Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,669 members, 7,955,436 topics. Date: Sunday, 22 September 2024 at 05:40 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home (91526 Views)
My Wife's Ex-Boyfriend Is About To Ruin My Marriage / Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad / "My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home" The True Story (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) ... (33) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Akexstinger(m): 3:20am On Jul 15, 2018 |
So many things you are not telling us. You are painting it as if your hubby refused to make input in the building. To me, i will fault you in the beginning, you betrayed his trust. You both had an agreement because his dad was seriously sick and needed to be flown outside the country for treatment. So he used part of the money for treatment and you used yours to purchase the land. On a normal day, since you both agreed on what to do with the money, you should have purchased the land using your name and your husband's name. And to prove that your husband is a good man, all through the years he never for once asked for documents or asked you whose name is on the document. You can imagine the level of trust he had in you. You bought the land and he did contributed financially and physically to the erection and finishing of that building and still didn't ask you for the document until the night when he, like every other Nigerian husband threaten their wife just to show "I am in charge " and you surprised him with "this is my house" Your marriage is crucial, your husband is a good man and you have confirmed that already. He has pride and I don't see how you two can live peacefully again with this grave damage. I don't think he can ever trust you wholeheartedly without suspecting you. That's why communication is always important. If you had told him right from the beginning " honey, since it's my money, I will buy the land in my name or our name " , you would have known his reaction or stance. The only solution is strictly business, change the owner to the the kids and if he doesn't want that, you people have to sit and calculate percentage contribution from you n him, then tell him to settle you and you transfer the document to him in his own name or you move on with the mindset that you can't have him back. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by vineyardfarms: 3:26am On Jul 15, 2018 |
PLS DON'T CHANGE THE DOCUMENTS, NO MATTER WHAT. RE - REGISTER THE HOUSE DOCUMENTS WITH THE COURT AND DEPOSIT THEM WITH THE BANK FOR SAFE KEEP. DON'T FALL FOR HIS CHEAP BLACKMAIL. ANY ATTEMPT YOU WILL BE ON THE STREET WITH YOUR CHILDREN. HE HAS NO REGARDS FOR HIS CHILDREN AND FAMILY TO HAVE ASKED YOU TO PACK - OUT. GIVE HIM SPACE OF TIME, LET TIME DECIDE. LASTLY, LET YOUR FAMILY KNOW AND MAKE FORMAL COMPLAINANT WITH THE AUTHORITY SHOULD HE SEEK TRANSFER OUT OF STATE FOR YOUR SAFETY. OR RENT OUT THE HOUSE LET HIM PAY RENT FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR FAMILY BUT NOT TO TRANSFER DOCUMENT. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Roycemadeit(m): 3:28am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall:this is why it's good to marry a wise woman, let him go he will come around and if he doesn't even for the kids then he is not suffering from egoism it's African mumuism. Weldome 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:29am On Jul 15, 2018 |
johhnnie:Well said The problem is mostly african born and raised we mix both traditional/cutural laws and constituation laws that end upnmessing up a simple issue Men use traditional laws to there advantages and women use constituation ones to get even From the onset everything was wrong u started a business together as couple (married), but u went to divide the profits as if u were just two partners of a business but you were also husband and wife. The profits was meant to be a family profit not to be broken into two. Traditionaly men were the ones mainly going out to work therefore properties were bought in the husband name etc and thats what he also believes but constituational law (in the event of a divorce) gives a share to a housewife even if she didnt contribute financially, she was the caretaker So in this case we have someone who want to use tradition to have the name on the house papers, and we have a couple who at one side are married people and the other side they act as strictly business partners My believe is when a couple start a business venture you are starting an empire for family i.e wife, husband and kids period !!! Not having individual goal between hubby and wife, you should have clear goals on running the business and what to use profit for Also other common phrase i have heard or seen here from nigerians “ i opened a business for my wife or whatever” You dont open business for wife but you open business as couple but it would be run by wife. What am trying to say is if you are married run business as a couple, know the books of the business etc though one would actaully running it in this case a wife. That way there is such thing as my money his money her money its family money Remember the outmate goal to start a business is to rich yourself, if married its to rich your family, hubby, wife and kids Family assets would be in family name, one common thing in our african tradition wealth is very rare passed on to kids, by tradition uncles usually take over assets etc they dissappear like water in desert, usually there are gready that nothing is looked after and handover to the orphans. Lets protect our hard earn wealth from gready uncles and brothers, put assets and money in family trust than letting tradition laws eat away what our kids should get from years of working or building your own small empire |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Roycemadeit(m): 3:30am On Jul 15, 2018 |
dingbang:this is one of the most stupid comment I ever saw on nl. What the hell is "snitch" ? Then use words they don't know |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by marv1: 3:33am On Jul 15, 2018 |
Your husband is calous and wicked. Imagine the house is in his name you would have been at the receiving end. Beg him as much as you can . If he insists move on with your life and your children. One day he will come back and realise his foolishness. However if you want to change the name make sure your Name appears on the property as Mr and Mrs Yetunde John . Your husband is a very selfish man. It's not pride it's is selfishness and greed. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Teesepp: 3:52am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall: Pls change it to Mr (his name) and Mrs (your name) and joint last name cos anybody can be Mrs*** May God keep your home 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by JAMESOJAY: 3:52am On Jul 15, 2018 |
Men should be careful about the type of women the get married to..her friends of her mother must have told her to do this The man will always be the head of the house. Now they built this house together why should her name be in the documents? If she wants her husband back and wants peace to rain she should change her name and replace it with her husbands name |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by CSTR1005: 4:04am On Jul 15, 2018 |
JAMESOJAY:Husband thought his wife was loyal. wife was building her own thing while husband was supervising the project like a fool. If she had used her children's names, it would still serve as security for her and her husband would not be that angry. And to make it worse, she told him as a sort of insult. The woman no wise at all. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by johhnnie(m): 4:09am On Jul 15, 2018 |
histemple: You are so right! That house can never be the same again! It will only take the grace of God. What I see here is a trusting man that felt betrayed. It would be worse if he had been told earlier to watch his back but refused to listen. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by femidly: 4:09am On Jul 15, 2018 |
I beg you dont make the mistake of changing it to his name. its a trap. Speaking from experience 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by ndindiatu: 4:15am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall:Are u here husband |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by ndindiatu: 4:19am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall:See here my friend since ur mumu button no get part two .Biko change the house to his name make we hear word. Don't come and disturb us here abeg. Make people wey never marry find partner with better article |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Encoreunltd(m): 4:20am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall: Don't give in to his demand. He can't have his cake and have it. Tell your people about everything (I mean no holds barred). Only God knows what he's planning right now. God forbid him trying to assasinate you cos to me he's callous. Focus on yourself and your kids for now. Make yourself happy and watch him eat his heart out. Our custom does not favour women but be smart not desperate to have him back. God is in your corner |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by XklusivGistBlog(m): 4:34am On Jul 15, 2018 |
You should be grateful to God the house is in your name, so he spent his money for his parents, and used your money to build the house,just imagine if the house was in his name? He would have thrown you out.... ma'am if he wants to go let him go, good riddance! Please do not change the name, every woman needs her security or else some sorry excuse of a man would matreat her. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by rule(m): 4:39am On Jul 15, 2018 |
you guys are missing the part she mentioned her husband also contributed in building the house, all these he didn't ask her whose name is on the documents until she revealed it, the Op knows what she did to drive her husband to the point of anger. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by kolawoleibukun2: 4:48am On Jul 15, 2018 |
No man with Good motives will kick his wife n kids out of a house they call home or ask his wife to change the ownership of a house to his name. You must fight for the interest of your kids first. Your husband has proved to you what he is capable of. You and your kids would end up in the street if you make one final mistake for selfish gains. Marriage is seldom doomed to fail. Do not ruin the lives of your kids. Secure that roof for their future. Let the man go if he wants to go. Hold on strong, dear sister. submission does not reflect on properties. As a matter of fact, many spouses who genuinely love each other sign prenups. The door is open if he wants to live with the family. He is probably tired of you. This is a huge sign for you. And check his moves, he may even assassinate you. Ensure that all the documents of the house are far from his reach. If he makes any mysterious move, make it open. Do not be anonymous. Get the police involved for your own safety. He is telling his own family, tell yours too. Some of your family members might see things from a shallow perspective all for the sake of their tradition and selfish protection of family name. Talk to modern experts, not old traditionalists. Marriage no be do or die, many women are doing fine being single or divorced. Avoid pastors and prayer warriors, cos' they will only push you to the man. Be strong and do not show your soft side for the sake of your kids. It is still his home if he sincerely needs his family. HEseesall: 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by emmasege: 4:53am On Jul 15, 2018 |
sholatech:Mr and Mrs should be well spelt out because another Mrs could surface tomorrow from the nes state he's seeking transfer to or from anywhere. I propose this as an example: MR DAVID JESSE AND MRS ABIGAIL JESSE. My one cent |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by ifexezim(m): 5:06am On Jul 15, 2018 |
I am not understanding, what could be wrong with his own parents that he will use an amount equivalent to owning a property on them? I think you should tell us that OK, because his parents are also yours. For them to consume such amount of funds, it shows they are in a critical conditions that requires high medical attention. If the above assertion is true, then he did well by saving the parents first, it would be selfish of you to solely acquirethe house on ur name. Of you do that, I doubt if he will ever show any support of any kind if your own parents which are also his should be in similar situation. For a successful family to continue be in peace, they should always have joint ownership all properties acquired by both . To me, I feel u are not being entirely honest or truthful here, he might be upset not because the house is on ur name but rather because you know how critical the situation was with his parents before he had to use the entire fund on them, then u went ahead to acquire it solely on ur own. Last last, look for a counselor to talk sense into him, forget family members, contact the likes of Bar Emeka Ugwuonye of the due process advocate. He for sure will talk sense into him, if he still refuse, then divorce is inevitable. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by maxti: 5:07am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall: He is a bad man DONT CHANGE IT. If you do, you will regret it |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Saao(m): 5:16am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall:from the onset, u don't trust your husband. I notice a trend in women nowadays, you provoke men then run to social media to say nonsense about them just for sympathy. I want all you to remember, God will judge all of us some days. Nigerians husbands take care of their home and can do anything to provide, protect and preserve his home but some of you women really needs to learn to be mother to all, learn to be women who can handle her men. my advice to you is to change the name to his name, I know you won't like this but that's the right thing to do. do you know you belong to your husband and he owned you? either you or your kids are his next of kin so still belong to all of you. he felt betrayed by your act. every man want respect and that's want made a good home. your children are learning you, don't destroy your home because of property. after all when you don't have property did he chase you out? anyone that supported you want to ruin your home and take away the joy of a father from your kids. I personally know the pains of a broken home cuz I experienced as a child and it traumatized me till date even as an adult, don't do it to your children. change the name to your husband name even let him through all of u out but I know he won't. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by xtervaganza(m): 5:24am On Jul 15, 2018 |
A lot of you guys don't understand what's happening here. They built the house together! As in the money from the business didn't build the house, it probably purchased the land and other stuffs. The house was built by them both. Why then did she have only her name on it? And why did he want to kick his wife out? I hope you guys resolve all this cos it does appear like you have a good, stable family which is very hard to find these days |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by mechanics(m): 5:25am On Jul 15, 2018 |
dingbang:Easy, so you will be happy if her husband send her out of the house abi? |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by swedex: 5:28am On Jul 15, 2018 |
well since he doesn't went mr n Mrs on the document you can change the name to your children names and also take it up with a legal practitioner that under no circumstance will anybody lay claim on this property until your children are 18yrs and able to take decisions themself.... period! I wish you goodluck!! |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by TemitayoDaniel: 5:30am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall:.... Don't think changing the name will make him happy as a matter of fact, you just shot yourself. Men will always be men. Pls let him be |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by NickD(m): 5:31am On Jul 15, 2018 |
HEseesall:Let him go, when he's done sulking he'll return if he wants. Reeks of Immaturity on his part. Do not ever change the name on the documents else you're a gunner. He should be thanking his stars he has a responsible wife like you. I have a friend whose mum has several businesses and buildings all over Lagos in her name, his dad has never made a fuss about it. If your husband is embittered he should build another one so you all can move in there and then rent the current place out. In as much as I know you don't wanna lose your home but IMO he's just acting the male entitlement part. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by lala45: 5:33am On Jul 15, 2018 |
Why should she change it ti his name,so in future,the guy will tell her to move,neveruote author=HRHQueenPhil post=69371645]wow, dis is serious 1. invite ur pastor or someone he highly respects and a lawyer. 2. kneel down and beg him in their midst and ask d lawyer 2 change it 2 his name.( this is if u want peace} now, if u are scared he would turn around and throw u out l8a, 1. call a lawyer and file for a divorce 2. sell d house, invest d money and move 2 a smaller house It is well with u[/quote] |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by lala45: 5:37am On Jul 15, 2018 |
[pls don't change it to his name,i beg you in the name of God,some are very stupid,infact remove the original and take it to another place before he gains access to ituote author=HEseesall post=69373042] You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property[/quote] |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Queenext: 5:39am On Jul 15, 2018 |
He's a greedy man...simple |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by JoannaSedley(f): 5:39am On Jul 15, 2018 |
marttol:Christian blackmailer. Tell that to billions of other people that adheres to other faith. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Layizo: 5:39am On Jul 15, 2018 |
firstly, thank God you still have your �, coz I wonder what would have happened if the property is in his name.i want to presume you were at fault to what led to all these situation. my dear pls don't change the name on the property no matter what pressure or advices you get. he has been staying in your house and so what? nobody knew this until now. see it that you had his back when he couldn't use his head. 'that's marriage' if you still love him and ready to let go what led to the *heated argument. don't stop begging but don't change the name o. I repeat don't change the name. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by lala45: 5:40am On Jul 15, 2018 |
[remove the document.uote author=HEseesall post=69373285] When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, at least i compromised for jointly, [/quote] |
(1) (2) (3) ... (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) ... (33) (Reply)
My Friend Is Sleeping With His 13-Year-Old Daughter / How My 10-year-old Demonic House Girl Was Having Sex With My 2-year-old Son / Why This Oyinbo Married A Nigerian Lady
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 117 |