys listen, let me give you a bit of advice..
-
Every woman dream of a comfortable future, a future where even if she is not been treated like a queen, atleast she will not be a slave.
Most ladies grew up and saw the financial difficuly and suffering their mothers went through in the name of marriage and thereby took a resolution not to be part of that fate.
So before you blame them for rejecting you as a broke guy, remember this.
1. Being broken is NOT a permanent situation, work hard to change the status.
2. Even if you are an unemployed graduate, you can raise a capital and move into business.
-
FINANCIAL STABILITY AND SECURITY is an Important Requirement many women look at including me.
How can you expect a girl to reject a rich guy for you that live in a public yard and earn below #30,000 monthly?
The girl may really love you but she need a partner who is Financially stable,
Many ladies are not looking for a Dangote kind of guy but a Hardworking Financially Stable Guy.
and I see nothing wrong in that.
He may not have his own house, atleast let him afford a 1 or 2-bedroom flat.
He may not have a murano or quest, atleast let him afford a mercedes even if it is old model.
Women just want to be comfortable.
So Mr Broke guy,
Why not focus on improving your financial status instead?
From #30,000, aim to be getting atleast up to #70,000 and above, monthly.
From Public yard, aim at living in a comfortable apartment.
-
No woman want to suffer, YES the woman may have a good job or business, but she need an equal or higher earner than her as a partner.
You get the drift?.
ALSO.
Some Broke Guys are LAZY in nature!
Women do appreciate hardworking guys, we do.
But the lazy type! Hush.
There are many unemployed graduate who love staying indoors, sleeping and always online looking for a girl to bully.
Why are such guys suprised at being broke?
They are proud and lazy to humble themselves and learn an income earning skill.
Tomorrow, these are guys who will be calling girls "GOLD DIGGERS" for rejecting their lazy azz.
-
Dear broke guy, Wake up,
Work hard to improve your financial status,
Go and learn an income earning Skill,they are many out there to learn from.
My Final point is that a guy should be financial stable first before thinking of a serious relationship or marriage.
OK. Broke is not permanent to a hard working guy.
LOVE YOU ALL.
Thank you.

partnerus:

You've made my day with your write-up. This got me laughing. Yes I know what it feels like cause I'm a living witness too. I got dumped by a girl I spent my last kobo for during NYSC era and after that, she parted ways with me and settled with another man. According to her, she loves me and still does till now but for the fact that I wasn't financially stable with an uncertain future prompted her bid me goodbye. I wept and cried for several weeks as I remained indoors cause I loved her so much. Then spontaneously, I embraced reality and made several photocopies of my CV and went job hunting. Today I work and do some other hustling to make ends meet. I am not saying I am there yet ooo... but I have learnt that every woman needs an OK guy for a husband if you know what I mean. Now, I don't approach a lady again. That has been postponed till things stabilises. Thanks for your write-up. It was just a reminder of my resolution.

Seanjay:




Bros i de feel you jare..... it a pity that thread like this i always see them late...

cc: AMARABAE cc: BENITA27

WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE GUYS THAT NEED TO BE RICH BEFORE THEY CAN DATE OR BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?

ARE YOU SAYING THE MALE FOLKS ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT ARE BROKE OR CAN BE BROKE?

SO FEMALE FOLKS CANT BE BROKE OR ARE NOT BROKE?

WHY ARENT YOU OPENING THREAD FOR YOUR FEMALE FOLKS ALSO TO BE RICH AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENT BEFORE DATING OR GOING INTO ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIP

IF TRULY LADIES ARE NOT GOLD DIGGERS OR ALWAYS AFTER THE MONEY THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO GET MONEY FIRST BEFORE I CAN DATE THEM THEN?

THIS IS THE REASON WHY RICH GUYS DONT HAVE RESPECT FOR THEIR SPOUSES OR GF CAUSE THEY BELIEVE IF THEY DONT HAVE THE MONEY THEY WONT DATE THEM NOT TO TALK OF STAYING...

I THINK IT TIME YOU THINK YOUVE ADVICE THE MALE FOLKS ENOUGH AND FOCUS ON YOUR FEMALE FOLKS ALSO TO MAKE MONEY AND BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT BEFORE GOING INTO RELATIONSHIPS OR DATING SO THAT THE GUY CAN HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THEM ALSO....


I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE ALL THANKS..... JOHNSON

BerryAnny:

Bro,i dey feel you. Giddem!!!

vivienne03:


She was working hard extensively to achieve her goals, so what exactly is your point?
Please don't reply to this if you can't explicitly state your argument

WebSurfer:


Don't mind this one, I almost got married to one of her likes. They will be there depending on a man instead of going out to make thier own money and still come to say utter rubbish and senseless things against us.

Stevengerd:
Exactly what appens when u dnt ave proper upbringing. no respect for herself, as a married woman. bro i knw her type. by the time am done with all of them, nairaland woult contain us.

Amarabae:
Chai. These guys have cooked me in this thread.
Pele o.
Hahahahaha.

WebSurfer:

Abeg just free them bro.. it's not worth our time.. let their husbands suffer it alone

Amarabae:
thank you for the question.
Like I said before, being "BROKE" is not a big thing to hardworking guys, they put in effort and overcome it.
But being BROKE is like a huge mountain to many LAZY GUYS.
Ok?
BROKE is an identity and a guys with foresight and determination always try to escape it or throw it off.

Mup4life:
YE AT LEAST ,I AGREE AM BROKE, AM NOT SOME DIMWIT TRYING HARD TO BE NOTICED. BROKE ASS NIGA

Augustap:

, the only lefulefu that can summarize long posts

Nma27:
Hahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahaha..... Broke guy should date a rich girl, broke girl should date a rich guy... Simple.

lefulefu:

ehn we do english summary dat time for secondary sch
how u?
gud afternoon
hope ur body dey kampe

Augustap:

Good afternoon paddy. My body dey kampe, how far your own?

lefulefu:

it hardly works dat way.how many of igbenedion children are married to poor families?
in naija its the rich marrying the rich.class move with class.what they show in nollywood doesnt happen in d real world .

Lalas247:

Sounds EXPENSIVE wetin be that

lefulefu:

haba na d name of one big man for edo state
havent u heard of the igbenedion family ?
all im children na fellow rich ppl dem dey marry
one of igbenedion dauther got married to ex senate president mantu"s son.so na so e be .d rich always roll with the rich.

Lalas247:

I knew it . Maybe thats why it sounds family
Not really informed with the Edo tribe etc true though noticed rich marry rich

Amarabae:
Chai. These guys have cooked me in this thread.
Pele o.
Hahahahaha.

lefulefu:

oh my body dey strong
no sickness no wahala
hmm wey dacovajnr?
anyway sha i be jus dey listen to this song by jennifer lopez called my love dont cost a thing

Augustap:

I never see am o, victornezzar nko.
Those guys fit don go chop snail