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My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do (75166 Views)

Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice / My Younger Sister Has This Entitlement Mentality. Help I'm Scared For Her. / My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Afec1000givers: 12:11am On Jun 02, 2018
op your story is not complete. i suspect both sisters are orphan and possibly the sister is going through some hard time or might be sufering frm a broken heart which needs some time to heal. if she is jobless try getting a job for her. its not easy on you i know but pls she is also your famiy now.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Kayrich(m): 12:11am On Jun 02, 2018
Well to me the elder sister who is still single it's as good as my wife's younger sister. They both can live with me and my wife. No qualms about that. I will even be willing to allow any of them together with my wife sleeps on my matrimonial bed.
But what actually it is, the inner problem about that sister is what you didn't disclosed.
Or is it that she is still single and your wife was even her younger sister the problem to you?
Or that both of you will messed up with each other the problem? You didn't stated it or what?
I will just sense all these that if that way will make my wife happy, so be it. Even it means sleeping other rooms and even living room if I stays in a self-contained apartment.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Ccdavies(m): 12:12am On Jun 02, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.




Please what advice do you have for me?


That's your family problem please.. So we should tell you to send her packing bah? Uwafit.. Da owo use your head mbok.Amem?
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by babeosisi: 12:12am On Jun 02, 2018
Introduce her to a friend of yours so she can marry quick.That may be another solution
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Kayrich(m): 12:14am On Jun 02, 2018
Afec1000givers:
op your story is not complete. i suspect both sisters are orphan and possibly the sister is going through some hard time or might be sufering frm a broken heart which needs some time to heal. if she is jobless try getting a job for her. its not easy on you i know but pls she is also your famiy now.


Your response was also mine interwovenly.

Well to me the elder sister who is still single it's as good as my wife's younger sister. They both can live with me and my wife. No qualms about that. I will even be willing to allow any of them together with my wife sleeps on my matrimonial bed.
But what actually it is, the inner problem about that sister is what you didn't disclosed.
Or is it that she is still single and your wife was even her younger sister the problem to you?
Or that both of you will messed up with each other the problem? You didn't stated it or what?
I will just sense all these that if that way will make my wife happy, so be it. Even it means sleeping other rooms and even living room if I stays in a self-contained apartment.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 12:14am On Jun 02, 2018
kimbraa:
If you ask her to leave, you become an enemy, and if your wife who happens to be her younger sister should ask her to leave, she'd assume your wife is being disrespectful to her because she's married and she's not. Tell your wife to explain the situation to her mother or someone older to call her back and give you guys space.
op, this right here is a woman of wise words... Take her advice very seriously.
Only a member of her family who is older than she is and she respects can get her out. Talk to your wife, let her talk to their mum or dad then let them in turn talk sense to her. They can make it seem like they have noticed she has been in your house for too long and also find it embarrassing which is why they have called her. That way, she doesn't know that any of you has anything to do with her removal.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by ImaIma1(f): 12:19am On Jun 02, 2018
CanineOfJackal:
A neighbor died when coming back from work within that 2hr difference from a stray bullet during a robbery


I am sorry to hear that.

But what about the people that died on their way back home on time...they were not late

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Afec1000givers: 12:20am On Jun 02, 2018
murtalaa:
most practical answer. Cut all the bul5hit and talk to her directly to pack and leave
remember life is turn by turn...that lady most of u guys kept saying send her away might become their bread winner tomorrow. they are blood sisters emotion is involved

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Dearlord(m): 12:21am On Jun 02, 2018
You guys have spoken well, now it is time to let the elder speak.
1. If the Buhari regime is affecting his financial capabilities he should there for put her back inversely proportional to his abode in a formal manner.

2. If the above isn't the case, he should try to put her on a non-devil workshop to put her life in order because life is cyclotronic.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by SirBunky85(m): 12:26am On Jun 02, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
. Meaning what? No parents or what? Keep whining,don't act like a man.
u dey mind am?

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by olawale2324(m): 12:29am On Jun 02, 2018
try this, just stay in hotel for just 3 days wen ur wife call u tell her u need some privacy. she must know next thing to do on else.

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by SirBunky85(m): 12:31am On Jun 02, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
. So instead of him to man up and confront the issue at hand by politely asking his wife's elder sister to leave,he should start risking his life by coming back late abi? And if anything happens to him nko? Nawa for some men sha.
u dey mind all nairaland marriage advisers.imagine teln d guy to go sleep for hotel without asking if he hs such money to spend.e b like say everyone for dis forum na marriage counsellor

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by dadark: 12:31am On Jun 02, 2018
sharrap....
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by dadark: 12:33am On Jun 02, 2018
look for another place to stay for her than complaining....ofcourse sisters will help each other no matter how crazy the situation may be....
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by SirBunky85(m): 12:36am On Jun 02, 2018
ImaIma1:


So if he usually gets home by 7pm and he gets home 8 or 9pm, that is risking his life abi. People that get home by 10pm everyday, has anything happened to them? Even by 6pm, people's lives are at risk.

How does he tell her to leave? He should just call her and say "please i will appreciate if you leave my house". His wife is in the best position to tell her to go. He needs to press the wife to do it
see dem advisers.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by djkellyu(m): 12:42am On Jun 02, 2018
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Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Nobody: 12:50am On Jun 02, 2018
Archangel15:
Man up and tell YOUR wife's sister to leave YOUR house

This ^^^^

The Egun Anigilaje way, live and direct.

Not one to pussyfoot.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by dadark: 12:54am On Jun 02, 2018
ImaIma1:


So if he usually gets home by 7pm and he gets home 8 or 9pm, that is risking his life abi. People that get home by 10pm everyday, has anything happened to them? Even by 6pm, people's lives are at risk.

How does he tell her to leave? He should just call her and say "please i will appreciate if you leave my house". His wife is in the best position to tell her to go. He needs to press the wife to do it

leave and go where...?

do you know how dangerous it is to be homeless in nigeria....?
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by afroxyz: 1:07am On Jun 02, 2018
kimbraa:
If you ask her to leave, you become an enemy, and if your wife who happens to be her younger sister should ask her to leave, she'd assume your wife is being disrespectful to her because she's married and she's not. Tell your wife to explain the situation to her mother or someone older to call her back and give you guys space.

This is a perennial problem in our culture. We like to get emotional and sugar-coat things even when it hurts us. The man should give his wife an ultimatum to tell his sister to leave after which he should tell the sister himself. He can also move out till the sister lives out or he can invite other relatives from the village. There is no need massaging people's ego

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by lekonso: 1:08am On Jun 02, 2018
This situation requires wisdom. Just ask God for wisdom on how to deal with this problem. I read all the suggestions, most of them are good, but however, it depends on how mature your wife is in addition. You both need a high level of tact and maturity in dealing with this issue.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by babeosisi: 1:08am On Jun 02, 2018
Archangel15:
Man up and tell YOUR wife's sister to leave YOUR house

What if the house was first hers and she's the one paying for it?
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by 400billionman: 1:24am On Jun 02, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
The problem most married men make in their early marriage is being too soft and scared of consequence. Oga discuss the situation with ur wife and let her know how you feel about it. Let your wife know you didn't marry both and besides you two needs privacy for now. Let her talk to her elder sister about it,give them sometime to act,and if she doesn't leave,then be a man and ask her to and damn the consequence. Is high time people should start saying their mind and stop pretending that all is well while they keep dying slowly in silence.
No mind them people who live in pretence and die slowly

2 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Lucasbalo(m): 1:38am On Jun 02, 2018
SalamRushdie:
One of the disadvantages of marrying from a family that hasn't found it's feet financially .
Buddy, when you get married, i will tell your wife's older sister to move in with you. What's fair is fair.

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Lucasbalo(m): 1:40am On Jun 02, 2018
afroxyz:


This is a perennial problem in our culture. We like to get emotional and sugar-coat things even when it hurts us. The man should give his wife an ultimatum to tell his sister to leave after which he should tell the sister himself. He can also move out till the sister lives out or he can invite other relatives from the village. There is no need massaging people's ego
My man, you make the most sense. What kind of stupid culture is that. The guy should tell her to go or he goes. It's the ultimatum for the wife. It's either the husband or the sister. The wife should make her choice.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by babzo(m): 1:45am On Jun 02, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
The problem most married men make in their early marriage is being too soft and scared of consequence. Oga discuss the situation with ur wife and let her know how you feel about it. Let your wife know you didn't marry both and besides you two needs privacy for now. Let her talk to her elder sister about it,give them sometime to act,and if she doesn't leave,then be a man and ask her to and damn the consequence. Is high time people should start saying their mind and stop pretending that all is well while they keep dying slowly in silence.

Barman, give this correct man, one bottle of chilled champagne!

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Macon1212: 1:51am On Jun 02, 2018
You are very naive, you don't know that your wife encourage her sister to stay so long, maybe they planned it together. Put pressure on your wife and challenge her that you know they planned it together that she should call her parents to talk sense to her to leave.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Odimson69: 1:54am On Jun 02, 2018
If you have your way bring more 2 people to join from your side then your wife will complain
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by VibesCartel: 1:59am On Jun 02, 2018
Lol, but aint this tht kinda things we read on ig ?
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by stevups(m): 2:16am On Jun 02, 2018
You are over feeding her! Go and buy gari, kulikuli and sugar.
Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by gare(f): 2:45am On Jun 02, 2018
alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

Why are we sounding as as if we dealing with our enemies or strangers. This is someone's sister, I am surprised that no one had asked where she was staying before coming to the house? What she was doing before coming to the house? If she needs any assistance to settle down, we just run our mouths throw her out.

She may need help, so speak to your wife and find out her through situation, before you think of what to do, you're are all family the law has made it so treat like yours, find out her concerns

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by sayisayi(m): 2:46am On Jun 02, 2018
When u get pikin...you will be screaming for her to come and babysit..

1 Like

Re: My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do by Daboomb: 2:47am On Jun 02, 2018
awwfar:
hmmm...so u get sense like this ..
my advice is that you start walking around your house naked henceforth with your stick pointing forward like a battled ready soldier that's about to pull the trigger in the middle of a war, its sha your house.


This your advice na IED o! shocked shocked Very, very explosive!

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