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Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? - Romance - Nairaland

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Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Dvampire(m): 2:48pm On Jul 25, 2010
Sometime ago, a friend of mine visited me. My wife had gone out to a nearby shop to buy something. Moments later, a text message was delivered to my wife's phone. My wife left her phone at home. I casually picked up the phone and read the message. I noticed the look of surprise on my friend's face. He told me that he and his wife don't read each others mails, don't divulge passwords, and stuff like that; reason being that they want to respect each others privacy.
Now the question is should certain things be kept from your spouse all in the name of respecting privacy or is there wisdom in allowing your spouse free entry and exit as far as these delicate things are concerned?
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by carlinks: 3:44pm On Jul 25, 2010
oya, to the married ones up here, drop your comment but i would never read my girlfriend's text cos i know how guys behave, she might meet the guy today and agree they should be friends only for the guy to start sending romantic messages by evening which might make you feel bad when there is really nothing happening

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by blank(f): 5:53pm On Jul 25, 2010
Transparency is key in marriage.
The two shall become one. How will this work if they still have secrets from each other?
What kind of privacy is it that you can not show ur spouse ur emails, texts,etc.
It should even be second nature and not a big deal.

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by cantell(m): 9:32pm On Jul 25, 2010
^^^nice reply from blank.
There shouldn't be privacy between married couples.
Why the privacy? Are they Mr. And Mrs smith?

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by frankd1: 10:17pm On Jul 25, 2010
I personally believe in the 'matrimonial mathematics' 1+1=1. couples could share even turned down overtures.
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Acidosis(m): 12:28am On Jul 26, 2010
cantell:

^^^nice reply from blank.
There shouldn't be privacy between married couples.
Why the privacy? Are they Mr. And Mrs smith?
lol.
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Nobody: 5:03am On Jul 26, 2010
@poster
people who believe they need their own privacy SHOULDNT get married at the first place.
the day they say I DO, her phone is his (and vice versa), her life is his (and vice versa) and her space is his (and vice versa).
but fear not because her worries/problems/troubles etc are his too (and vice versa)
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by StRichy(m): 5:50am On Jul 26, 2010
Here's is the result of the research i conducted
if u want PEACE in your marriage DO'NT pay too much attention to private details.
Else you will be the one KILLING urself by urself!

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by iice(f): 8:22am On Jul 26, 2010
shocked
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Nobody: 8:29am On Jul 26, 2010
St. Richy:

Here's is the result of the research i conducted
if u want PEACE in your marriage DO'NT pay too much attention to private details.
Else you will be the one KILLING urself by urself!


here is the result of the research I conducted:
if you dont pay any attention to your partner and whatever private details she got, someone else will.

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by fubiluv: 10:19am On Jul 26, 2010
Transparency is the best in Marriage.
I don't believe that their should be any secret at all.

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Spyker: 11:26am On Jul 26, 2010
I'm not married but if you ask me, a little privacy is required.
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by blank(f): 11:54am On Jul 26, 2010
@ Spyker, its cos ur not married dats why u r saying such.
When u get married, u wont even know when u start giving up those so called privacy stuff.
When u realise it n try to stop it, it will be like u have something to hide.
Just let it go, its not worth any aggravation.
Also, there should be absolute trust in a marriage.
Not like u will go out of ur way to spy on ur partner but that when such things come up like the example in the original post, u wont mind.

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Djswaggz(m): 12:03pm On Jul 26, 2010
May God Help Us!!!
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by skyndyp(f): 12:14pm On Jul 26, 2010
When u start having 'privacy' in marriage,you are courting trouble. Openess is the key

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by mkpuluma(f): 12:16pm On Jul 26, 2010
some level of privacy is required
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by royalicon(m): 12:26pm On Jul 26, 2010
No privacy will take a higher percentage BUT there should be in some areas e.g. Answering calls (especially for business class) should be privatized BUT this will only be achieved if there is ABSOLUTE trust in the union.
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Omolola1(f): 12:27pm On Jul 26, 2010
the privacy and openness should be on the same level
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by seyibrown(f): 12:34pm On Jul 26, 2010
The only time one quotes 'privacy' is when the matter at hand is something you don't want your spouse to know.

I really think a couple should know everything abouth each other and not hide things from themselves (except when planning a beautiful or naughty surprise grin grin).
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Pharoh: 12:43pm On Jul 26, 2010
No matter what privacy should still be respected provided your hands are clean and the other party is not trying to monitor you.
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by muggle(m): 12:54pm On Jul 26, 2010
I believe a level of privacy is needed and this does not mean u av something to hide.

When a lady or man starts to make it obvious that she/he can at anytime check the spouse's
fone or other things, then it shows insecurity. If you are sure of your spouse, you do not need
to check.

My 2 kobo!
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by debosky(m): 1:16pm On Jul 26, 2010
There is no need for privacy as such, but there is a need for trust.

Let me explain: While it is ok to have full access to your partner's phone, text messages, email, etc, it won't be appropriate to be continuously checking up on your partner, monitoring all their emails and communications. That will signify a lack of trust.

Free access should be encouraged, but that should not turn into an act of policing the other person.

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by CarlosVent(m): 2:22pm On Jul 26, 2010
dis type of privacy respect is rubish

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by rubi(f): 2:52pm On Jul 26, 2010
In marriage there should be some privacy and not secret
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by FBS: 4:04pm On Jul 26, 2010
rubi:

In marriage there should be some privacy and not secret
Care to explain the difference in the context of this topic?
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by luap: 4:23pm On Jul 26, 2010
If you guys are ok with your level of privacy, than it is ok. Everyone is different
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by matiltomd(f): 4:25pm On Jul 26, 2010
FBS:

Care to explain the difference in the context of this topic?

You beat me to it!

On the other hand,i think the most important thing is to marry your best friend,  If you see your spouse as your best friend,i don't think any form of "privacy" is needed. But if you're married,and you still need a particular form of privacy;i honestly don't understand that kinda marriage. What are you "privatizing" from each other? grin grin But honestly,what are you two hiding from each other?  
You forfeited your privacy the day you signed the dotted lines (by inviting someone else into it), So deal with it fast! cheesy
You need privacy? Better don't get married, grin grin

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Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Ninapha(f): 5:09pm On Jul 26, 2010
Is the privacy thing only on the context of phone, text messages and mails, What about those withdrawals given to mama and younger brothers without telling hussy.
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by kokoye(m): 6:02pm On Jul 26, 2010
Your privacy is 100% null and void once you get married.

Two become one . . so deal with it.

I had issues with it once I started get real close to my fiancee at the time but now it is part of me since was is a battle I could not win.  grin

Really, if you got no skeleton in your cupboard, it is for the better.

1 Like

Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by adaphik(f): 8:08pm On Jul 26, 2010
@ topic, YES
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by Nobody: 10:07pm On Jul 26, 2010
.
Re: Is There Anything Like 'respecting Privacy' In Marriage? by 4llerbuntu(m): 10:21pm On Jul 26, 2010
as usual, they have  come again with the usual bollocks, and am sure a cursory examination will reveal singles and unhappy spouses spouting the tripe

if u cannot understand the difference between privacy and secrecy then too bad, dont worry such stuff is best learnt practically.
the simple truth is that all of you simply have that need/urge to monitor your spouses in the name of openness!!

this is similar to the other thread where someone was asking if his girlfriend should know all his passwords, bank details etc. well i wonder what kinda "happy" marriage u gonna have when your spouse always wonders aloud why u give your mother and siblings or friends any kobo
to make it all simple you pple should just keep a single fone so anyone can call any of u on the same fone, or just bug ur fones so the other person can always listen in on your convos.
i remember a guy who used my pc to check his mail once and i was wondering what he was doing for 15 mins, till i saw he was checking his girlfriend's mail, his mails, his girlfriends siblings mail!!!!!! asked how he knew the password, miss girfriend provided them all!! it was so irritating,

if u feel a need or urge to know who your spouse is talking to or what they talking about, then sorry to say u have serious insecurity issues, makes u smile when u remember all those "trust" bollocks u hear pple spout

there is what is known as a private space, every individual has to have it else the relationship will suffer in the long run. its NOT THE SAME AS KEEPING SECRETS, BESIDES IF ARE YOU SAYING I CANNOT EXERCISE MY JUDGMENT TO DECIDE IF TO TELL MY SPOUSE SOMETHING OR TO REFRAIN?

two becomes one, yeah right, y\i guess your wife will be taking the decisions to run your businesses too shey, and decide ur investments too abi? lol. u will soon learn firsthand

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