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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience (22967 Views)
Anambra Widow Sleeps Outside After She Was Thrown Out Of Her Home By Relatives / I'm Losing My Only Sister / How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by oladele00(m): 8:59pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
The same thing happened to a frnd of mine a long time ago. The family succeeded in sending the mother and his other siblings away. But he (friend) surround himself with all the bad boys of the community including my honourable self. All of us relocated to his father's house and we stayed there for almost a year. We brutalized the brutalizers and the brutalizers ran for there lives. That is the only honourable advice I can give to u my dear brother.. luv u 8 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by spiralwedge(m): 9:02pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
sulexrio: Well, there are some families you just have to turn your back to. Don't let anyone lie to you. Once you know you have that kind of family that is wicked and can do you evil, my brother na to flee o. And then change your surname if possible. 2 of my uncles did it and were extremely successful. I am towing their path. Some friends are better than family, they love you but place no demands or do not do you evil. They are our family friends. I can talk to them about anything, and i have their sincere advice. But family? Na that info dem go use finish you. We do not have extended family problems in my home. A good loving family is the best, but not everyone is that lucky. My generation has parents and grandparents who were polygamous and sometimes illiterate and fetish. Why would want to stick around such witches. Extended family mostly monitors your activities on social media, and if you are the type that displays much on FB, just know you are in soup, because your happiness and success make them unhappy. 6 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by NSK4U(m): 9:02pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
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Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by martineverest(m): 9:05pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
Op, u are very lucky man. Mine was worse |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 9:14pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
Zizicardo: How? Please share for others to learn from your experience. |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by spiralwedge(m): 9:15pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
supersystemsng: I've been reading your posts. You are my tweenie, though i do not come from the East. Life is more important. Better to flee. Most of those deaths of men with properties are usually spiritual attack. If families can kill one of their own, what is the children still waiting for? Fight? Secure property? Not wise. Go far and if possible, cut ties. Staying alive is far wiser than fighting for properties. Best to go hustle and build yours. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 9:19pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
ekems2017: How does inheritance work in the east. Inheritance is a clearly defined and simple matter where I come from. |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Nobody: 9:19pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
spiralwedge: Yes bro...Thanks for seconding the opinion..Moreso, they are not in the best of morale now for such issues |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 9:22pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
lonelydora: But if the mum killed the dad, does that make the uncles heirs? 3 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by onward4life(m): 9:26pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
IFEANNYI: Take Heart My Brother Be Strong All Through ooo Sorry 4 your Loss #HisPeaceMatters #thyWillBeDone! 3 Likes
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Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by voyy: 9:27pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
peacemara54: its dat honey dats so important in this thread u dummy... u cant even sympathize b4 advertizing ur watery honey ehn. 5 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 9:33pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
vibezz: I think it happened because your culture tolerate it. Where I come you from, you treat people who just lost their love one with care, most especially, non-adults children who lost their dad. Coming for their properties will see the whole village coming for your head. People are even afraid to ask for their debts if the man was owing for fear of being tagged heartless. 1 Like |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by chukzyfcbb: 9:36pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
such a pity, when I read about how a persons uncle troubles the family after the demise of a parent, I feel lucky to be borne into my family. Although I lost my dad few years now, I have never experienced pressures from any of my Uncles. Actually it has to do with the way the family does things, coz we do everything together in my family.. Op this is time to standup and be a MAN! If its property they are after , don't let them near it. Stand up for it!!! They may see u as a boy. but its time to show forth what Dad has taught you..... With wisdom and God, you will overcome! in all you do, pray for wisdom! #This was Davids last words to his son, Solomon.
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Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Nobody: 9:43pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
kenx1:3k??! That wicked! 1 Like |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by masks(m): 9:51pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
IFEANNYI:I seriously think you should change the topic of this news to something that won't deceive people....How are you dealing with the relatives?Nothing of that sort was written here. Secondly,you said they are lazy on the caption and nothing was explained to us about this except the accusations that was levelled on your mom......it's funny....this story is just full of self pity and am sorry to say not even near the caption put up...All the same...take heart and handle it like a man would...don't lose your cool. it will be well. 3 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Organs(m): 9:58pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
IFEANNYI: Ifeanyin, accept my sympathy. I will advice you the only way i know how, as a muslim. Yes, i agree that it was best to take him to a better hospital than a maternity clinic but all that is in the past now. Your dad died at God's own appointed time. If you had taken him to Mayo clinic in the US, maybe one of the best hospital in the World, he would still have died on that day and at that time cos he was destined to die on that day and time, no one can delay or advance it. Now to your relatives, in Africa when people die, there is always blame to pass around. People are blamed and people are held responsible for the death. Infact that is how we grieve, unfortunately, by blaming witches, enemies, family members, etc. So, dont quarrel with them, know that time is a healer instead educate them and share this hausa proverb, when its time, no medicine can work, period. 2 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by alezzy13: 10:08pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
tellwisdom: totally dry. effing donkey. |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by alezzy13: 10:12pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
SlayQueenSlayer: In most communities, if they can prove that the wife is to blame then they can make a strong case for her to be ostracized or even punished while they claim all the property. It becomes worse if the man happens to be most well-to-do among his siblings. Really sad |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by babiskinado(m): 10:17pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
Stay strong my brother. Its a stage of life. I have been through a similar experience. But God has the final say. Just remain prayerful amd read your Bible daily. Learn to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. Be wise as a serpent but innocent as doves. Be like the wind, which no man knows where it comes from or where it goes. Be a man of the Spirit. Gdenson 4 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by alezzy13: 10:22pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
Alariwo2: ITs not just an Igbo thing. I stayed in Warri and Benin for while and the practice was also very common there. It was especially tough for those whose husbands die while the children are very young. 1 Like |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by pbethel: 10:27pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
Lost my dad andmum about 4 years ago, he didn't even will any property to us his immediate � family, but to a total stranger hu was his neighbor during his youthful age. It was really tough but God never allowed us to b hungry. God have been using people to bless us in divers ways. Op b encouraged, things will turn out for d better |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Edosir(m): 10:29pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
peacemara54:I think u need pure sense first 2 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 10:36pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
alezzy13: Do the children loose the right to their inheritance in the case of that? |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by konfused: 10:50pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
IFEANNYI: Sorry for your loss dude, But no vex, whats the essence of posting this on NL, I dont get it, are you not sad enough he is dead? I don't understand 2 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Chidonc(m): 10:59pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
IFEANNYI:if you are already an adult and do not depend on them for anything, my brother no body should intimidate you, stop trying to be nice to anyone, I learnt that a long time ago after my mums death, stand your ground and make decisions for your family, trying to please them will only generate more problems for you, once they understand there is a limit to which you can tolerate them, an equilibrium of understanding would be drawn, hence no body would want to cross the line. 6 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Chidonc(m): 11:10pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
spiralwedge:sire I totally disagree with your ideology of life, it good to be peaceful and wise, but there comes a time in a man's life when he would stand up to face his challenges no matter How hard they are. there are sceneries where a man would look at his attacker and walks away, but there also comes a time when a man would look at his attacker turns his back to the wall and challenges him to a fight, great men are never born, they are made by their reation to every action taken against them 3 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Nobody: 11:12pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
My Dad's eldest brother invited us to come home for a meeting and to break the news to my grand mum. When we got there, the last born of the family got up and brought an iron rod to hit my sister with. This was a man who was on little talking terms with my dad while he was alive. I quickly reciprocated with a punch to his face as i could not be a party to such. He immediately started saying such things as on how we should come to claim my dad's property. To cut the story short. They brought some youths to harass me (i have picture evidence), but unfortunately for them some of my mums relation we went with, foresaw the danger and went to call the police. Now they've locked up my dad's showroom and refused to release the key to my mum. (I was at school when the locking up process took place). To make things worst, one of the relations called one of my dad's debtor whom we know owes him a lot of money, and she asked the woman not pay a dime to us. 4 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by harriet412(f): 11:16pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
All this babaric culture and tradition sef .. That was how my bestie sister lost her husband.. After accusing her of killing her husband, they forced her to shave her hair and collected all their joint properties even her personal car. Now she's stronger and doing better with her kids in abj.. But its not fair , they forget that they'll also die ..Dear op, i prày God see you through. |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by Nobody: 11:17pm On Aug 24, 2017 |
I'm just surprised that people i could eat with, dine with and look up to could behave this way. I was at the mortuary yesterday to see my dad's corpses and how they were taking care of it, and i suddenly realized how meaningless this life really is. We kill ourselves over things with little or no value/importance. 3 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by ponti93(m): 1:07am On Aug 25, 2017 |
If you want to live long... Ignore what haters say |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by stacyadams: 1:51am On Aug 25, 2017 |
then most fathers re part of the problem..the earlier they write a will and secure their childrens future..the better...most family relationns re pure evil..i see them smilling and pretending they re happy with you but deep down i know them....but i don prep for them fully. 3 Likes |
Re: Losing My Dad & Dealing With Lazy Relatives: My Experience by 9jatatafo(m): 1:59am On Aug 25, 2017 |
OP. keep your calm, don't argue with them but what you want to do, keep it to yourself. also try asap to take your mum and siblings back to Lagos. those people at home we call relatives are worst off than real enemies. protect all that your father left but be prayerful and wise enough. Always smile with them to dymistify them as no one knows what you are capable of doing but first you must come back to Lagos 1 Like |
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