There's this guy that has been admiring me and likes me. We hung out once but afterwards I got so busy until i agreed to see him again. We went out, dinner, movies, then a lounge, then it got so late, i wanted to go home but he wanted me to stay with him at his place then I could still leave if I wanted to, take a cab. I followed, we stayed then we both fell asleep until I got up to tell him to call the cab for me to go, he now asked if I had money which was expensive because his place was far.
I was so upset and told him he could have let me go when I was closer to my place as it was cheaper. His car had a problem. He started saying, how there was nothing he could do and all, I just stood up and walked out. When the cab came, he came downstairs too but I ignored him and entered the cab and left.
Did i over react? Was I wrong or he was wrong? And if I was wrong, what should I do? Thanks

From your story i concluded on th following points

- it is understandable you got angry but you should be grateful he is not one of those guys that drug you, bleep you and throw you out afterwards.
- You slept off willingly as well as you followed him home willingly too.
- You got the cab in the end so why the cold shoulder treatment you carried out on him, he was visibly sorry and you got to know that his car had a problem so he would have offered you a ride home. You also didn't say how you both went to have dinner;was with a cab or his car?
- wat if he didn't have a dime on him and he spent all the money he had on you just for you ti  have a teat that night is it not okay for you to pay your own cab fare?after all i am sure you didn't spend anything throughout the date.

YOU ARE WRONG APOLOGIZE TO HIM FAST instead of typing here

@ poster the guy was completely wrong cos he was the one that suggestd u go to his hse so he was indirectly taking responsibility for ur welfare nt only at his hse but ur safe return bak home. It is the same principle as him askn u out for dinner then askn u if u hv money to pay for the dinner it is jst nt appropriate. If he knew he was broke he shld hv jst let u go home earlier after the original date then the responsibility of payn for the cab wldnt hv been on him.
Pls dnt lower ur self by txtn or calling him wait for him to be intouch then u cn forgive him if u choose

@ sugar pp so u saying her calling to apologize would lower her self. I love girls that think like u thinkin yall are all lat dats y once we beat then we out. Then u start callin us a.s.s.hole.s. Get tha f.outta here. Did he force her to go to his house. Is he da father. He is not obliged to do jack. If she shdnt apologize cool but not becus it will lower her. Wtf

Cool likely scenario material. Let me go and construct it. brb.

There you are miss cosmass, your likely scenario . enjoy.
We will call you Calista. Cosmass sounds manish.

LS decided to poke its nose on nairaland and found a very useful material.
Calista, A young lady is trying out a guy she is not sure of. She went out with the guy before but wasn’t sure she could date the guy. After  may months of not being able to catch another guy, She decided to give the guy another Chance. She called the guy and arranged for a dinner date.
Here is the exact message from our girl.

There's this guy that has been admiring me and likes me. We hung out once but afterwards I got so busy until i agreed to see him again. We went out, dinner, movies, then a lounge, then it got so late, i wanted to go home but he wanted me to stay with him at his place then I could still leave if I wanted to, take a cab. I followed, we stayed then we both fell asleep until I got up to tell him to call the cab for me to go, he now asked if I had money which was expensive because his place was far.
    I was so upset and told him he could have let me go when I was closer to my place as it was cheaper. His car had a problem. He started saying, how there was nothing he could do and all, I just stood up and walked out. When the cab came, he came downstairs too but I ignored him and entered the cab and left.
      Did i over react? Was I wrong or he was wrong? And if I was wrong, what should I do? Thanks

Here goes our constructive likely scenario o what happened between Calista and the guy.
[Calista dials John to book a dinner date.]


Calista : John do you have time today ? I want us to have dinner together.
John : I think you should start by saying "hi". Why do you always feel like you are doing me a favour by taing me out ?
Calista : I don't have time for all that now , do you want to go or not ?
John : Ok, i will meet you by 7 pm at the garage.

[2 hours later, John and Calista meets up]



Calista : Listen John, i am not really interested in going out with you, I am just bored and needed company. You are the only person i could think of now.
John : It is ok Calista. [hoping to take her home after dinner]

[img]http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/72292/72292,1251693586,2/stock-photo-young-black-african-american-couple-sitting-by-glass-table-and-eating-meal-of-salad-bagels-with-36197395.jpg[/img]

Calista : Johnny, thanks for the dinner. Do you think i can stay over in your place tonight ? I will go tomorrow.
John : Sure, you are always welcome in my place.

[And they drove home to John's]
[img]http://1.bp..com/_VSjdKAQpeMw/R3xnH3aPCDI/AAAAAAAABks/QF_y7PSZ8Fc/s400/black-couple-kissing-~-AMR004.jpg[/img]
[After Much much tangoing in the night, Calista wakes up in the morning and demands that John give him 50,000 naira for her hair. John of course was not prepared for that, He refuses.]


Calista : You will give me that money. When you were enjoying last night, You forgot you will have to pay one way or the other
John : don't forget you called me first. I wasnt ready for this.
Calista : I don't care. I need the money for my new hair.
John : What kind of hair costs 50 Grand anyway ?
Calista : That is not your business. Just give me the money.

[John Leaves and Calista goes home empty handed. She starts her laptop and opens nairaland romance section where She has Allies in lying]



Calista : Guys and girls , Do you think i over reacted ?

Sam Milla : Not at all. You did not. You over lied.

From the laughter joint - http://sammilla.com/2010/08/07/ls-dating-a-guy-for-money-was-i-wrong/

@ 5stars the way the guy treated her is comparable to how a man will treat a prostitute he wasnt pleased with.

1st of all a gentleman wldnt hv suggestd taking her to his house only to leave her high n dry when it came to payn 4 her taxi. What was he expectn that because she didnt hv the taxi fare she should stay over at his house fair enough he didnt force her to go but why ask her if she had taxi fare if he wasn't interested in footing the bill? also it wasnt unreasonable for the girl to assume he was going to pay for the extra expense since the night was still technically a continuation of their "date". Even if he truly didnt have the money (although i doubt that was the case) there are better ways he could have handled the situation for example promising to reimburse her at a later date or something

then after makn her go through the embarassment dnt u think it shld b up to the guy to call her first to try to smooth things over? he is meant to b wooing her

its nt about girls thinkn they r all that rather its about setting standards for what you want in a man and in a relationship theres a yoruba saying that roughly translates to "what you can't accept as an adult it is from youth you refuse it" basically by her calling him she is sending him a message that it is ok for him to use her, make her spend more money than she needed to and not expect a simple show of respect in return.

Well its up to her what she decides. Personally i think only a desperate girl would call a guy after he put her through that

sugar pp:

@ 5stars the way the guy treated her is comparable to how a man will treat a love-peddler he wasnt pleased with.

1st of all a gentleman wldnt hv suggestd taking her to his house only to leave her high n dry when it came to payn 4 her taxi. What was he expectn that because she didnt hv the taxi fare she should stay over at his house fair enough he didnt force her to go but why ask her if she had taxi fare if he wasn't interested in footing the bill? also it wasnt unreasonable for the girl to assume he was going to pay for the extra expense since the night was still technically a continuation of their "date". Even if he truly didnt have the money (although i doubt that was the case) there are better ways he could have handled the situation for example promising to reimburse her at a later date or something

then after makn her go through the embarassment dnt u think it shld b up to the guy to call her first to try to smooth things over? he is meant to b wooing her

its nt about girls thinkn they r all that rather its about setting standards for what you want in a man and in a relationship theres a yoruba saying that roughly translates to "what you can't accept as an adult it is from youth you refuse it" basically by her calling him she is sending him a message that it is ok for him to use her, make her spend more money than she needed to and not expect a simple show of respect in return.

Well its up to her what she decides. Personally i think only a desperate girl would call a guy after he put her through that

@ Sugarpp
You should understand one thing when it comes to issues like this, lets be objective about it.
1. The guys didn't force her to follow him to his house, I mean she barely knows him, what was she following him to his house for late at night? At least am sure the guy footed the bill for the meal, so why not be grateful and find your way home
2. whatever happened to the concept of "vex money", ok deed had been done, she followed the guy and the guy didn't pay her cab fare, at least it should become an issue that is why we carry vex money abi? since she willing went to the guys house, she should have been willing to pay her cab fare. I don't know what is embarrassing in this matter oo.
3. Talking about setting standards, what standards has she set for herself? if you look at this story objectively, the girl was wrong in every ramification. lets call a spade a spade my dear.
4. I don't see any reason why the girl calling and apologising is degrading, she should apologise and get on with her life, the guy will even appreciate her more.
Cheers

Before I open my eyez,will you run along and apologise to that good hearted man

iice:

So the essence of the diatribe is him not giving money for the cab?

All hail Lady Macbeth,thane of Caldor (was it cawldor?) you and your English, for one you side the guy

@ Sam Milla

Beautiful one dude. I like your explanation.

@ Sam Milla

Long time no see.

Hope u av more likely scenarios.
Will check out ur blog.

@ poster, abeg do your thing.
If the guy begs u, make small shakara b4 u agree.
If not, forget him jo.

nat138:

@ Sugarpp
You should understand one thing when it comes to issues like this, lets be objective about it.
1. The guys didn't force her to follow him to his house, I mean she barely knows him, what was she following him to his house for late at night? At least am sure the guy footed the bill for the meal, so why not be grateful and find your way home
2. whatever happened to the concept of "vex money", ok deed had been done, she followed the guy and the guy didn't pay her cab fare, at least it should become an issue that is why we carry vex money abi? since she willing went to the guys house, she should have been willing to pay her cab fare. I don't know what is embarrassing in this matter oo.
3. Talking about setting standards, what standards has she set for herself? if you look at this story objectively, the girl was wrong in every ramification. lets call a spade a spade my dear.
4. I don't see any reason why the girl calling and apologising is degrading, she should apologise and get on with her life, the guy will even appreciate her more.
Cheers

i'm sure the poster had "vex money" with her since she eventually paid for the taxi. The issue here is her wondering if she was in the right or wrong for getting angry and how she reacted. Personally i think she made a few wrong moves on the day returning to his house being one of them but i think overall the guy was the one that messed up:

1. he asked her if she had the money to pay for the taxi. Now it would have been a different scenario if he opened the door for her, escorted her to the taxi and simply bid her farewell in that case the poster wouldn't have had the opportunity to ask for the taxi fare back home and she would have learnt her lesson to always carry enough money when going out but in this story he actually asked her if she had money she replied and said "no" then the guy started story telling about how his car is not good and he has no money to pay for her taxi. The embarassment here is making the girl sound like she was begging for taxi money if he knew he was broke why not just shut up . Also his behaviour makes me suspect his motive, he doesnt sound like a guy trying to woo a woman he likes but instead sounds like one that wants to pay for sex with her and since he didnt get it that night he got angry and chose not to pay for her taxi back home.

2. why i said she shouldn't call him is that from the story he sounds like a guy just looking for a booty call so why should she lower herself and make a fool of herself plus she showed herself in a negative light by her outburst (like i said she made a few wrong moves that day) she should have just silently walked away. So its obvious this relationship aint going to happen so there is no point in her calling him cos even if he was serious about her initially he could have changed his mind and decided to use her from now on (men tend to make up their mind about a girl early on in the dating game).

^^^^^^^^
If he was looking for booty i can assure you the poster would never have gotten away scot free. By the time he fills her head with stories of rapist,thieves,ritualist and robbers that ''supposingly'' operate @his area at that time ''coincidentally'' she will melt with fear and beg HIM for her to stay the night.

slex:

^^^^^^^^
If he was looking for booty i can assure you the poster would never have gotten away scot free. By the time he fills her head with stories of despoiler,thieves,ritualist and robbers that ''supposingly'' operate @his area at that time ''coincidentally'' she will melt with fear and beg HIM for her to stay the night.

my assumption is that the poster is not based in Nij or Africa so all that kind story wouldn't wash.

@sam milla:u are freaky funny, @poster:am sure u know wat u want in ur heart,u don't need to apologies to him and u did not over react

5p1naz:

sam milla gud work lols. . . . checked your blod. . . your a crazy dude. . . i was laffing all thru especially, the super eagles and mamagee story

blank:

@ Sam Milla

Long time no see.

Hope u av more likely scenarios.
Will check out your blog.

@ poster, abeg do your thing.
If the guy begs u, make small shakara b4 u agree.
If not, forget him jo.

Okija_juju:

@ Sam Milla

Beautiful one dude. I like your explanation.

I have started work on The Likely Scenario blog again. I was pretty busy with some work.
You can just subscribe through the blog and get alerts in your e mail every time a new one is posted.