Nayah: Poster, why do you want to control her? don't you trust her? if not you can have headache because if she wants to cheat on you she will and without your knowledge. I truly believe that when you're with someone you should'nt try to control her, but support her and complete her ( same for guys) or else you can be very sad

This is not about "remote" controlling someone ....it's about self-control and staying in the driver's seat of your relationship before a woman drives you to another destination. You have way too many young men acting the fool and giving up control of their relationships to their own ruin. The other day someone's girlfriend here slapped him and he started crying ...even came to Nairaland to post. How bad can it get?

A man needs to maintain control lest he gets controlled. It's that simple.

tai2:

This is not about "remote" controlling someone ....it's about self-control and staying in the driver's seat of your relationship before a woman drives you to another destination. You have way too many young men acting the fool and giving up control of their relationships to their own ruin. The other day someone's girlfriend here slapped him and he started crying ...even came to Nairaland to post. How bad can it get?

A man needs to maintain control lest he gets controlled. It's that simple.

No, people has to control themselves, your wife is not your child sorry. Now you can talk to her to make her understand her role in your couple ( moral, values ...) but I'm sorry you can't control your wife as you can do it for your child, that's a mistake

You

Nayah:
No, people has to control themselves, your wife is not your child sorry. Now you can talk to her to make her understand her role in your couple ( moral, values ...) but I'm sorry you can't control your wife as you can do it for your child, that's a mistake

Your argument assumes that a woman is a rational creature. I've met many an irrational one in my time and most women do things that defy logic so true control is required. Read through Nairaland and you'll see examples of women doing things that defy logic and rational thinking and then you tell me how such women will sit down and listen to explanations. Lol.

tai2: You

Your argument assumes that a woman is a rational creature. I've met many an irrational one in my time and most women do things that defy logic so true control is required. Read through Nairaland and you'll see examples of women doing things that defy logic and rational thinking and then you tell me how such women will sit down and listen to explanations. Lol.

My dear brother...control and advise are different terms....

Nayah:
My dear brother...control and advise are different terms....

Some pple never seem to amaze me. Have u actually read his post to understand what he means by control. Don't jst block ur mind to what he has to say just because u heard d word "control".
lookin at it d poster is makin a lot of sense. It is obvious that women are attracted to men who command respect and seem to be in charge of their world and d women they date. Or would u like to date a man u can slap? Or a man u you can't respect or a man who begs you all time acting confused. Jst b truthful to urself and stop misunderstanding because u heard d word control.

Ur words are like rain on the earth, love btw a man and woman died a long time ago, it's purely pay as you go, money for hand, back for ground. Keep up the good work!

frank3.16:


Some pple never seem to amaze me. Have u actually read his post to understand what he means by control. Don't jst block ur mind to what he has to say just because u heard d word "control".
lookin at it d poster is makin a lot of sense. It is obvious that women are attracted to men who command respect and seem to be in charge of their world and d women they date. Or would u like to date a man u can slap? Or a man u you can't respect or a man who begs you all time acting confused. Jst b truthful to urself and stop misunderstanding because u heard d word control.

I've read in fact but I was answering to his last statement and it's good when people amaze you it means they're spontaneous

bukatyne: i went thru this tread and i was like woaw! we have guys that stil think like this? and people wonder why there is so much bitterness in this country! some people even talk of real control in marriage! it's very obvious a lot of guys don't know wat love is about. pls read 1cor13:1-8, it's one of my favourite Bible passages. some christians even agreed to the OP. it has been said that people ll be desperately wicked and here we are. a guy even boasted that he ended his relationship on val's day! another boasted that he slept wit someone's fiancee and later they ll wonder why things re not working for them or why they re miserable in their marriages. ladies have to pray hard that God gives them their own man b'cos d heart of man is desperately wicked. a poster said something i like so much, if u change from a nice guy to a control guy cos a gal hurt u then my dear, the hurt is controllin u and u re not in control of anything cos when u don't express urself fully, u can never live life to the fullest. i'm also very grateful for this thread, i knew the treasure i had but such treads widen my opened eyes and help me to appreciate God's gracious gift to me. i ll text him tonight to appreciate him again! the Bible says 'he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord' and i believe it applies to women too! in the Nigeria of today wit such mindset flying about, a virtous woman who finds a faithful man who genuinely loves her is blessed of the Lord!

Its "born again" girls like you that "accidentally" run into your ex-bf and bleep him and then run back to your "caring" mugu boyfriend or finance that still thinks you're a virgin. This thread is for people like that boyfriend or finance that you're about to hurt, it'll teach him how to control you and whim you in line

Op's theory may not be acceptable to many especialy ladeis but everybody knows that this is the truth. Infact in my group or caucus we call it power once you loose it your relationship is like a car without brake which no one can predict the end. Open relationship dat many especialy girls advocate for is only for mature, deep religious and old girls who does need to play game or know what she wanted. Others about 90% needs this Op's control or power as we call it in my group to make it work.

tai2:
I used to be like many of the whiners here on Nairaland, “Oh I'm so in love with this babe but she's treating me badly, what do I do? what do I do?”. That was a long time ago and now I am wise and believe me I learnt from the school of hard knocks, this women dealt with me mercilessly until I actually sat down to analyze them and their ways and figured out the language they speak. If you think maintaining a woman is about excess love, showing affection, kindness, forgiveness, religion and all that bullsh*t, you're dead wrong, treat a woman too good, she will find an excuse to leave ( “I was once dumped by a chick who later told her friend, I was 'too nice'.”). But they will stay with an “omo rapala” that mistreats them day after day after day.

There are different levels of control, there is no control, artificial control and true control. No control is the default situation most guys fall into. They love a woman and believe everything she says in the heat of passion ”I'll never ever leave you”, “I can't wait to marry you” etc etc, and deceive themselves into overconfidence and over love. A no control guy does not know how to tell his babe no and is always apologizing even when it is not his fault. When they start exhibiting too much attention and love, the chick gets bored and starts looking for “rude boys” somewhere. Then her mind starts wavering and she starts telling you “I need space”, “I'm confused”. When you hear these words you're in trouble.

Unfortunately most young guy today no dey hear word and they will start reminiscing about the sweet nothings the babe told them when the going was good and continue to misbehave and show over love and over affection. Meanwhile one bad guy fit dey comb the babe for corner somewhere. In the end the chick leaves and the guy is in a wreck, crying, complaining to his friends begging etc and at that point the girl no go wan hear again, anything you're saying is a waste of time. A chick will bring up some of the dumbest excuses when she wants to dump you. She might regret leaving you later but all that one na Tales By Moonlight what matters is the wrecked condition she will leave you in at that moment.

This is so freaking true. It happened exactly the way you exposed. Dude, I hope she didn't narrate my experience with her to you. The mistake was I let her know she completed me and loved her with every breath in me. Bringing up the dumbest excuse just to walk away is very typical of the female folks. Why do girls strive in deceit and lies even when a guy is real and appreciate them wholeheartedly for who they are? Why is it near-impossible for a girl to appreciate a good guy? They leave men with more questions than answers. Thank goodness, I finally stepped out of my box and took the opportunity to experience a lesson in love. No regrets whatsoever even as I was broken to tiny million pieces. Though still afraid to try again.

Be wise, my brothers be wise, enough of these tears on Nairaland. These days more men come here to complain than women. This is a war we have to win at all costs. For the sake of the male reputation. For more advice, I am here all week. Remember I have been beaten before but I am now wise, I exercise true control now and take no nonsense from them. If you let them bring you down they will finish you and your village people will say it is the work of juju and your uncles and aunties.
[/quote]

Thanks for this piece

This post is a CLASSIC! I still come back to read to this post since 2009 when I first saw it!

Tai2 -> where are u? U just disappeared from NairaLand like that?...

tai2: Sure I might come up with a "How to Keep Your Man" especially for women who aren't after the contents of a guy's pocket and the kind of Mercedes he drives

Point of correction Sir. If u are talking about Naija ladies, they don't appreciate machines like mercedes, bmw, audi etc becus they lack taste and have zero knowledge about road monsters. All they know are Asian craps like toyota, honda, nissan, mazda and mitsubishi. Don't be suprsd if a man who drives a 2003 corrola snatches ur babe with d car while u drive a 2012 mercedes E 63 AMG.

teeowl: This post is a CLASSIC! I still come back to read to this post since 2009 when I first saw it!

Tai2 -> where are u? U just disappeared from NairaLand like that?...

Lol...I'm still here looking out for mugu's and still trying to give them the occasional bit of advice.

tpacalipse: Point of correction Sir. If u are talking about Naija ladies, they don't appreciate machines like mercedes, bmw, audi etc becus they lack taste and have zero knowledge about road monsters. All they know are Asian craps like toyota, honda, nissan, mazda and mitsubishi. Don't be suprsd if a man who drives a 2003 corrola snatches ur babe with d car while u drive a 2012 mercedes E 63 AMG.

Actually a lot of Nigerian women don't know how much a car costs, they simply know it looks flashy. You're right.

platinumnk:

LOL, no problem. I feel like im translating it for ladies lol
Bagging is like sexing, Pretends he has diabetes, Dont give him too much sugar

Just enough to go by


But again, some people are naturally overly affectionate, those ones needs to take time before they rush into things as their hearts can be easily broken


whats no worth it? a man or reading the post?

Nature is nature and nothing can beat it. Some people are naturally cruel, so it is easy for the to follow those advises while fome people are naturally affectionate and good. And how do they follow all that? Well, d best is to put a control on ursef. One of my rules has always been that I do not need any woman and if I had one, my money stays in ma pockets. And if she wanna leave, d door is open. After all my own mother made her money by her self without any contribution frm my papa.

As much as I dont agree with some of the content of the original post, I still think this thread is legen. . . .wait for it!. . . .dary!
OP certainly knows what he's talking about, and not a few have ACTUALLY learned from just reading his post

tai2: Lol, mugu was my story in the past, now I have the keys to control so I control, all this talk of being real is rubbish, This so-called love , ask yourself if you would stay in love with the person if they had one hand, one eye or one leg? At the end of the day when it boils down to what matters we are all superficial at one level or the other, why buy designer clothes instead of normal ones, why drive a Mercedes instead of a Honda, it's all image it's all superficial, we all act the part one way or the other and  we are all influenced by the superficial, people who talk of being real have no idea of what real is, if you want real, go to Deeper Life Bible Church and look for a real woman, no wig, no extensions, no expensive perfume or designer label clothes, lets see how much of real you can stand,

The deeper life women may not use all those beautiful things but they are not real at all. They are fake as hell.

duni04:
Its "born again" girls like you that "accidentally" run into your ex-bf and bleep him and then run back to your "caring" mugu boyfriend or finance that still thinks you're a virgin. This thread is for people like that boyfriend or finance that you're about to hurt, it'll teach him how to control you and whim you in line

On point!

So sad.

Mrs.Chima:
So sad.

So sad that woman never want to hear the truth...

Tai2 is back yippeeeee!!!! You're like a living walking Ladies man God to me. Even the dumbest mugu est guy on NL we'll completely agree with atleast 80% of ur original post. Women simply are not attracted to guys that don't have control. Women are like (sorry to say this) dogs. They need a strong leash on their neck unless they will make a mock of u and turn back to tell u that u're not man enuff (to control them). By control we don't me physical abuse. We mean making her understand at every point in time who is BOSS.

Controlling a woman in any way is complete bullshìt but it really cool to always let your lady know that you are a man of your word. Your NO should be NO!

The Op no doubt is a very sagacious and experienced man. As a veteran in this game, I can confirm the Op is 99% on point. The first deadly mistake some guys make is trying to force themselves on ladies. A guy must confirm a lady likes him to some extent b4 even asking her out and spending any reasonable amount of money on her. U can only control someone that likes and sends you. Then it's very dangerous to be too nice to ladies even the ones that love you. I av been applying most of the Op's tactics since I started dating and I can boldly say no lady has ever ditched me. I'm always fully in control of my relationships. Nobody believes when I tell them my fiance is older than me when they see how she relates with me. I don't talk too much. Op, GOD bless you.

OP did you write this yourself? Absolutely amazing post, it makes so much sense.

This guy must have been a real p.i.m.p or something.

duni04:
Its "born again" girls like you that "accidentally" run into your ex-bf and bleep him and then run back to your "caring" mugu boyfriend or finance that still thinks you're a virgin. This thread is for people like that boyfriend or finance that you're about to hurt, it'll teach him how to control you and whim you in line

your username says it all... you are a dumb person. Reread my post and if you don't understand, ask for clarifications!

smooooooth: i cant raise a hand on a woman, thats why i said its hard, but reading ur post is even harder. summarise it, just my advise.

You dnt have to read all.. Make use of ur intelligence to pick the salient points in all. I didnt read up to halve the entire article, I had to skip alot of lines in between buh I got the whole idea...

Nayah:
No, people has to control themselves, your wife is not your child sorry. Now you can talk to her to make her understand her role in your couple ( moral, values ...) but I'm sorry you can't control your wife as you can do it for your child, that's a mistake

This ain't more of physical control like sending someone on errands and stuffs like that. Its more of psychological control of situations

dmcdad:

This ain't more of physical control like sending someone on errands and stuffs like that. Its more of psychological control of situations

Leave them make dey yarn nonsense...

Control?? Me bad gon'... U said it all wryt bro'... CONFIDENCE, INDIFFERENT, AND UNPREDICTABLE.. I swear if ur woman can predict u, ure finished!! Oh, u didnt hear me wel? I said if ur woman can predict u, ure finishd oooo!! Nxt time wen she says 'baby i luv u'... Try som reply lyk ''u shud'' or ''i will if i were u''. It doesnt pay bin nice! Oh! U wana kal her 21timez a week nd snd her 365 txts a day tellin her hw wussy ure inlv wit her? Oh poor ass! It doesnt work dat way. Or mayb d 'baby' she calz u send gr8 shrillz down ya hrt.. Oh! lab rat! Pet names are romantic though, bt datz her sure way 2 control u. Try bin dat jerk she cals always wen her dumb ''babies'' send her cardz! Try bin chalengin and flirty and let her knw she nidz jus mo dan gudluks to get ur atention. And finaly, get d magic wand(sex machine)..hehehe! Ask a lady where she wantz her man 2 score d highest and she tell u BED instead of ACC.. Dey cant get rid of it.

Why do you want to control someone #justaskin'

Nayah: Why do you want to control someone #justaskin'

You still fail to get the point dear.