Am I Over Reacting? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 10:56pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Alright NL people, this post of mine is gonna suck a lil bit but i had to post it anyways so i can get it off my chest and get a good nites sleep. I've been dating this wonderful girl for 3+ years now.It's been great and we are engaged.Her peeps know me and my people know my intentions towards her (marriage).In the past couple of weeks, i've noticed a great change in her demeanor.She's uneccessarily rude to me, snaps over little issues,replies me with scorn and contempt, intercourse is highly irregular (amongst other things). I've tried to sit her down on several occasions to talk about it but each time i do, she's dodgy, dribbles the whole conversation, deflects every question back to me and nothing is achieved.She's also been recieving calls from strange men recently and each time i ask, it's either she says its one middle aged man down the street who is fooling himself or it's some dude from friendfinder and i wonder, if it's nothing serious, why take the calls in secret. . .why cut the calls the moment you see i'm around.Some of you (especially the NL ladies might call me "insecure" and all that), but this is a girl that practically went into a fit when an ex-gf of mine called to give me condolences when my mom died in 2008.She almost went insane when she realized i was talking to an ex and here she is today (madam chatterbox). I am not rich but i am comfortable.She lacks nothing (except a car  ).If it's about love making, i can proudly say i am above average and i give it to her good.I do my best to be the "ideal man" and i wonder, where did i go wrong?This is a lady i intend getting married to anytime soon.Maybe it's all in my head.I don't know but my gut is telling me otherwise.The girl I've been seeing in the last six weeks is not the same girl I've been dating for more than 3 years.I haven't dated anyone else not to talk of cheating on her since we started so why all this?NB : I expect the usual tirade of "insecure bla bla bla" from some NL peeps (especially the ladies) but any unbiased pointers would be welcome. There, i said.Off my chest. Make i sleep small. Will be back later on. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by Pweety4me(f): 10:57pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Un-engage urself wif her. . .    |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by omega25red(m): 11:03pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Pweety4me:^^ could be an option but seriously you have to have a very candid conversation with her where you willl forget actting like a big man and lay out all your insecurities and concerns. once you do that if she still chats on the phone or give her number out to people she can't talk to in front of you then you might have to make a painful decision. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 11:12pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Pweety4me: She's playing games with me huh? |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by afiamanu(f): 11:14pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Hmm. I would have to agree with Omega!, seems like she knows she has you so she's quit the pretty girl act and has shown her true colours! |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by Nobody: 11:16pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Well you need a commitment with God in prayer about your relationship, if it doesn't work out then God will give you the right one for He knows the best. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by 190: 11:20pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
send me her # lemme talk sense in2 her brainless ungreatful skulls this is why i like pro1 he hates girls fcking their guyz up both of us share the same views abt girls and their f-ups takhart she knows ure irreplaceable she jst wants to catch a little fun out there maybe ur relationship has ran out of flame~ |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 11:21pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
omega25red: I have already done that and she insisted that nothing is going on, that it's all in my head, bla bla bla.Early this evening, i was cooking up something for us to grub in the kitchen and her phone rang. . .she spoke in hushed tones and as i approached the living room, she cut the call.The caller called again and she cut the call meaning she didn't want to hear anything.At that point, i felt deflated.I believe her conscience started pricking her coz she came to the kitchen, gave me that "innocent look" and told me that there was "something" she wanted to tell me when i was done (as if i didn't know already). She went later said it was a guy from friend finder and nothing serious and i'm like, it's of no use telling me coz if i didn't catch you red handed, you wouldn't have told me anyways.This is the third time i catching her in this game of hers and i don't want to think of what else is happening behind my back.As far as i'm concerned, i am done fighting for the life of this relationship.Perhaps i should focus more on my enhancing my life/well being instead of working myself up for an over rated union called marriage.It's so stressful.We neva marry, na im i dey see all dis one, what if we marry nko?She's been sending all kinds of apology texts and all. . .i feel indifferent.I don't play games with her and i feel she's taking me for granted. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by titsqueez(m): 11:21pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
hmmn, i de see danger, danger . . wahala dey but maybe u should stick it out man. .women are just something else as long as u are sure u can sleep with both eyes closed when she is lying next to u, u may just have to live with the rest |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by OBLONG(m): 11:23pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
she's trying to TEST you; BE PATIENT. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by OBLONG(m): 11:25pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
daaarn---- > many women out there looking for a man--- if ur patience wears out----> go shopping for another woman |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by Utali(m): 11:25pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Act like you dont notice nothing, act like you care less and see the way she would confess , I've been there, done that and they don't play those kinda games with me no more! |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by omega25red(m): 11:30pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
OBLONG:which kind life be that when woman wey you wan marry dey test you  Poster - you already have all the evidence you need but i wont tell you to bail because it's ultimately you decision but seriously why remain in a painful situation? She keeps chatting with all these guys who may just be her friends but if she knows that it bothers you she is supposed to compromise and know that you dont hurt the one you love. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by OBLONG(m): 11:32pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
you never know--- her family members may have advised her to TEST her man before marriage--- I say be patient. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by ikmoore2(m): 11:36pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
My friend change ur cloth now u still have time or shop for a spare tyre u never can tell, I SAY THIS COS ALL THE HANDS ARE WRITING ON THE WALL WITH PAINT NOT WITH PENCIL FOR U 2 SEE. Pls, start now preparing for the raining days cos the sky is very cloudy in this relationship of urs. I rest my case. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by tomidayspring: 11:41pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
@ Poster Even though you have spent 3 years with your GF that doesnt mean you have known everything about her God uses courtship to expose people for who they really are, From the way you sound, this girl is killing you softly and it can make one mad and start misbehaving via cheating,double dating etc. I will advise you to submit this relationship to God, ask for his intervention and guidance then you can now seat her down and have a final candid talk in an outdoor location, choose a special place so that she will know that you mean business this time around If things dont change, dear i will advise you to reconsider your commitment to her because you will soon discover worst things that will tear your heart apart. If it comes to parting ways know that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage,so you will have to move on! |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by afori: 11:52pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Guy, its written all over her somebody don dey chop your dodo, maybe u are just too possessive for her |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by Pweety4me(f): 11:52pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
harakiri:Not necessarilly she probably just ain't feeling u like b4 or she may just be getting very confused as 2 if she really wants 2 get married 2 u or not dunno. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 11:55pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Pweety4me: Funny thing is, in between us, age is showing up on her side.I'll be 30 this month. . .she's 26 and counting. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by H2O2: 11:56pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
nigga |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 11:58pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
afori: Na dat one dey scatter my head pass.Na bad thing for man to love woman again?Why e be like say women wan turn all man to heart-breaking-psychos? |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by stewie(m): 11:58pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
Dear poster, From my experience, I know that attitude by description. Take it or leave it, she's most-def seeing someone else (maybe not tired of u though) however, u myt wanna hold on or handle the case's left to you. If u doubt me, test her by saying you're fed up & want out, she myt react slightly, like "why, what have I done?" but eventually, gleefully walk. Believe me, this has nothing 2 do with ur affording her or money. Mere adventure many females, like we males myt wanna plunge into. As a man, you can show your might in 2ways. An outright quit, or try save what is your "nearly marriage" regardless of how far she's gone with ur new 'helper' Best'f luck mate! Stewie G 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 11:59pm On Mar 10, 2010 |
H2O2: Sup holmz? |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by mamagee3(f): 12:01am On Mar 11, 2010 |
Poster, Are you trying to convince everyone that you really have no idea on what to do? |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by Pweety4me(f): 12:02am On Mar 11, 2010 |
harakiri:She might not be ready anymore have u tried having a calm & serious chat wiv her baout it? |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 12:03am On Mar 11, 2010 |
stewie: This is really scary.I already did that today and after a few apology texts, she seems to have adjusted herself already (too quick for comfort).Even in the past several days when i told her that she's the one putting petrol in this relationship, she has this nonchalant attitude. . .like she doesn't give a damn anymore.This is pretty messed up! |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by H2O2: 12:03am On Mar 11, 2010 |
From what I know and have experienced, when girls start throwing hissy fits like that there's usually more where it came from. Something is either bothering her, or she's getting fed up and is slowly withdrawing herself from you. Unless of course like I said she is bothered by something you haven't quite figured out yet and she either expects you to figure it out and make amends about it or whatever it is. Like you said it's been 3 years, so the latter statement I made regarding her withdrawal could also be the case. Sometimes the candle just doesn't burn as intensely as it did before. Talk to her sternly about it and don't make any assumptions just yet. Based on her response(s) you can determine your next course of action. You have every right to be concerned and worried about it; I would be too. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 12:04am On Mar 11, 2010 |
mama-gee: Nope but i need all the advice i can get though. I'm about making a very strong decision and i want to be absolutely sure i did the right thing.I haven't been in this kind of situation before so. . . |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 12:06am On Mar 11, 2010 |
H2O2: I have repeatedly done the bolded part above.Nothing positive. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 12:07am On Mar 11, 2010 |
tomidayspring: I was actually considering the bolded part above. |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by harakiri(m): 12:09am On Mar 11, 2010 |
Pweety4me: Several times in the past few weeks.She always ends up dribbling the entire conversation and saying i'm accusing her falsely of imaginary things.She practically becomes very very defensive once i bring up the issue.She deflects anything i ask her about.She plays the role of the "victim".What's your take on that? |
| Re: Am I Over Reacting? by Pweety4me(f): 12:13am On Mar 11, 2010 |
She is cheating Ooo. . .  I dunno ooo. . .hehe Try again sha. . .never give up on d 1 u love. . .   |
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