Nice way of handling the issue Harakiri. She's suddenly realised all that glitters out there isnt gold and losing a relationship of 3 yrs for a mere fling isnt worth it. Sometimes it takes a lesson to realise the stable, sometimes boring, partner we take for granted may be a God-send to our lives.

Good thing you didnt end it immediately . . . give her a chance and let her do the begging and hard work required to win back your trust. This will put you in the drivers seat of your relationship.

davidylan:

Nice way of handling the issue Harakiri. She's suddenly realised all that glitters out there isnt gold and losing a relationship of 3 yrs for a mere fling isnt worth it. Sometimes it takes a lesson to realise the stable, sometimes boring, partner we take for granted may be a God-send to our lives.

Good thing you didnt end it immediately . . . give her a chance and let her do the begging and hard work required to win back your trust. This will put you in the drivers seat of your relationship.

Thanks man.On a side note, i expected a whip lashing from you concerning the "sissiness" i applied in handling the situation.Relationships are so tiring don't you think?

harakiri:

Thanks man.On a side note, i expected a whip lashing from you concerning the "sissiness" i applied in handling the situation.Relationships are so tiring don't you think?

Go single then!

harakiri:

Thanks man.On a side note, i expected a whip lashing from you concerning the "sissiness" i applied in handling the situation.Relationships are so tiring don't you think?

they are tiring but very rewarding when you are with the right person.

lol no be sissiness you use oh. That was a matured response on your part . . . now that she's willing to beg, try and give her tiny chance. Any error shld be punished with immediate cessation of the relationship. But from now on na you be the captain of this side . . . dont let it slip again.

Ending it would have given her the time to come to her full senses. If you'd done that and given her a week, she'd have fully understood what was at play and come begging with a deeper sense of remorse. However, you've fixed the situation temporarily, the worst you can do right now, is to give her the same level of attention and care that landed you into trouble in the first place and trust me, this time when she decides to go off-board, you won't get the same reaction from her.

My advice for you now is you move into true control mode immediately, it should keep her in check. If you start acting all lovey-dovey, I've forgiven all your iniquities etc etc, believe me whats around the corner will make this particular episode look benign. It is only a child that has been visited by koboko that knows not to repeat the same action again, for the memory of the lash of the koboko shall be the child's guide anytime temptation comes calling.

Play it cool and keep her in check with the ways of true control, forget the 50-50 thing it doesn't work. Any woman with a 3 year relationship will think well before jumping out the door, you just called her bluff on the first time around something major has happened, just make sure you don't give her room to repeat such actions. Acting disrespectful towards you is not allowed for any reason, as soon as a woman starts to disrespect you, the issue of love goes out the door. Love is a transient state, focus less on the words that come out of her mouth and the tears from her eyes, observe her actions, do less for love, let her do more.

Regardless of the situation, the way of true control will keep any woman whose mind is straying towards the dark side in check. Remember this and neglect it at your own peril, go back and read that thread again and digest it. My brother, I have since them all, and if by some margin of error I missed a few women in my time, then it's the 0.1% I haven't seen. Be wise brother, be wise.

@ Harakiri, from your previous post, I have to say that you handled it quite well. Personally, i doubt I would have had the patience for all that; 'would have ended the relationship and moved on.

davidylan:

they are tiring but very rewarding when you are with the right person.

lol no be sissiness you use oh. That was a matured response on your part . . . now that she's willing to beg, try and give her tiny chance. Any error shld be punished with immediate cessation of the relationship. But from now on na you be the captain of this side . . . dont let it slip again.

Thanks man.I'll keep that in mind.

tai2:

Ending it would have given her the time to come to her full senses. If you'd done that and given her a week, she'd have fully understood what was at play and come begging with a deeper sense of remorse. However, you've fixed the situation temporarily, the worst you can do right now, is to give her the same level of attention and care that landed you into trouble in the first place and trust me, this time when she decides to go off-board, you won't get the same reaction from her.

My advice for you now is you move into true control mode immediately, it should keep her in check. If you start acting all lovey-dovey, I've forgiven all your iniquities etc etc, believe me whats around the corner will make this particular episode look benign. It is only a child that has been visited by koboko that knows not to repeat the same action again, for the memory of the lash of the koboko shall be the child's guide anytime temptation comes calling.

Play it cool and keep her in check with the ways of true control, forget the 50-50 thing it doesn't work. Any woman with a 3 year relationship will think well before jumping out the door, you just called her bluff on the first time around something major has happened, just make sure you don't give her room to repeat such actions. Acting disrespectful towards you is not allowed for any reason, as soon as a woman starts to disrespect you, the issue of love goes out the door. Love is a transient state, focus less on the words that come out of her mouth and the tears from her eyes, observe her actions, do less for love, let her do more.

Regardless of the situation, the way of true control will keep any woman whose mind is straying towards the dark side in check. Remember this and neglect it at your own peril, go back and read that thread again and digest it. My brother, I have since them all,  and if by some margin of error I missed a few women in my time, then it's the 0.1% I haven't seen. Be wise brother, be wise.

The avalanche of use information from your thread and on here went a long way helping me through this (although i didn't follow up strictly to the letter ).I'm really grateful and i'll keep going through that thread whenever i feel i'm slipping up.

Thanks man.

ocelot2006:

@ Harakiri, from your previous post, I have to say that you handled it quite well. Personally, i doubt I would have had the patience for all that; 'would have ended the relationship and moved on.

I sometimes keep asking myself if i did the right then.Thanks for reassuring me.

michelin89:

Go single then!

Come sef! Wetin i do you?

harakiri:

Come sef! Wetin i do you?

I am single and that's because unlike you, I can't stand drama, from NOBODY!

michelin89:

I am single and that's because unlike you, I can't stand drama, from NOBODY!

That's understandable but impractical.At some point, you'll need someone in your life even if the person is as controversial as Eminem!

That's maturity!
Is she still calling?

agabaI23:

That's maturity!
Is she still calling?

Oh yeah she has.Her call comes in every one or two hours.Sometimes i pick up, sometimes i don't and when i pick up, i barely say anything.She's been prodding me to talk (as i usually do) but as i see it, if she has something to say, let her say it.I think she's curious to know what's going on in my mind.

harakiri:

That's understandable but impractical.At some point, you'll need someone in your life even if the person is as controversial as Eminem!

Let that be then.

harakiri:

Oh yeah she has.Her call comes in every one or two hours.Sometimes i pick up, sometimes i don't and when i pick up, i barely say anything.She's been prodding me to talk (as i usually do) but as i see it, if she has something to say, let her say it.I think she's curious to know what's going on in my mind.

Good analysis. She surely wanna know your next line of action. That will confirm if  she has succeeded or not.

I think she needs to come clean if she still wants the relationship to go ahead. No point being smart.

Put your feet on the ground as you are doing and the wear the trouser!

michelin89:

Let that be then.

Stop flirting with him. He is not through yet

agabaI23:

Stop flirting with him. He is not through yet

-.- do you deserve a reply? NO!

Now I know why your bitter

agabaI23:

Good analysis. She surely wanna know your next line of action. That will confirm if  she has succeeded or not.

I think she needs to come clean [/b]if she still wants the relationship to go ahead.[b] No point being smart.

Put your feet on the ground as you are doing and the wear the trouser!

It's as if you know what's been going on in my head.The 2 times i had a sit down with her, those were the exact words i used (coming clean).All her stories don't add up and practically make no sense.It's as if she's made up her mind to stick to lies/half truths or jeopardize what she has.Either way, i don't care anymore.In the past, i would have overlooked everything and be back to Mr lovey lovey.Not this time or any other time.Enough is enough.

michelin89:

-.- do you deserve a reply? NO!

Thanks for the reply

Ebonyeyes:

Now I know why your bitter

Not for me I guess. . I am not bitter

harakiri:

It's as if you know what's been going on in my head.The 2 times i had a sit down with her, those were the exact words i used (coming clean).All her stories don't add up and practically make no sense.It's as if she's made up her mind to stick to lies/half truths or jeopardize what she has.Either way, i don't care anymore.In the past, i would have overlooked everything and be back to Mr lovey lovey.Not this time or any other time.Enough is enough.

Good man!

Good. Don't give her too long of a rope. Nonsense.

All i have to say in this matter is MAN UP

Man!

Read through the entire thread/replies. .learnt one or two things. .

Women can be such funny creatures. .

^

^

:d

hmmmmm, its been quite educating here

baccady2:

All i have to say in this matter is MAN UP

You think i'm being soft?

H2O2:

Good.  Don't give her too long of a rope.  Nonsense.

I won't.Thanks a million man.

dude u aint over reacting,
most relationships go tru this phase!!, n more of the time tis the dude that is acting up/doing what ur chic is doing

IN A NUTSHELL, [[GOOD GALS LIKE BAD BOYS!!],
lemme explain, cos u r apparently loyal/don cheat much/play games.n is loyal, ur chic has taken u 4 granted.she sees u as safe/docuile/an option she cud always fall back on when all fails,
i canbet my 2 mnths salary.she is dating/seeing other guys,
u hv made urself too safe/good 4 her.
talk 2 plenty 4 mouth!!,
but my advice is dump the chic, harden ur heart.stop being too good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, @ least try n forget her birthday or sumthing!!!.dont call 4 a wk, etc blah,
this thing is really paining me, cos i was once like u, but am wiser now, a lot wiser

its a human weakness that thing that comes very easy n is too good, we dont value dem!!!.

same shit happened 2 me.there was a chic that was just too good.called n text every day, , fawns over me.etc the whole works.i noticed that my love 4 her started reducing drastically, luckily 4 me i came 2 my senses on time 2 know that what i had is a jewel of inestimable value, i had 2 downplay my games/act, to a manageable level, cos she was almost on the verge of quitting the relationship,



just follow ur heart, talk 2 plenty, nobody can teach u all these things.u learen by experience,
i have a head start cos i started my classes quite early

Where is harakiri?

Give us status update please Amebo de sweet oo.