Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,992,761 members, 7,290,585 topics. Date: Saturday, 04 February 2023 at 07:18 PM

I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? - Romance (10) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? (31061 Views)

Do We Really Have Guys Like This Nowadays? / "I Can't Settle For Less. If You Don't Have Money Back Off" - Nigerian Woman / Ladies, When You Are Ready To Settle Down, Don't Settle For These Men (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 7:05am On Sep 08, 2017
chronique:


I heard he finally moved to Italy last year or so. Funny thing is that, he had to lie to a girl he met through another of our friend, that he was traveling to Yankee. He didn't even tell this dude he was traveling even though they were planning to do some business together. It was the chic that eventually told him that his friend had travelled. I ran into this old friend early this year and he was lamenting about how the guy behaved before he left... Truth is, I stopped having a best friend after he misbehaved and I have made it clear to everyone I met after him, that I do not have a best friend and of course, owe no one any form of unnecessary loyalty. I can do away with them any time I feel like they're messing up. I do most of my things alone and I'm happy with it.

I also quit friendship due to similar reasons, may God help us

1 Like

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by tosyne2much(m): 7:23am On Sep 08, 2017
Nedfed:
Problems with gals/ladies of nowadays.
OP I pray your case is not like dat of my female friend (Bimbo).
@26, she got an appointment with FIRS
Ever since no man worth her taste, she sees every young man that approach her has poor.
This how she live till she clock 34 with no man to settle with.
To cut the story short, she later got married to one Alhaji@ibadan with 3 wives as a result of no choice. Now the Alhaji has stopped her from working and make her a full house wife.

Just a lesson for the OP, no one is born to be poor. An average man today can still be the next billionaire 2moro.
This one weak me ooo cheesy

3 Likes

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by pocohantas(f): 7:41am On Sep 08, 2017
Sketch007:


Wow!. You've just dished it nicely and accurately! You've got a fan down here grin

Down where?

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by tosyne2much(m): 7:41am On Sep 08, 2017
I just hope the OP will not miss it in the area of marriage

So, you base your sole criteria for companionship on financial capabilities and nothing more ? Also, you said you don't want to go below the standard of how you were brought up? You mean the fried rice and chicken? Regular shopping? Living in an air conditioned furnished apartment?

My sister, life does not really go the way we think, and I just hope it won't be too late before you understand this. Sometimes in life, we have to slightly bend our taste and standard before we can get what we want


My dear, standard is not enough to make someone your husband. Marriage is not all about getting married to someone that meets your standard, and I challenge you to go and ask married people if they ended up marrying according to their standard. Don't choose a life partner out of temporary situation

So forget about the fried rice your parents provide for you every morning. cheesy

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Sketch007(m): 7:50am On Sep 08, 2017
pocohantas:


Down where?

Lol.. here jor grin. Reading your post settles well with me.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by SgtKisswhere: 8:13am On Sep 08, 2017
[quote author=pocohantas post=6020114

The only man that would treat you right is that man who loves and respects you. Direct your association to your target kind of men. If you are bringing something to the table, you are deserving of a partner who does same. Let no one guilt trip you!!!

Our young men are getting 'smarter' too. Financial compatibility is important. [/color][/quote]

you earned my respect for that post, totally unbiased nd true
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by peddyholly: 9:00am On Sep 08, 2017
missloluwa:
Wow guys, I can't believe I made front page with my first thread shocked i'm overwhelmed by the responses. There was a lot of good advice and a lot of pained advice and a lot of advice that may work for others but not for me. Thanks to all that commented, I hope you find your own true partner one day. With that in mind i'd like to clarify some things:
1. I don't look down on less advantaged people, i've dated some and their mindset didn't work for me. (Insecure and low ambition, the ones I dated sha)
2. I mentioned I want someone on my level, not a rich or ready made guy, however someone with potential from a good home would do well too
3. I live in a good estate on the Island (off Chevron drive) and my family are firmly middle class, there is a certain level of spouse they are expecting from me. Did you castigate Zahra Buhari for looking for and marrying a rich guy?
4. I was born abroad(US) and have the relevant papers, I am not looking for a meal ticket or a way out of Nigeria, I can leave any time
5. I earn above 350k a month and even if I lost this job, my level wouldn't change. However, I am determined not to rely on my family's wealth.
6. I assumed people would understand that money/family background is secondary to more important things like character, personality and interests(ain't marrying no Man U supporter) but if this wasn't obvious, that's my bad
7. I am 25, I just like saying mid 20's, i like the way it sounds grin
8. I'm not in a rush, i'm just curious about my future, ultimately I know I should trust in God more, he has my back.
9. Is it not on this same nairaland that people were saying a person earning less than X Naira shouldn't get married, that applies here too
10. It is also here that men are crying that their women who earn more than them have turned into the ogas of the house, i'd rather avoid issues like this please

Hmm that's all I can think of for now, thanks again guys.


Just a word, take your time miss!!
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by braxjay(m): 9:10am On Sep 08, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.



be you! he'll come around
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nedfed(m): 9:13am On Sep 08, 2017
tosyne2much:
This one weak me ooo cheesy

Bro not only you
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Prettiepearlz(f): 10:52am On Sep 08, 2017
missloluwa:
Wow guys, I can't believe I made front page with my first thread shocked i'm overwhelmed by the responses. There was a lot of good advice and a lot of pained advice and a lot of advice that may work for others but not for me. Thanks to all that commented, I hope you find your own true partner one day. With that in mind i'd like to clarify some things:
1. I don't look down on less advantaged people, i've dated some and their mindset didn't work for me. (Insecure and low ambition, the ones I dated sha)
2. I mentioned I want someone on my level, not a rich or ready made guy, however someone with potential from a good home would do well too
3. I live in a good estate on the Island (off Chevron drive) and my family are firmly middle class, there is a certain level of spouse they are expecting from me. Did you castigate Zahra Buhari for looking for and marrying a rich guy?
4. I was born abroad(US) and have the relevant papers, I am not looking for a meal ticket or a way out of Nigeria, I can leave any time
5. I earn above 350k a month and even if I lost this job, my level wouldn't change. However, I am determined not to rely on my family's wealth.
6. I assumed people would understand that money/family background is secondary to more important things like character, personality and interests(ain't marrying no Man U supporter) but if this wasn't obvious, that's my bad
7. I am 25, I just like saying mid 20's, i like the way it sounds grin
8. I'm not in a rush, i'm just curious about my future, ultimately I know I should trust in God more, he has my back.
9. Is it not on this same nairaland that people were saying a person earning less than X Naira shouldn't get married, that applies here too
10. It is also here that men are crying that their women who earn more than them have turned into the ogas of the house, i'd rather avoid issues like this please

Hmm that's all I can think of for now, thanks again guys.


Don't mind these nairaland guys oooo, they don't always think twice before they attack ladies here, they're used to that patriarchal system. Please never ever settle for less. You said it yourself, it's not like you are bent on going with a wealthy guy but you want someone who is comfortable and also has a future. Everyone wants something good for themselves. Any guy that this looks painful to him should work hard. There is nothing wrong with you wanting a guy with good future and prospect even if he isn't dangote rich now. Nobody wants a liability abeg. There are guys who would love and respect you even when they have the financial capabilities. After all there are poor men who still treats their wives like shit. Babe nothing do you jare.

1 Like

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 10:54am On Sep 08, 2017
hmmm
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Acidosis(m): 3:21pm On Sep 08, 2017
No, you don't have to settle for less. Marry a man you share similar economic traits with to avoid spousal and family frictions.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by 400billionman: 9:23am On Sep 09, 2017
missloluwa:


I'm in my mid 20's.



Hmmm, technically I found the respect with them. Love and fulfilment are so abstract, it's hard to determine how much is really enough. I like this answer though, thanks smiley

Since you have a job, haven't you met a guy who also has a job to date him ?

The question will now be who earns better. Me I no too believe in that potential of a thing. Potential lies in the job you already have, a skill that is already earning money, a growing business, a landed property and something tangible you have achieved.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by 400billionman: 9:42am On Sep 09, 2017
Nedfed:
Problems with gals/ladies of nowadays.
OP I pray your case is not like dat of my female friend (Bimbo).
@26, she got an appointment with FIRS
Ever since no man worth her taste, she sees every young man that approach her has poor.
This how she live till she clock 34 with no man to settle with.
To cut the story short, she later got married to one Alhaji@ibadan with 3 wives as a result of no choice. Now the Alhaji has stopped her from working and make her a full house wife.

Just a lesson for the OP, no one is born to be poor. An average man today can still be the next billionaire 2moro.

2 Likes

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by GentleNaaz(m): 3:37am On Sep 10, 2017
it's not bad to have standards, but it shouldn't be absolute.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by engrelvis(m): 6:53am On Sep 10, 2017
@op.some telling lies here.do people dat v money talks? Is online dat u will get gud advice? I think u want to feel important . People just hide behind their computer n start writing nonsense . How many people here v met u one on one to ascertain who u really r? I join dis forum out of curiosity , thinking it was like those we experience in overseas but v come to realize dat alot of people here(on dis forum) r living fake lives.is only here we r so concern about class.from experience is people dat v nothing to offer or self centered dat talk like dis.where u nt born In USA ,go there n marry.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by tammie24: 5:55pm On Sep 25, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

my brother needs a wife
Civil servant
Not bad looking
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by NManonymous(m): 5:15am On Nov 28, 2017
Ajewealth123:
Your life is in your hands.
But let me enlighten you, all those you mention isn't a criteria.
What matters in a relationship is love, LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE.
p'square/omotayo
Emoney/ his wife
Tuface/ Annie
And so on.go through their story line the guys were extremely poor but they are hardworking guys and today, few of their peers meet up to standard.
My advice is, marry foe love but marry someone who has ambition,vision and is hardworking
people can claim to love you when they see that showing you love (fake) will keep the ship sailing.
when he gets that money his attitude changes.
"Everyman has a level of pride when he sees money in this pocket"

(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)

Six(6) Powerful Ways To Prevent Your Breast From Falling/sagging / Four Things You Cannot Change In Your Guy / See The Curves On A Hausa Lady That Got People Talking(pix)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2023 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 174
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.