Vincent88:

Thanks for the advice i really appreciate it and i will do as u said

Dude ! Dude ！Dude !!! How many times did I called you ?

If you don’t want to run mad or loses everything you have or even die young , then let bygone be bygone!
Some secrets are better keep secrets forever !

Whatever you and your wife is going through right now is your cross and you have to carry that cross to your grave ! Opening up to your bros or your wife will never.... I repeat.... will never give u a peace of mind !

Believe me the only solution to your present situation is for u to carry that cross (secrets) to grave !

I rest my case !

Vincent88:

Thanks for the advice. She was a virgin im the only one who enter her jeruzalam

wow

But I still strongly believe it has to do with medical issues

Try seeing a doctor

luminouz:

Congratulations bro!!!
U have successfully killed the OP!!!

I've not in any way killed him, it will be better for him to do what I've advised him to do than to live with the guilt here on earth and in the life after where there's no mercy or forgiveness!! There's no secret kept anywhere, it's just a matter of time before the full wages get paid! Moreso have you ever wondered why life events replay themselves trying to make corrections where necessary! This maybe a little thick for you, right but ponder on it, thanks.

Tosinex:
I've not in any way killed him, it will be better for him to do what I've advised him to do than to live with the guilt here on earth and in the life after where there's no mercy or forgiveness!! There's no secret kept anywhere, it's just a matter of time before the full wages get paid! Moreso have you ever wondered why life events replay themselves trying to make corrections where necessary! This maybe a little thick for you, right but ponder on it, thanks.

Ur the one who is having a judaistic view of this shiit,thinking he is being punished for his sin.. Which sin biko? A 17 year old teenager who was abused He is the one whobk suffered here!!!! So whats the karmaic view on his life...See Buhari just won a second time,why not tell him when he will confess so his conscience can let him die in peace?? Or u want him to confess so as to make the elder bro die cuz I tell u his confession now will scatter things and he may likely die... Is that what u want
Infact,are u married
If not,then ur the thick one

Vincent88:

I swear i dont want her even if it came up that she is my child i will never take her away from my brother. She will still his daughter no matter what , I just want to freed myself and move on

Make peace with yourself and move on. Don't tell your brother as it will shatter him completely! He won't be shattered because of the child only, but because you slept with his wife. You aided her infidelity which led to their divorce. Forgive yourself and rest the matter.

Vincent88:

Thanks i will tell my wife but im not sure when is the right time to speak with her maybe early morning or very late at night i just dont know and i hope she will not leave me after hearing this

Now you are talking. You may loose trust and respect. Once trust is broken, sorry means nothing.

Gandollaar:
Make peace with yourself and move on. Don't tell your brother as it will shatter him completely! He won't be shattered because of the child only, but because you slept with his wife. You aided her infidelity which led to their divorce. Forgive yourself and rest the matter.

thank you i will keep it to myself even it is not easy for me because of the guilt im feeling everyday and i cant take this off my head but i will try my best moving on.

Vincent88:

thank you i will keep it to myself even it is not easy for me because of the guilt im feeling everyday and i cant take this off my head but i will try my best moving on.

.

Quote me ASAP let's chat heart to heart concerning your wife miscarriage.

michealdeco:
wow

But I still strongly believe it has to do with medical issues

Try seeing a doctor

We have tried many good hospitals in here but they still cant found the exact causes maybe sending her out of the country will help either to nigeria or south african . I will have a talk with her

soohib:
.

Quote me ASAP let's chat heart to heart concerning your wife miscarriage.

You mean private messages?

emmabest2000:
Dude ! Dude ！Dude !!! How many times did I called you ?

If you don’t want to run mad or loses everything you have or even die young , then let bygone be bygone!
Some secrets are better keep secrets forever !

Whatever you and your wife is going through right now is your cross and you have to carry that cross to your grave ! Opening up to your bros or your wife will never.... I repeat.... will never give u a peace of mind !

Believe me the only solution to your present situation is for u to carry that cross (secrets) to grave !

I rest my case !

Thank you

Vincent88:

You mean private messages?

.

Yes
qamarudeenogido1@gmail.com.

soohib:
.

Yes
qamarudeenogido1@gmail.com.

Ok i will message you

Vincent88:
Hello everyone im new to this forum this is my fidst post.

Please pardon my english it is not fluent because im french speaken but im married to your nigerian sister (my wife).

Im vincent by name 30 years old married for 2 years with no child yet. I come from a family of 3 brothers and im the last born. Our dad passed away 20 years ago so it was our mom took care of us she fought so hard for us to have a better life unfortunatly she also passed away 13 years ago i was only 17 , my senior brother, our first born was married with a son 4 years old at that time, my middle brother was studying at the university and i went to stay with my elder brother.

His wife started seducing me anytime my brother is away in a business trips , she will try all her power but i was rejecting her by reminding her that she is my brother wife i will never deceiving him by sleeping with her and she started maltreating me by no giving me foods and giving me lots of housework to do, i never disrespected her and i will do as she said.

I was scared to tell my brother because he is a short tempered man he had so much love for his wife and he wouldnt even believe me. So she carry on with her mission after 2 years later i was just 19 years old she was 27 i gave in by sleeping with her (worst mistake ever) we started doing it lots of times when my brother is away on business or when the son is at school. She was then pregnant by me i have begged her to abort it but she went ahead with the pregnancy , all my brother knew that he was the father and she had a baby girl who is my carbon copy but people cant see it because they will always says she is looking like me but no one had suspect that she is mine even my brother.

After the baby i could not continue sleeping with her she was angry at me , threatened me that she will send me to prìson but i made my mind no to do it again so after 2 years of supporting her madness i had enough that made me leave the house for goods i went to stay with a friend and i was still in good relationship with my brother even he try to find out what was my reason for leaving the house. Imade up some lies he accepted it.

So he and his wife had 2 more children that makes them four 2 boys and 2 girls but he caught her with another man on their matrimonial bed and he went for DNA for their last child because she is very fair like a mixed race compare to her other siblings who are dark skin and the result come up that he was not the biological father so he divorce her but kept the child because he love the child


After the divorce my brother's life is not the same how it used to be , he is broke and he is a alcoholic and womaniser , i have given him money several times to start business but he still spending the money on women and alcohol. I stop giving him money but i do provide foods and school fees for all 4 children.

My problem is that since i got married my wife had three miscarriages, by 4 months she will loose the pregnancy it really broke her hearts and im in so much pain too but i believed that im being punished for having a child with my ex sister in law and my poor wife is paying for something she never did.

I love her so much and i dont want to loose her . No one else knows about this is only me and ex sister in law who knows about this. I really want to Confess and be free but i dont know how to tell this to my wife and brother . My wife adore my brother's child, they spend holidays in our house and my brother has never question the other 3 DNA because he has a strong believe that they are all his except the youngest girl. My daughter, she is now 10 years .

Please advice me on how to bring this matter to him please no insult i regrets my mistake i sometime wish it was a dream . Sorry for the long post

unless you are planning to reclaim the child as you are yet to have your own. If not, I am advising you to let the sleeping dog lye!

1. You will loose your brother. He may forgive you, but never will he forget. Any little mistake from you he will remind you that you had done the worst already.

2. Your famil will never recover from the shame that will come with the scandal. Na your mumsy I pity pass, she no go fit talk among her mates

3. You child will suffer the stigma

4. Your brother may kill you before killing himself.

5. Telling your wife is never an option

6. You will never remain the same if another ear get to hear this, no matter who!



So, with these few points of mine, you will agree with me that it is better you keep the secret to yourself as you committed it by yourself, than to spread the suffering to your family members by opening the cupboard.

Thanks!

Mr man can you allow the past to remain in the past?

Have you calculated the events that will play out after your actions/confessions?

Do you know that your confession can bring hatred to those vulnerable innocent children ?

Have you consider the stigma those children are already facing because of their mother's lifestyle and what more they will face after your confession?

MY OPINION:::

Confess your sins to God with a sincere mind and he will certainly forgive you.

Allow that incidence to remain in your past to avoid unforeseen problems.

Your wife's miscarriage has nothing to do with this incidence you narrated.

Take your wife to a good hospital and give her proper treatment and care under the supervision of good medical doctor.

I REST MY CASE.

Vincent88:

thank you i will keep it to myself even it is not easy for me because of the guilt im feeling everyday and i cant take this off my head but i will try my best moving on.

what if you were wrong.
what if the child isn't yours??
what if after you confessed your wife problem still continues??
Despite the above ☝️would you still confess??
you need to answer this questions, it is the key to your problem I will tell you why.

kalvoken:


unless you are planning to reclaim the child as you are yet to have your own. If not, I am advising you to let the sleeping dog lye!

1. You will loose your brother. He may forgive you, but never will he forget. Any little mistake from you he will remind you that you had done the worst already.

2. Your family.will never recover from the shame that will come with the scandal. Na your mumsy I pity pass, she no go fit talk in the among her mates

3. You child will suffer the stigma

4. Your brother may kill you before killing himself.

5. Telling your wife is never an option

6. You will never remain the same if another ear get to hear this, no matter who!



So, with these few points of mine, you will agree with me that it is better you keep the secret to yourself as you committed it by yourself, than to spread the suffering to your family members by opening the cupboard.

Thanks!

Despite all you wrote how come you can't spot the flaw in your reasoning.

stanliwise:
Despite all you wrote how come you can't spot the flaw in your reasoning.

Thank you for the correction. Hope you did get the message though?

luminouz:

Ur the one who is having a judaistic view of this shiit,thinking he is being punished for his sin.. Which sin biko? A 17 year old teenager who was abused He is the one whobk suffered here!!!! So whats the karmaic view on his life...See Buhari just won a second time,why not tell him when he will confess so his conscience can let him die in peace?? Or u want him to confess so as to make the elder bro die cuz I tell u his confession now will scatter things and he may likely die... Is that what u want
Infact,are u married
If not,then ur the thick one

if Joseph had allowed himself to be abuse how will he become the prime minister of Egypt!! Mr married man luminous I expect you to put the op in light not in darkness!! There's nothing hidden, no secret that won't come to light either now, later, or here after!!!

kalvoken:


Thank you for the correction. Hope you did get the message though?

Don't think I am trying to insult you.
The man in question said he believes that his current predicaments are as a result of his past actions.
Are you saying he should live with his predicament because of the deadly punishment you perceive is gonna occur if he open up the old chapter of his life. So try to see that the situation is between the devil and the deep blue sea for the man. Because either ways he has to live with an unfinished business by keeping it a secret or face the wrath of his past actions by letting the the cat out.
I don't think any option is superior here, although many factor could change things

stanliwise:
Don't think I am trying to insult you.
The man in question said he believes that his current predicaments are as a result of his past actions.
Are you saying he should live with his predicament because of the deadly punishment you perceive is gonna occur if he open up the old chapter of his life. So try to see that the situation is between the devil and the deep blue sea for the man. Because either ways he has to live with an unfinished business by keeping it a secret or face the wrath of his past actions by letting the the cat out.
I don't think any option is superior here, although many factor could change things

His action has no connection to his present predicament. He is only suffering from a guilty conscience.

The same way he is linking every bad thing he is passing through now to what happened in the past, is how everybody around him will remind him the atrocity he had done in the past any time there's a misunderstanding.

What if the child is not even his? What if his wife's problem is no connection with the case. Believe me, his mind is just playing him tikki takka.

kalvoken:


His action has no connection to his present predicament. He is only suffering from a guilty conscience.

The same way he is linking every bad thing he is passing through now to what happened in the past, is how everybody around him will remind him the atrocity he had done in the past any time there's a misunderstanding.

What if the child is not even his? What if his wife's problem is no connection with the case. Believe me, his mind is just playing him tikki takka.

I am actually glad that someone here is asking same question as I am. In my previous post I ask him what he will do if after confessing nothing changed.
But remember the situation isn't this simple as it is not easy for everyone to convince themselves that their past was not responsible for their current predicaments.
So the problem here is what if he was right, what if truely his past actions was responsible. how do you think he could find out? Do you think there is anyway he could convict himself that truely nothing of his past is responsible?

stanliwise:
what if you were wrong.
what if the child isn't yours??
what if after you confessed your wife problem still continues??
Despite the above ☝️would you still confess??
you need to answer this questions, it is the key to your problem I will tell you why.

Thanks you are right before i was not thinking how telling the whole truth will destroyed them but after getting some good advices on here i have decide to keep it to myself but i will atleast take her from DNA just to know if she is mine or not . Im hoping she will not be mine that will put my mind in peace .

Vincent88:

Thanks you are right before i was not thinking how telling the whole truth will destroyed them but after getting some good advices on here i have decide to keep it to myself but i will atleast take her from DNA just to know if she is mine or not . Im hoping she will not be mine that will put my mind in peace .

if you imply that you wouldn't confess if things later turn around for you, it means that your problem is that you don't know what caused your situation. so as you have said find out whether the child is your and also if your wife problem was anything related to your assumptions.
But as of confessing to your bro, it is actually a different ball game, your confession should be born out wanting to being transparent to him. This means if he actually wants to or if he cares about transparency at all. If he don't I think your problem is with forgiving yourself and asking for forgiveness from God.

Vincent88:

We have done all the test to find out the exact cause but all the results came back clear with no causes found which it is strange and worrying.

Anxiety might caused it also.

Vincent88:


My child is the second child of my brother , the first child is 17 years then my daughter who is 10 then a boy 8 and the last child who my brother went for her DNA she is 6 years old. Thank you i will talk with my middle brother to see if he can help me on how to reveals this secret from him. As for the ex wife she is out of the country married with 2 kids she is actually in USA they cant renconcile again . Thanks

An unfortunate man ended up marrying her again
smh

stanliwise:
I am actually glad that someone here is asking same question as I am. In my previous post I ask him what he will do if after confessing nothing changed.
But remember the situation isn't this simple as it is not easy for everyone to convince themselves that their past was not responsible for their current predicaments.
So the problem here is what if he was right, what if truely his past actions was responsible. how do you think he could find out? Do you think there is anyway he could convict himself that truely nothing of his past is responsible?

I just think he should keep exploring medical solutions to their predicament than letting out the cat from the bag

emmabest2000:
Dude ! Dude ！Dude !!! How many times did I called you ?

If you don’t want to run mad or loses everything you have or even die young , then let bygone be bygone!
Some secrets are better keep secrets forever !

Whatever you and your wife is going through right now is your cross and you have to carry that cross to your grave ! Opening up to your bros or your wife will never.... I repeat.... will never give u a peace of mind !

Believe me the only solution to your present situation is for u to carry that cross (secrets) to grave !

I rest my case !

What a thoughtless advice. My brother, if you carry that secret to the grave, your soul will spend eternity in hell fire. Now these are the choices you have:
a. Spill the beans, make your ways right with God, endure any consequence of your confession and be assured of an eternity of rest.
b. Keep mum, have a 'peaceful' life here on earth, well, your ways will never be right with God with this secret kept, and spend eternity in the tortures of hell.
Don't be fooled, whether you believe it or not, it doesn't matter, there is a heaven and a hell after life here on earth and our relationship with God and man will determine where we will be.

Antina:


Anxiety might caused it also.

Thanks she is a emmotional person but i dont know if it is part of anxiety

rosalieene:

An unfortunate man ended up marrying her again
smh

Yes she is legally married again big white wedding she put pictures all over facebook and she added my wife on facebook so we can see how her life is glowing

PrincewithGod:

What a thoughtless advice. My brother, if you carry that secret to the grave, your soul will spend eternity in hell fire. Now these are the choices you have:
a. Spill the beans, make your ways right with God, endure any consequence of your confession and be assured of an eternity of rest.
b. Keep mum, have a 'peaceful' life here on earth, well, your ways will never be right with God with this secret kept, and spend eternity in the tortures of hell.
Don't be fooled, whether you believe it or not, it doesn't matter, there is a heaven and a hell after life here on earth and our relationship with God and man will determine where we will be.

Thank you for the advices

Vincent88:

Yes she is legally married again big white wedding she put pictures all over facebook and she added my wife on facebook so we can see how her life is glowing

such is life
when I say karma doesn't work for all, some persons argue with me.