Sex, since the history of man or human evolution has gone through several changes, even in terms of definition and form and the individuals engaging in it. Once upon a time, sex was thought to be primarily for reproductive reasons, then for the relief of sexual tension and later, for the sexual pleasure. Right from the explosive documentation of the Kama Sutra, various studies and experiences have been carried out by persons and institutions to unravel the mystery of human sexology and why, besides procreation, sex is important to mortal men and women.

From the researches of Alfred Kinsey who is regarded as the father of sexology in the 40s and 50s to Masters and Johnsons famous researches on orgasms of the 60s and 70s, sex has become a subject of great interest to all. Now, a research conducted by psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss on why women have sex which is published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, the duo in their new book of the same title, have listed 237 reasons why women have sex with their partners. Ranging from the mundane desires to experience physical pleasure; to the vengeful intentions of getting back at a cheating partner, the spiritual attempt to get closer to God, or the altruistic gesture of wanting a partner to feel good about themselves. Meston and Buss concluded that the motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number than what most people think and psychologically complex in nature too. Some of the reasons listed are quite glaring and practiced across societies and persons at various times, regardless of their marital status too. In fact, marital sex as well as long term relationships tend to be more complex than those in newer or non-commitment relationships. Just as a married woman may have a legion of reasons for not wanting to have sex, she just might have another gazillion on why she must have sex.

The most important and common reason being duty sex. Once married, it is assumed that providing sexual pleasure to her partner is a given. She must fulfill her own side of the bargain to keep the union. To some other women, it is the price for the status and benefits. In this case, it has nothing to do with her own sexual pleasures or preference and more about submission, ditto the man. Many women also believe that the more sex they have with their partners, the less chances he is likely to stray. Women assume that the more sex he gets with them, the less chances he is likely to think about sex outside the box, much less look for it. While good communication channel and a strong sexual connection may have been identified as important keys to a good relationship, hardly has having sex with a partner on demand been known to keep a person from straying into the thighs of another woman. Some women also believe that sex and children are the perfect ways to keep their men. Women dubiously believe that the more children and responsibility they throw at their husbands, the less likely they are to walk away from them. So, where they have agreed on two children, these women, on their own volition, manipulate or "accidentally" go on to have more children. This hardly works in some cases. You can only keep a man down for as long as he wants to stay down. Lets just go through some reasons I found quite interesting in this book which I have practical examples for.

Pity sex: Women may sometimes give in to sex for this simple reason, after all, we are women with maternal instincts. Some of the women in the book confessed to have had sex with men just because they felt sorry for them. According to one, she had been dating a guy over two years and he had been pleading with her all through. One day, she said she took pity on him and agreed. However, he was out of the door as soon as he could pull his pants up. A similar scenario happened to one of the young girls I counsel. She had been dating the guy for quite some time, and though she had told him she was no virgin, she however decided to go celibate until she was married. The guy had gone on to systematically work on her emotions and soon, broke her down. She said the day she agreed to have sex with him, he had prostrated flat on his stomach, swearing heaven on earth. What kind of desperation is that? However, what happened after the act, almost robbed her of her education as she did not want to return to school. She said immediately it was over, he jumped up and punched the air with his fist, asking if that was all that she had to offer. He went on to tell her that he had only been acting out a script and never loved her. In fact, he and a couple of guys already placed a bet on her...
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