But when the Op choose to explore by getting herself a side boo, you mofo's will call her some unprinted names.


Dear Op, do what makes you happy. If it's to get a side dude, do it. If you wish to pray, Pray, It's your marriage.

Terryindeed:




I really would have love to insults you but imma keep my mouth shut for now. What do you mean by what you get snooping through his phone, who is she to him? His fffuckking wife. She has every right to know what is going on with her husband. What If the man infected her with STD or STI or something worse than that? Madam I feel so sorry for what you are going through right now. Also his inability to apologized and make come to his senses. I hate to say this, but you should tell his mum or dad. A man like that will never change, the fact that my wife knows I cheated and I still act like I did nothing wrong? That means I have no value for my wife. Madam, you need to make few changes in your life, if you have a job, focus , take care of your kids, your house is divided and the head of the house ain't ready to fix it. I know how sad you are right now, trust and betray are two worse things to live it. Give your husband SPACE to continue fooling himself, mhen I know its hurt a lot. Some men eh.

Thank you for the advice. I just can't stop wondering why I wasn't enough for him. Yes things got a bit stressful sometimes, we have busy lives and young children, there has been arguments but we still had nice times and a healthy, good sex life. I'm one minute sobbing, then so angry.

He's still denying! He woke me up during the night and said we should talk. I ignored him and then he started his sob story that the lady is lying against him. I am more upset about the fact that he's taking me for a fool.

This is a man that is in a messy financial situation for the past months and barely meeting his financial responsibility in the home. I have been covering up in the home front. He sold off his car in June and have been driving mine (i bought with my money) around while i hop on bikes. He obviously was using my car to take another woman to a hotel and he still doesn't feel an iota of guilt about it.

I am in a very tight corner and i can't think straight right now. All I can think about is our kids and how I don't want to deny them the right to grow up with their father. But i certainly can't continue in this marriage if he doesn't even respect me enough to admit what he did.

Gratefulaheart:


This is a man that is in a messy financial situation for the past months and barely meeting his financial responsibility in the home. I have been covering up in the home front. He sold off his car in June and have been driving mine (i bought with my money) around while i hop on bikes. He obviously was using my car to take another woman to a hotel and he still doesn't feel an iota of guilt about it. [b][/b]
.

this why you even crazy mad about it all
its hard i know
just stay strong

Gratefulaheart:
I noticed he has been exchanging calls alot with a particular number on Whatsapp. So I asked him about it and he bacame defensive. He angrily asked for me to give him back his phone, and when i refused he forcefully collected it from me, twisting my fingers in the process.

I later got my hand on his phone at a later time and was able to get the number of the person. I called and i received the shock of my life when the female who answered the call said he's her boy friend and they have been seeing for a while now. She admitted they have been having sex in a hotel, that my husband told her he isn't married.

Thank God my call recorder was on. I have the qhole conversation stored on my phone. I was very calm although my conversation with the lady, wven though it's the hardest thing i have ever had to do.

I confronted my husband and he denied it. I played the recorded call and guess what? He still denied!

We have been married for 4 years with 2 kids. I feel so devastated and awful right now not knowing which way to turn.

He's not apologizing or feeling remorseful. This is too much of a betrayal and I just don't know how we could ever get past this. I feel so betrayed and can't believe he would do this and not think of the impact it would have on me and our kids. I thought we were soulmates and would grown old together.

I have been sobbing all day since i found out.

Has anyone ever gone through this? What is the right way to handle this?


Moderator* (Please no front page. Pls i beg of you

Hmmmm .... all is well ma’am. I believe .... I strongly believe it shall be well

Well, I’ve been there as a guy. Dated a lady and she cheated the hell out of the relationship cos she knows I’m not the type that flirt around even though she can’t stand it if I did that. So I would say I “might” know how you feel especially if you the lovey type and not the type that cheats.

I think you have in your hands a serial cheater who I believe has been playing the game since.

And I think it’s more of a habit and an habit is very difficult to break.

I also want to believe you either saw him do it when u were dating and felt “ohh that, he will stop it once he has the veejayjay full time” or he wasn’t the type and you inadvertently drove him into that by what you do or did.

But I also believe nothing is impossible. I believe he can stop all that shit and come back home full time but it’s not magic unless he gets an unforgettable experience outside or you start doing what u did back the that made him decide to marry you.

Just take your time to think about where it a went wrong and see if the fault is from you and pls be very honest with yourself.

And pls never ever report him to your parents/family or his family. That would be a recipe for disaster. More like helping the sound of thunder with that of a Bomb.

Lastly to weather the storm of life/marriage, what you need isn’t big boobs or big bums or the likes. You must be a praying woman. Oya repeat after me “I must be a praying woman”.

I really don’t think you should cheat to counter his actions or make him jealous et al. Cos 2 wrongs will never make a right except in mathematics where negative multiplied by negative will give u positive.

Anyway, if u neee someone to talk to, feel free to buzz me ma’am.

Take care and stay blessed.

StPete:

You must be a bastard. An idiot to say the least

You must be mistaking me for your father.

Oyindidi:
No I don't support divorce, if na me I for slap am as he dey lie. No time

If you are married you will understand more.No marriage is made in heaven it's just understanding.

dandollaz:

If you are married you will understand more.No marriage is made in heaven it's just understanding.

I've been married for 11yrs, my husband can't look me in the eyes and lie to me. Truth breaks me, I will forgive him and even laugh about it if he opens up but when you claim you're right like this op's husband, you'll see me in real action.

Why not take your car keys from him?He has no absolute right to your car if he picks your rivals with it
Let him take bike with his girlfriend.Im sure she will dump him soon.

I confronted my husband and he denied it. I played the recorded call and guess what? He still denied!


wetin be this?


well, I'll advice you cheat on him, people like this do not really learn until same thing happens to them

Oyindidi:
I've been married for 11yrs, my husband can't look me in the eyes and lie to me. Truth breaks me, I will forgive him and even laugh about it if he opens up but when you claim you're right like this op's husband, you'll see me in real action.

What kind of action Nne?

@gratefulaheart it's glaring, you love your husband more than he loves you. A friend of mine was about to cheat. His wife found out about it through his whatsapp chat. That was all, do you know what his wife did? she started crying, sobbing for a whole week. The cry was so serious even till when they'll both sleep on the bed. That was when my friend started begging, calling family members to help beg his wife to stop crying cuz she also refuse to eat and y'all know what that means. It seriously destabilize my guy for a whole week cuz he had to be bathing, cooking and feeding the kids. To cut the story short, she accepted after so much appeal from both families. All this drama cuz of attempted cheating. From that day till now, my friend runs away from stray girls.. he sings chorus of "my wife" everywhere he goes. What I want to say is, look for what pains your husband, use that to hurt him and don't stop doing it till he succumbs. Divorce isn't really an option except when violence is involved.

nkwuocha:




What kind of action Nne?

you tell me

Oyindidi:
I've been married for 11yrs, my husband can't look me in the eyes and lie to me. Truth breaks me, I will forgive him and even laugh about it if he opens up but when you claim you're right like this op's husband, you'll see me in real action.

The Tigress in real action.

JasonScoolari:
The Tigress in real action.

did you see the pix?

Oyindidi:
did you see the pix?

Yeah, take it down.

OP, what do you do for a living?

Lack of financial independence is one of the reasons why spouses (esp women) tolerate nonsense in their relationships/ marriage. It is also the reason why the other partner has the effontery to do behave anyhow

As for me, it's my personal decision not to bring any kid that I cannot personally take care of into this world. I don't need all that drama. I won't beg you to support your own child. So, no matter how rich my husband is, I have decided that I must still have my own income!

This can never be overstressed in marriage!

Madam, if I were in your shoes (I pray not to though), .... Anyway, lemme not type it here so that I don't interfere with the minds of younger readers.

OP, if you are an independent (financially) woman that has never been found wanting in your wifely duties, send me a PM lemme advise you on what to do. I have many options though divorce being the last.

I know it hurts very much.
Warm hugs to you!

See them with their false indignation.
Na today man begin play away match?
The only error here was that a nigga got caught.
Thou shall not be caught.

flyca:
OP, what do you do for a living?

Lack of financial independence is one of the reasons why spouses (esp women) tolerate nonsense in their relationships/ marriage.

As for me, it's my personal decision not to bring any kid that I cannot personally take care of into this world.

I agree with you totally. But in this situation, it seems the Op have something doing for herself, the problem here is, she's still contemplating on her next line of action.

Oyindidi:
I've been married for 11yrs, my husband can't look me in the eyes and lie to me. Truth breaks me, I will forgive him and even laugh about it if he opens up but when you claim you're right like this op's husband, you'll see me in real action.

Exactly,it is even the denial that is more hurting.
He is surprised and humbled that he was caught hence the denial.

Oyindidi:
did you see the pix?

seasons greetins

Hope u have rice need to eat some

African men don't Cheat.. na oyinbo men dey cheat.

Gratefulaheart:
Thank you for the advice. I just can't stop wondering why I wasn't enough for him. Yes things got a bit stressful sometimes, we have busy lives and young children, there has been arguments but we still had nice times and a healthy, good sex life. I'm one minute sobbing, then so angry.

He's still denying! He woke me up during the night and said we should talk. I ignored him and then he started his sob story that the lady is lying against him. I am more upset about the fact that he's taking me for a fool.

This is a man that is in a messy financial situation for the past months and barely meeting his financial responsibility in the home. I have been covering up in the home front. He sold off his car in June and have been driving mine (i bought with my money) around while i hop on bikes. He obviously was using my car to take another woman to a hotel and he still doesn't feel an iota of guilt about it.

I am in a very tight corner and i can't think straight right now. All I can think about is our kids and how I don't want to deny them the right to grow up with their father. But i certainly can't continue in this marriage if he doesn't even respect me enough to admit what he did.

Okay so I read this part and decided to add more.
Wait o, you have been supporting him financially and he still had guts to cheat? How can a broke man who has being failing in this basic family responsibility still have ere.ction?

I need you to think: How can you protect your kids? Where are your relatives? Parents? Can you hand over your kids to some trusted adult in the meantime?

If yes, take them away and get ready for drama.
Do you have any crush? Maybe from secondary school or university? If yes.... good!

Stop sobbing or crying, he is not responding to it. Start a chat with someone from your past, start with a neutral chat. School life, lectures, school uniform, teachers, life after school, church, religion, politics etc. Allow him to occupy you in the meantime. Laugh, have fun. Ignore oga and reconnect with your past. Be cheerful at home, keep up with your wife duties, call your kids and stay connected with them. Ignore oga totally. If you have been dropping money for him, STOP! Pamper yourself. If you have extra cash, buy a luxury product for yourself! And excuse me, you may be needing your precious car more often than usual Stop flying bikes, it's not sexy! And you since you will be wearing high heel shoes, it's not convinent, not anymore!

Now, how he reacts will direct you, your next moves, and most importantly, will direct how deep the connection goes. If he is still unconcerned, increase tempo, move to gear 2. Fix a date. Again, still keep it as neutral as possible. Meet him at Mr Biggs or Tantalizers. Go with one of your kids (the one that will tell Daddy that “Uncle Sam” bought him ice cream )! Lol.

Lemme know when you get to gear 4

Whatever you do, do not leave your matrimonial home for any baskard slay queen! Na him go run commot. Keep that recording very safe too. We die dia!

Hey, it's just an advice. You must not follow it!

robosky02:
seasons greetins

Hope u have rice need to eat some

and what if your husband is saying the truth

The only part wey concern me is you covering up his financial loopholes and giving your own car to fly bike??. As in you actually swapped your own luxury for a marital supka... Stop eeeeeeettttttttt!!!!!!!!

Na love be this one too...I no fit abeg..

Dear Queens, make we dey camdan for this love thing o.. These men didn't come to play at all at all.

Oyindidi:

watin na

You no cook

Ogbenimax:
and what if your husband is saying the truth

First, spouses are diserning - most times.
Next, the husband's attitude and response is almost screaming “guilty”!

flyca:

First, spouses are diserning - most times.
Next, the husband's attitude and response is almost screaming “guilty”!

like say you dey there