VULCAN:
Was it on purpose that you ignored what he recounted about the help he has given to his wife and her family so far(knowing that he would have done much more but space will not allow him itemise them all)?

Or your eyes just went straight to a statement he made to his wife which is a normal response to their excessive demands and expectations from him?

donstan18:
Mr man, you are the one troubling and driving yourself crazy for not being able to know where your problem is coming from.

First; Your wife didn't do anything to warrant a divorce, she didn't cheat, disrespect or commit any abomination. We should sometime view things from different angles before taking actions, you know how difficult it is for a woman to stop her family members from coming close to her husband, she MIGHT not be happy with what they are doing, but in a bid to stop them will have it look like she's pushing them away from you and might create problems. So I ask "HAVE YOU DISCUSSED THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR WIFE?"

The rate of entitlement mentality from wives and their families is something else in Nigeria. Reason why we should be wise and careful before getting married.

Stop running around, discuss this issue with your wife, if she's a good woman, she'll understand you and do whatever it'll take to keep you happy and relaxed by sketching a strategy with you, but if she tries to give attitude about your complaint, then you'll have to go rude and aggressive to let her know what is as stake(Divorce, for her to marry her family members so that you'll have peace).


Discuss with her first.

apeleone:
Divorce should not be your next line of action,call your wife to order. She has to choose between building a new family with you or sticking to her biological parents. For your in-law make provision for him to leave over the weekend with a standing order that visitors/family can be welcomed on invitation.

Ikpongiton:
bad woman,you want to snatch him from his wife.home breaker .

e7ejinima:


Your wife's family has formed an unhealthy circle around you.

- the young fellow arrives town without informing you, calls for you to come pick him (are you his driver?), you shun him and your wife powers abusive txts (is that how she's brought up? Who's in charge Here!?), she informs his father who then calls you with more abusive language...(what do they take you for - their factory worker or domestic hand?). Your father inlaw has not right calling you when he did not inform you earlier that his child was heading to your station. A lot also depends on how you respond to their stupidity. Be stern and call his bluff.

You should focus on breaking this circle, which they take as the norm because you have allowed certain patterns to be established earlier.

Call your wife first and establish a new family order that accommodates only you two and your children, if any. Declare that you don't want to relate directly with her people, that should be her duty as relating with your own family is your duty.

Finally bare your mind to her that failure to curb the current unhealthy pattern of interference in your family life can hurt your marriage to her.

Abeg, just to complete our knowledge and learning....pls is that your wife from Mbaise or anywhere in Imo State? Cos that's how they behave

sexy74:

I agree with what you said except the bolded ones, the wife is not different from her family members, its a family thing based on the way they are brought up.
In the part of divorce its always a last resort especially when one of the parties does not want to shift grounds and life is under threat. So if he is facing any of this, better he comes out from this alive than die in it.

Equal2DeTask:




Will I still marry?.

oruma19:
Go and sit down and stop the noise, u v been a foolish man from inception. its men like u that would have driven their family members away because of ordinary toto. Men who behave like the poster are those stupid spirikoko guys that never dated before they got married, so when they managed to date and see toto they start acting like nothing else matters in life. idiot face ur problem and stop disturbing us because we were not there when u chased ur family members away to please ur wife and her family. Enjoy the useless marriage that u entered. thunder fire u if u post anythin on nairaland again. mtchwwww (Didnt anyone else notice he neva talked about his own family? its becos he chased them away to please his wife...man wey neva see toto before..toto will kill u..lol

ImaIma1:


I like men like you...firm and in control.

But please do not be too harsh on her. Know whem to bend and allow

Equal2DeTask:



Will I still marry?.

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

Equal2DeTask:




Will I still marry?.

Equal2DeTask:




Will I still marry?.

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

Maxvasia:
I am surprised no one quoted this horrendous comment of urs. Presumption from the depths of LAWMA thrash! I had to go back to read the post cos wen I read ur comment, it made me wonder if i read it at all at first. Is there any part of the post that suggested he is spending money on other women? U just conveniently remixed the post to suit the modus operandi of ur saliva filled brain. Next time read well or if u cannot read at all, just keep it moving. I am sure u are a female cos no man would show so much abysmal imbecility/lunacy.

JONNYSPUTE:
This is one of the problems most married men make in their early marriages. Trying to please ur in-laws at all times will only make them see you as a sissy.My in-laws tried that rubbish I walked them out of my house and even banned them from coming unless its something official or a get together like thanksgiving or child dedication. I don't visit them but I call them once in a while just to know how they are faring. My wife is not happy about that but just to let her understand my kind of person I equally asked my people not to visit my home except on special occasions too. Since your wife is supporting them,do not even think of divorcing her,stay put in Abuja,don't even bother contacting her but send money for upkeeps to her account directly and keep the evidence. If her brain didn't reset,forget about her she will be the one that will divorce you and by doing such,she will fall into her own trap. Do not abandon ur kids,always provide for them but I repeat don't you ever visit her or call any of her relatives on phone. They will look for u for peace. Its not going to be easy but be a man. If she is truly ur wife,she will come for you.

Unclesamo:


Read his other Nairaland posts

Themandator:


Never harsh to her . It is just that She is too soft and prone to their manipulations. She is the type that wants to solve everybody's problem. I love her and I have never laid hands on her but when it comes to her family, I got to be firm..they made her lie to me once all because she wants to help them



This guy should go to a park ad call that his inlaw to take a Uber or a chartered cab to meet there. Hollla at him there at the park, finish him there in public and put him in a bus back to where ever he came from.

happney65:
Am newly married and my wife cannot tell me nonsense..She just can't. .I still wonder where Nigerian Ladies get this attitude of getting married and expecting the Husband to pull you out of poverty. .urself and your family..As in are you people stupid or something?

I told my wife my responsibility is to you and my Kids alone..If tomorrow you decided to change i won't hesitate to give you a divorce..I don't care and I don't give a damm..Nobody fit kill me..

Luckily for her you are married into a liberal family where my family won't disturb you so why should urs disturb me?Why?

The OP is a mumu and has been taking responsibility for the lady and her family even before they got married..Am sure of that..I see no reason why that should be..

My Father in law Sef I don't have his number..The highest number I gave him till date is 5000naira..

You should be happy I am marrying your daughter Naa and taking bills off ur neck..Some wives will even do it to the extent whereby you won't give ur family anything again just cos you are married to them..

I wonder where you people see these girls.I just wonder where

Equal2DeTask:



Will I still marry?.

hope4nigeria:
remember that game on android RUN.
don't divorce her, just run, when your wife brain reset, she will choose who to marry between you and her family. Abandon her for like a year, if she love you for real, she will become normal again and stop involving family in marriage. Most women behaving this way are clean and young women who endup marrying their 1st love, they lack experience about marriage

Rushmore:

You can choose to ignore her,do any other thing but not divorce. And never you switch off your phone to avoid calls from family, it's childish. Be an alpha male! Make a decree and stand on it! You're a lion and not a chicken!

GrammarCheck:


But he is correct.

Equal2DeTask:




Will I still marry?.

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.