She Will Change, Don't Think Of A Divorce

daveson07:
that is wot i tot,bt it's having a negative effect on me

Go and get your wife back. There's no joy in divorce especially as there's no evidence of extra marital affair.

Settle it with her.

You need to report her to elders in her family.

How about moving away from the vicinity of that church?

There are many options for you to consider if you truly love your wife.

Women ordinarily turn towards religion and spirituality more compared to the men.

If she wants to be religious how about you both embark on that journey together.

Sit her down and discuss and decide together which Church you both want to start attending. Etc.

Communication is key in every marriage. All the best.

OkaNaUbe:


This is why people fail examination. I asked if you are married and you are writing epistle.

I'm not interested in answering that question on a Nigerian forum. Most Nigerians reason like little children.

Something is wrong about the church... For the fact that u have reported to matter to her pastor. A real man of God will ensure that peace is restored in that marriage/home. Her pastor is a selfish man.. I really doubt if that church is a true church of Jesus Christ. These days we have men opening churches and working for their belly and not for Jesus. Secondly, it looks like u don't go to church. Ur wife is looking for solution to a problem which u are not aware of, but maybe in the wrong place. May God help both of u.

[color=#990000][/color]
Baba first of all I really don’t think your wife is really in love with you tho
1: First you are to be blame married for 7years and you didn’t built her into a go getter kind of woman why isn’t she working and earning a living for the Family and you said she has a shop, you should have make impact on how you plan to bring the shop to it’s peak for the family benefits unless you get married to a lazy wife tho
2: secondly when you ask for the divorce what was her reply her mood cause if she feels it normal my brother that wife of yours has been fucking around be that ooo
3: what did her friend did when she told them you asked for a divorce have they come visiting and begging and the Pastor has he come pleading cause they are quick to come to your door when you said she should attend the church again
Brother if them no show am happy to tell you that you have been the only one in the marriage for some time now, you just getting to know Baba

uboma:
Your wife may be sleeping with the supposed "Pastor" of the Church.

My thought too cos that's d symptoms I'm so sorry to say so...especially most expectant moms n well God forgive me if I'm wrong but you have to snoop closely or else you may father another man's child in d name of male child ish!!!

kmcutez:


I'm not interested in answering that question on a Nigerian forum. Most Nigerians reason like little children.

. I wanted to know who I am sharing ideas/educating. A man is never equal to a woman. No further comments. Bye.

Kindly stop the agreement u made with her not to born now, if she has children she will listen to u well, offspring keeps marriage healthy, that will engage her with domestic activities, don't ever allow ur wife to go another church from your church, don't divorce her.

daveson07:
that is wot i tot,bt it's having a negative effect on me

You v your final decision. But if true your allegation is intact, your wife is making mistakes with her New Zealand for church. Biblically, she's supposed to submit more to your authority. She should only be involved with church more only during time & days you or her kids won't need her services.
If it's me, I d v reported her to her family. If it persist, I m separating. Imagine that part where you said its even affecting her biz.
Investigate that church sef. Which Pastor without common sense ll hold people's wives, kids, husbands to church activities without considering their family. It fit be all these yahoo boy pastors that fornicate with women & scam them.

Wow....this is somehow
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daveson07:
This might sounds insane to many people but that's the pure truth,,my family life is at the brink(divorced but not yet legal)

as am typing this, i'm in deep confusion and pain.
It started some years back, my wife started going to this church (name withheld) that one of her friends invited her to join, at first i really don't care cause women(or girls)of nowadays can't be controlled cause of this equality bull.shit.

Now it's affecting me and i can't cope again,Monday to Sunday now it's one programme after anoder,,night vigil,special prayers and all.

Sometimes I eat late in the night,she would'nt return on time to prepare dinner,no time to have normal and enjoyable s€x with my spouse,she is always busy with church activities

I've complained several times and she will always promise to change,all to no avail,i even asked her never to attend dat church again,next ting i know their pastor was at mah door step begging me to retract my decision that evriting will change..(noting changes,it's even worse)

So,since i can't make her to desist from goin to the said church,i actually commot her from my house,since dat church is affecting her business also,she does'nt have time for shop again..

The main reason i wrote all dat sermon is dat,was i wrong in anyway? Cause i'm feeling guilty rite now and dats wots causing d pain in mah heart

ignore all typo and just try to get my point,,,PLEASE HELP A BRODER AM REALLY CONFUSED...tnx in advance

The pastor or one of the regular guy in that church is giving your wife better bed attention. Forget this church scam stuffs, just get yourself another babe before you die prematurely

prettysassygirl:

Did I ask u to be a controlling freak? Making decisions now as the man of the house makes one a controlling freak?? Jeez,I guess you are weak and that's y she doesn't respect u,I won't if I were married to u, moderation is the best way to approach life,don't be a wife beater and a controlling freak and don't be a weakling.simple.

This is harsh n judgemental I must tell you...quite right it's not easy on both of them lets just advise him positively n not in judgement n outbursts

Name of church abeg, so others wont tow dat line too

Leave your wife outta this and approach the pastor. Nothing should put asunder not even the church. Let him know he should be expecting another approach next your wife violates your rule because of his doctrines.

daveson07:
the first paragraph states divorce bt nt Legal.

The Church is not the only problem in your family.. Go and bring back your wife.

I know of a similar story, the lady attends a Church the husband took her to. He was controlling the wife to the extend she bought 2 cars and he seize the keys. When she get fed up and left he started blaming the the Church.

Oga, you are very wrong for driving away your wife.. I put it to you that you were the reason she was sleeping in the said Church. You created this thread out of guilt. If you don't go and bring her back, the guilt will kiil you.

Later u men will say u want a God fearing woman for marriage. So Someone cannot serve their God wholefully in peace again? Because ur married?? Marriage was always baseless sef.. That’s y Paul encouraged no marriage and celebacy.

I have a feeling , this Op is not telling the clean truth??

I'm not sure I can tolerate a wife that loves the church more than her home or business

My brother, what u feel is not quilt. It is you missing ur wife

Op if you are saying the "whole truth", then you should know that:

1. Someone outside your home is controlling your marriage and it doesn't have to be the devil.

2. Your wife is tired of the marriage that's why she is allowing that "someone" to interfere in the marriage.

3. There is something your wife is searching for out there in the name of going to church that you don't know about (women are deep).

4. The foundation of your marriage was faulty from the start and that's why all these are happening (the Bible says in Psalm 11:3 that "if the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?"so don't put the entire blame on her.

5. What she had expected in the marriage is not what she is seeing now that's why she is using church to hide her frustrations....and the points are endless.

Now what is the way out?

1. Sit down and identify who or what is trying to break your marriage (you don't have to even pray)...it may even be a habit you have that she is tired of.

2. Read books on great marriage or how to make marriage work(it is knowledge you need bro. and not prayer).

3. Ask your wife what she thinks will make a woman(not her o: you have to use scope otherwise she will detect) happy in marriage, then go to work on her answer.

4. Sneak to that church like two or three times to observe how things are done or send someone if you don't want to be detected. You can go to the evening services after they have finished calling out for first timers. The information you get there will help you make an informed decision.

5. Identify things that she likes in a man and things that naturally give her joy and start doing them...it could be helping out with house chores or banging her real good in a way that will make her scream your name for more.

Above all, commit your home to God in prayers because EXCEPT THE LORD BUILDS THE HOUSE, THEY LABOUR IN VAIN THAT BUILD IT.

God bless you!!!

daveson07:
ok. Quick question,,if u ask someone several times to stop doing somtin u don't like,nd dat sum1 promise nt to do it again nd yet he/she never quits doin it,,wots d next line of action?,cause am really confused

There's a way you'll ask and the person will obey. I didn't see that comment before my first post. You are a control freak, work on yourself if you want a happy marriage

SUPERPACK:
i hate women that cant respect her husband same way she respects her pastor, religion have caused more harm that good in the marriage institution. my brother don't feel guilty you did the right thing, there is always time for everything.
if she feels remorseful and is willing to change positively do take her back.

If any woman try that poo with me, i no mind to divorce her during honeymoon. They worship pastors instead of God. If the said wife understand christianity, she wouldn't jeopardize her family for some hypocritical reasons. How on earth can a church make people (especially women) attend church everyday knowing fully well they are supposed to be taking care of family and business? I don't know how they go about dragging the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to that end buh it's totally insane, most of the so called pastors self don't know a thing about Christianity, all they do is force/make their followers worship them. And why a supposed matured family woman would introduce a pastor to her family affairs also baffles me. I might eventually end up not getting married sha, cuz most of the things i hear about family and how they go about taking the pains and ish, not me and you. You must never talk to anyone about us, not even your inner man (woman). We are who we are, we must set everything right on our own.

First, Since u aren't finding inner peace after ur decision it then proves that its not d right decision for u at least for ur peace of mind.


Secondly, your wife needs to be called to order. Do not divorce her. Give her another chance to change n pls be strict this time. The bible says there is time for everything.

These seem 2 b complicate, reason is dat a wife should b sumitive 2 her husband nd child. Can i say u shuld divoce her becoz she was influence by a friend, dont be so surprise if u find out ur wife is engage to another man from the same church that her friend force on her, all the church thing is just to cast ur face of it so u wont suspect her. My advice nw is to call ur wife friend ask her if the way ur wife hv time for her church is the same way her friend do, if nt sumtin got to be fish out. Using church to covered her bad habit outside her marriage.

LewsTherin:
First I will take this from a Christian's point of view.
Second I will assume what the OP posted is the whole story.

Your duties to God begin from those immediately around you. This means husband/wife and children first. IN THAT ORDER. Anyone doing “church“ or ministry work to the detriment or family and secular work is not working for God.

I remember a testimony from my youth. The lady was always at the church early in the morning everyday to clean up before she leaves for her paid employment. As a result she always got to work sometime after 9am. One morning while cleaning she heard a voice from God asking what time it was. It was well after 8am. God asked her what time her office was open and when she was to resume. She said 8 am. God asked what she was doing in church. He took no pleasure in her service.

It is very easy for people to make their churches into emotional crutches and fail to see the damage they are causing in their secular lives. Even the bible admits that we are IN this world and so should render to Ceaser what is his.

Also realise that there are church leaders who like to make a cult following for themselves, where everything about the lives of their members is tied to them. I fear your wife is in such a setting.

Breaking someone out of a cult is an extremely difficult thing. You can Google and see what steps can fit your situation. But know one thing. Agressive displays of anger will drive her further into that cult mentality and further away from you.

But how did your wife get to become a member of a church you are not a part of? Did you have a church you were both committed to when you got married?

just look at the way you are saying 'Cult' 'cult' 'cult'.... You've judged and condemned her already without knowing the whole story. And you call yourself a Christian.

Thank God say man no be God

dingbang:
Your wife is not submissive. She doesn't read her bible ... Because the bible charges wives to be submissive to their husbands and not to deny them their bodies.

submission ko , submissive ni ! Rubbish !

SUPERPACK:
it might be the search for a male child that drove her to that church, is she under pressure from your family?. because it is common here in enugu, that a woman without a male child have nt started.

Hahahahahahahaha.. I am in Enugu too and can boldly confirm this. It's not only Enugu oh.. it's the entirety of Eastern states

That exactly what happens when you want to mix darkness and light together. Believer vs unbeliever, two christians, one with passion and the other none.....

Why did she start attending the church in the first place? If you had any spiritual headship over your family as you are supposed to then she would not leave you and be attending a new church, I hope you are not cheating or doing something that made her be jumping from church to church looking for solutions because these pastors smell vulnerable women like bloodhounds.


Anyway, you need to reclaim your spiritual headship of your family, draw close to God and lead your family to a place of worship you are comfortable with

Your wife has been brainwashed by the pastor ! Yonky a very serious event will bring her back to her senses ! Maybe it’s the pastor you need to deal with !

daveson07:
This might sounds insane to many people but that's the pure truth,,my family life is at the brink(divorced but not yet legal)

as am typing this, i'm in deep confusion and pain.
It started some years back, my wife started going to this church (name withheld) that one of her friends invited her to join, at first i really don't care cause women(or girls)of nowadays can't be controlled cause of this equality bull.shit.

Now it's affecting me and i can't cope again,Monday to Sunday now it's one programme after anoder,,night vigil,special prayers and all.

Sometimes I eat late in the night,she would'nt return on time to prepare dinner,no time to have normal and enjoyable s€x with my spouse,she is always busy with church activities

I've complained several times and she will always promise to change,all to no avail,i even asked her never to attend dat church again,next ting i know their pastor was at mah door step begging me to retract my decision that evriting will change..(noting changes,it's even worse)

So,since i can't make her to desist from goin to the said church,i actually commot her from my house,since dat church is affecting her business also,she does'nt have time for shop again..

The main reason i wrote all dat sermon is dat,was i wrong in anyway? Cause i'm feeling guilty rite now and dats wots causing d pain in mah heart

ignore all typo and just try to get my point,,,PLEASE HELP A BRODER AM REALLY CONFUSED...tnx in advance

Young man, your wife is only using the excuse of going to church to have sexual affairs with other men or probably women

LewsTherin:
First I will take this from a Christian's point of view.
Second I will assume what the OP posted is the whole story.

Your duties to God begin from those immediately around you. This means husband/wife and children first. IN THAT ORDER. Anyone doing “church“ or ministry work to the detriment or family and secular work is not working for God.

I remember a testimony from my youth. The lady was always at the church early in the morning everyday to clean up before she leaves for her paid employment. As a result she always got to work sometime after 9am. One morning while cleaning she heard a voice from God asking what time it was. It was well after 8am. God asked her what time her office was open and when she was to resume. She said 8 am. God asked what she was doing in church. He took no pleasure in her service.

It is very easy for people to make their churches into emotional crutches and fail to see the damage they are causing in their secular lives. Even the bible admits that we are IN this world and so should render to Ceaser what is his.

Also realise that there are church leaders who like to make a cult following for themselves, where everything about the lives of their members is tied to them. I fear your wife is in such a setting.

Breaking someone out of a cult is an extremely difficult thing. You can Google and see what steps can fit your situation. But know one thing. Agressive displays of anger will drive her further into that cult mentality and further away from you.

But how did your wife get to become a member of a church you are not a part of? Did you have a church you were both committed to when you got married?

Nice one