You shouldn't have given them the car key.

It's quite sad that OP married from a family that sees marriage as poverty alleviation program.

First of all, I don't think your wife's family started this intrusion into your life and your family; you gave them that hands. So you need to cut short that hands.

Secondly, you need to set a "how-it-works-in-my-house" kind of an order in your home and stand by it as Buhari's Aide De Camp stand at his back always. Be stern and never look face.

Thirdly, I need you to have a heart-to-heart talk with you wife. Tell her that you don't like how her family intrudes into you people's privacy and lives, make her understand that it must stop. Act with immediate alacrity.

To furthermore, let your FIL know that your home is your and nobody else's home so he don't have any atom or even molecule of right to tell how you gonna run your home. And,



Lastly, let me go and buy umbrella the rain in Onitsha this morning has beaten me mercilessly and e no wan even stop sef Eye yam so wet right now




OP, e go be nah

Rushmore:

You can choose to ignore her,do any other thing but not divorce. And never you switch off your phone to avoid calls from family, it's childish. Be an alpha male! Make a decree and stand on it! You're a lion and not a chicken!

what is this one saying... Alpha male when they are making him look like a female... It's clear that the woman and the family feel they are in control of him because of him trying to make the marriage work... They take his generosity for weakness.. He better draw the line now or he is gonna be trapped and they gonna take over him

Weak guy... ya fada there.

I think you are still d girl husband due to ur financial support bt my brother if you go broke na d girl go divorce you

The worst thing that can ever happen to any married man is to marry from a bad family. They turn your life into Lagos traffic .May God save us all from evil family.

You know what? running from your place of resident or relocating as said won't change nothing, I think you didn't study her that much before marrying her, beside if you relocate and you have your wife with you, you should know that you still have the problem with you, she's like the monitoring spirit sent after you and her people..... I just pray you overcome soon... as for me I think you should run for your life.

Y should he run? He should discuss with his wife n get her opinion on things.
If the woman is siding with her family then he can now set limits and give ultimatums.
But in the other hand if its by the family's grace that he became successful...then he should cut them some slack.

cujusELK:
run bro

I won't forget a stern warning/advice from a senior manager telling me to abstain pleasing my in-laws. He shared a touching story of his life and how it has caused him personal development and marital success.

It's a very complicated situation and this is not the time for blame game.

Tell your wife to pick between you and her family. If she picks you, once again inform her your T&C. If she refuses to change, don't divorce her but take a break. You can best till relocate to a new location in FCT without letting her and her family know your residence.

I believe after a while, sense will sink into her head your importance and the decision to detach herself from her parasitic family.

donstan18:
Mr man, you are the one troubling and driving yourself crazy for not being able to know where your problem is coming from.

First; Your wife didn't do anything to warrant a divorce, she didn't cheat, disrespect or commit any abomination. We should sometime view things from different angles before taking actions, you know how difficult it is for a woman to stop her family members from coming close to her husband, she MIGHT not be happy with what they are doing, but in a bid to stop them will have it look like she's pushing them away from you and might create problems. So I ask "HAVE YOU DISCUSSED THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR WIFE?"

The rate of entitlement mentality from wives and their families is something else in Nigeria. Reason why we should be wise and careful before getting married.

Stop running around, discuss this issue with your wife, if she's a good woman, she'll understand you and do whatever it'll take to keep you happy and relaxed by sketching a strategy with you, but if she tries to give attitude about your complaint, then you'll have to go rude and aggressive to let her know what is as stake(Divorce, for her to marry her family members so that you'll have peace).


Discuss with her first.

She abused him cos of her brother !!

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

Abeg call her family members and ur family to order in a meeting with your wife, and let dem know ur stance, otherwise throw her bleeping ass out so dey can learn their lesson. I don't take nonsense as a man! I was currently experiencing this as my mum in law would keep pop nosing in our home, until April this year when I told her to her face to leave us alone. She tried popnosing again two days ago, and I refused answering all her 5 calls to my phone, telling her daughter( my wife) to inform her dt I deliberately ignored the calls so she could mind her business. I don't bloody care.

call your wife in order. give order and ensure that such order is obeyed. Dont ever spend money on your inlaws. it is only when you refuse to offer any help that they will know you meant the business.

Goodluck in saving your marriage

my broda you talk this one ooo... you know what he got there? it's like a bad tyre of a car and you refuse to change when you have a spare... say make I just manage am.... omo she's like a bad tyre and need to be change thanks my own opinion.

Rushmore:

You can choose to ignore her,do any other thing but not divorce. And never you switch off your phone to avoid calls from family, it's childish. Be an alpha male! Make a decree and stand on it! You're a lion and not a chicken!

Rushmore:

You can choose to ignore her,do any other thing but not divorce. And never you switch off your phone to avoid calls from family, it's childish. Be an alpha male! Make a decree and stand on it! You're a lion and not a chicken!

fine geh,,, afar na

You don't need to file for divorce yet. The problem is from both you and your wife.

First, while trying to please your wife and impress your in-laws, you over indulged them from the beginning (maybe during the marriage). They now have the feeling that you have the money, and so, MUST SPEND IT ON THEM (as if you don't have a family you came from.

Second, the woman you married HAVE NOT COME TO APPRECIATE WHAT IT MEANS TO START A NEW HOME. She and her family still think that your own HOME (FAMILY) is an extension of theirs. You need to clear the doubt.

Solution: Be a man, let them know in clear terms that they're not WORKING FOR YOU and as such, not be expecting pays from you. You must discuss with your wife and as a man, MAKE A FIRM DECISION of what both extended families are entitled to AT THE END OF THE YEAR (unless there is an emergency).

If your wife feels otherwise, then, you have to RENEGOTIATE THE UNION.
It's not easy bro, I've been there. Be strong,, you'll pull it through.

am not married yet.

transfer frm lagos to abuja is still close.
u shud ve transferred to adamawa or sokoto. since u want distance to barricade u frm them

it's well what a pathetic situation, call your wife and hear what have to say.

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

DIVORCE IS NEVER THE SOLUTION. YOU HAVE SUCEEEDED IN SETTING A NEW STANDARD FOR YOURSELF BY NOT PICKING HIM UP FROM THE PARK. NOW THE NEWS WILL SPREAD LIKE VIRUS BUT IF YOU CAN STAND YOUR GROUND YOU WILL SUCEED. AFTER THE EPISODE YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR WIFE IN ORDER AND SPELL OUT YOUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS.

OP... I dey around Utako, if u need help, PM me.. or I fit visit give u better advice. Cheers

Op, you laid foundation to your problem, as a married man the leg you have your wife is what she stands with. If you never allowed your in-laws Into your family from onset, they won't have seen your brokus. Better speak like a man and free your self from them. If your wife does play a negative attitude to that, fire her but for now divorce is not the step.
Me, If not for an official purpose, I have nothing to do with my in-laws. I don't call nor even visit, I choose to be seen as a bad inlaws than bn used as a house boy.
Remember, When the black ant stings the buttocks, next time it [buttocks] learns wisdom.

Anything can make u to divorce ur wife is if only she cheat on u or she don't hv respect for u,so in dis case u hv d right to take any decision u want.

I still can't understand nairalanders and this "sit down and discuss" thing. so you think this man have not done that severally? or you think he just woke up one morning and decide to relocate to Abuja without trying to fix things first? Even after reading it from the post that he's told his wife many times to adjust some hypocrites still keep on saying he should sit her down and talk.

OP at this point in your life, your sanity and peace of mind is all that should matter.

my bro if there is anyway u can help those your inlaw,do it.after that warn them to stay away from ur family.with that u can clear ur mind.divorce is not an option now.think twice

Bro be a man and stand your ground. You don't meddle with her people's personal affairs so why should they trample over you? It's either your wife realizes both of you are one & get with building your marriage and new family (priority first); or she goes back to where her heart is.

donstan18:
Mr man, you are the one troubling and driving yourself crazy for not being able to know where your problem is coming from.

First; Your wife didn't do anything to warrant a divorce, she didn't cheat, disrespect or commit any abomination. We should sometime view things from different angles before taking actions, you know how difficult it is for a woman to stop her family members from coming close to her husband, she MIGHT not be happy with what they are doing, but in a bid to stop them will have it look like she's pushing them away from you and might create problems. So I ask "HAVE YOU DISCUSSED THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR WIFE?"

The rate of entitlement mentality from wives and their families is something else in Nigeria. Reason why we should be wise and careful before getting married.

Stop running around, discuss this issue with your wife, if she's a good woman, she'll understand you and do whatever it'll take to keep you happy and relaxed by sketching a strategy with you, but if she tries to give attitude about your complaint, then you'll have to go rude and aggressive to let her know what is as stake(Divorce, for her to marry her family members so that you'll have peace).


Discuss with her first.

Bro read the write up again and u will see that the wife even sent him an abusive text according to him.

That means she's in the league with her family members.

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

D BIGGEST MISTAKE MOST MEN DO B4 MARRIAGE IS DAT DEY DON'T TRY N SPEND MORE TIME WITH THE FAMILY OF THE WOMAN DEY R ABOUT TO MARRY.

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

give her your last warning if she dosen't change, then move on with your life

My brother it's called marriage not manage cos forever is a long way down. I was faced with same but I called it quit only that I was just engaged. Nothing pass peace of mind.

Some families get wahala, tell the father his son can go to hell.

To think you are a man and can't set your priorities straight or stand your ground is very disappointing.

Please inform your people to call that crazy father in-law to order except you have been very stingy to your people n generous to her family.

And for the fool that travelled all the way from Lagos to Abuja is all your fault. It shows the height of control they have over your foolishness