smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Caseless:
what is it about you that makes men lose control? Even the therapist attempted? Just stay strong.
I'm really Sorry for what happened!

victorian:






Such aunties are to be arrested.. That's very terrible! Children both male and female should voice out when raped! Men raped by women should also arrest such mentally unstable women
Women too should arrest such men who rapes. It's completely bad.

Parents should be close to their kids, so when such things happen, the children will easily tell their parents.

When I was very little, I should be 7years old then, my cousin who was way older tried raping me, he started with fingering me. I was like what's the uncle doing? He said I shouldn't tell my parents and he will buy chocolate for me tomorrow. In my mind I was like this is wrong, why is he touching me this way? And this guy came for the weekend.
Omo! Immediately my parents came back from work, late in the night
I ran to my mum and told her what happened. She was very angry, she told my dad and the cousin was really spoken harshly that night and sent off very early the next day. So parents be close to your kids, and they will tell u virtually anything or threats from extended family or strangers.
Such boys should voice out to their mums or dad. Cut off such evil quickly!

weyreypey:

Lucky you. I was on the verge of reporting such an aunty when she subverted me and reported that I was playing with electricity sockets.. oh oh oh... Some of us knew how to fvck before knowing how to wash even handkerchiefs.

victorian:











Wow! Na wa o.
And your parents believe her?
Wow!
So what kind of guy are you now, as uv grown up?

ranmoor:

Why kind therapist? She only visited all this church "therapist" not a professional I think!

queenbetsy:
This is serious...



Just cut ties with him.



See your mentor if you have one.


Note: Don't talk to just anybody about it, they can hurt you even more. But, be secretive to an extent. Please, to an extent...

Shalom.

queenbetsy:
This is serious...



Just cut ties with him.



See your mentor if you have one.


Note: Don't talk to just anybody about it, they can hurt you even more. But, be secretive to an extent. Please, to an extent...

Shalom.

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

weyreypey:


The kind of dad who'd not joke with the safety and security of the kids ...


Not all Nigerian boys who faced such made it out sane

victorian:










Eeyah
That's good
Very good
You made it out strong!
Thumbs up! May God keep you strong always to see them through life, amen.
Smiles.

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

weyreypey:

Amen. But it wasn't easy. You must realise that you were molested before you can heal. Most guys live in denial of the fact

hollyray2016:
Baby just call my number 08163708005, My d*ick is not too big.

hollyray2016:
Baby just call my number 08163708005, My d*ick is not too big.

thorpido:
Do you consider reporting him to the authorities? What he did is rape and he has no excuses for doing that.

You don't think your people will like him,in your heart of hearts,you don't really think he is the one.
You should wear your shoes to walk,innit?

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

victorian:










One can't heal o.
Not everyone can heal and move on.

Someone like me, if I were actually raped! I won't be the same ever again. In fact Its either he kills me or I kill him. Such rapist will not go Scot free. Mine was fingering at 7years old.. Then attempted rapes during adult age. Which actually made me detest men for years. So u can imagine, if it were full rape, the whole ten yards!

Mehn! Such guy is goner! Na death go end am.

I just thank God. God saved me several times.

kneehighbootz:


I feel sorry for you.

TruthHurts100:
Nobody has heard the guy's side of the story. If you judge without hearing from both sides, the Bible says you're foolish.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

weyreypey:

Death? Quite extreme.

victorian:









Oh yes, Death!

That's the only thing that will give me peace. I don't care if am killed in the process or jailed.

Such trauma is no joke.
People think its just Bleep and voila! One cleans herself up and move on.
For me, it's more than that.
My spirit and body is violated and I won't accept such and move on, like nothing happened.

I won't. I can be that extreme.

IntrovertedK:
Please let it go for the sake of the love you have for him.. Don't bother reporting him. I know it's rape, buh please let it go. At least for your pride. And i know you don't know that's why he wants to pay your bride price now. It's really not easy to date without sex. Especially when the lady is claiming virgin, you have no idea what our Edo sisters has done to that word 'Virgin'. So please forgive him. Don't press further. As a religious person, when the right person comes your way, he can't won't pass you by or leave because you are not a virgin. My only advice is that, make sure to reveal to whosoever you think deserves to know when he comes your way, explain it all to him and make sure to stand your ground you are not doing anything till your wedding night. If he can stay, let him buh if he can't let him go. Like i said earlier, you being the religious type will help you to know the right one when the time is right. Leave your present one, he isn't your husband, you know that yourself. Let it go. Stop holding on becasue he took your virginity 'forcefully'.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset