QueenUtum:


Yes, he tells me how his friends scam American women out of lots of money. Then gets angry with me and calls me judgemental if I show sympathy for the victim. Apparently Europeans and Americans deserve is because of slavery he tells me. He calls me white and talks about the crimes of my ancestors, when my dad is black and from a former slave colony in the Caribbean. My mum is white and she's lovely, she would never hurt anyone, black or white.

QueenUtum:


Yes, he tells me how his friends scam American women out of lots of money. Then gets angry with me and calls me judgemental if I show sympathy for the victim. Apparently Europeans and Americans deserve is because of slavery he tells me. He calls me white and talks about the crimes of my ancestors, when my dad is black and from a former slave colony in the Caribbean. My mum is white and she's lovely, she would never hurt anyone, black or white.

QueenUtum:


How can you just turn your feelings off if you love someone. If I have money and he doesn't how can I tell if it's genuine? He doesn't ask for money but tells me how he's struggling and I offer to help.

QueenUtum:


Yes, he tells me how his friends scam American women out of lots of money. Then gets angry with me and calls me judgemental if I show sympathy for the victim. Apparently Europeans and Americans deserve is because of slavery he tells me. He calls me white and talks about the crimes of my ancestors, when my dad is black and from a former slave colony in the Caribbean. My mum is white and she's lovely, she would never hurt anyone, black or white.

QueenUtum:


I'm not currently gaining anything from him. When I was in Nigeria with him he was very sweet to me, I guess I thought love was more important than money. Is a relationship always about gaining something?

Angelparadise:

Before I accept a guy as my bf or love him that much, he must pass some certain tests to prove his genuine love or affection to my person ,definitely he can fake it for long . Anyway it depends on individual environment but I so must value respect that I can not ignore it . It nice you offer to help but he should respect you for that by showing it while chatting.

BlaqCoffee109:
your man calls you a dumb ass and you asking what to do with him?? I wanted to say something unflattering to you but nah... here's what you need to understand, never be with a man who disrespects you and treat you like some piece of sh*t because you my dear are a queen.Dump his godforsaken sorry ass and find you a good M.A.N; that right there is a loser

Martin0:


this is your mentality.

if a man calls you dumb ass right in front of you, it more and better it not at your back.

now what you need to do as a lady is ask him why he called you dumb ass, see reasons to it and build to correct that word, by proving him wrong you are not.

CoZ if u don't more men may also call you dumb ass and u will never know why coz u choose not to ask previously but walked out.

Martin0:


your boyfriend telling you all these doesn't guarantee you the thought of breakup, I have a girlfriend but nobody knows about it, I told her I almost got into the scamming or fraud thing, but that was never a reason to break up, there are times when u get hit by frustration and you are forced to do some silly things just to step up with life expectations..

my very old school good friend was once a big time heavy scammer, but today his married to Estonia lady, living there for over 8years now, infact he met her as a maga according to him and he had intentions to scam her by fake love, but it never worked out for him coZ the lady caught him inlove and he started loving her.


stories briefed, at a time he admitted to the lady what he earlier had in mind towards her ,his sincerity and openness towards his current wife got him that chance to prove his love for her...

today they have their kids living well, happily married, life has changed for him, his no longer a scammer but as u know guys will always remember him With that old act...

again another fact about this lady, she's more than 15years older than him.

at a time I sent him messages not to use this lady to gain or maybe his trying to use her for something, I was even thinking it was to get visa or maybe green card..

but all this are just not it, the love was real, my dear you have to work more on your relationship, try to understand why you had such conversation and know what it all trying to translate to before you conclude..

sometimes we kinda think weird but it become a different story at the end.

try to find out if his trying to be sincere or open to you about some things you may or don't know about.

Angelparadise:

Bros it better to build with your senses functional than build blindly that will lead to stories that touches . Gone are the days where only ladies are expected to commit while building relationship. My people says ' now that birds have learnt how to fly without perching the hunters most learn how to shoot without missing'

BlaqCoffee109:
following the trail of the conversation... some deductions on his train of thoughts,that guy has little or no respect of her...that's the whole point; even if she were dumb... like you trying to buttress why he called her that, that is just plain disrespectful... there's no regard for her period.

QueenUtum:


Thanks for your well thought out answer. Is your friend happy with his Estonian wife? Do you think it's genuine? He has called me a dumbass but I've called him worse in the past. And yes I am currently trying to talk things through with him and see why he feels this way. My boyfriend could be a scammer if he wanted to but instead he worked and put himself through university. I respect that. I just fear the stereotype of the dating scams I read about.

BlaqCoffee109:
following the trail of the conversation... some deductions on his train of thoughts,that guy has little or no respect of her...that's the whole point; even if she were dumb... like you trying to buttress why he called her that, that is just plain disrespectful... there's no regard for her period.

QueenUtum:


Have you ever called a boyfriend something worse than a dumbass? I'm sorry to say that I have

Martin0:


see I don't deal with issues like this, am not asking this op to go with any of these advice or even mine, but I most admit it, these which you just said is not the best way to look at things.

BlaqCoffee109:
ok ...my mentality tho

QueenUtum:


Thanks for your well thought out answer. Is your friend happy with his Estonian wife? Do you think it's genuine? He has called me a dumbass but I've called him worse in the past. And yes I am currently trying to talk things through with him and see why he feels this way. My boyfriend could be a scammer if he wanted to but instead he worked and put himself through university. I respect that. I just fear the stereotype of the dating scams I read about.

QueenUtum:
This is my boyfriend telling me about one of his friends. It made me feel bad as I'm English/Caribbean and I met him in Nigeria....sometimes I send him money. He's 5 years younger than me. Guess your all gonna tell me I'm a fool?

I'm sorry to say but you are indeed a fool ...

Are you sure you don't have self esteem issues to be taking such crap from a guy five years younger

Life must be really tough.

QueenUtum:


How can you just turn your feelings off if you love someone. If I have money and he doesn't how can I tell if it's genuine? He doesn't ask for money but tells me how he's struggling and I offer to help.

RuthDaniels:
When you date a man who has little respect for you but a very big black diick

QueenUtum:


Yes, he tells me how his friends scam American women out of lots of money. Then gets angry with me and calls me judgemental if I show sympathy for the victim. Apparently Europeans and Americans deserve is because of slavery he tells me. He calls me white and talks about the crimes of my ancestors, when my dad is black and from a former slave colony in the Caribbean. My mum is white and she's lovely, she would never hurt anyone, black or white.

ednut1:
Sorry to say bt ur a fool. He is using u. Chai

Lalas247:

The thing is most of these NON-Black ladies have no clue
They are blinded by Love as they love deep lol no be like awa Naija babes wey don shine eye
The moment they realise most are not genuine better for them ...

ednut1:
she dey even call am my man hahahahaha. Mugu of life.

QueenUtum:



He's claiming it's his friend he's talking about but I wonder. And yes we have some fine men in the UK but I met this guy in Nigeria and fell for him. He didn't talk to me like this when we were together. The more he tells me about his scamming friends I wonder if I'm getting scammed to?

I like how blunt you are. English people don't talk like that, just tell you what you want to hear.

Martin0:


yeah! Na WA for u oo, forget that word mentality, sorry jor