Zoharariel:


Thank you my brother. The fact that the wife never told us in her narrative that the husband contributed to the building of that house shows how dishonest she is.

If I were in ExtraExtra shoes, I swear to Sango & Obatala, I would never take this woman back no matter what happens - because I can never EVER trust her again.

I would try as much as possible to build my own house, marry another lady & move on.

Mr. ExtraExtra, Do not even make a mistake of allowing your wife know your new location, let-alone visiting you. You can take the financial responsibilities of your children & visit them once in a while.

The little children on this thread advising you to salvage your marriage are illusionists.

Take my advice ONLY if you intend to live long!

That is why i say the woman is a sneaky snitch..she paints the picture as the victim without saying everything..These women ehn..if you dont put your feet down strongly you will be yeyerised before you know it.lol

naob:
Na wa o. Well, let me say this:

While I don't fault you for using the money for your parents, I partially do for asking her to leave the house, since you knew that you didn't build it with your money ONLY.

Now, your wife truly knows how to cook-up a story. She neglected to mention that she insulted your family, a very serious offense in my book. I know I won't take it easy with any woman that insults any member of my family (that's why your action may be a bit justified, because it was probably said in the heat of anger).

But seriously, I see no reason you shouldn't have seen the documents before now. No excuse is justifiable!

I retract my comment in the previous post.

He trusted her completely. Again, a man owning a house isn't the reason for 'leave my house'. It's not always what is meant. It's used by men who don't hit their woman in the heat of an argument.

NoToPile:


Nope HE should let pride go but with the way he wrote the 'ONLY' on the initial post and that her putting it in her name only belittles him so I think putting the name in his name ONLY will 'un-bellitle' him

Well he has decided that she should not change the name which is good enough

He should go and settle with his wife jare, but this one family will begin to chook mouth.... those that have believed it is 'our son' that owns the house that alone can cause another big issue with the family resenting wifey.

And for the aproko cousin ehn...

Yes oo,....Him better go settle wit d woman,...grah grah wil nt help.

He shld jst put pride aside, i believe she loves him......infact, dey love each other. & are evn blessed wit kids. Dey shld settle, u knw women dey lyk petting, wit tym,...on her own she might even decide to change d name on d document n reinstate it to d both of dem properly.

Anyways, dey shld allow Love Lead d way!!

I think It's high time Verbal abuse in relationships is looked more into. These form of abuse is a phantom clone of physical abuse........... the effects of verbal abuse are well capable of shortening one's lifespan, provoking violence, extreme damage to self worth/ confidence, aggravating Psychological and even physical illness. It's just because the scars are not visible, that's why people get away with it.
A man physically abuses a woman and causes a minor bruise which heals in max 5 days is ostracized by the society and risks Jail. Whereas a woman verbally attacks a Man, affecting is psyche, which impacts on his office job negatively, he loses his job.................. More verbal attack, he sinks into depression......... and nothing happens to that kind of woman!!.

Women and the world at large should know that, coz the scars of verbal abuse are not visible does not mean they are not worse than Physical form .
An Argument could say why don't you just attack back verbally........ but same could be said of physical attack which ridicules the argument coz a specific gender is naturally better skilled in each form of attack


If racial slurs or sexual remarks can be punished coz of the effect on one's psyche, I think it's high time Authorities puts forward a law that Punishes spouse for words that try to provoke violence or berates one's spouse esteem

I see no reason a wife will be concerned about having a property on her name if not insecurity. If you feel insecure, Satan must test you with this kind of temptation. It will fill your ego with the thought that "nothing will happen if I do this or say that, " "after all I am secured. You may turn a Good husband to a bad man unknowingly, properties are nothing to a man. If you respect your husband you will always have them.

Acidosis:


The marriage was built on a faulty foundation: The idea of my money, your money, I will spend my money on this, you will spend your own on that . weakened the marriage. No love relationship can function on that platform. It is a mere partnership, and partnerships are bound to break someday.

For some selfish reasons (not love), a lot of couples have embraced this system. This is not entirely bad as far as OP and his spouse share the same ideology about marriage and properties.

As far as marriage is concerned in my own school of thought, all receipts must be in the name Mr. & Mrs (except those gotten before marriage). It doesn't matter who bought them or who paid the children's school fees, it doesn't matter whether you married a sit at home wife or a career woman.

If my wife decides to embrace some selfish interests or make plans for my demise, then she's merely wasting her time. In my lineage, only my grandfather died "prematurely" at age 96. The house he left behind is currently wasting away cos grandmom at age 95+ don't need it anymore. All she does now is sleep and eat. The only way a selfishly acquired property would meet the intended purpose is when a spouse die prematurely (- now this is the message we preach).

@OP, whether in her name or not, if you both see yourselves together in year 2070, there wouldn't be a fight in the first place. However to avoid issues of any form, buy everything in the name - Mr & Mrs and save your marriage.

Bros, na how many mouth only you get nau? See as you dey shift blame up and down. At first, you technically blamed the woman for the whole brouhaha. Now, you're faulting the foundation of the marriage. Just say the truth, the man no try at all. It's obvious he's trying to cheat the woman period. Any other thing is tantamount to speaking from both sides of the mouth.

It's funny how men can easily open their mouth to utter words like; 'It's over between us'. 'Get out of my house'. Which kind yeye statement be that one? Shuo!

mark2sunny:


He trusted her completely. Again, a man owning a house isn't the reason for 'leave my house'. It's not always what is meant. It's used by men who don't hit their woman in the heat of an argument.

sharrap.

He asked her to leave the house, and only moved out when he realised that he wasn't legally entitled to kick her out of the house.

Why do you think he's now asking for the deeds of the house to be transferred to his name only?

folly22:
They made the mistake from the beginning, why should they split the money into equal half, they should have sat down and the man only took part of it for his dad's treatment while they start the building with the remaining. The way the money was shared shows they are free to do anything with their money and it's their personal stuff. That is my view anyway

You are sensible

utenwuson:
what the hell u talking about...

the man is simply a man that knows his responsibilities, he's working hard, he's got the love of his parents at heart,

the ladies was lucky to be born with a silver spoon, so she should throw tantrums at him reminding him if his poor parents, background and all families and u want him to fold his arms and laugh, ant man who takes such rubbish from a woman is a disgrace to men and a total sisi

So in other words she should give the man sole ownership of the house she built with her lions share?!. If he doesn't agree to joint ownership then he should go to hell!! Such effrontery!

Respect55:

It's obvious u r frustrated. I can help u.

interesting. How do you suppose you could help me?

keepingmum:
The foolish pride and arrogance your wife described off ur character is evident in your write up.

You always comment like a fool, A bitter feminist that has been hurt to death. May God heal your bruised soul.

declaro:
Husband and wife with children should not have properties in their name separately. It should be in their children's name, if any of them have problem with the marriage then he or she should leave the properties for the children. We should be more concerned for the children, parents should put them first before themselves.

I see no reason a wife will be concerned about having a property on her name if not insecurity. If you feel insecure, Satan must test you with this kind of temptation. It will fill your ego with the thought that "nothing will happen if I do this or say that, " "after all I am secured. You may turn a Good husband to a bad man unknowingly, properties are nothing to a man. If you respect your husband you will always have them.

Bros, abeg pass me that thing wey you dey smoke wey make you dey mistype. Why on earth should one register his property in his children's name? Children that might decide to sell it while the parent is still alive? Abeg no repeat that statement o.


Just like I advised a friend who just had a baby out of wedlock, she was like I'll struggle, make money and give my baby the best life. Then I asked her, you nko? Have you given up on yourself? You haven't completed your education talk less of living your dreams, na your 1 month old baby you wan give the best life. Which kind play be that one?

My point is, everyone has their life to live. Nobody should be a cog in the wheel to another person's progress under any guise; be it marriage or parenthood. Last last, it is all man for himself o.

Nihilstjnr:
God has given this woman a very clear route out of a clearly one-sided relationship.

She would be very stupïd to even consider reconciling with this thief, not to speak of actually adding his name to the documentation.

Are u a divorcee?

keepingmum:
The foolish pride and arrogance your wife described off ur character is evident in your write up.

shut up.the woman said that,her husband is a good man.point out in the story where she said that her husband is arrogant or keep quiet

CASTOSVILLA:




My brother, my response below was exactly what I told your wife. I might not be grounded on the case at hand (I don't want to be though) but my little observation and likely imagination of things was what I honestly aired out. I pray that the almighty God will settle this case and bring a lasting solution, peace and tolerance between you guys. Go back to your wife bro, stay married to her and remember your vows.



CASTOSVILLA :
Madam I don't know your full story but your own side of the story is quite faulty. "He used his own part of the money" that statement is so wrong for a married couple. You guys are not business partners, you guys are ONE body now not 2 separate bodies. The money, belongs to both of you and the children. Gushhh!!! are guys having trust issues or what as a couple husband and wife aren't supposed to be sharing spoils rather they build on it. You never mentioned where he build the supposed "his parent's" house. Is it in the village or in the city. If it's in the village then that house is not his parents house rather it's your family house in the village for Christmas celebrations and fortunately, his parents/ your second parents are enjoying from your goodwill. Then the almighty "Your own share". There's has never been a share for you or him, it's still all of your money. Whatever it's used for is own by both of you and the kids. All properties should be in Mr & Mrs. That house is not only yours simple. Saying that he doesn't want to agree to the terms of changing the name to Mr & Mrs as a reply to a comment shows that you never suggested it in reality. Please apologize to your husband because I think you've not done that properly, change that name to Mr & Mrs ASAP and delete this thread you used to get seek for cheap sympathy.

The husband n wife have already told u that they shared the money 50/50

[quote author=cruchenutii post=69566338]

Naaaa, how can you even think like this. He wanted to defraud her? How? Are they not supposed to be couples?

I'm not saying he did wrong by asking her to leave the house which is the typical African mentality Man would do, but to say he wanted to defraud her is far fetched please. Also note that the Man is from a less richer home & also the First born, the responsibilities are a lot. Both made a lot mistakes, Instead of you to focus on that, you mainly focused on the Man defrauding her.


You are economical with the truth. Because he is the firstborn now he should abandon his family? What if the wife didn't bring the business in the first place, will he go and borrow to fly his dad abroad for treatment because of the firstborn that he is? Then he also built a house for them when he has not built one for his family. Why couldn't he build the house for his family and bring his dad to come and stay with him pending the time he have enough to put up a structure for him ?

You see, he deliberately did that because he new his wife was willing to release her share for the building project but he didn't know that the woman will be wise enough to do the documents in her own name.

Nihilstjnr:


sharrap.

He asked her to leave the house, and only moved out when he realised that he wasn't legally entitled to kick her out of the house.

Why do you think he's now asking for the deeds of the house to be transferred to his name only?

Is this Airborne....

You are saying the things I didn't have the liver to say initially.

I really wish to ask the OP this question...

Oga, are you a thief?

PrecisionFx:


Are u a divorcee?

nope.

MizMyColi:


Is this Airborne....

You are saying the things I didn't have the liver to say initially.

I really wish to ask the OP this question...

Oga, are you a thief?

at all.

that's Griffon

Nihilstjnr:


nope.

so why are u easily urging for an end to someone's marriage as if it's just a bf n gf relationship between primary 4 pupils?

Nihilstjnr:


at all.

that's Griffon

I know nau. I also know he's a huge fan of nihilist.
Didn't know there were two of you, or more, I suppose.

PrecisionFx:

Stop being a very stewpiid person.

Are u married with 6 children? Good.
Don't tell ur wife to pack her bags n leave and don't even tell her to leave the room I share together, talk more of the house. Olodo anu offia.

See dis one....

U're nt married,...u knw notin abt marriage.

Soon dey wil reconcile ok. Dats d beauty of marriage, wen olofofo lyk u dey wish mk dem scatter wit ur comment wey no gt head.

Learner!!

mark2sunny:


You are sensible

Sincerely it shows how they run their home right from time. May be they always lay claim to their possessions. Some men you can't touch their car, even wen they are looking for the car key, they will be shouting dear do you know where MY car key is
A reasonable woman could even give up all in order to take care of the husband's dad under an ideal condition or part of it and it will still bear both names but in this case, they have shared it. What are we now talking about

PrecisionFx:


so why are u easily urging for an end to someone's marriage as if it's just a bf n gf relationship between primary 4 pupils?

not all marriages are worth saving. This one is a clear example.

Evathyst:
Bros, abeg pass me that thing wey you dey smoke wey make you dey mistype. Why on earth should one register his property in his children's name? Children that might decide to sell it while the parent is still alive? Abeg no repeat that statement o.


Just like I advised a friend who just had a baby out of wedlock, she was like I'll struggle, make money and give my baby the best life. Then I asked her, you nko? Have you given up on yourself? You haven't completed your education talk less of living your dreams, na your 1 month old baby you wan give the best life. Which kind play be that one?

My point is, everyone has their life to live. Nobody should be a cog in the wheel to another person's progress under any guise; be it marriage or parenthood. Last last, it is all man for himself o.

Anyway, you are right.

Platony:


See dis one....

U're nt married,...u knw notin abt marriage.

Soon dey wil reconcile ok. Dats d beauty of marriage, wen olofofo lyk u dey wish mk dem scatter wit ur comment wey no gt head.

Learner!!

True o. Very true.
Married couples quarrel like the marriage will end the next minute, but if you now see them loved up, you will be somehow regretting why you shook mouth in their palava.

Hehehehehehe.

I am happier for them if they rise above this issue.
At least some of our comments here will be instrumental in resetting their brains.

MizMyColi:


I know nau. I also know he's a huge fan or nihilist.
Didn't know there were two of you, or more, I suppose.

my main account got locked for good because Seun decided to block all accounts opened with temporary emails.

I've been using this one ever since

Nihilstjnr:


not all marriages are worth saving. This one is a clear example.

And who are u to advocate that a marriage having a small issue should not be saved?

Ikpongiton:
shut up.the woman said that,her husband is a good man.point out in the story where she said that her husband is arrogant or keep quiet

Dnt mind dem,.......

A whole bunch of mofos dat knws notin abt marriage or didn't read d first article which she posted, wil jst be spewing thrash.

Soon d hubby & wifey wil reconcile, dat i knw for sure becos frm der both write ups, dey stil luv each oda.

D mata no reach anywer!!, Na beans!!

Nihilstjnr:


my main account got locked for good because Seun decided to block all accounts opened with temporary emails.

I've been using this one ever since

So you are my Guapo..or....

Platony:


See dis one....

U're nt married,...u knw notin abt marriage.

Soon dey wil reconcile ok. Dats d beauty of marriage, wen olofofo lyk u dey wish mk dem scatter wit ur comment wey no gt head.

Learner!!

"" Soon dey wil reconcile ok. Dats d beauty of marriage, wen olofofo lyk u dey wish mk dem scatter wit ur comment wey no gt head.""




It seems u are bipolar.

Point out where I said they shouldn't reconcile.

Point out where I wished them to scatter.

Ezigbote Nkapi ala ka ibu

PrecisionFx:


And who are u to advocate that a marriage having a small issue should not be saved?

and who are you to question my opinion? if you don't have anything relevant to say, just keep it moving.

The man himself, apart from being a thief, has already moved out of the house, and is in the process of moving to a different state....and is literally demanding a house as the price of continued marriage.

I hope for her sake, that the woman is more sensible than you...