Hello Fellow  Nairalanders
I have a very serious problem of which i'm very confused rite now so i need your advise.Here's my story.
There's this girl living in the same compound with me.The first time i saw her,i fell in love with her but i didnt want to rush to let my feelings known to her.i wanted to study her a little because thats my policy.After severe investigation ,i discovered that she's a very promiscous girl so i decided to forget about her.I stayed in the same compound 4 almost a year but i never talked to her any day not knowin that she's dying 4 me and wants us 2 get intimated but she never cared to tell me(because thats the life of girls).So something happened recently about a 2weeks ago and she used that oppurtunity to get closer 2 me so we started talkin and like sharing feelings together so about 4days ago,she came to my house and as we were talkin,she asked me if i love her,i answer Yes and before i could say a word,she stood up came over to where i'm sittin,told me to close my eyes.As i closed my eyes,she gave me a very passionate kiss and said she's down 4 me 4ever that she loves me very much but she's been waitin 4 an oppurtunity like this to express 2 me how she cares about me.
Now thats not the problem.the problem is thats,Yesterday,She was told me with tears in her eyes that she's
pregnant 4 another guy and she's about to commit abortion next week and that she's afraid she might die but if she dies that i should not forget her because she loves me somuch.On hearing that,i was between the devil and the red sea.I was in complete delimma.
Although,i told her that i'll keep loving her and that i'll never 4gt her for the rest of my life and also told her to keep the pregnancy but she refused,I'm really confused on what to do next
Can someone out here bring me out of this predicament?

Well first of all, if the abortion is made properly (as in not at home, by God knows what woman) at the hospital, she won't even feel it, not to mention death!

Now getting to what you can do, it all depends on how you feel about her and your personal policy. If you love her as she is and you believe you have a future next to her, then stand there by her and support her. Even help her go through the abortion and let her know how much you care.

If I were you i would foot the bills.

But what about her prmiscuity?

has she changed? food for digestion

@ kris_kelat

As white'nkem already said, if she visits a real hospital, the chances of her dying is very low(if any). Her chances of dying during the operation under the hands of a professional doctor is equivalent to a lady's chances of dying during child birth which takes the most complicated situations to go wrong

That being the case, your total concern should be based on finding out where's planning on having the abortion carried out, because if its at a quacks's then you might as well wave good bye to either your girl or one very precious organ for child birth in future

Another fear should be how far is she with the pregnancy, and that's another advantage of visiting a good hospital because they give you the "truth", now science has it that for a woman to look forward to a successful abortion there are so so number of months her pregnancy should be.

The best solution wouldhave been for her to keep the pregnancy(because i'm not for the idea of abortion), but if she's bent on having it, then your priority should be to make sure she has a safe and sound one

@ your relationship:  I have a feeling that her "promiscuity" might be history now. Some people might not agree with me but i believe that in life there is someone that has the capability of changing your life, either for the better or for the worse

Some people are lucky enough to run into that "someone" and you my dear might be her "someone" so i think you should go for it

My cousins hussy puts it this way to my cousin the day i met you was the day i got arrested.

this guy was the biggest player in town but my cousin walking into his life made his past seem unreal and he himself today can't understand that people would be like that. This guy was once a biggy in the "business"

Could it be you are her own "arrester"? well no one can answer that but i do suggest you give it a chance. My cousin's relationship seems fresher and fresher for each day that passes, they couldn't be happier. Now if it happened to them, who dares say you can't be next lucky one??

I wish both of you luck hun

@Kris_Kat
Are you a fool? you found out that this girl is is promiscous, she got pregnant by another dude, planted a kiss on you without any reason e.t.c and you are still confused? Do you know how many other guys she has done this for? If you love your head, better run away from this girl before she ruins your life !!

@Cute-Ass thanx 4 ur suggestion and 4 what u said about the Relationship,I think ur rite.Maybe i may be the one to change her ways.
@Sweet T.Dont take everything 4 granted.remember,change is the only constant thing in life and we're bound to adoubt to changes at any time.Anyone can be a Devil today and Tomorrow Change to an angle.
@white'nkem,as u said,i'll ask her everything i need to know abt the pregnancy and makes sure she goes to a good hospital.At least she will understand that all Men are not the same.I'm a very emotional person so i'll make sure i'm not hurt alot or hurt her feelings too.

Omo dont be fooled.
Where is she coming from talking about love right away?

She is a ver confused girl in need of alot of help and attention. Dont get drawn into her life of deceit and she doesnt really know what love is.
She is very confused about love and lust.

If you know you ant control yourself when you are near this girl, then avoid her at all cost.
Allow her sort out her life before she comes into yours and messes both your lives up for good.

She really needs you to be a friend to her that will tell her the truth not someone that will come and sleep with her and add to her problems .She isnt altogether ok, so dont get involved sexually otherwise u are in serious trouble.

And stay away from her cause she is blackmailing you big time - and who is to say she is really pregnant?

@adeboo, God bless you!!

Adeboo,thanx 4 that advice.As a matter of fact,i just told her the same thing today that they shall be no sexual intercourse b/w us.that we can just be friends cuz i think the girl is not worthy 2 be my girlfriend.Thanks 2 ya'll that contributed to this topic.
PEACE

seriously, do u need us to tell you when a woman is trying to manipulate you?

man, jus try nd get over her, i kno her type, TROUBLE and HEART BREAK!!!

maaaan! don't be stupid! free that girl fast fast!

emotions are cool, but they only get you so far; character and compatibility is what completes the equation.

if you don't mind being with a girl who is loose (assuming her pregnancy is proof of her promiscuity) then go ahead, run things. but if you want a woman with character and a union that will last, then put your feelings in your pocket and walk away.

you won't regret it.

p.s.

something like that happened to me too. i fell for a girl who has a kid (and still lies about it), flirts any guy she thinks is cute (even with me around), and cheated on her boyfriend (with me). i like her, i really do, but i walked away.

i don't regret it.

@ OP Ode, gorrior, alakori, olodo, I bet you wooded right after you received the kiss.
I'm surprised you had the courage, strength, audacity, as a man, to post this nonsense.

OMO.

You dont even need friends like her.
Dont get involved - distance yourself from the girl otherwise you wont know when you will end up inbed with her cause from the sounds of things she sounds like she gat some seducing spirit troubling her.

SO RUN AWAY QUICK.

You are lucky, she did not seduce you ,push the pregnacy on you, Make you pay for it. Bobo mi, That Girl is like fire on the mountain run run run.

Thats what am saying mimi victor - 'its a big big fire, run run run run'

My Brother listen to cute-ass. She is really intelligent and has the best advices on this forum.
Keep it up Cute-Ass

highveld:

My Brother listen to cute-ass. She is really intelligent and has the best advices on this forum.
Keep it up Cute-Ass

yea yea yea, a lot of people say that

But i still love u girl

highveld:

My Brother listen to cute-ass. She is really intelligent and has the best advices on this forum.
Keep it up Cute-Ass

ewwwwwww, the best compliment ever, thanks hun _{*covering hands on face*} i'm even blushing so hard lol

@ topic
many have condemned the girl, and i all see your views but i do have some questions:

who says a promiscious girl has no heart??
who says a promiscous girl isn't capable of loving regardless her past??
who says she might not be a product of circumstances??
who says the "righteous" girl next door needs to be any better than her?
who says a promiscous girl doen't deserve to love and be loved??
even a prostitute on finding true love changes for the better, remaining ever grateful to her "saviour" guy for rescuing her from her miserable act.

The truth hurts but we have to face facts, some (i didn't say all ooh) of these once known bad-characterised people turn out to be able to love more and stand out the test of time than most "well behaved ones"

what if the next you runinto is a pretender doing worse things than this particular girl??

reemember: the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know

this might not always be the case, but how do we know whose case it might fall right, if we don't try??

@ poster: yea start by being the best friend you can be, watch her movements to see if she's changed, if she has and you guys are up for something more, then why not. If you back out(i mean after she's made endeavours to change), you might be turning your back on love, now what if that was your one time opportunity of love??

kris, i don't mean to over trivialise this but are you christian?
do not be a partaker in this messy deal. she needs to keep that child, who knows what the child will be?
then you need to ask yourself if you will honestly do right by her and the child, should she keep it. why do you really love her? is she pretty or is it just because she was unattainable when you wanted her?
you need to look at this from an object view, weigh out the pros and cons, honestly and you will know what to do, God will tell you what to do.
hope it turns out well

Oh ma godness.

@poster - look my guy. if you were my brother, i would say the same thing.

You are too young and too available to get caught up in that kinda mess. Am sure there are single girls out there that you can get with.

Nobody is condeming the girl, am just sayiong she needs to get help for herself cause she seems to be 'fighting a lot of demons'. She is in need of help but not from you cause you cant help her - you like her so your judgements are clouded.

Stay away from her and let her clear her mess, then and maybe then, you can date her (but dont be fooled you cant handle that).

If you say you wanna go with her to the abortion clinic - what if it all goes wrong and she dies? (God forbid) Wo you will do time in prison- shebi na nija.

Stay well away from her, this is not your stress - let her deal with it

nkbaby:

kris, i don't mean to over trivialise this but are you christian?
do not be a partaker in this messy deal. she needs to keep that child, who knows what the child will be?
then you need to ask yourself if you will honestly do right by her and the child, should she keep it. why do you really love her? is she pretty or is it just because she was unattainable when you wanted her?
you need to look at this from an object view, weigh out the pros and cons, honestly and you will know what to do, God will tell you what to do.
hope it turns out well

one very very good post

@ POSTER
MUMU,U JUST FELL 4 D OLDEST TRICK IN DA BOOK.