zicoraads:

Why won't it be a 50-50 thing? Meaning you agree that your role is primarily in the kitchen and taking care of the kids and home?

. Yes, those are some of the primary, but not exclusive duties of a wife, Mr Zicoraads. The husband can do these things, too, but as a supportive role. I don't know any home where the wife cooks for one week, and the husband the whole of the other week...and that because it's not his primary duty. In the same vein, a man shouldn't expect his woman to split bills with him 50-50 all the time.

Even the so-called feminists won't agree to this. They'd always expect the man to do more.

I can't tell anyone what they should want...what principles to adopt or how to live their lives. But I think the narrative is getting mixed up and it's causing a whole lot of confusion. In my opinion, men should be more concerned about finding a woman who won't be a financial burden...a woman who can sustain herself and still support him.


***Allow me give you a scenario of what I think makes sense. I have a cousin who's married... They've got three kids. She pays the fees of the ast kid while the husband pays for the oldest ones. He pays the rent, he provides money for feeding. But of course, she augments the feeding money when she wants to do more than the money can carry. She fuels her car, when they need to celebrate the children's birthdays, she contributes to it, too. When cooking has runs out, she doesn't have to wait for her husband before she refills. They have a joint account, even for the kids. He's doing more quite alright, but she's significantly contributing, too. They are happy and don't quite alright, becasue they found what works for them and everyone is respecting their place.

It's different strikes for different folks, though. In another home I know of, the wife only pays the fees for the kids when it's being delayed. But the husband must refund her the money later. They are fine like that. At least she takes pressure off him and the kids are saved from any embarrassment.

There are yet many homes still where the wife does the bulk. I grew up in such a home. If it is a temporary arrangement, it's fine. That's why a financially independent woman is needed. She'll step in and hold the home.

ok

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nahzyla:


Men in those countries still pay for dates unless the woman offers to pay and they are very feministic. Men in those countries still woo women by buying gifts like roses and jewelry.That doesn't make them insult women or look down on them like our Nigerian brothers.
I haven't traveled abroad but I do a while lot of online research on how they live and I have relatives who live abroad that tell me things.

The greed in this post just stinks.
Look no man is buying you roses or jewelry (or a 40k phone) just so your penniless parasitic asș can 'fall in love'.


This. Even these little skinny girls with absolutely nothing to offer another human being, they want to be wooed with phones, weave and jewelry. Madness.

My Question
1. I think OP is a Christian, Please any bible verse that say all the responsibilities of your gf become yours?
2. Before you go after her, is somebody not shouldering her responsibilities before?
3. Doesn't she has a family that should take care of her? Is she orphan?
4. Ain't she a human being also that she should be waiting for one man to be her provider?
Please answer those question 'cos I knew relationship is not a business transcation.
LIKE for ladies who buy their stuff themselves SHARE for those waiting for one man to start living.

Olifiz:


I will never find a girl and force her into my budget, if she won’t accept what I have to offer as a bf pls she can walk, but no lady should walk into any relationship hoping her entire needs will be catered for by the guy. Sure it’s hes responsibility to an extent to care for the lady as a bf.


Today’s relationship once a girl says yes to a guy automatically the guys becomes a debtor lol

It's our culture for a guy has to prove he can take care of a woman.

hmmm

ubunja:

you see how you fail to think constructively? you cant even explain why porn and masturbation is strong in an era of "cheap sex". well let me tell you since you cant put 1 and 1together. sex is cheap yes, but for a select few men who are sharing women among themselves. its the reason women generally have a higher rate of STIs than men (go Google the stats if you must). most guys are celibate in Friendzones.
as for sex dolls: you made the fatal error of linking sex and money. a guy may have money but if the price of access to sex is too much (the same point i made earlier) then men wont want to pay that price. a sex doll becomes a better bargain. thats why sex dolls trended. get knowledge.

This is truth.

MarieSucre:



It's our culture for a guy has to prove he can take care of a woman.

It was also culture that twins be left to die in the evil forests. Parasites, recieve sense.

ModelX:
It was also culture that twins be left to die in the evil forests. Parasites, recieve sense.

If they are still killing twins in your community, then you need to come out of the stone age.

Hanseel1:

I don't think there are men who're doing 50/50 with their wives not even in America.. the highest is 60/40.


It's only in Nigeria that females equate sharing of bills to being unsubmissive.. ladies in western countries share bills and still submit to their husbands

Lol, that is simply not true.

Ghnaija:
So meaning a lady that is not yet your wife u are just doing" get to know eachother policy" meaning a man should be a man only on financial sector alone whiles the lady be a, excuse "parasite" on the host Can u clarify to me pls.

"you're getting to know her" but you're already sleeping with her and asking her come over and cook for you and your boys. What kind of deceptive thing is that?

ubunja:
Yes pls. and ediots like Davido giving their GFs cars for show off are making everything worse

He is an idiot because he gave his gf a car? What is with you broke men and hating on other men. This is why you need to read the post you're on and before commenting at all. If you're a man when who can only afford keke rides don't walk up to or toast a girl who has indicated she'd rather ride in a jeep.

The thing is you saw the signs but decided to come up here and be crying about gold-diggers thinking you'll get sympathy. Date your level, the end.

ModelX:
Okay I think the point you guys are missing in this entire argument is that the ALL of the female folk in naija have turned into demanding gold diggers. The sluts, the virgins, the single mothers, spinsters, married, the young, the old... ALL of them! Therein lies the frustration of the men.
So at the end of the day, it becomes NOT a question of game. @2buffagain

In our African culture(not that I agree with it) you're supposed to take the majority of the financial burden of the relationship.

Xisnin:


Don't mix up the issues, porn and masturbation are not a replacement for sex, at least for normal people
who desire sexual activity.
Sex doll is about statement and not sex. Because a sex doll is far more expensive than getting sex and poor people
who get sex can't even afford a sex doll.

Sex doll is not statement. There a videos of guys who are introverts with social anxiety disorders that have gotten sex dolls as their girlfriend because they cannot walk up to and toast a living, breathing female. There is no statement here, you they believe it is their gf, they wash it, clothe it and change its wig regularly.

MarieSucre:


If they are still killing twins in your community, then you need to come out of the stone age.

And would you not similarly need to come out of the stone age if men as providers is still your reality?

Quit posting or quoting if the logic eludes you.

zicoraads:

Does she contribute to how I look good?

Is she with you because of how good you look?
This is a very silly comment no offence.

If we count how many threads on nairaland are about how gf/wife has lost shape and they're no longer attracted to her versus that of bf/husband, we know who it really matters to.

Is that your first criteria for approaching a girl? Keep living in denial. We know your type, you will all mellow in your 40's.

ModelX:


And would you not similarly need to come out of the stone age if men as providers is still your reality?

Quit posting or quoting if the logic eludes you.

So you're saying Men should not be the providers? You want women to be?

MarieSucre:


He is an idiot because he gave his gf a car? What is with you broke men and hating on other men. This is why you need to read the post you're on and before commenting at all. If you're a man when who can only afford keke rides don't walk up to or toast a girl who has indicated she'd rather ride in a jeep.

The thing is you saw the signs but decided to come up here and be crying about gold-diggers thinking you'll get sympathy. Date your level, the end.

and debate you level, the end.

Xisnin:


You have been cajoled, they don't really want the qualities they claim they want,
at least many of them. Many men who claim to love independent ladies are liars,
they will still be the one to reject such ladies because they are not "humble".
Slay queens are not totally wrong as you think, they have just learnt the difference
between what people say and what they do.

Of course we know. Men are confused. I have seen it over and over.

aimmoney9:
Who opened the legs? If girls don't open their legs, nothing will enter. If you don't give, he will not take. So girls should stop pretending as if they don't know the consequences of sex- pregnancy and sti/std

Do you there are many steps before opening if leg se? Like for instance "toasting". If you do not toast her, she will not agree for you till the opening of leg part.
If you do not give interest of relationship, she will take and open her leg.
If you don't have sex, you will not die. But I guess it's easier for you to deceive yourself, but not for long. We know your kind. Una eye go clear.

ubunja:
and debate you level, the end.

I'm not the one looking for girls to force into my life budget. Goodluck being single.

ModelX:


The greed in this post just stinks.
Look no man is buying you roses or jewelry (or a 40k phone) just so your penniless parasitic asș can 'fall in love'.


This. Even this little skinny girls with absolutely nothing to offer another human being, they want to be wooed with phones, weave and jewelry. Madness.

Men buy women roses and jewelry, phone LA worth it to worth 600k lol. Stop spewing trash. Say I ModelIX is broke and cannot. Don't dragging everyman into your poverty.

MarieSucre:


So you're saying Men should not be the providers? You want women to be?

If you still don't get it, I'm afraid you never will.
Begone.

ModelX:
If you still don't get it, I'm afraid you never will. Begone.

Then explain. Should the bill be split half-half?

Aladeintl:
My Question
1. I think OP is a Christian, Please any bible verse that say all the responsibilities of your gf become yours?
2. Before you go after her, is somebody not shouldering her responsibilities before?
3. Doesn't she has a family that should take care of her? Is she orphan?
4. Ain't she a human being also that she should be waiting for one man to be her provider?
Please answer those question 'cos I knew relationship is not a business transcation.
LIKE for ladies who buy their stuff themselves SHARE for those waiting for one man to start living.

What are your expectations from a relationship. Are you asking wifey duties from her but want to treat your finances towards her as that of a bf, then bros kolewerk.

JERRY1925:
sad truth, I once walked up to a girl, we spoke for hours the first day...I knew she was a runs girl..but I decided to try my luck..the next day we met.. she came asking for 5 thousand..immediately my brain reminded me that this is not what I need...I smiled and walked away..we really have to know what we want..wen I talk to a girl for 30min ...it doesn't take m much time to understand her person.
seriously there are broke girls out there..decent ones..despite them not having they try hard to manage what they have..I have seen..

Bless you sire!

Spoken like a true gentleman.

Boland

Don`t grow weary.
Make sure you go back to HIM for refreshment.

MarieSucre:


Sex doll is not statement. There a videos of guys who are introverts with social anxiety disorders that have gotten sex dolls as their girlfriend because they cannot walk up to and toast a living, breathing female.

Will the same guys reject a female's advance?
How can someone claim to be an introvert and still spill the the detail of their personal lives online?
"Oh, I am introverted but see me with my sex dolls", how does that sound?

There is no statement here, you they believe it is their gf, they wash it, clothe it and change its wig regularly.

You know only what they want you to believe. I haven't seen many newly wedded couple releasing their honeymoon
intimate videos because they have nothing to prove.
But the supposedly introverted sexdollians are all over the internet seeking for attention.
If that is not a statement, what would you call it?

MarieSucre:


What are your expectations from a relationship. Are you asking wifey duties from her but want to treat your finances towards her as that of a bf, then bros kolewerk.

My submission is that as long as she is still my gf I am not under any obligation to be her provider (and i'm not expecting wifely duties from her) even if when we marry no law I must be responsible for her 24/7.
She also must take responsibility for her life.

ideology:
sorry dear!

First of all, we don't belong to the same school of thought.

Secondly you misunderstood what I said probably because you didn't follow from the beginning.

That I want to provide for my home, does not stop my wife from assisting.

My point is very clear, what I won't do is tell my wife. House rent is 2million, bring 1millon.

School fees is 5million bring 2.5million.

Do you get it now! Like the guy who said 50:50

I know I will marry a good lady who will know how to come in.

Abeg don't be fast to judge people you don't know from anywhere. I dont even remember using the word independent Thanks

sorry am nt judging u am just saying my own point of view.. If I misterpret u am sorry for dat... You ve already said it all dat we don't belong to the same school of thought..

Aladeintl:

My submission is that as long as she is still my gf I am not under any obligation to be her provider (and i'm not expecting wifely duties from her) even if when we marry no law I must be responsible for her 24/7.
She also must take responsibility for her life.

Then you're not ready to get married. Goodluck being single till you're 80.