nelsonebby:

you can stay with friends or your guy every night

jamariwolf:
I'm a student in one of Nigeria's most prestigious universities (name withheld, I love privacy) and we're just 6 in a room. Everything is going fine, everyone minding their biz but this particular something creeps me out. She's always and constantly in the room (except for class hours) , staring at everyone (like someone's who's got extreme trust issies). She's always looking over her shoulders like someone is coming to stab her or something, and the worst part, she never speaks to anyone.

You know the saying 'Fear the most quiet person in the room'?
Oh yeah, I'm tired. No roomie bonding at all and I need a break from her black face. We have just two months(after December) before we go separate ways but I can't take it no more..

Hector09:
My type, when i was in 100 level i dnt talk to any one in my room, thou we re just 4 cus thats d maximum, i just they mind my business ooo, my room mate start gossiping abt me, na that day i knw say boys can also gossip

BluntBoy:


How can you live in a room and not talk to roommates?

That is some psychological issue. You have a lot to benefit from people just as you may have a lot to lose as well. You can't be in a school and want to live like a hermit.

It is like my ex. She had problems in school, same as one of her roommates. She wouldn't talk to anyone and continued combating the problem all by herself while her roommate and some other girls and boys with similar problem had already solved theirs. It took amnesty for her to graduate. She and that roommate later became very good friends.

Hector09:
bro some people are born that way, i luv isolating myself cus i enjoy it, bt i ve improved, i cn now interat with some one bt nt always

BluntBoy:


Nobody is born that way. The family is the first agent of socialization and that is where many people learn to be social or not. For instance, if the father is reserved and not very liberal, he may influence his child to be reserved. A violent and controlling father or mother may cause their child to develop narcissistic personality disorder which would include inferiority complex and a desire to control/bully others.

BluntBoy:


Nobody is born that way. The family is the first agent of socialization and that is where many people learn to be social or not. For instance, if the father is reserved and not very liberal, he may influence his child to be reserved. A violent and controlling father or mother may cause their child to develop narcissistic personality disorder which would include inferiority complex and a desire to control/bully others.

Hector09:
u got it wrong, my dad was a teacher nd he talks alot, my mum was d former women leader nd judge and my village, she is also a good talker if there is any words like that oo, my sibilings talks alot too, i cn remember my elder was sug spokes person during his time in skul, bt i choose to be difference, am born this way

Gofwane:
that's how i am. My whole family is fighting me because of that. Especially my aunt.
When i close from work, i will lock myself inside my room even though others are in the parlor gisting.
Not like i am a totally quite person, i talk to people with same interests as me. I don't talk when in company of people that love to analyse other people's lives.

jamariwolf:
true. I also bliv that when a child is kept indoors always, this happens.

Hector09:
u got it wrong, my dad was a teacher nd he talks alot, my mum was d former women leader nd judge and my village, she is also a good talker if there is any words like that oo, my sibilings talks alot too, i cn remember my elder was sug spokes person during his time in skul, bt i choose to be difference, am born this way

Yinkakatty:
M in my final year and I think I've been exactly like your roommate for most of my stay on campus. You know the major problem you have? People like you tend to think that everyone is like you, you make noise, shout, gossip with other roomies about another roomies. Feel me? Want you to know people are different, y'all are from different backgrounds and it can't be thesame! Not everyone likes to gossip, not everyone likes noise and she's not bonding because you people don't have like minds, you know? She's probably thinking of how to become a billionaire and you are thinking of bonding

Next2Bezee:


Don't you resemble an antelope yourself?

The girl has not done anything to you and has chosen to stay on her own, but some water spirits will still not allow her rest.

If you can't stand her then you can move to another room, afterall you are not paying her school fees.

BluntBoy:


Bro, the OP is right to ask for help. The girl in question may be deadlier than a snake. She can murder them in their beds if she is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia.

Next2Bezee:


Why are some Nigerians like this? Uncle are you the one that gave her schizophrenia??

Somebody is busy minding her business and you're saying she may be deadlier than a snake, you and the OP should better drop this primitive village way of thinking. Even if they just brought you people from the village, there is no need to showcase it to everybody.

BluntBoy:


I think you should read the OP again.

That girl has some psychological issues that may need treatment.

First, she stares strangely (can pass as a symptom of catatonic schizophrenia).

Always looking over her shoulders (can pass for a symptom of paranoid schizophrenia).


Finally, while it is true that people are different, it is also true that we are made to live in a society. We are made to live together and not in isolation. The reasons why we are different is not for us to go and live separately but to live together and learn from one another. That is one of the reasons why they were even in the same room in the first place.

Yinkakatty:


There are two sides to a story bruhhh ... She came here to rant about how the girl isn't talking to them buh have you ever seen anyone with no association whatsoever? Even if it's just a friend, she will have. Why is she friends with that one friend? They have something in common!

People like Op are people that don't know how to mind their business and they feel like everyone should be like them. In my experience, I have friends, acquaintances, but it's a hostel filled with different personalities. If your person and my person don't align, how can we be friends?

Yinkakatty:
I also need you to understand that people exhibit different behaviours that can make you dislike them in the hostel. For example, in my second year, in my hostel, Gas isn't allowed, we use stove. Now, I have cold easily and right in my small room of six people, my roommates cook and also turn off their stoves in the room with no consideration whatsoever for other people. Mind you, there is a kitchen. How do you expect me to cope with such people? She's here to tell just her side, don't make hasty judgement .

BluntBoy:


Get some education.

I never said she certainly had schizophrenia. I only said she could be suffering from schizophrenia considering how the OP described her behavior. One of the symptoms could pass for that of paranoid schizophrenia.

Go and check the lives of famous serial killers like Gein and Richard Chase, all of them had psychological problems, especially antisocial personality disorder.

Lastly, not talking is now the same thing as "minding your business" You people have really abused the phrase "minding your business". Minding your business does not mean being aloof. Minding your business does not mean you should live like a hermit in a social setting. Hermits live alone. If you want to be a hermit, then you need to leave the social setting and go and live alone in a secluded building in a forest or somewhere. Someone shares a room with four people on campus; she is always staring and not talking and you call that "minding your business"? Even the whites who brought up all this "mind your business" stuff still respect common etiquette like, at least, saying hi to roommates and the authorities encourage them to report strange behaviors and movements.

There is nothing primitive about my argument. There are people who spend years studying others (psychologists and psychiatrists). If we all decide to always interpret strange or antisocial behaviors as merely a result of different backgrounds or as an act of "minding your business", then, why do we need psychologists, social workers and psychiatrists?

Next2Bezee:


And those symptoms could also pass for a bipolar defect, so your assumption is way out if line ...considering you now decided to claim that someone you didn't know is a murderer.

I do not see where the OP has expressed a desire to take some time and try to befriend the quiet girl and here you are, comparing her with murderers.

Your argument is as primitive as it gets, i will tell you what i typed to the OP....You did not pay her school fees...so your epistle is crap. As long as someone doesn't not nose into the matter of others, even if they are aloof, then they are minding their business oga and that doesn't make them a hermit.

If you're thinking if forcing everyone to socialize, then you need more than just an education. You need sense.

BluntBoy:


Bro, use your commonsense now

You said the symptoms could pass for bipolar defect (whatever they means). You are stating a possibility, not a fact. So, why use your statement of possibility to rubbish my own statement of possibility. Na which school you attend sef?

Anyway, I wrote that "she could murder them in their beds if she had paranoid schizophrenia.

The bold indicate possibility and not certainty. I never said with certainty that she was suffering from schizophrenia. I only said that it was possible that she was suffering from schizophrenia.

No one said people should be forced to socialize but when someone cannot even exhibit proper etiquette (like saying hi to those with whom you share a roof), then, you are either rude, untrained or suffering from some psychological problems.

I insist that you need to go back to school, my friend.

jamariwolf:
I'm a student in one of Nigeria's most prestigious universities (name withheld, I love privacy) and we're just 6 in a room. Everything is going fine, everyone minding their biz but this particular something creeps me out. She's always and constantly in the room (except for class hours) , staring at everyone (like someone's who's got extreme trust issies). She's always looking over her shoulders like someone is coming to stab her or something, and the worst part, she never speaks to anyone.

You know the saying 'Fear the most quiet person in the room'?
Oh yeah, I'm tired. No roomie bonding at all and I need a break from her black face. We have just two months(after December) before we go separate ways but I can't take it no more..

Next2Bezee:


Doctor oversabi, you were the one that brought psychological disorders to the topic. The only symptom the OP highlighted was that the girl was quiet and you rapidly assumed it was schizophrenia.

If being quiet was what we had to go by, then it could possibly be a myraid of psychological disorders.

Again i repeat, You DID NOT pay her school fees. There is no law forcing anyone to show etiquette. If the OP does not like it, she can move to another room. But you need sense asap, i wonder how you have survived until now no brain power at all.

nelson7777:


Bro no disrespect,
** u r making introverts look like a psychological problem while its not
** BIG "YES" as a graduate of psychology a child can be born dat way, it might b her genetic predisposition, u dnt knw her father or mother or grandparents so hw did u come to dat conclusion

** You r using alot of psychological terms dat u dnt "REALLY" knw d meaning..

** There is a branch of psychology called, biological psy/ physiological psy / biopsychology, read up there n u will see it there

** The principle of individual difference in psy, simply state dat no 2 individual can evr b d same, even if they r siamese twins ( those twins dat hv 1 or more part of their body joined 2 geda)

** just because some1 does nt share d same personality traits wit u does nt make them abnormal, wat exactly is an abnormal behaviour??

** do u knw there are people who talking 2 much makes their mouth dry, they loose energy, some even faint
u shud also read up on dat

** op u r nt a good friend, wat i was expecting 4rm u is to find out hw to live with a reserved person or an introvert nt gossips dat will bear no fruit

** Do u knw according to research INTROVERTS r d most intelligent people in d whole world, and they are great observers
i bet my life, dat girl knws everything about u and all ur roomates, when u sleep, wat u eat, wen u go n come bak even hw much u hv in ur bank account, bt u guys dnt knw jack abt her..

** If u guys are smart enough there is alot u cn actually learn 4rm her, n trust me she is learning 4rm u guys quietly....

u wnt to b her friend give her time n show her she cn trust u, she will be s best friend u ever had..

nairalanders some times una they tire me oh, do u even knw if she has been raped by friends b4 ??
u people just jump into conclusion

u talk coping mechanism do u knw d meaning of coping mechanism, and hw mny coping mechanisms exist,

and wat is she even coping 4rm??

coping 4rm being an introvert ? looooooooooollllll

They r people who like to watch bt do nt participate
read about it,,
hv u evr played a game dat u couldn't pass a difficult stage and some hw who does nt play bt has been watching cud tell u hw to pass that stage or tk d pad 4rm u and pass dat stage

nelson7777:


i see u r an E warrior n choose nt to learn, so let me try n
simplify 4 u one last time..

There is a difference btw behaviour n personality

" BIG YES n introvert cn stare blankly at u",, most introverts gt lost in thought, there is movie in their mind, mathematical calcultion in their mind, emotional crisis they deal wit it in their mind, they r sad in thier mind, happy in their mind
point is they hv a busy mind dats y most people will say they stare blankly

" a person has a bad etiquette does not mean they r psychotic/mad or suffering 4rm all the personality diaorders u listed"" 4 example if u r some1 dat gossips i dnt greet u, i giv u more reason to hate me n gossip more,,
nw dats is my bad behaviour it has notin to do wit me being an introvert or an extro and i am nt psychotic..
ok,,

"" looking over her shoulder,, has notin to do wit being intro or extro, neither does it mean she suffer 4rm all those things u posted...
am an intro n i dnt look over my shoulder, they r traumas dat people suffer in life dat makes them look over their shoulders example rape, dats y i typed it on my previous comment
point is dis they r background check u make, and there r questions u ask, u dnt just jump to conclusion, n term a person psychotic jst because some 1 is exhibiting a behaviour u do nt understand, u cn b sued dat BIG TIME...


pls i hope i answered all ur question, if u dnt understand dis am sorry i hv notin else to say
thanks...


op if u cnt b her friend, n make her trust u, is allowed,
leave d poor girl alone