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My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do (75158 Views)

Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice / My Younger Sister Has This Entitlement Mentality. Help I'm Scared For Her. / My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by sammylink: 11:21pm On Jun 01, 2018
Report to the reasonable ones amongst your inlaws.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by ToyinDipo(m): 11:21pm On Jun 01, 2018
Find husband for her sad

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by ignatiuschinedu(m): 11:22pm On Jun 01, 2018
Ask your wife to travel to your home town and spend 1 month and see if the elder sister wouldn't leave to.

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Nobody: 11:23pm On Jun 01, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?



Trash.

Remove ur life problems online.

Goan consult both parents.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Nobody: 11:23pm On Jun 01, 2018
crislyn:

You are wise.
And you're so beautiful.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by murtalaa(m): 11:25pm On Jun 01, 2018
Archangel15:
Man up and tell YOUR wife's sister to leave YOUR house
most practical answer. Cut all the bul5hit and talk to her directly to pack and leave

2 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by seunjungle1(m): 11:25pm On Jun 01, 2018
All the comments are well said.
I have two options for you guy. I don't wat you o see them as if the options are too rude or harsh...just a way out off the thrash.

You must have known by now if your wife find her sister visit enjoyable.

You must have known their attitude against each other if they find it interesting.

My number one option has been said by someone which is to start naked yourself in the house but I will advice you not to go towards that direction..you can start wearing some strange attitudes towards that but not exact that. Like, start putting on just ordinary boxer without any top around your wife sister and some other acting

My number two option is that you turn yourself to another person in the face of your wife...Now, you let it appear to your wife as if you're getting interest in her sister for SEXaffair. You may not let this appear to the sister but you know how you can become a suspect of such to your wife. You can start this by giving an approach on what you don't do before to your wife sister and started doing them...I bet it, the sister will just wake-up one morning and tell you that she's going.

Don't look at options as if they harsh or hard to act. Act on any of it. Nobody will tell your wife to ask her sister to leave...no woman want her husband to have second fucker not to talk of close relative'sister'.

Don't even try to tell your wife to ask her sister to leave if she's a type that doesn't decode on time.
And never tell the condition to any of their relatives or you become their enemy because no one among will listen to understand your point. Act fast!!! Best

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by gazilion: 11:26pm On Jun 01, 2018
alimaa:
I don't know anyone to report to, her stay has increased my daily expenses.

alimaa:
i have not discussed it with my wife yet because i don't know how she would feel.

Based on the above statements, You are a coward!
If you remain this cowardly, you'll become foolish!!

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by jaxxy(m): 11:26pm On Jun 01, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

Go back to the basics and ask ur wife the purpose of her sisters visit 1st again then tell her u need ur privacy due to the limited space in the house and find out if the sister has any issues with accomodation so u can put heads together to work out a solution. U can't drive out ur inlaw bt u can let ur wife get the msg and sort things out herself.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by themonk(m): 11:27pm On Jun 01, 2018
hush15:


talk sense into your wife....which sense do you want to talk to her about!!!!

I just went through a tread that was asking the most foolish question ever: who owns the man, the wife or the mother. now you say the man should talk sense to the woman..

any right sensed man should know the only person he answers to is God, not mother or wife. if I were the guy, I would let her continue to sleep with her sister and by the time she would realize her stupidity, I would be long gone. let her go and explain to those that bother on how stupid she was....
So basically you will crash your marriage to prove a point. I weep for your brain.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Nobody: 11:28pm On Jun 01, 2018
lol

See dem nairalanders aff turn their stupid selves to marriage counsellors

It still baffles me why some people will bring their family problem to social media, forums, Blogs e. T. C

O P just divorce your wife. The sister. The family. Everybody join and go commit suicide
Because your brain is just as useless as the "ueue" in Queue

Mofo

Quote me badly and gets missing undecided
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Restroom: 11:31pm On Jun 01, 2018
If your story na true my first question for you then is this why has she decided to stay with you people?

This question is very important. Was it your wife that encouraged her to stay?

Have you even asked your wife about how she feels about the whole thing? You need to know your wife viewpoint or mindset before.you act!

If I were you, I will simply talk to my wife about the situation and then the two of us, will gently talk to her together!

The point is to make it clear, we are not comfortable with her stay and that, whether she likes it or not, she can't stay past the next seven days. If she needs assistance, we will gladly help her with it but not her presence in our matrimonial home.

If she forms trouble, we will give her trouble together! Na so he reach!

Elder sister my foot!

Which one is better I start sleeping with her or eject her by all means?

To keep your marriage intact, you just got to be decisive bro. Because this is temptation of the evilest kind!
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Odion7777(m): 11:34pm On Jun 01, 2018
My Brother you are not in a good situation,I will advice you only tell your wife your situation which am sure she knows already.

Do not confront the elder sister telling her to live.
Suggest renting a single room for the elder sister and getting her a job.
You can also let it all play out, in Africa when you marry you marry the family.

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Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Nobody: 11:34pm On Jun 01, 2018
My heart is big enough to accommodate those who know the meaning of COMMON SENSE. Based on my faith and personal opinion, it takes only a man and woman to make a marriage. Yes, the place of relatives cannot be ignored, but it must also not be prioritized to the detriment of the marriage in the name of having a "big heart". Those relatives are also supposed to have their own homes to focus on. In a case where the relatives are not yet married, they can feel free to go to their parent's house. By my nature, I can even pay a person just to give me space. I can rent an apartment for them if need be, but my privacy can only be shared with my wife and kids. PERIOD.
kimbraa:
Then you don't have a big heart. When you marry, you're not just marring a wife but everyone. By right your in-laws should visit once in a while and should know when to leave but when they're not making the move to, you don't just throw them out. You lose a relationship by doing so and it's not good.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by noble2faith(m): 11:36pm On Jun 01, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

Egbon, walahi tiyin ti bayin!
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by troublemakea(m): 11:36pm On Jun 01, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
The problem most married men make in their early marriage is being too soft and scared of consequence. Oga discuss the situation with ur wife and let her know how you feel about it. Let your wife know you didn't marry both and besides you two needs privacy for now. Let her talk to her elder sister about it,give them sometime to act,and if she doesn't leave,then be a man and ask her to and damn the consequence. Is high time people should start saying their mind and stop pretending that all is well while they keep dying slowly in silence.

there's no wisdom in this

3 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by hush15: 11:40pm On Jun 01, 2018
themonk:

So basically you will crash your marriage to prove a point. I weep for your brain.

was that even a marriage at all. I weep for yours too

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by jibs4lv(m): 11:43pm On Jun 01, 2018
only if you know that those period is enough for your unborn kid to be getting ready , tell your wife or even you yourself should do the needful and send the shameless entity out asap.....what rubbish angry

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Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by oladele00(m): 11:46pm On Jun 01, 2018
Stay away from home for like two to three weeks and if ur wife ask y, just tell her that you are tired of being a stranger in ur hard earned rented apartment...
If na me be you, I will be looking for another apartment secretly.. If landlord throw ur belongings aside, she go find level na...I could still remember that time wey I dey visit my babe for school, if her frnds don come my face dey dey up and she self understand wella say baba no dey tolerant madness... Y I no go free for my own house?
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Globalistic(f): 11:48pm On Jun 01, 2018
My brother, I can feel ur pain. For me, when she was about coming to visit, ur wife seek for your permission and you approved right? Now, tell your wife that the time is up for her older sister to go and if she can't present the matter to her sister, please take a bold step and tell her your self. Please make sure you give her transport and pocket money to go back and if she refuses, tell her family members.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by hope4nigeria(m): 11:48pm On Jun 01, 2018
Tell your wife you are in love with her sister, trust me, you will not see the sister the following day.

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Kmartt(m): 11:51pm On Jun 01, 2018
kimbraa:
If you ask her to leave, you become an enemy, and if your wife who happens to be her younger sister should ask her to leave, she'd assume your wife is being disrespectful to her because she's married and she's not. Tell your wife to explain the situation to her mother or someone older to call her back and give you guys space.

Wise word

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Reeses: 11:51pm On Jun 01, 2018
Have told you guys to stop marrying from all these broke asss family they are opportunist they cant contribute anything in you except to milk or frustrate your life.Before you marry make sure you check out the family you are getting into ..As for your issue send that girl of your wife sister packing she is a leech

4 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Nobody: 11:52pm On Jun 01, 2018
Is she not beautiful ? Start buying her gifts and taking her with you to movies without your wife. And see your wife pursue her away with envy and call you a dog, while you smile in the inside.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Lexusgs430: 11:54pm On Jun 01, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

Have you spoken to your wife about it? And if you have, what did she say?
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by tunjijones(m): 11:55pm On Jun 01, 2018
This has happened to me before and dis is how I resolved it. I told my wife her sister has to leave. I then ask her t go and get a single and kitchen and toilet. It was 100k to rent I gave them 80k and the both looked for the remaining 20k and bingo she left my house. Look for money rent a house for her. At least she won't come and meet you to help her renew her house rent after one yr

3 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by cococandy(f): 11:58pm On Jun 01, 2018
If it’s your family member that is overstaying, you people will call your wife wicked for complaining.
She’s your in-law and she’s welcome in your house. Shikena.

Put up boundaries ( as in no laying in your bed or even staying in your bedroom for that matter). That’s all you need to do.

Treat your in-laws the way you want your wife to treat your siblings. You won’t be unhappy if your brother comes around and overstays.

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Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Essential(m): 11:58pm On Jun 01, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?
guy i feel ur pain. no chance to do the regular service with your wife at might again. x
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Itzonlyme(f): 11:59pm On Jun 01, 2018
Its not always easy to say.. Neither is it gonna be easy for ur wife too. Don't tell her anything.. Sometimes u sleep out for one week or bring some of ur relatives to the house..na she go run
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Reeses: 12:00am On Jun 02, 2018
tunjijones:
This has happened to me before and dis is how I resolved it. I told my wife her sister has to leave. I then ask her t go and get a single and kitchen and toilet. It was 100k to rent I gave them 80k and the both looked for the remaining 20k and bingo she left my house. Look for money rent a house for her. At least she won't come and meet you to help her renew her house rent after one yr
You are kidding right? Giving money to her to find her own apartment? You must be crazy ..WHERE IS HER DAMN PARENTS AT?

2 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by babeosisi: 12:06am On Jun 02, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

Is she the main breadwinner in the house?
Please answer this question
This is not uncommon when the woman is the one bringing home the bacon. Shouldn't be so but the saying that he who pays the piper dictates the tune is so true.

Was this your wife's apartment before you got married and you moved in with her.
I suspect that could be the case
I can't explain what else would poses an older sister to lay down in her sister''s matrimonial bed besides stupidity and over familiarity .

Even if you are not pulling your weight financially ,I don't believe you should be disrespected in this manner.
Your wife is unreasonable for not coming to an agreement with you on how long her sister is there for and I am shocked you've not even mentioned it to her.
This make me suspect strongly that she may be the main provider for the family.
I feel for you
You must have a conversation with your wife about this
You're not scared of her are you?

2 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by kmaster007: 12:09am On Jun 02, 2018
she won com spoil ur peaceful hme.. discuss with ur wife she will no wat to do abt it and if her sister refused to go nah to call family meeting for her head. chikena

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