vanhelsing1:

ma dear.two things r involved here...its either he is a very stingy type or he is checking to see if u would remain with him evn if der is no money involved.dis r jus d two possibilities.
lemme giv u a short story.a lady sometime ago complains d sem tin dat her fiance does not care bat her financially,though sje had something doing.wen she finally married dis guy,he showered her wt love by buying her so many gifts.he was evn using a camry while he bought her a jeep.so u understand now...on the other coin,he could b a very stingy one.u should have known if he is naturally kind by now.evaluate ur circumstance carefully n make ur decision...Tanks

u don't compare unrelated stories... the guy should be the one to call... if what op said was right... although some gals if u spend millions on them they will still leave u for a brat.. but the op may not complain if she is working... she wrote... he doesn't care!

Ifakiland:
You need money but u didn't ask, ure forming independent lady and my guy sef bone face mind his business...one thing about giving girls money on your own as a gUy is that they never truly appreciate it cos at the tune of any misunderstanding she will be like "I kuku didn't beg u for the money, u gave me on ur own"....girl I put it to u that ur proud and cunny and u really don't love ur bf cos u don't want him "holding" u or u "owing" him incase of a breakup.

#IConcur with this.

captain247:


Tell me which part of the world that guys doesn't take care of their women? The fact that the dotch system (50/50) is applied in the white men's land doesn't mean they don't care at all for their women Nigeria guys are just looking for excuses. If you cannot take care of a woman then why involving in a relationship?

free yourself from that kind of thought unless you will end up following the wrong man..all that glitters aint gold..

It's simple. Guys are not the same. I'm sure he's wondering why you're not asking too. You love him and you know he loves you too.. don't break up. Start asking him the basic needs and don't let that other girl that's asking keep winning okay. Be good

You all shouldn't blame the guy for being stingy. You don't know his experiences with ladies.
I once dated one broke chic and loved her like mad. All she needed to ask and I transfer money to her. If her data finishes, I sub for her without asking. One day we had a messy quarrel and this chic opened her mouth to say what have I done for her sef? That I have not done anything compared to what others are doing. That was the day my eyes opened. We broke up and I moved on with another girl. I have been drilling this one now by not spending again like I did this time and if she continues being the good girl I have seen,I will open the flood gates of heaven by December and propose to her next year cause she have been able to still love me sincerely without my spending much on her.
What of the other babe? This August she called me up begging me in the name of God and friendship to borrow her 3k to pay the upper week. I collected that money back but it was the first week of October that she could pay 3k back.

So make una leave that guy man alone. You don't know his story

AmazingM:
Good evening my dear nairalanders. Please I need your honest opinion on this issue because I am very confused now that I don't know what to do.

I have been dating a guy for about three years now. Every thing has been going well. He claims he loves me but he doesn't spend on me. He knows I am still job hunting that I don't have any means of income of my own but he doesn't care at all. How I feed, cloth, recharge my phone, he doesn't know. He doesn't even ask how I cope with all my basic needs as a woman. He doesn't recharge my phone and when I manage to recharge with the little money I have and call him, he won't even reject or ignore the call and call me back knowing well that I don't work. He will make sure he exhausts the little airtime.

It is not as I he doesn't have the money, he has it. In fact he is very comfortable but he doesn't spend on me. I am a type of lady that doesn't know how to ask for money but I expect him to know that since I am not working yet, he should assist me with some of my needs but if I don't ask, he will do nothing.

I am thinking of leaving him because of this attitude I feel he is taking advantage of my nature. Please help me out. I want to know your take on this issue before I take action.

Thank you.

Marsnizz: 8:14am
Pls another thing is to put him on test like three time. the steps to follow are:
(1) Ask him to lend you some money like #5000 promising to pay back in one week time .watch his reaction. if he gives you the money without complain and conditions,collect and keep it making sure that at the elapse of the week promised to pay back,the money is return to him .Give him back and tell him thank you .Watch his reaction. If he refuse to collect it then persuade him to collect,telling him something like " I borrowed this money from you to pay back because I wasn't in position at that time so have it .I don't want to be a burden of responsibility " watch his actions carefully. If he insisted on you having the money freely with smile on his face without a frown then collect it and say thank you very much at most two time. Dancing accurately to this show signs of freewill
(2) secondly ask him to advice you that a friend is disturbing you to borrow her #15000,you have the money with you already but you are scared of letting it out but she was desperately in need. listen to his response. if he outrightly, stop you from assisting your friend that need help then put it in mind that he might not help your friends and family so easily.
(3) finally .Tell him you are confused,seeking an advice from him .That your small brother or sister is dragging with you,for the pomade that you used your money in buying,you don't like it and can't change the cream for another one to stop her because she also like it more than you. Be quiet and listen to his advice. If he advise you to leave the cream for her/him and buy same for yourself and stop dragging for one and in case, you can buy next, buy two of it .One for yourself and one for them .But if he advise you to stop anyone from using your belonging,your brother or sister as of that matter . know that this guy must be stingy and cannot easily sacrifice something for another person. Therefore, you should be logical about number 3 because it may sound to him as your family is too poor to the extend of sharing common cream .I mean if he don't know your family too well . make sure, you give a gap of weeks or month in between this three trials and you will come back to tell me thank you

Stinginess is a big turn off. He is spending his money on somebody else. Do not hesistate to leave him.

Divay22:
Just be contented with what you have,live as if he doesn't exist...
I pray you get a job soon...

You nailed it. Just be contented...

AmazingM:
At least you spend something. He doesn't even spend on me at all.

Are you saying that in the past three years, he has never gifted you N10,000 or N20,000 even if in bits, in form of GIFT or CASH ?

LifeofAirforce:
I don't spend much on bae and she love me

You don't spend much,meaning at least you do spend a little on her.

They wont

pocohantas:


Well said. I am of the opinion that love gives, even if it's biro. In a scenario where the partner isn't overly demanding, once in a while...you should give something.

Gbam..

John 3:16.

For God so LOVED the world, that he GAVE......

Anybody who doesn't give willingly is still a learner. Giving of TIME, KNOWLEDGE, HELP, lastly MONEY.

But some people too selfish to understand.

Pheals:
u don't compare unrelated stories... the guy should be the one to call... if what op said was right... although some gals if u spend millions on them they will still leave u for a brat.. but the op may not complain if she is working... she wrote... he doesn't care!

ma friend ...plss dont compound issues here..i have alredy givin d OP posibilities dat could mek his fiance act like dat.
either he is very stingy or something else.

Cutiekatty:


You don't spend much,meaning at least you do spend a little on her.

Yep I do

Blackhawk01:


You do it once in a blue moon, he has never done it. Do you guys intentionally turn blind eyes to some part of a story?

And if I may ask, you've been dating your girl for how long?

3 years nd for d blue moon,i mean simple subscription,besides ur tone is harsh,i gave an example with myself nd didn't force u to believe or continue,u re d person who is wearing d shoe,so u knw if u continue or not.thanks

AmazingM:
Good evening my dear nairalanders. Please I need your honest opinion on this issue because I am very confused now that I don't know what to do.

I have been dating a guy for about three years now. Every thing has been going well. He claims he loves me but he doesn't spend on me. He knows I am still job hunting that I don't have any means of income of my own but he doesn't care at all. How I feed, cloth, recharge my phone, he doesn't know. He doesn't even ask how I cope with all my basic needs as a woman. He doesn't recharge my phone and when I manage to recharge with the little money I have and call him, he won't even reject or ignore the call and call me back knowing well that I don't work. He will make sure he exhausts the little airtime.

It is not as I he doesn't have the money, he has it. In fact he is very comfortable but he doesn't spend on me. I am a type of lady that doesn't know how to ask for money but I expect him to know that since I am not working yet, he should assist me with some of my needs but if I don't ask, he will do nothing.

I am thinking of leaving him because of this attitude I feel he is taking advantage of my nature. Please help me out. I want to know your take on this issue before I take action.

Thank you.

I don't want to sound harsh but let me be very blunt with you. Truth is bitter but it is far better & beneficial than lies. Your sense of entitlement is very disturbing. Is being in a relationship a job that you feel you are entitled to financial compensation? What service are you rendering or what commodity are you selling that you feel it is your right to get money from that man? What law demands that he provides for your basic needs? He isn't your parent or guardian & you aren't his wife yet. Please drop that attitude. Look at the the things you say you need money for;recharge card & other frivolities. You are young, educated, healthy & agile. Yes, the current economic situation is terrible but look for something to do no matter how small instead of expecting a man to shoulder your welfare. Don't get me wrong. It is good to spend on someone you are in relationship with & IMO if 1 who claims to love someone is stingy to them, that love is questionable but to feel offended because a man doesn't give you money & consider ending things because of that portrays you as greedy, materialistic & lazy. Any money he gives you is a favour not a right. Therefore, the attitude you should have is if he gives you, good; if he doesn't give you, good. Go & learn something no matter how small (fixing nails, making hair, makeup, selling recharge card, frying puff puff, making zobo etc) that can give you little change as you are searching for work. Who knows if he can even help you with money to learn or provide capital after you have learnt to start your own business? Once again, sorry if I sounded harsh but the way I would tell my own good friend is how I've told you. God bless you.

Teasting a lady for three years?A man that can't spend a Daim on you while on courtship for three years,will certainly not spend on you after marriage. On ur own.

Grasping hungry kerosene users are a a big turn off.
Must he spend on you? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE SELLING??
Why can't YOU spend on him?
Why not develop yourself .
Do you imagine Ngozi Okonjo Iweala is waiting for her husband to spend on her
The mind set is totally off. A man is not there to take financial responsibility for you. All that talk of gifts is just an alibi.get gifts for yourself. I finished with Nigerian women years ago. They are almost always a liability and they cannot even do properly.
They like food too much and are always overweight

kizyalex10:
3 years nd for d blue moon,i mean simple subscription,besides ur tone is harsh,i gave an example with myself nd didn't force u to believe or continue,u re d person who is wearing d shoe,so u knw if u continue or not.thanks

My tone wasn't harsh, you read too much meaning to it. I only asked simple questions. Half is better than none. It isn't even the cash involved that matters but the fact that you care enough to give her anything at all.

When a man loves, true love oooo, he wants to protect and provide for his own no matter how little. It's just the way you guys are.

Blackhawk01:


My tone wasn't harsh, you read too much meaning to it. I only asked simple questions. Half is better than none. It isn't even the cash involved that matters but the fact that you care enough to give her anything at all.

When a man loves, true love oooo, he wants to protect and provide for his own no matter how little. It's just the way you guys are.

alright d give I do most times Is hardly cash,like subscribtion,if I ask her while she is nt chatting maybe she will say her sub,expired,not that she can't do it but I will do it bfor she does.well she is from a comfortable family.distance haven't slowed us down a bit.my dear,let me nw advice u,every man has its own problem.if u re a regular on this forum,sometime last week,a woman said she divorced her husband who is very nice nd romantic to her nd even provide for her because he has a little manhood.some quit because their husband has so much sexual urge,some quit because of domestic violence,some quit because of cheating.but some people still live with these set of people,nd their marriage goes on,because they understand that no man is perfect including them,they might jump out from frying pan Nd enter fire.would u rather start a new relationship again nd after building it for so long,u still find out another fault from him?nd u want to run?hw long will u continue. Datz it.no marriage is perfect.nt bed of roses,every marriage has a cross,so u carry it.some women re cheats,psycological abusers,naggers.but some men who re man enough endure while some jump ship.nd sometimes they re lucky but must times they meet d worst.

not these young ladies of nowadays whom are widely exposed and has nothing

My dear sister if u still love him just be patience maybe he will change just keep on pray for him or pray to God to give you a man that really deserve you i wish you well

Adaumunocha:
Have u discussed it with him? Some guys don't know their responsibility until told o. The bible said ask and it shall b given. You don't even need to ask directly.

Haa! Responsibility? Is that what you think? It's your boyfriend's responsibility to take care of you? Can't you take care of yourself? Isn't it your responsibility as an adult to take care of yourself? It should get to a point in 1's life where asking for handouts becomes embarrassing.

vivalavida:
You all shouldn't blame the guy for being stingy. You don't know his experiences with ladies.
I once dated one broke chic and loved her like mad. All she needed to ask and I transfer money to her. If her data finishes, I sub for her without asking. One day we had a messy quarrel and this chic opened her mouth to say what have I done for her sef? That I have not done anything compared to what others are doing. That was the day my eyes opened. We broke up and I moved on with another girl. I have been drilling this one now by not spending again like I did this time and if she continues being the good girl I have seen,I will open the flood gates of heaven by December and propose to her next year cause she have been able to still love me sincerely without my spending much on her.
What of the other babe? This August she called me up begging me in the name of God and friendship to borrow her 3k to pay the upper week. I collected that money back but it was the first week of October that she could pay 3k back.

So make una leave that guy man alone. You don't know his story

My guy u said d truth...some people just type thrash because they have not experienced shit from some babes...I once had a lovely babe I wanted to marry. Whenever I visit her, I buy things for and also for all her siblings plus mama and papa. I even opened bank acct for her and do make transfers to her. But today where is she? 6yrs friendship/relationship gone and she feels I did nothing, sometimes purposely ignoring me for 2months wit no reason . And now d @op is here saying her guy is stingy.......I have vowed that d next babe I will date, I won't spend on her except to buy only airtime for her. I will spend after I have married her...........Many babes value their "true love" only after they have successfully lost their "true love" to another babe that value him

[quote author=Esepayan post=61368287]

Look Here MR man it is not about been lazy here ok, some men are born like that before you date a guy if he is not treating you right or treating you like a piece of thrash you leave that relationship, caring matters a lot in a relationship cz, it spice it up, and please am not a dumb ass you are the dumb ass here, I guess you dnt treat your woman right that is why you are quoting me smh.

[quote author=Esepayan post= Look Here MR man it is not about been lazy here ok, some men are born like that before you date a guy if he is not treating you right or treating you like a piece of thrash you leave that relationship, caring matters a lot in a relationship cz, it spice it up, and please am not a lazy ass you are the lazy ass here, I guess you dnt treat your woman right that is why you are quoting me smh. [/quote]

Esepayan:


You are pretty but a bit dumb try and work for ur needs u don't need
a man to provide
For your lazy
ass

Look Here MR man it is not about been lazy here ok, some men are born like that before you date a guy if he is not treating you right or treating you like a piece of thrash you leave that relationship, caring matters a lot in a relationship cz, it spice it up, and please am not a lazy ass you are the lazy ass here, I guess you dnt treat your woman right that is why you are quoting me smh. [/quote]
(Modify) (Quote) (Report) (Share)

tosyne2much:
Don't let anybody fool you or justify stinginess by telling you that you shouldn't be bothered whether he spends a kobo on you or not since he's not married to you.

I mean, how then do you express love when the person that claims to love you is not sensitive to your needs? What kind of a man will watch his lady go stranded when he's financially buoyant to bail her out but will keep claiming that money does not equate love?

Even as a guy, I can't keep friends with a guy who is capable of helping me in times of need but acts like it's none of his business

I will advise you to thread carefully cos love is not expressed with stinginess.. The worst that can ever happen to a lady is to marry a stingy man.

Marry such a man at your own peril

Word!

Caring means giving money
If a Nigerian woman says a man is "CARING"

it has only one meaning

So please tell me
How do we know a woman is "caring"
Hungry nonentities everywhere

Ifakiland:

Go and work and stop ur sob stories...learn makeup or cake making, cos if u fink doing runs is easy....ask that she fool dat called her dad an idiot.

You need help. Your bitterness is choking me

Joy1706:
You need help. Your bitterness is choking me

I hope u choke out then, one less broke ass gal to worry about

Gentlevin:
My guy u said d truth...some people just type thrash because they have not experienced shit from some babes...I once had a lovely babe I wanted to marry. Whenever I visit her, I buy things for and also for all her siblings plus mama and papa. I even opened bank acct for her and do make transfers to her. But today where is she? 6yrs friendship/relationship gone and she feels I did nothing, sometimes purposely ignoring me for 2months wit no reason . And now d @op is here saying her guy is stingy.......I have vowed that d next babe I will date, I won't spend on her except to buy only airtime for her. I will spend after I have married her...........Many babes value their "true love" only after they have successfully lost their "true love" to another babe that value him

No mind them. It is easy to call someone stingy