[quote author=alezzy13 post=59797981]

In most communities, if they can prove that the wife is to blame then they can make a strong case for her to be ostracized or even punished while they claim all the property.

It becomes worse if the man happens to be most well-to-do amuote]


Not most communities please, you can say in some specific parts of Nigeria , where I come from widows and their children are hardly harrased and besides the cultures where this is prevalent they really don't need to have any proof against the wife, its like men don't dont die natural deaths anymore the wives must have killed them. Even if it was the mans family member that killed him, they will still say its the wife.

I don't even understand how some cultures give so much power to evil uncles


All these gra gra is for the father's properties.

IFEANNYI:
I lost my dad on the 14th of August and ever since then my family relations have been trying to frustrate me, my mum and my sister, even to the extent of threatening my life.

How my Dad died.

My Dad had diabetes and fell sick when he travelled to the east, Anambra State. Fortunately he was with my mum when everything started, unfortunately my relations where also present. They debated on the best hospital to take him to, my mum suggested he returned back to Lagos where he had a specialist taking care of him, our family physician also advised the same but due to ignorance, my dads brothers and sisters took him to a maternity hospital, where he died few days later.

The first thing my relations did was to start spreading rumours that my mum, and we the children killed our dad. How? How?
A man we loved so much, although we had our little differences, just like every other family. But we loved him, I've never seen my sister cry so much until the day we lost him.
They took him to a maternity hospital and now turned back to point fingers?
But i'm not interested in accusing anybody.
I just want people to learn from my experience.

My Dad's elder brother has been the only one different in the whole issue.

Sorry for your loss but I have some questions o. From the way you write I can tell that you are an adult. How can your father's relatives come to your house to move your father when he got adult children and a wife at home? Except you guys are still very young.

if you guys are still very young and your dad have properties his family know of. Guy you better get a lawyer fast o

IFEANNYI:
I lost my dad on the 14th of August and ever since then my family relations have been trying to frustrate me, my mum and my sister, even to the extent of threatening my life.

How my Dad died.

My Dad had diabetes and fell sick when he travelled to the east, Anambra State. Fortunately he was with my mum when everything started, unfortunately my relations where also present. They debated on the best hospital to take him to, my mum suggested he returned back to Lagos where he had a specialist taking care of him, our family physician also advised the same but due to ignorance, my dads brothers and sisters took him to a maternity hospital, where he died few days later.

The first thing my relations did was to start spreading rumours that my mum, and we the children killed our dad. How? How?
A man we loved so much, although we had our little differences, just like every other family. But we loved him, I've never seen my sister cry so much until the day we lost him.
They took him to a maternity hospital and now turned back to point fingers?
But i'm not interested in accusing anybody.
I just want people to learn from my experience.

My Dad's elder brother has been the only one different in the whole issue.

The fear of relatives is the beginning of wisdom.

Keep them at a safe distance.

Chidonc:

sire I totally disagree with your ideology of life, it good to be peaceful and wise, but there comes a time in a man's life when he would stand up to face his challenges no matter How hard they are. there are sceneries where a man would look at his attacker and walks away, but there also comes a time when a man would look at his attacker turns his back to the wall and challenges him to a fight, great men are never born, they are made by their reation to every action taken against them

I agree, but not in this case. When you are dealing with deadly family members over properties, my brother, it's better to flee or deal from distance. I know so many examples to conclude so.
My advice is that every man (as emphasised by you) should hustle well and build his own house. Never go to live in your father's house with your wife and kids, if you have envious and fetish family. Not worth it. The property will remain, the person may be killed or turned mad. So what's the point?

Zizicardo:
. My dad died on d 30th of march 2014, and since then, his brothers have bn pestering my life. Take heart bro, God be with you and your mom.

for me your dad did not do the needful,

no time to lay blame,he should av done check and balances to put his family first in case of unforseen that's when planning come.

u wanna live long,stay away from them,Mark faces and always remember but u can forgive but don't forget.

do ur thing focus on Ur life and 've successful.

Get all ur dads documents to somewhere safe immediately. Don't think twice about it

If you're the eldest son , you run the show.
Except you depend on others for financial support.
However your uncles also have a say and may need some accommodation.

Yea, you right. He didn't do d needful coz he was d youngest of them, so nobody suspected anything. Thanks for your advice, I'm already miles away from them. I canor coman go and kill myself away. And I have my mom to cater for.
Thanks

bayulll011:



for me your dad did not do the needful,

no time to lay blame,he should av done check and balances to put his family first in case of unforseen that's when planning come.

u wanna live long,stay away from them,Mark faces and always remember but u can forgive but don't forget.

do ur thing focus on Ur life and 've successful.

Zizicardo:


Yea, you right. He didn't do d needful coz he was d youngest of them, so nobody suspected anything. Thanks for your advice, I'm already miles away from them. I canor coman go and kill myself away. And I have my mom to cater for.
Thanks

u are welcome.

please help ur mum also.

stay with her and always assures her things will be fine.

if she wanna re marry,help her to make the best choice.

ciao.

Zizicardo:
. My dad died on d 30th of march 2014, and since then, his brothers have bn pestering my life. Take heart bro, God be with you and your mom.

I'm just curious 2 know what the emboldened is... Is it 4 sex or what?
It's just an innocent question

oladele00:
The same thing happened to a frnd of mine a long time ago. The family succeeded in sending the mother and his other siblings away. But he (friend) surround himself with all the bad boys of the community including my honourable self. All of us relocated to his father's house and we stayed there for almost a year. We brutalized the brutalizers and the brutalizers ran for there lives. That is the only honourable advice I can give to u my dear brother.. luv u

This looks like a good way 2 solving d problem

IFEANNYI:
I lost my dad on the 14th of August and ever since then my family relations have been trying to frustrate me, my mum and my sister, even to the extent of threatening my life.

How my Dad died.

My Dad had diabetes and fell sick when he travelled to the east, Anambra State. Fortunately he was with my mum when everything started, unfortunately my relations where also present. They debated on the best hospital to take him to, my mum suggested he returned back to Lagos where he had a specialist taking care of him, our family physician also advised the same but due to ignorance, my dads brothers and sisters took him to a maternity hospital, where he died few days later.

The first thing my relations did was to start spreading rumours that my mum, and we the children killed our dad. How? How?
A man we loved so much, although we had our little differences, just like every other family. But we loved him, I've never seen my sister cry so much until the day we lost him.
They took him to a maternity hospital and now turned back to point fingers?
But i'm not interested in accusing anybody.
I just want people to learn from my experience.

My Dad's elder brother has been the only one different in the whole issue.

still wondering how relations have say in a family so strong that it will bother somebody like me.

Things like this happen everyday..
They will start dragging properties soon.
Let me not even talk, I have seen it and heard it. And I have learnt that Family is not all about blood. Just stay safe.

Alariwo2:


Wetin concern Igbo man family with will..
They will accuse his wife and share the properties for themselves alone.
It's like part of their tradition and has been like that for decades.

Civility is not just their way there.. They are ready to kill whoever gets in their way, the kids inclusive

and you know this because your dad is an igbo man or what?

supersystemsng:



I lost my dad, guess what, all of us relocated, changed contacts, no one has our contacts...

Then if you want to go home/ village how do you do it. Cause you met them there

ofemigeorge:

Then if you want to go home/ village how do you do it. Cause you met them there

That's it, i don't go....Everyone knows i took my father's spirit and like wahala..they've tried all what nots...i won't go into details..infact none of my cousins have seen me for over 17years or know how i look... Its a war they can't fight...you need strength and power to fight those kind of people

supersystemsng:


That's it, i don't go....Everyone knows i took my father's spirit and like wahala..they've tried all what nots...i won't go into details..infact none of my cousins have seen me for over 17years or know how i look... Its a war they can't fight...you need strength and power to fight those kind of people

OK op wat abt your wife wen she ask ur root or your kids who want to go home, will you also prevent hem from going.....for how long will you hid.

ofemigeorge:

OK op wat abt your wife wen she ask ur root or your kids who want to go home, will you also prevent hem from going.....for how long will you hid.

You don't understand.I can't reveal the entire strategy in public... But until herod died, Jesus remained in captivity. Family's over-rated. How many will buy you panadol when you have headache? They are simply people many people seeks elf approval from and nothing more

IFEANNYI:
I lost my dad on the 14th of August and ever since then my family relations have been trying to frustrate me, my mum and my sister, even to the extent of threatening my life.

How my Dad died.

My Dad had diabetes and fell sick when he travelled to the east, Anambra State. Fortunately he was with my mum when everything started, unfortunately my relations where also present. They debated on the best hospital to take him to, my mum suggested he returned back to Lagos where he had a specialist taking care of him, our family physician also advised the same but due to ignorance, my dads brothers and sisters took him to a maternity hospital, where he died few days later.

The first thing my relations did was to start spreading rumours that my mum, and we the children killed our dad. How? How?
A man we loved so much, although we had our little differences, just like every other family. But we loved him, I've never seen my sister cry so much until the day we lost him.
They took him to a maternity hospital and now turned back to point fingers?
But i'm not interested in accusing anybody.
I just want people to learn from my experience.

My Dad's elder brother has been the only one different in the whole issue.

Sorry for your loss.

Which part of Anambra please?

Maternity is the commonest hospital in villages..
Take heart..

Op,
The most important thing is taking your mom and siblings out of that environment and don't wait till tomorrow. If you really must join in the burial, make sure you and your family have your own security or you can send them money for the burial from where you are based.

suwalee:
baby God's got u......no peace for the wicked Ur.......Baba yungjohn if this is u I'm loyal#suwa

That ain't my Monika swthrt

Every family needs a doctor/nurse, a lawyer and someone in the armed forces. It's very important to have at least 2 persons from these professions in ur immediate family to avoid issues like this. They won't even dare talk crap if one of u was a soldier.