Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,992,761 members, 7,290,574 topics. Date: Saturday, 04 February 2023 at 07:10 PM

I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? - Romance (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? (31060 Views)

Do We Really Have Guys Like This Nowadays? / "I Can't Settle For Less. If You Don't Have Money Back Off" - Nigerian Woman / Ladies, When You Are Ready To Settle Down, Don't Settle For These Men (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by SamuelLoch: 12:42pm On Sep 07, 2017
Get someone you can always trust, someone that his current level is better than yours and is still aiming higher just like u... You sound like you're pretty with good characters, that's an edge... Just pray so your eyes won't deceive you nor fail when it ought not to... All the best!
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by chronique(m): 12:45pm On Sep 07, 2017
NairaSand:


I respect your view....We poor people should marry ourselves. And you the rich should marry yourselves.

It makes perfect sense until you started judging everyone of us. If every party in a pool is gonna earn a reputation for what what a small minority/majority do, I wonder what the world will be like.

People like you are one extra reason why broke nigga like us want to "make it" so bad.




Well, I never said I was rich... Besides, I don't think it's about people earning a reputation for what others did as such. These things aren't easy to explain without one sounding somehow but the truth is, a lot of opinions are formed out of experience and other people's stories. It would interest you to know that my best friend at a time for 14 years was from a very poor wretched family but I didn't use that as a basis for being friends with him. My siblings and other friends would ask what I was doing with this riff raff but I always defended him. Would take food from the house to his house... At a point, I was embarrassed by a gf for coming to her birthday party with this dude... Several years later, this dude betrayed our friendship over a girl he met on the internet who promised to take him to yankee. Our friendship ended but he never went to America. The point is that somebody who could betray a 14yrs friendship just cos he was desperate to travel to Yankee, should never have been my friend in the first place. Same thing applies to dating.

2 Likes

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by musicwriter(m): 12:46pm On Sep 07, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.


Why do you need a man anywhere? Why always needing a man still?
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by lightblazingnow(m): 12:55pm On Sep 07, 2017
You are looking for a boyfriend abi....

I see. You are not yet ready for marriage... the same God Almighty who gave you the job you are doing can't he also settle your marriage??

Faithless generations....

Have you thought of where you are going??

I weep for this generations
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by lionshare: 12:59pm On Sep 07, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.


Hello I am curious which set of numbers precisely falls under "mid 20's" ?

My guts tells me you are 27 or 28! Lol middle finger to all my worries...
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by plamonee: 1:02pm On Sep 07, 2017
It is good to set standard so as to maintain current level of happiness elicited from public admiration and approval. But I strongly advise that you prioritize. Set time you want to get married and court a man for that purpose. The man may not necessarily be in your level(above or below). The most important thing is he a Christian? Am assuming you are a serious one though. Take time to find out his aspiration, vision and worldviews. Bring up issues you have formed strong opinions about and find out his views. Also find out about his love life, his personal life history. There is a mindset people in your world have, since I have cash and a good job I can get any man I desire. No you won't! You will get the kind you deserve. Now that being said, I will tell you one last thing . It's not popular but is wise, check out your old friends, the ones you knew that loves you and is unmarried but for one reason or the other you are no longer in communication. You may just find a total package. One thing about old acquaintances is the love is pure. He was not bewitched by any external influence to make him confess love to you, you just grew on him. That one will last. Wish you all the best. Bye!

2 Likes

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by bassette(m): 1:06pm On Sep 07, 2017
upload your pics first after which we can talk
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by kagari: 1:07pm On Sep 07, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.


Babe the more you think about stuffs like this, the more life becomes complex and complicated. Babe just live and let live and you would see things falling in place. There's are so many routes to abuja if you get what I mean undecided
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by monex(m): 1:14pm On Sep 07, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.


you are no gold digger. you are a a realist. And in marriage, realism wins.

it is important to marry someone you would find easy to respect. You are young but you need to start early.

first know exactly what you want
then start actively searching for that. where do they hangout out? what are their interests? what do they typcially desire in their spouses.

A financially stable guy is not descriptive enough to answer the aforementioned questions.

I sense you might be picky even if you didnt say so. So it will be important to start early.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by judility(m): 1:18pm On Sep 07, 2017
when the work force favours more females than male, what do we expect..
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by peddyholly: 1:25pm On Sep 07, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Try and be your natural self devoid of aforementioned standards, never look down on any man, always put your brain first before your heart, mingle and enjoy life to the fullest. What is yours will never elude you. NOTE: POTENTIAL HUSBANDS AIN'T ALWAYS ATTRACTIVE

1 Like

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Lambkings(m): 1:27pm On Sep 07, 2017
beautiful232:
dear guys,May you never marry a woman that need marriage more than she needs you.

that's all I can say..




hmmm, because, she will do? whot
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by JhyMedex: 1:32pm On Sep 07, 2017
sunshineR:
wink grin
Boss explain ur signature..grin..

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by JhyMedex: 1:32pm On Sep 07, 2017
sunshineR:
wink grin
Boss explain ur signature..grin..
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Sketch007(m): 1:32pm On Sep 07, 2017
pocohantas:


That said, everything is done with moderation. There is no guaranty a struggling guy will treat you right. There is also no guarantee a rich man will treat you right.

The only man that would treat you right is that man who loves and respects you. Direct your association to your target kind of men. If you are bringing something to the table, you are deserving of a partner who does same. Let no one guilt trip you!!!

Our young men are getting 'smarter' too. Financial compatibility is important.


Wow!. You've just dished it nicely and accurately! You've got a fan down here grin
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Seamareggae(m): 1:46pm On Sep 07, 2017
sunshineR:
Well it all depends on you but no one would or rather should (cos some will) criticise you for wanting someone who's above ur paycheck

most independent ladies who end up with struggling men usually have broken homes and respect-barren homes..................(not that i'm saying u're one though)

its same with me though..........i wouldnt settle for any girl who's below average cos wetin all these gold-digging hoes don take my eyes see no be here
Lol.... Dis one na baba nla toasting.. ..

meanwhile for ur question in parenthesis

you just may have found one in me..........now lets get to see ur pics wink grin
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 1:54pm On Sep 07, 2017
JhyMedex:

Boss explain ur signature..grin..

lol
boss it simple na cheesy
never follow a lady to the market or to go shopping cos na there you go spend the whole day cheesy cheesy
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 1:56pm On Sep 07, 2017
Seamareggae:
lol


what to do na cheesy cheesy
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by ofuonyebi: 2:12pm On Sep 07, 2017
Ii you are NOT ready to bow for any man who will drink garri with you before he 'blows'

then, why are you wasting your time?...just go and look for Dangote or Otedola

there address is everywhere...!

1 Like

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by gp6liveth(m): 2:12pm On Sep 07, 2017
This lady is truly passing through what am passing through.

Your Marital aspirations are just same with mine. But for me I don't want to settle for less. I know my value so I should find someone with values also.

Anyways, I wish u the best of the search race.

1 Like

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by seivey(m): 2:13pm On Sep 07, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.


I don't think you are asking for too much but if you want these conditions to be fulfilled very fast, you might start thinking about becoming a second wife.
Young guys don't make it big easily here again.
Best regards.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by JhyMedex: 2:15pm On Sep 07, 2017
sunshineR:


lol
boss it simple na cheesy
never follow a lady to the market or to go shopping cos na there you go spend the whole day cheesy cheesy
kikikiki... Preach!!..
I bn experience d same torture last week Saturday..grin..
I jst dey boil insyd ..bt still dey form smile.. grin..
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 2:24pm On Sep 07, 2017
Struggler? Na wa o.

Every rich dude has a story to tell.The were once a struggler in your words.

It is all about the spirit/drive.

And also,love is like a butterfly.It sucks its nectar at where it find comfortable.

Just live your normal life and the right guy who will treat you as a queen will come your way.

As you know,man propose,God dispose.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 2:25pm On Sep 07, 2017
JhyMedex:

kikikiki... Preach!!..
I bn experience d same torture last week Saturday..grin..
I jst dey boil insyd ..bt still dey form smile.. grin..

lmao
my guy i can imagine o cheesy cheesy

the thing dey pain..............i begged my neigbor and friend to go help me buy some foodstuffs she say only if i follow am

we reach market dat kain 10 comot there around 1 something
i weak no be small
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by free2ryhme: 2:39pm On Sep 07, 2017
pocohantas:
You are not a gold-digger or any of those plenty adjectives.

Settle for where you find love, respect and fulfilment.

The probability you would find all of the above in a social status way below yours is low. I have come to notice our daily cycle, religious, social and professional association ...plays a huge influence on who we meet.

The emotional blackmailers and masters in scare tactics are here. They'll tell you of that aunty who has gotten to menopause for having a standard. They won't tell you of the ones who ended up emotionally shattered for not having a standard. There is no one formula for getting this right.

We all have things that helps our association with the opposite sex, be it financial, educational, religious, cultural...even sexual. There must be one 'vain' thing that keeps you glued to a partner, no matter how non-superficial you try to portray yourself. It only becomes a set-back if you pay no attention to other qualities.

That said, everything is done with moderation. There is no guaranty a struggling guy will treat you right. There is also no guarantee a rich man will treat you right.

The only man that would treat you right is that man who loves and respects you. Direct your association to your target kind of men. If you are bringing something to the table, you are deserving of a partner who does same. Let no one guilt trip you!!!

Our young men are getting 'smarter' too. Financial compatibility is important.

Make una respect this lady for this comment only few ladies like her still remain.

These words touched my spirit, madam.

She is wife material
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Kennedy767(m): 2:47pm On Sep 07, 2017
sunshineR:
Well it all depends on you but no one would or rather should (cos some will) criticise you for wanting someone who's above ur paycheck

most independent ladies who end up with struggling men usually have broken homes and respect-barren homes..................(not that i'm saying u're one though)

its same with me though..........i wouldnt settle for any girl who's below average cos wetin all these gold-digging hoes don take my eyes see no be here


meanwhile for ur question in parenthesis

you just may have found one in me..........now lets get to see ur pics wink grin
will pictures put food on the table?...y
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 2:50pm On Sep 07, 2017
Kennedy767:
will pictures put food on the table?...y

lol

i need to know who i'm dealing with and how she looks na grin
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 2:56pm On Sep 07, 2017
hedonistic:


Words on marble. Guys, take note of this... And read the deep meaning between the lines.

Meanwhile, like I mentioned elsewhere, people need to stop making long-term decisions on the basis of short-term considerations. So-called good jobs and so-called money are things that can disappear at any point. And then you're stuck with a partner you barely love or understand, with a couple of kids and battered bodies as baggage. What do you do, then? Live the rest of your life in misery and discontent, ruing a paradise lost?

You can't assume that someone who has a good job or a thriving business today will have that in 5 or 10 years time. We all know people who were large yesterday and are nothing today, and vice versa. It's called life, and it has very many vicissitudes.
God bless you. I got my first job with a 200k salary minus field allowances at about 25+. Chics were all over me but I was lucky to get serious with the girl that didn't have a job. I was responsible for her, helped her in preparing for the job market i.e CV and interviews. I cared less as I only wanted to make her a better person. Some time later, my job gone,splendour disappeared. She amazed me, she stuck. Tho, the arguments and fights were there but I could just tell something different. I have advised times without number that finance is only a status that can change either ways in which relationship. Only a few people are lucky not to have their share of turn downs. I don't mean going poor but sometime not been able to afford something at sometime like it used to be.
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Kennedy767(m): 3:06pm On Sep 07, 2017
missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

my dear am a guy...I tink ur post is second best to none...some guys are too lazy now a days...they put all there lazy excuse on hard economy of yesterday looking for ladies that will feed them....my neighbor claimed to be auchi poly ND graduate can't pay house rent of 2500 ...he was holding rent up to 5months till he parked at midnight last year...he was my closed friend... accepted, the economic is hard but I graduated 2015 wen the recession was on his zenith,though with Bsc degree unlike him that is ND..we are same age group,though am 30 last year..but I know that guy should be BTW 31 to 34yrs,.immediately i graduated I stated teaching, I advice him to join the teaching too,but all he want is MC work,I told him that MC work is not occupation. I even spoke to my director in his absence yet he could not come wit his certificate..even in this same recession I av completed my NYSC service and still bought MASTER degree form now to resume early next year by God grace...what are mine even saying?... I will give u credit for even agreed to come below ur standard...
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:15pm On Sep 07, 2017
chronique:



Follow your heart. Nobody should kill you for wanting certain standards and if you have to drop below your current standard, make sure it has to be with someone who has genuine and sincere intentions towards you. That way, you wouldn't be losing too much. I personally, have vowed never to date anybody from a poor background no matter how pretty or sincere the person might appear to be. And the reason is this: from my assessment, most people from such backgrounds are hardly totally honest with you cos there's sometimes, this innate desire to get out of that phase of life and it puts pressure on them to do things they really shouldn't be doing. Sometimes, it's as a result of peer pressure. People who come from average of rich backgrounds hardly ever feel the urge to impress a lot of people even if they fall and the simple reason is cos, they have been there before. It's usually not a very easy decision but I still believe people should not marry out of their social status. Average/semi-rich should marry themselves. Semi-rich/very rich should marry themselves. The poor and extremely poor should marry themselves cos it's easier for them to understand themselves since they are from similar backgrounds. The poor often don't think about too much other than let's eat today, make babies and just live life as it comes. Over the holidays, I saw people living in single rooms/room and parlour, tying big ram and cattle in front of their houses just to celebrate sallah and I got peeved. That kind of mentality would hamper a partner who's from the background where they are always thinking of investment and how to turn the next kobo to a few nairas. So, there would always be a clash of ideology. But to everything, there's always an exception but your chances of meeting that exception, might be very slim.
you don't want want marry a poor person for your selfish reasons. In Nigeria, integrity can't be attributed to one social class. Are your politicians not rich? Do you know how many babes that are from wealthy homes I have lashed and that time they all claimed to be in serious relationships. The most sincere babe I have dated can't be regarded as even average. Tho,
had siblings but they were not even responsible for her. My point is understand your partner and forget social class! Folorunsho Alakija was a tailor without a university degree... you must have said this same thing if you say her tie a ram years back. Today, who is she?? See there is fate and destiny but ambition, zeal, opportunity and foresight is very important. These are things one should look out for.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:17pm On Sep 07, 2017
Sylver247:



Love is not enough. It can start a relationship but can't sustain it alone.
You must combine it with communication, care and yes money. Money is important.
Money is very important.. how much are we talking here. Contentment is GAIN

(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)

Six(6) Powerful Ways To Prevent Your Breast From Falling/sagging / Four Things You Cannot Change In Your Guy / See The Curves On A Hausa Lady That Got People Talking(pix)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2023 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 296
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.