This is serious

dis matter get weight ooo, pls just go and confess to ur family members and ask God for forgiveness.

Notice how this thread was matured with people giving helpful advice. But the moment it was moved to front page, the immature brats started commenting.

Hmmn.

This matter strong oo.

Op, if you have money, secretly do a DNA test between you and the girl.

If you find out she ain't yours, bury the matter.

If she is yours, do whatever will put your mind at rest. Just have it in mind that things won't remain the same again.

Good luck.

you be sharp guy but no go again ooo

First you must be truthful to yourself. Are you truly seeking to free yourself or you are yearning for your child? They’re quite a number of homes that are In the same boat as yours(not having kids). I understand how conscience might be pushing you to make amends however it must be thought through over and over. Would your confession at this point help your wife or home or family at large? If NO suspend it get to a omgood counsellor and open up to him or her for better advise.
The Bible says He who covers his sin wouldn’t prosper, at some point you’ve to confess and seek forgiveness from your wife and brother but do so when the time is right.

Blood will flow if you tell your brother.

Incest

Betrayer

taking away the said to be daughter he loves so much.



Two questions you need to ask yourself


1. Is is better my action keeps hunting me or is it better I get freed

2. Is it better I keep pretending to be saint or I confess my sins and make up for a better life.


Talk to your other brothers about this. Tell them it has to be discreet till the right time.


Tell your wife how you were forced and you fell and what it resulted to. I believe if your wife finally forgives you, your problem will now be your brother.


Assemble with your other brothers and your wife and say it.


Free yourself once and for all.

Modupetemmy1:
I'll suggest you rather tell non of them. since you claimed you weren't interested in having the child stays with you, it would be better if you keep it a secret.
as for your brother ; he might still forgive you been his bro but can never regain your trust.
he's been through a lot already and revealing this to him might destabilize and get him depress which is worse.
its easy to forgive but not forget.
i have a similar issue sometime a go despite how much I love the person
he didn't even know that I was already aware of the stuff
but for peace to reign and for the family not to scatter I just hold my peace by keeping mute
it remains a top secret between both of them
non of them knew i was aware i just pretended as if nothing happened though both parties later retrace their steps.
if not for the fact that I was able to keep mute and pretend as if nothing happened family go don' scatter
it will now be;if I had known I would have kept it a secret
later on people would blame you that why did you say it despite knowing his present condition

some things are rather left unsaid. that's my precious advice.
you want to put him in more pains all because you want to be conscience free.
its not as easy as you think.
you just have to live with it
bro
pls try and take care of him
don't let him go into depression

take this advice... I will add that if you must confess go to a catholic priest/pastor that's away from your immediate vicinity.. confess to him and move on. Put everything in prayer. If your wife finds out, she might not be able to control her reaction and thereby cause more harm than good. Your brother's case will be worse he'd either kill you or himself.. and then you go dey regret say you tell am in the first place.

Vincent88:

Yes the story is true im not lying ... thanks the only family i have is my 2 brothers ,the other family members we dont have a very good relationships but i will try to talk to my middle bro who is in dubai to see if he can offer any help to talk to our senior brother . All i want is for this secrets to come out so i can beg for my brother forgiveness and be free

Talk to ur wife first. She is d only one dat can defend and stand with u.

Vincent88:
Hello everyone im new to this forum this is my fidst post.

Please pardon my english it is not fluent because im french speaken but im married to your nigerian sister (my wife).

Im vincent by name 30 years old married for 2 years with no child yet. I come from a family of 3 brothers and im the last born. Our dad passed away 20 years ago so it was our mom took care of us she fought so hard for us to have a better life unfortunatly she also passed away 13 years ago i was only 17 , my senior brother, our first born was married with a son 4 years old at that time, my middle brother was studying at the university and i went to stay with my elder brother.

His wife started seducing me anytime my brother is away in a business trips , she will try all her power but i was rejecting her by reminding her that she is my brother wife i will never deceiving him by sleeping with her and she started maltreating me by no giving me foods and giving me lots of housework to do, i never disrespected her and i will do as she said.

I was scared to tell my brother because he is a short tempered man he had so much love for his wife and he wouldnt even believe me. So she carry on with her mission after 2 years later i was just 19 years old she was 27 i gave in by sleeping with her (worst mistake ever) we started doing it lots of times when my brother is away on business or when the son is at school. She was then pregnant by me i have begged her to abort it but she went ahead with the pregnancy , all my brother knew that he was the father and she had a baby girl who is my carbon copy but people cant see it because they will always says she is looking like me but no one had suspect that she is mine even my brother.

After the baby i could not continue sleeping with her she was angry at me , threatened me that she will send me to prìson but i made my mind no to do it again so after 2 years of supporting her madness i had enough that made me leave the house for goods i went to stay with a friend and i was still in good relationship with my brother even he try to find out what was my reason for leaving the house. Imade up some lies he accepted it.

So he and his wife had 2 more children that makes them four 2 boys and 2 girls but he caught her with another man on their matrimonial bed and he went for DNA for their last child because she is very fair like a mixed race compare to her other siblings who are dark skin and the result come up that he was not the biological father so he divorce her but kept the child because he love the child


After the divorce my brother's life is not the same how it used to be , he is broke and he is a alcoholic and womaniser , i have given him money several times to start business but he still spending the money on women and alcohol. I stop giving him money but i do provide foods and school fees for all 4 children.

My problem is that since i got married my wife had three miscarriages, by 4 months she will loose the pregnancy it really broke her hearts and im in so much pain too but i believed that im being punished for having a child with my ex sister in law and my poor wife is paying for something she never did.

I love her so much and i dont want to loose her . No one else knows about this is only me and ex sister in law who knows about this. I really want to Confess and be free but i dont know how to tell this to my wife and brother . My wife adore my brother's child, they spend holidays in our house and my brother has never question the other 3 DNA because he has a strong believe that they are all his except the youngest girl. My daughter, she is now 10 years .

Please advice me on how to bring this matter to him please no insult i regrets my mistake i sometime wish it was a dream . Sorry for the long post

Firstly you erred. But how are you sure the one you called yours is even yours. A lady that had sex with more than a single man cannot tell who father the child. Telling your brother or opening up will not solve any problem I can guarantee that. It will cause more damage than good for you, your brother, the innocent child and your wife.

Get a good hospital and personal doctor let your wife be examined and guided.

Please let the buried dead rest. Resurrected dead don't bring joy that's why everyone run away.

What would you have done if your wife or brother tell you the same.

OP PLEASE DO SOME RESEARCH ON RHESUS COMPLEX, YOUR CASE IS NOT SPIRITUAL YOU CAN FIND A SOLUTION FROM YOUR FINDINGS.

My brother don't let anyone deceive u.......It's a medical condition u will need to see a specialist

Vincent88:
Hello everyone im new to this forum this is my fidst post.

Please pardon my english it is not fluent because im french speaken but im married to your nigerian sister (my wife).

Im vincent by name 30 years old married for 2 years with no child yet. I come from a family of 3 brothers and im the last born. Our dad passed away 20 years ago so it was our mom took care of us she fought so hard for us to have a better life unfortunatly she also passed away 13 years ago i was only 17 , my senior brother, our first born was married with a son 4 years old at that time, my middle brother was studying at the university and i went to stay with my elder brother.

His wife started seducing me anytime my brother is away in a business trips , she will try all her power but i was rejecting her by reminding her that she is my brother wife i will never deceiving him by sleeping with her and she started maltreating me by no giving me foods and giving me lots of housework to do, i never disrespected her and i will do as she said.

I was scared to tell my brother because he is a short tempered man he had so much love for his wife and he wouldnt even believe me. So she carry on with her mission after 2 years later i was just 19 years old she was 27 i gave in by sleeping with her (worst mistake ever) we started doing it lots of times when my brother is away on business or when the son is at school. She was then pregnant by me i have begged her to abort it but she went ahead with the pregnancy , all my brother knew that he was the father and she had a baby girl who is my carbon copy but people cant see it because they will always says she is looking like me but no one had suspect that she is mine even my brother.

After the baby i could not continue sleeping with her she was angry at me , threatened me that she will send me to prìson but i made my mind no to do it again so after 2 years of supporting her madness i had enough that made me leave the house for goods i went to stay with a friend and i was still in good relationship with my brother even he try to find out what was my reason for leaving the house. Imade up some lies he accepted it.

So he and his wife had 2 more children that makes them four 2 boys and 2 girls but he caught her with another man on their matrimonial bed and he went for DNA for their last child because she is very fair like a mixed race compare to her other siblings who are dark skin and the result come up that he was not the biological father so he divorce her but kept the child because he love the child


After the divorce my brother's life is not the same how it used to be , he is broke and he is a alcoholic and womaniser , i have given him money several times to start business but he still spending the money on women and alcohol. I stop giving him money but i do provide foods and school fees for all 4 children.

My problem is that since i got married my wife had three miscarriages, by 4 months she will loose the pregnancy it really broke her hearts and im in so much pain too but i believed that im being punished for having a child with my ex sister in law and my poor wife is paying for something she never did.

I love her so much and i dont want to loose her . No one else knows about this is only me and ex sister in law who knows about this. I really want to Confess and be free but i dont know how to tell this to my wife and brother . My wife adore my brother's child, they spend holidays in our house and my brother has never question the other 3 DNA because he has a strong believe that they are all his except the youngest girl. My daughter, she is now 10 years .

Please advice me on how to bring this matter to him please no insult i regrets my mistake i sometime wish it was a dream . Sorry for the long post

I won't tell him if I where you, just find a good hospital and they'll give you great solutions. God has forgiven you, but going down that road with your brother will break him more. Come on! He has gone through alot already, if you must tell him out of guilt why do it now his broken? He needs help to stand on his feet back again so don't torment his soul please.

Vincent88:

Yes the story is true im not lying ... thanks the only family i have is my 2 brothers ,the other family members we dont have a very good relationships but i will try to talk to my middle bro who is in dubai to see if he can offer any help to talk to our senior brother . All i want is for this secrets to come out so i can beg for my brother forgiveness and be free

my candid advice for you is that wen next your wife is pregnant, get her pregnant care drugs. It will make her baby to stay. She wouldn't have miscarriage again

OKOATA:
me and that BF met in sec school, went to the same UNI, lived in the same house and knows my family. We shared things together. I have moved on. I never let an heart break hurt me no more.

How can your Best Friend sleep with your GF. Mehn me I can't forgive that kind of thing. If it's the Girl I want to marry, I will kill the guy honestly, It's either I die OR we both die.

Michelle55:

He was never your best friend.. Best friends would never intentionally hurt those they love or care about. Your ex and the so-called best friend has been hitting the jackpot without your knowledge. Sorry about that though, you will do just fine!
@Op, go with an elderly person to seek forgiveness from your brother, if not for anything but for your peace of mind. Explain things to him, he would definitely understand why you couldn't open up to him all those years.

Omo mehn, if I catch that Best friend.I go kill am straight up! No excuse, na death by Suicide I go do sef.

Hang him, then put a note with his hand writing. God punish Devil. Mtchew!!!

This is all about you, you and you. You are not thinking of the others involved in this. You claim the secret is killing you, but disclosing this family secret will 'kill' and do immeasurable damage to several people.

Consider the emotional turmoil this is likely to create in your 'daughter', her three siblings, their father - your brother. Straight away , that's 5 people whose lives may never be the same again after your disclosure. Then, there's your wife who will not forgive you in a hurry for the grave dishonesty of keeping this from her all this while and who may also begin to see you as the source of her pregnancy- related problems.

I fear you're going to end up ruinning a lot of innocent lives.

If anything, you've waited too long. The girl is 10 years old. She's known your brother as his father all along. What on earth would she make of the news that 'uncle' is actually her father. You risk messing this girl up for life. You are about to throw a devastating emotional bomb into her young life.

You had the opportunity to take responsibility and not sleep with that woman. You didn't. You could have come out immediately it happened and do the so-called confession. You didn't.

To come out now would be very selfish. Like I said in my opening, it would be about you satisfying you and you alone.

This is one secret you should keep to yourself, if only for the sake of that little girl.

Michelle55:

He was never your best friend.. Best friends would never intentionally hurt those they love or care about. Your ex and the so-called best friend has been hitting the jackpot without your knowledge. Sorry about that though, you will do just fine!
@Op, go with an elderly person to seek forgiveness from your brother, if not for anything but for your peace of mind. Explain things to him, he would definitely understand why you couldn't open up to him all those years.

Omo mehn, if I catch that Best friend.I go kill am straight up! No excuse, na death by Suicide I go do sef.

Hang him, then put a note with his hand writing. God punish Devil. Mtchew!!!

YOU ARE A BLOODY BASTARD... YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NOTHING YET

Gosh which kin life b this. See confusion and life story. This is a secret that you take to the grave because once it’s out, it will turn into a bigger disaster. Keep your mouth closed.

Confess Bro..
Lieing again will mean digging another hole
Again for yourself..
Just open up & confess

humm..

Vincent88:

Im worried about this too because i dont want my secret to lead him to suicide because its already suffering so much since the divorce but myself im not in peace too because hidden it is killing me every singld day. My brother own a house where he is staying with the kids but he does not want anyone to take over the children myself and wife has tried if we can get the kids to live with us or just the 2 girls he has refused saying he cant live without them he has already lost their mother and he cant be apart from them their are his treasures . He bring them to my house every holidays . Do you think i should keep the secrets from my brother and my wife please?

I feel for you Bro. I pray you find inner peace.

Let me tell you something, in this life, some things are better left unsaid. I think you need to forgive yourself and move on. He is already heartbroken, don't destroy him by telling him this story. He might never forgive himself

LET ME GIVE U A SINCERE ADVISE THE FACT THAT U
SLEPT WITH UR BROTHER'S WIFE AND THE BABY LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD BE A MERE COINCIDENCE SHE COULD HAVE BEEN PREGNANT FEW WEEKS OR DAYS FOR YOUR BROTHER WHILE U WERE STILL SLEEPING WITH HER.U NEED TO BE SURE OF THIS THROUGH THE WIFE OR DNA TEST U MAY BE WRONG AFTER ALL.SECONDLY IF U TELL ANY OF UR SIBBLINGS URE RUINED FOR LIFE AND UR MARRIAGE WILL ALSO WRECK UNFORTUNATELY U WERE YOUNG THEN BUT PUTTING MYSELF IN YOUR BROTHERS SHOES I CAN NEVER FORGIVE U TILL I DIE.EVEN UR WIFE'S MISCARRIAGE COULD BE A COINCIDENCE TOO.FOR NOW SEEK MEDICAL AND SPIRITUAL HELP.PRAY TO GOD SINCERELY FOR HELP AND FORGIVENESS ABOVE ALL FAST AND PRAY FERVENTLY ONCE A THIRD PARTY KNOWS U WILL NEVER SURVIVE THE ONSLAUGHT U WILL REGRET IT AND RUIN IT IMMEDIATE AND EXTENDED FAMILY.DONT JUST ROCK THE BOAT BUT TRY DO A DNA TEST ON THE 10YR OLD CHILD U MAY HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN UNKNOWINGLY.UR STORY IS A BIG LESSON FOR ALL TO LEARN FROM.

Never confess

Vincent88:

Yes the story is true im not lying ... thanks the only family i have is my 2 brothers ,the other family members we dont have a very good relationships but i will try to talk to my middle bro who is in dubai to see if he can offer any help to talk to our senior brother . All i want is for this secrets to come out so i can beg for my brother forgiveness and be free

You did this atrocity at a much younger age when you could barely tell your right from left in the midst of the confusion and temptation. That's what you'd tell yourself to justify your misdeeds. But your brother or wife or any of the other family members won't see it that way. To them, you are an evil, sly, conniving bastard! There's nothing to say to absolve you of the blame, you are guilty as charged.

Now that you seem to be remorseful, first things first. There's nothing connecting your wife's inability to carry a pregnancy to term and your mistake of yesteryears. Your wife's condition is absolutely medical, not spiritual or extra terrestrial, so seek medical solutions. She'll be fine and you'll have legitimate babies.

Then, ask forgiveness from your wife first. This is so the both of you can work together. It will be you and her versus the family. After your wife, you can then inform your brother in Dubai. With him, arrange for the moment you'd tell your brother. Don't tell him alone if you don't want your 6 feet journey to be quickened. Good luck as you take the bold step.

U wasted ur time to advise him. This is the best advise i read so far but the idiot is keen on finally demoralizing his brother...


My guy sincerely, listen to what this woman has said above.
Reasons:
1. Your relationship with your brother will never remain the same even if he forgives you. You stand the chance of losing your only brother who is around you, the other is in dubai.
2. You do not want your daughter back, so! let sleeping dogs lie
3. With the present state your brother is, he most likely will kill himself
4. You spoke of Conscience; take it as a punishment for what you did and find peace with God.
5. Your wife accepted your daughter as your brother's child, your wife might not be so nice to her knowing she is your daughter. The attitude of an average Nigerian woman.
6. What you did might not be the cause of your wife miscarriage. like someone suggested on the trend, go to the hospital, it could be the issue of Rhesus.

Know that the overall decision lies with you, but how will you feel if, all I have listed above happens after confessing to your brother? You chances of been forgiven are very slim, and chances of worsen your brothers condition are high.
[/quote]

Nigga, as a Yoruba man, raised by watching Yoruba movie, I'll conclude that the day you bring your daughter into your house to live with you permanently is the day your wife get delivered of the spirit of miscarriage

On a serious note, you need to talk to some elders in your family, and share the secret with your brother. It's no more your concern if he forgives you or not. But pls do the right thing

You can't trivialize the taboo you placed on yourself by having sexual affair with his wife.

Go to him and explain what happened, involve elders in your family, prior to doing that

As for your wife, she'll understand and if not, it's up to her

Nothing trumps freedom and a great deal of inner peace

PEACE!

OP, dont confess! Except you want the drunk man to kill you or kill himself and your marriage to scatter. Take your wife to another hospital. The problem maybe incompetent cervix and can be handled medically.