bjayx:
All junks... Nobody owes U shiit.
U need to see life from the angle of opportunities n privileges. U appreciate life better in that sense.

swiz123:


You didn't read the write-up bro

If we help a friend in a difficult situation, possibly, financially; we have every right to expect help from them when role's reversed. "one good turn deserves another" they say. So, technically, they owe us one

Now, is it wrong to feel entitled to get conceivable capital from big BRO? -- Of course not. Doesn't our big bro owe us a thing? -- of course he does.

makydebbie:
I don't know why I didn't get the mention.




Each person is living for him/herself.


When I offer someone a favor, I don't offer because I'm hoping when I need help, you'll automatically be there for me. You may end up disappointed. If you're going with this ideology while helping someone, you'll get discouraged and disappointed because we humans are unpredictable. And truthfully, it's up to the person to help us. You've done your part for humanity, don't expect a reward. You're not entitled to any trust me. If one comes fine, if it doesn't, move on.




You can expect something from your brother in this case. But don't bank on it! Whatever the case is, don't just sit down and wait for bro to remember you. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with you having expectations of others for help or whatsoever. But the fact remains that even if he's the richest man in the world, it is still totally up to him to decide whether to help you out financially.

In this life, we're all responsible for our actions. And that happens individually. If you failed at life while waiting for your brother to help you, then it's all your fault. Solely yours.
We owe ourselves by being responsible to ourselves. No one will do that for us. No one owes us a thing. I'm sorry, I get your point, but I stand by mine.


We're definitely responsible for everything that happens to us, life is one big injustice and we've to accept it. Even life doesn't owe us an explanation if we fail.

makydebbie:
I don't know why I didn't get the mention.




Each person is living for him/herself.


When I offer someone a favor, I don't offer because I'm hoping when I need help, you'll automatically be there for me. You may end up disappointed. If you're going with this ideology while helping someone, you'll get discouraged and disappointed because we h if we fail.

swiz123:
I decided to create this thread because of an articled claimed to be written by a popular Ghanaian nairalander - makydebbie.

. LIFE IS NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS. LIFE IS NO BED OF ROSES FROM A-Z. Life is what you actually make out of it. Life is lived based on your own personal decisions. And in the end, no one owes you a thing, because in the end, our life is as a result of what we permit.”

He turned to leave but the lady called out, “Mister, wait. What did you just say in your last line again? No one owes me?”

The man repeated again but emphatically this time, “Yes Honey, no one… and I mean no one owes you or me a thing. Always heed to that.”

The above are some of the lines from her article which I'd like to prove that it's wrong to some extent.

In this world, we can't survive alone; we need people to help us. This is a raw fact about life - even those with zero entitlement mentality can attest to this.

Having been born into a family, we have every right to feel entitled to some basic needs from our parents. Our parents are responsible for us;if they don't clear a path for their child to follow, they have failed.

If we help a friend in a difficult situation, possibly, financially; we have every right to expect help from them when role's reversed. "one good turn deserves another" they say. So, technically, they owe us one

As citizens of a country, aren't we entitled to some benefits from the government. All the countries riches are collectively owned by all citizens. For this reason, we have every right to feel entitled to : good roads, hospitals, electricity etc.

Let's tell a Lil story.

Papa always told my elder brother that: "all the money I invest in your business, make sure you help your jnr brothers out when they graduate.i didn't send them to school to graduate and work for someone; I want them to become businessmen just like we are".

Years later, Papa died. I and jnr bro graduated from school. We looked up to big bro to help us start our own business just like he had promised father he would; sadly, big bro chose to get married and cater for his own family.

Now, is it wrong to feel entitled to get conceivable capital from big BRO? -- Of course not. Doesn't our big bro owe us a thing? -- of course he does.

The aim of this write-up is not to encourage laziness or the feeling of entitlement but to let y'all understand that sometimes, we can't help but feel entitled to some benefits - and we shouldn't be criticized for it.

If we think no one in this world owes us anything, then certainly we don't owe anyone anything either. wrong perception if you ask me.

CC: makydebbie
Farano
Ubunja
Capslocked
Lalasticlala
Rockstation
Queensuccubbus
Pocohantas
Lefulefu

swiz123:


When Someone helps us, we tend to naturally become indebted to them. When opportunity comes that we help them, we tend to feel obligated to help them back. That we chose not to help doesn't make it right; they chose to expect help from us because they helped us doesn't mean they are wrong.

I expect help from you doesn't mean I won't seek for other means if things goes south. But, there is nothing wrong in feeling entitiled to one's help. The problem comes when we choose to dwell on these feelings when the entitlement isn't forth-coming.

If you believe so much with your views, I fear you might be unruly compelled not to beg for help when need be.

austyn0:
I understand your point.....

But he made vital points using a family story....

It isn't a must you must be the giver and try not to expect a reciprocity,, but you are entitled to some mandatory expectancy...

makydebbie:


That family story sef ehn, I'll say we shouldn't depend or bank on family lol. Based on personal experience.


I understand your last statement but like I said, life is already unfair and not a bed of roses where we get what we want.

austyn0:
Yeah,, you are tryna be realistic,,,quite understandable.

makydebbie:
Yes dear.
Just trying to be on the safe side. I only need God in this life.

austyn0:
Yeah,, we all do....

You are gonna need a brother as well,, not just God

Windflower:
@op, From my own point of view and I would also cite some examples. The earlier one develops the mentality that no one owes you anything, the better even if they are people you have onced help. Its doesn't work that way
My dad sibling is very comfortable and lives outside the country, while her brother is struggling here. Now I don't have that mindset that she needs to render us any assistance cos truth be told I don't even want it. Mind you my dad helped her tru schooling and stood by her when her husband died. That asides my mum recently connected with a childhood friend of hers, of which she had helped before. She stays abroad now, mum approached her to help with loan to invest in her business. Do you know how much she got #20,000
I believe from this examples its enough to say you can't depend on anyone simply because you feel they owe you for your past deeds. I have this personal conviction more than ever that no one should feel obligated to help me just because of our relationship and that's why more than ever am determined to make it on my own, with Gods grace. Its better to be the one giving than the one asking. Trust me
I could remember a friend told me she needed money,I gave her the last money on me, only to discover that she had savings. Whereas me that gave her never had any but I did it because of her previous good deeds. Again its was my turn to ask for financial assistance and she said she doesn't have meaning her savings is a no go area.
Do I hold any grudges, Absolutely NO, its only buttress the fact that I don't owe anybody anything neither does anyone owe me anything. The only people am indebted to are my parents not even my siblings. If I am helping my siblings,then its would only be from the kindness of my heart.
Yoruba would say atelewo eni ki n tan eni je

makydebbie:


I agree with the part that, when someone helps us, we naturally become indebted to them. Now that I'm saying is, life is already unfair. Life has different twist and turns. You could help Mr A because you feel when you're in need, Mr A will be there for you, only to get disappointed because like I said, humans are unpredictable. So if I help the whole world, I'm going to do it because it's the right thing to do. And it's up to them to help. If you feel entitled all the time, you'll lose on many opportunities and get depressed in the long run.

Why wait for someone when you can do it yourself?

I'll beg for help, but I won't beg because I've once helped you before. I'll beg because I know you've what I need and could help me with it. But it's all up to you to help me out.

Sorry for my late reply, I'm currently at a poor network zone.

Apina:

Entitlement mentality is a state of mind in which an individual comes to believe that privileges are instead rights, and that they are to be expected as a matter of course

Entitlement and privilege are two sides of the same coin, while one applies to all d other is not for everybody. An Example is basic education; every child is Entitled to schooling up to your O Level, but not every child is Privileged to school at DOWEN college LEKKI which is the highest paying secondary school in Nigeria.

If you ever attended a government school or ever receieved free treatment from a government hospital and say " NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING" and use the tag "ENTITLED" then you must be naive cos by virtue of the "SOCIAL CONTRACT" and the fact that such entitlement exists, so many people owe you and you are ENTITLED.

Entitlement mentality is different from entitlement and should be frowned at. If I help you as a friend or sibling , then you are in one way or the other obligated to reciprocate such a gesture by virtue of the privilege of our friendship or whatever relationship we share.

opebiboy:
Funny how even rich people seek assistance amongst themselves and i am talking about billionaires. It is human nature. Nobody has it all. We all get helped everyday, financially or otherwise

swiz123:


That people choose not to help us doesn't mean they are right. That you choose not to help someone who once helped you doesn't mean you are right.

I helped you climb a ladder; I am definitely going to expect you to help me climb that ladder if need be. If you choose not to, I move on but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't expect help.

W'all have someone or some people we are obliged to. That's a fact about life.